Update 5: Horrible creatures, I avoid them whenever I can.
In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium there is only war. In the decline of King Todd's
kingdom however there is a shining beacon of incline hellbent on maiming, torturing and sodomizing anyone in his path.
This champion of distasteful rape is currently preparing to assault yet another popamole infested hellhole. One thing is certain,
there will be blood. His unholy crusade approaches the outer reaches of the region when....
: WHAT IS THIS HIDEOUS CREATURE?!
: [Hoppity] [hop] [hop]
: [booming voice] It Is A Fluffy White Rabbit, A Creature Born Of Decline. It Must Be Annihilated!
: [the creature squeals as if it knows what will happen in a second]
Cleve grabs the creature and devours it in a most disgusting vomit-inducing manner which greatly pleases Lord Nurgle.
: Lord Keeper, this entire area is filled with these... things.
: What is the name of this disgusting realm?
: Snugglebell - The folk of Snugglebell worship the common rabbit.
Floppy eared bunnies are encouraged to hop around the fields
surrounding the hamlet, bringing happiness, love, and more bunnies to
the entire area.
: [hop] [hop]
:
I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THESE ABOMINATIONS!
: [booming voice] Shall I Order The Slaves To Start Digging?
: Do it, the complete destruction of this land has been postponed for far too long.
: Lord Keeper the scouts report that there is another keeper in the area.
: I aM TrOo sErVaNt Of ChAoZ, YoO WiLl bEE cRusHeD unDEEr mY BooT!
: OBLIVION SHALL BE THE REWARD FOR YOUR INSOLENCE WORM!
: [booming voice] Oblivion Is Truly The Most Harsh Of Known Punishments.
: We have located the local gold deposits Lord Keeper, it seems likely that the enemy is located to the south near the gold seams.
: Daemon, order the slaves to start constructing the citadel and mining the gold.
: [booming voice] It Shall Be Done Keeper.
: Construction is going as planned and new minions have joined your horde Lord Keeper.
: Build a guard post at the southern entrance. The last thing I need is that fool defiling my fortress with his presence or those freakish hopping abominations, oh and order the slaves to build both a new prison and a workshop warlock.
: Yes Lord Keeper, I will relay these orders to the Daemon.
: No pReeZON CaN hOLd mY PowAH! GuaRDz caNNot sTOp trOO sERVantZ of ChaoZ!
: Too bad that you are not a true servant of Chaos fool!
: [hop] [hop]
:
: Lord Keeper, your warlocks have mastered the art of arcane electrocution.
: Finally these worthless warlocks master something truly useful! Dig south and prepare the possession ritual, there has been far too little blood spilled here so far.
: [hop] [hoppity]
:
USE THIS NEW RITUAL TO KILL THIS THING!
A bright flash lits the chamber blinding everyone in sight for a brief moment. The stench of burned flesh can be smelled in the air. The rabbit has been killed.
: Finally this hideous beast is dead....
: [hoppity]
:
: Your slaves have found an underground lake Lord Keeper.
: This fool thinks... some water... WILL STOP ME?!
: WHAT NO ENEMIES?!
: We wILl cOmE FoR yOO soON!
: I will come for you sooner than that worm!
: Ah yes, these servants of Slaneesh will prove most useful.
Just after finishing that sentence Keeper Hellraiser once again loses consciousness. He can see the Great Daemon speaking to him once again. The noise of the warp is as unbearable to mortal ears as is was during his previous visions.
: SHE IS THE FINAL KEY [loud screams of torture victims gone mad from the pain are heard] ALTAR [great roars of a daemon horde are heard] SACRIFICE [warp energy explodes with tremendous force somewhere near] UNBOUND....
Keeper Hellraiser awakens.
: Another vision... Daemon what do you know of a sacrifice of made of a troll, a mistress and one of your kind?
: [booming voice] It Is The Ritual Of Unbounding, Used To Summon Powerful Daemon To This World.
: What do I need to summon this Great Daemon?
: [booming voice] A Temple Worthy Of The Ruinous Powers And A Sacrifice Of The Most Powerful Of Minions.
: Then I will make the sacrifice as soon as possible.
: This torture chamber is a magnificent addition to my dark citadel! Daemon! Order the slaves to build a treasury near my new torture chamber and dig the gold near it.
: [booming voice] As You Wish... Keeper.
: [booming voice] I Have Taught Your Craftsmen How To Construct Lightning Traps. These Arcane Constructs Will Electrocute Anyone Foolish Enough To Get Near One.
: A useful device, it should keep these fluffy white abominations away from me.
: [hoppity]
:
: [booming voice] Kinky.
: Lord Keeper the minions have been paid I also bring some troubling news...
: I CapCHOORed UR BridGE! SoON I WiLL iMPALe yOO!
: PREPARE THE ASSAULT!
: YESSSSSSSS!!!!! BLOOOODDD!!!!! BLOOOD FOR THE BLOOOD GOD!!!
: Order the slaves to check if any of them are still breathing Daemon. If they are imprison them, I need them to test this new torture chamber.
: [booming voice] It Shall Be Done.
: How do you like this pain you are in? You think this is all I can do? YOU ARE WRONG!!!
: One of your torture victims has died and risen as a ghost.
: He was weak, that torture wasn't even a quarter as painful as that what I planned for him! Send another prisoner for torture!
: Send another assault force, it is time for the enemy to be rewarded for his insolence!
: NoW I aM StROnGER! Yoo wILL MeeT UR dOOM!
: What?! Where do you think you are going?!!
: It is payday Lord Keeper...
: THERE IS NO SUCH THINGS AS PAYDAY IN THE MIDDLE OF GLORIOUS CARNAGE!
: Claim faster you worms!
: Soon I will have a subject worthy of torturing!
: No! I wiLL DefEEEt yOO!
: I am coming for you worm! Warlock! Prepare the possession ritual!
: Now, what do you prefer? Being forced to drink boiling oil or having your flesh slowly torn off from your body by hungry trolls?
: Noooo! Is STRONGGGG! Yooo R NO matCH!
: I will start with your tongue!
: NOOOOO!!! GHAAAAAAAAAA...[screams of pain]
Keeper tongues ripped out: 3
: Oh now I will enjoy every last moment of life that you have still left. Prepare to spend the rest of your life in excruciating pain! Don't worry, you won't die for a very long time.
: [hop] [hoppity] [hop]
:
Warlock! Rename the land as Steep Scythe and get rid of those fluffy abominations!
: Yes Lord Keeper.
Days pass, the Warlock returns to the torture chamber where Keeper Hellraiser has been torturing his opponent ever since ordering the Warlock to rename and burn the land.
: It is done Lord Keeper.
: Steep Scythe - Everyone has been put to the sword, and we've made an
enormous magic carpet out of the thousands of bunnies that swarmed
here. Your minions will feast on their tiny remains for weeks. Truly
a majestic victory.
: Magnificent.
Meanwhile in King Todd's War Camp the King himself instructs two of his knights how to fight the evil that is sweeping across the land...
: That is not how you do it men! You can't just charge and hack the monster's head off!
You need to stand in front of it and tell it that you are a champion of good! Tell it of all your glorious achievements. Only after that you can attack.
: How long are we supposed to list our triumphs to it your majesty?
: Fifteen minutes.
: But won't the monster attack us while we say all that?
: Nonsense! It is bound by rules of honor to listen to the hero as he lists his glorious deeds.
: Well I guess it is... [he whispers to the knight next to him] Has the king been drinking today?
: [the other knight whispers back] I wish drinking was the cause of his madness...
Score:
I was disappointed at the lack of bloodletting in this level. I kind of forgot about all the boring easy early levels between the tutorial and the ones with glorious carnage. Fortunately there are at most 2 more easy ones ahead. Updates should be coming more frequently from now on though and they should contain a lot more enemy minion/hero torturing.