Ulminati said:
Fuckin' slowpokes...
One of the most retarded battles so far awaits us. Let's prepare.
DR has HJump5 already learned, he learns VJump8 to max his jumping range. Not enough JP to learn Dragonheart. He equips an axe (stupid idea as it quickly turns out).
Guzu, Bee and WC prepare as well
Ramza switches to monk (required for future ninjahood).
It's time to RAGE hard!
16. Tchigolith Fenlands
^Whoever came out with these names, should be castrated...
Shitty terrain + retarded set of monsters. Fuck, I hate modders.
We face: 2 ghosts, 3 MHDs and 3 skeletons
Attempt #1
Mustadio could be useful as fuck here, since he can turn undead fucks to stone from afar
But since he's a guest, he spends most of his time doing shit or getting killed
DR's axe looks great on paper:
But this weapon is shit as fuck in reality, due to variable damage:
If I'm not sure how big the damage will be, why should I use some faggotic shitfucking shit?
Customer Support said:
Dear DR-kun. Your rights to equip your character has been suspended until further notice. Have a nice day.
Guzu is able to do some decent damage
Bee's techniques can be useful as well, as long as we don't use 'Dark' ones
And the 'Dark' one is the strongest that she has at her disposal.
Problems:
1. Skeletons are broken as sweet fuck. Not only they can use strong elemental ranged attacks with 100% accuracy (Anima attacks), but also Gravity and Death spells, that heal undead (skeletons & ghosts):
So, with a single attack, that costs them close to no MP, they are able to fuck our guys and heal their guys.
Oh, and it's not shown on their character sheets, but they have also 'Critical - Recover HP' set.
Who the fuck thought it would be good idea? What the fuck is wrong with these modding fucks?
Your job is to fix a broken game, not to break it for enemies as well, for fucks sake!
2. MHDs are the most fair enemies here - they can hit us using tentacles, but mainly use their 'Bad Breath':
Which means 'Game Over' most of the time - we don't have equipment that protect ourselves from 'Stone' or 'Confuse' yet. And 'wise' unit positioning is difficult due to terrain limitation (standing in water means lower defense and offense + poison status).
3. Ghost are almost impossible to hit using physical attacks (insane evade = ~30 accuracy when attacking them from behind), they can also Touch you in wrong way, which inflicts 'Stop'.
Did I mention that all KOed undead can randomly go back to un-life instead of turning into crystals / treasure chests?
Don't worry, I will.
I was even able to kill ALL MHDs, 1 ghost and 1 skeleton AND bring my guys back to life/action at one point
But remaining 2 skeletons and 1 ghost were enough to rape my party moments later
Attempt #2
Let's try same team but with different setup. WC learns Bomb and Waterwalking
Ramza switches to dragoon
DR chooses less retarded setup
Problems:
Even if you try killing skeletons one by one, there's always a chance of this:
Avoiding being raped by MHDs is nearly impossible - there are 3 of them, after all
^That's Bee and Guzu turned into frogs
With one unit under my control left, I decided to try again...
Attempt #3 + many qucikloads
Let's try something else. Mustadio switches Items for Aim - maybe that will force him to use only 'Aimed Shot' abilities?
Spoilar: No
Since DR can't use Dragonheart yet, he should be replaced by Sov - maybe we will be able to fuck the enemies up using status-changing attacks?
Spoliar: No
The beginning of this attempt wasn't very promising:
So, we lost Mustadio and Sov before they even got a chance to act...
Good thing - units can recover from this status on their own, after some time. As long as they are still alive, that is...
We were able to own one of the MHDs
But moments later we lost Guzu
WC missed a ghost twice
I reloaded to check something different, this time WC hit the same enemy twice
Holy shit! This looks like the best tactic for this MAJESTIC mod!
: popular tony lee jones pic here :
After some qucikloads, Guzu discovers proper way of dealing with this (and probably every other) mission.
All enemies except 1 MHD alive, 3 units left on our side. Guzu casts Bahamut:
PROTIP: bring 2 or more summoners, steamroll everyone, since summons have 100% accuracy.
: popular image of sad puppy here :
But wait! There's more!
I still needed some quickloads and pure luck to actually finish this mission!
Enemies are quick as sweet fuck:
We were able to kill all but 2 enemies at one point, but:
Bee's weakest drawing attack is... weak. But at least it doesn't heal enemies...
Using Hi-potion on undead is one of the strongest attacks we can use
Dragonheart is very useful, too bad that it kicks in rarely. Of course for enemies who have it, it kicks in after almost EVERY our attack, but that's probably total coincidence...
Unfortunately for us, one of the gosts auto-revives, Ramza gets stoned and Guzu dies from tentacle rape
It's qucikload time!
I try many different things, but success depends mostly on number of enemies who permanently die. If most of them auto-recover, our party is screwed no matter what.
After many futile quickloads, all three KOed enemies turn into crystals/chests.
We have Ramza, Bee and Guzu alive. Guzu owns remaining MHD using Ifrit:
Remaining ghost (he withdrew after being bahamuted by Guzu earlier) comes close. Bee deals with him, ending the fight
Man, I feel like a master tactician right now. 'Use quickload till you reach desired effect. Try different tactics till you find the one and
only one that works'.
Requires a real BRIAN SURGEON for sure.
Great job, you fucking drog-likes...
We continue to our destination:
Video 31. Entering Goug
We can buy pistols for chemists at last
And investing into Remedies seems like a good idea
Bee switches to dragoon - all units need Dragonheart ASAP, IMO
Guzu, Steve and Sov should switch to chemists and grab guns - we need plenty of chemist JP to 'learn' Remedy for everyone
After a long fucking struggle, our team if free from guests
Fucking finally!
Brofist this ONLY if you're >30 and still a virgin.
See you next March.