Let's play Dungeon Keeper #12 Daemons of Rage.

[Brother None]

We shall bathe in bunny blood!

 

[Infantryman]

For some reason it always amuses whenever Lord Hellraiser refers to Cleve as a daemon . Great update, as always!

 

[Hellraiser]

Update 6: Da boyz are 'ere!

The sun has risen above Wishvale Castle. Lady Catherine is in front of her castle waiting for the arrival of reinforcements from King Todd...

: They should have been here by now. What is taking them so long? He conscripted every last one of my knights except for you Sir Roderick, how am I supposed to defend my castle with just one knight at my side?

: Surely the king knows what he is doing my Lady.

: Still he could have expected this evil horde to come in the direction of my castle. It has been advancing in the direction of my lands ever since this whole business began.

: Do not worry my Lady. I am sure the reinforcements will be here shortly.

A moment later a group of people approaches the castle...

: You! What are you doing here?

: Um the King...

: The King what peasant?

: He sent us! We ish the reinforshments!

: What is all this commotion, have the reinforcements arrived yet Sir Roderick?

: Yesh we have!

: Peasant, I may have a sense of humor but this is not something you should jest about. An evil horde is approaching.

: We know! We know! The King! He sent us! Here we show you royal sheal!

The filthy peasant shows Lady Catherine a letter with the royal seal of King Todd. The Lady starts reading the letter aloud...

: "To the fair Lady Catherine. I send you these noble warriors recruited from the dungpits of shitholia. They may be inexperienced but as we all know all the greatest heroes of legend start out as no-name rabble from some backwater village.
I believe you will appreciate being part of a tale that will be told for centuries to come! Sincerely, King Todd."

: See! Itsh true! We become heroesh like in the talesh!

: If I will somehow survive this I will personally depose that motherfucker.

Meanwhile in the deep underground chambers of Keeper Hellraiser's newest dungeon...

: [booming voice] Keeper The Slaves Have Finished Digging.

: Good, I was getting bored of whipping those lazy worms. Warlock! What can you tell me of this realm?

: Wishvale - This region of dreaming underlings is ruled by the
beautiful lady Catherine. She is kind, and fair, and doesn't imprison
or torture her subjects, for some reason...

: WHAT KIND OF PATHETIC RULER DOES NOT DO THAT?!!

: Lazy slaves! I need bigger chambers and more of them! Daemon go whip those slaves until they get it right this time!

: [booming voice] Their Mistake Shall Be Rectified.

: Lord Keeper the slaves have started mining one of the gold veins. Unfortunately we do not know where the enemy keeper or the heroes of this land are hiding.

: The cowards cannot hide from me forever.

: Lord Keeper it seems that a....

Suddenly an orc storms into the chamber.

: Oi you there! The spiky one! Me and da boyz 'eard dat youz do a lot of fightin' n' killin' so me n' da boyz thought we join ur 'orde.

: YOU SHALL ADRESS ME PROPERLY AS LORD KEEPER ORC OR I WILL MAIM YOU.

: You 'eard dat boyz? I told youz he'z a killin' type o' spiky 'umie!

: [booming voice] You Will Address The Keeper As He Wishes Or He Will Make Use Of His Torture Chamber.

: Uh boss? We'z not like dem torturin' thingies.

: Shaddap you sodz! Alright Lord Keepah, we'z doin' as you sayz.

: You better worm!

: I 'az a gift for ya Lord Keepah! Me 'n da boyz will show your imp boyz 'ow to build dem barrack thingies. Youz be able to form powahfull WAAAGHHH in dem!

: Warlock! Can you translate this gibberish?

: I think he means that you can use one the barracks to form groups of minions lead by the orc warlord Lord Keeper*.

*Arguably the biggest and only bullshit in this game, if at the very least it would be any possessed creature within the barracks that leads the minion group it would be good. But only orc warlords?
It is inconvenient as fuck and about as much fun because orc abilities are rather bland as you will see in a moment, fortunately the sequel fixed this nonsense.
Also Dungeon Keeper orcs are the shittiest looking orks I have ever seen in any game. I mean fuck not only is the violet vomit-inducing the design looks more like a fucking troll than anything.

: Oi look at me boyz! Iz da strongest 'n' da meanest of you lot!

: Youz sure iz boss!

: At least these orcs do not waste time on doing nothing in your dungeon Lord Keeper.

: They might prove useful, but if they won't I will make use of the torture chamber.

: Oi watz behind dat door?

: 'opefully sumthin' to kill!

: As pathetic as these orcs are their blood lust is almost... admirable.

: [booming voice] Keeper, I Have Ordered Your Slaves To Dig And Construct New Torture And Prison Chambers.

: Good, there can never be too many of those.

: I killed it! Ish big hero now I ish, just like in them tales.

: Oh there you are coward, come and meet your DOOM!

: I guesh I'll jusht go back to camp....

: Oi! Dat 'umie is escapin'! Can we'z kill 'em boss?

: Oi Keepah Lord! Can we'z chase dat 'umie?

: Later orc, now you will prepare for the ritual. Warlock prepare the possession ritual.

: Uh... Watz dat possesion thingy boss?

: Dunno must be some spiky 'umie waaaagh or sumithin'.

: [booming voice] The Chambers Are Ready Keeper. There Is A Lava Lake Next To The Prison. The Enemy Should Be On The Other Shore Of That Lake.

: Order the slaves to build a bridge Daemon! Orcs! Come here! I have a task for you, one involving killing.

: I told youz lot that possesion thing iz just fancy spiky boy talk for waaagh!

: Oi wherez da rest of da boyz?

: Start the ritual!

: Oi wot iz happenin'! Me 'ead 'urtz!

: Now I control your body orc.

: Spiky 'umie Lord Keepah why'z you in me 'ead?

: I am possessing you orc.

: Get out 'o me 'ead Iz got killin' to do!

: This is going be a lot more unbearable than I though it would be....

: Why are we'z going dat way, I wanna go da other way!

: Shut up orc!

: Oi a big 'umie letz kill it!

: Iz need to find some more 'umies to kill.

: Hello? Ish anybody in there? Anyone that doeshn't want to kill me?

: BAD LUCK WORM!!!

: [screams of pain]

: Iz have a lot o' fun with you in me 'ead 'umie!

: Uh boss? Where iz you?

: Shaddap you sod! Iz doin' killin' dat only da biggest 'n' da strongest can do!

: Warlock! Daemon! Make yourselves useful and find a way to make these orcs stop talking!

: Smashy! Smashy!

: Youz one o' them big boyz again? Iz biggah than you!

: Daemon tell these slaves to get that artifact.

: Oi! Where youz gone spiky Lord Keepah? I wanna kill more o' dem 'humies.

: [sigh] Warlock begin the ritual....

Continued in next post...

 

[Hellraiser]

: Ish big hero! I kill that fly!

: Not any longer coward!

: Lord Keeper! The dungeon heart is under attack!

: WHAT?!!!!

: YOU WORMS ARE NO MUCH FOR THE TRUE POWER OF CHAOS!

: Lord Keeper, it seems that traps are killing your slaves that are trying to recover the artifact.

: Prepare the possession ritual... again. I will make the orc disarm those pathetic contraptions.

: 'ow Iz disarm dat trap Lord Keepah?

: Watch...

The orc walks into near the trap. A lightning arcs to his body sending a shock across it.

: Ooh dat ticklez!

: Soon you will reject your false gods and swear loyalty to the Dark Gods!

The giant screams in agony.

: I enjoy converting these worms. It is most... entertaining.

: Another artifact has been located Lord Keeper.

: Recover it and prepare the possession ritual! I need to smash another door.

: Iz showed dat stumpy boy who'z boss!

: Your treasury is dangerously low on gold Lord Keeper!

: BAH! Useless trinkets! Make the slaves to gather some Daemon!

: [booming voice] As You Wish Keeper.

: Foul Keeper! I Sir Roderick will end you in the name of Lady Catherine!

: We gonna help you Shir knight! Yesh we will!

: Just keep your distance, I don't think you ever bathed...

: Whatsh a bath shir?

: Datz a canned 'umie, can I kill it boss?

: Shaddup youz sodz! Boss Keepah sayz who we can kill.

: FOOLS! I WILL MAKE NEW WAR BANNERS OUT OF THE SKIN I SHALL RIP OFF FROM YOUR BODIES!

: Well we won't need while we ish I guess...

: I DIDN'T SAY I WILL KILL YOU BEFORE I DO THAT!

: I don't think I'll be in this heroing buishiness for long Shir knight.

: Silence peasant! ATTACK THIS BLASPHEMER!

: YOU CAN'T HIDE NOW EVIL ONE!

: I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THE SAME THING TO YOU WORM!

: Youz da best warboss I had Boss Keepah, alwayz lookin' for and findin' all kinds of sodz to kill.

: How charming... NOW KILL THIS WORM YOU PATHETIC ORC!

: Sure thing boss!

: Another skull to add to my collection... But first I think I will make use of the torture chamber.
Daemon order these slaves to retrieve the barely alive lord.

: [booming voice] It Shall Be Done Keeper.

: Lord Keeper I have some rather bad news...

: Speak warlock! I have a lord to torture.

: It seems the slave dragging the unconscious lord's body across the bridge dropped him into the lava lake by accident*...

: SEND HIM TO DIVE IN THE LAVA FOR THE LORD'S SKULL! IF HE LIVES SEND HIM TO THE TORTURE CHAMBER!

*this actually happened ingame, while the body was dragged by the imp it was placed on a lava tile and sunk. No amount of can describe how pissed off I was when it happened.

: [booming voice] The Slave Has Returned With The Skull Keeper. Unfortunately He Died Soon Afterwards.

SKULL COUNT:

= 5

: THE WORM GOT LUCKY!

: [booming voice] Another Thing Keeper. I Ordered The Slaves To Dig In Search Of Whatever Hole The Fool Facing You Is Hiding In.

: MY CITADEL IS NOT A HOLE YOU PATHETIC DAEMON!

: YOUR DEATH WILL BE LONG AND PAINFUL USURPER!

: Boss Keepah! I think dat spiky 'umie iz near. Iz can feel it in me gut!

: An orc thinking? How amusing.

: Iz told youz dat spiky 'umie is there!

: WAAAAGHHHHH!!!!!!

: Oi why did da fightin' end so fast?

: THAT WAS ONLY A TASTE OF MY POWER FOOL!

: YOU ONLY MANAGED TO WET MY APPETITE FOR YOUR BLOOD WORM!

: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

: Iz da biggest 'n' da strongest!

: NOOOOO!!!! THE DARK GODS HAVE ABANDONED ME!

: They were never on your side worm!

: Bring him to me...

: No! NO! I swear loyalty to you! You showed me you are a true champion of Chaos!

: Too late worm!

: GHAAAAAAAAAA[screams of pain]

Keeper tongues ripped out: 4

: Warlock! Improve this land and rename it as Panic Intrisica. Oh and pay a visit to this Lady Catherine.

: Yes Lord Keeper.

A few hours later on the surface...

: It is getting rather late, I wonder if Sir Roderick is alright...

A robed person approaches.

: Who might you be traveler?

: I am Rasputin. I am here to relay a message to you from Lord Keeper Hellraiser.

: You are one of them?! FUCKING TODD! I would castrate that motherfucker if I had the chance. But now all that awaits me is death at the hands of evil... How did that moron become king anyway?

: Perhaps you will have a chance Lady.

: You are not going to kill me?

: I have a better idea... WARPUS POTATUS HORRENDOUS!

A swirling cloud of warp energy engulfs the Lady...

: What is happening to me!

: Treat this as a reward from the Lord Keeper.

: [screeching voice] I am hideous! But I can also feel the power! Now I will find todd and get my revenge! [maniacal laughter]

Days later in Keeper Hellraiser's camp...

: You return warlock! How fares my new land?

: Panic Intrisica - A weeping, wizened crone presides over this ruined
empty land now. Once she was beautiful. Now she'd make you want to
vomit. The improvement is impressive.

: My unholy crusade brought improvement to so many places. This should please the Ruinous Powers immensely.

SCORES:

bah 3 points worse than the last one. I blame that fucking imp dropping that lord into the lava for this. Don't worry bros I will make a lot more "converts" in the updates to come.

 

[DwarvenFood]

Thank you for the update ! loved it.

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Lots of going on here I see

 

[Brotherman Bill]

You should torture one individual of each creature type at least once, I hear it makes the others of that type work 25 % faster.

 

[Jaedar]

I like this LP

 

[Hellraiser]

Update 7: Bloodbaths - the best solution to boredom.

After many days of marching Keeper Hellraiser's horde approaches yet another idyllic village...

: This settlement looks even more revolting than the last one...

: Tickle - Blissfully unaware of the damage protracted war can wreak on
their idyllic cluster of homesteads, the villagers of Tickle are pure
of heart, and unblemished of face and neck.

: Excruciating pain will be the least of their worries once I am done with conquering this land!

: [booming voice] The Slaves Are Ready To Start Digging Keeper.

: Make them dig until their backs break!

: [booming voice] Very Well Keeper.

: It seems that there is another Keeper in this area. He claims that you are an usurper
Lord Keeper and that he is a true champion of the Dark Gods.

: That fool will soon learn that death is the only thing that awaits those that dare to stand in my way!

: [booming voice] The Slaves Report Some Unusual Sounds Comming From Behind The Walls. I Would Tread Carefully Keeper, Champions Of Decline Might Be Near.

: If my minions were not so pathetically weak at this moment I would crush these champions in an instant.

: [booming voice] I Have Ordered The Slaves To Dig A Tunnel To The Eastern Gold Deposits.

: Lord Keeper it seems that the slaves found a lava lake.

: Find me enemies I can drown in it! I grow bored of this peace and quiet.

: Uh boss? Are ya sure dat spiky 'umie'z dungeon iz 'ere?

: Shaddap ya grot lovah! Iz da biggest so Iz da best navigatah! Iz know where'z we goin'!

: Hopefully these orcs will find something to kill. Torturing random slaves is starting to get boring.

: Lord Keeper! Your warlocks have finally uncovered the arcane knowledge of temple construction.

: YES! Now gather the necessary minions for the sacrifice! I want to summon that Great Daemon.

: There is a problem Lord Keeper, we have no bile deamons to sacrifice. That is no bile daemons other than Cleveland Mark Blakemore.

: [booming voice] Do Not Even Think About It Keeper.

: You have proven yourself useful Daemon. I will find another bile daemon to sacrifice. Now make the slaves build this new temple.

: [booming voice] As You Wish Keeper.

: Lord Keeper your scouts report that the enemy forces match your own in number.

: They are weak so even if there was a million of them they would drown in a pool of their own blood as I slaughtered each and every one of them!

: You think you are strong? The Ruinous Powers are on my side, only doom awaits you usurper!

: It is you who are the usurper worm! I WILL CRUSH YOU!

: These mistresses should prove themselves useful Lord Keeper.

: They have their uses, but they better not occupy the torture chamber when I want to torture my foes!

: Dig north! I want to slaughter those fools that are crawling around behind that wall!

: Da flyin' 'umies are too squishy! I'z need somethin' 'arda 'n' stronga to fight!

: Pathetic warlocks! They were unworthy of serving me. These fairies however will make fine torture subjects.

: As hideous as these creatures are they were still strong enough to kill some of my warlocks. I might find some use for them.

: [booming voice] Keeper The Slaves Have Dug Into A Chamber Filled With Giants.

: I will deal with them later.

: Lord Keeper another lake of lava has been discovered. by your gold mining slaves.

: And why is this important warlock?! STOP WASTING MY TIME WITH IRRELEVANT INFORMATION!

Continued in next post...

 

[Hellraiser]

: I grow bored! Warlock! START THE POSSESSION RITUAL! I will get rid of those giants.

: Let's see what this pathetic creature can do.

: Now I need to electrocute that usurper. Daemon! Order the slaves to imprison these giants. I need to do some torturing.

: Embrace Chaos worms!

: [booming voice] Some Scouts Have Located A Gem Deposit Keeper.

: Focus on finding the enemy. We need to conquer this realm and not gather shiny trinkets!

: Lord Keeper! Enemy slaves have been sighted!

: START THE RITUAL!

: I can hear them digging on the other side of this wall. Soon they will meet their doom!

: [booming voice] A New Treasury Has Been Built Keeper. This Will Make Mining These Gems More Efficient.

: This is your reward for trespassing worm!

: Lord Keeper a hound has joined your horde. This minion can swim through lava and is a rather good scout.
It can also chase down enemy slaves and kill them faster than other minions. Also an artifact has been located.

: An artifact? Make the slaves retrieve it at once!

: One of your hounds has scouted out the enemy dungeon Lord Keeper.

: Soon it will be mine!

: Such false hopes will lead you nowhere usurper! You are unworthy of the gifts of Chaos!

: It is time to slaughter this fool's army.

: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

: YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF KHORNE'S ATTENTION USURPER!

: SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

: Lord Keeper it might be a good idea to retreat and regroup.

: ONLY THE WEAK RUN FROM BATTLE!

: Lord Keeper almost all of your minions are dead!

: They were weak! I will prevail!

: You are as pathetic as were your minions! Soon your impaled corpse will decorate my throne room!

: The enemy is killing your slaves Lord Keeper!

: Send my minions to kill these fools!

: ATTACK WHILE ALL HIS MINIONS ARE DEAD! STRIKE AT HIS DUNGEON HEART!

: Soon I you will be a guest of honor at my torture chamber worm!

: This assault will not defeat me usurper!

: Time to join da fight!

: I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY YOU USURPER!

: Enjoy the last moments of your life fool!

: NOOOOOOOO!!!!

: Scream while you can worm!

: GHAAAAAAAAAAA[screams of pain]

Keeper tongues ripped out: 5

: Now about that artifact...

: Oi wotz 'appenin' to me?

: You will serve me in my next conquest orc! Warlock! Rename this land as Neverdorf and "improve" it!

Days pass...

: Neverdorf - Once a flourishing homestead, now it's a stinking hole in
the ground. It will be years before even the hardiest weed grows here
again. War on the other hand is in full blossom.

: It seems I have a talent for improving even the most disgusting of decline infested places.

SCORES:

An obvious compared to the lava drowning of the Lord fiasco of the previous mission. This was the first level I had to restart because I dug north too soon and the enemy keeper overran my dungeon with his minions.
As you could see it wasn't easy to defeat him. I lost almost all of my minions in a carnage worthy of Khorne's approval. Fortunately you will see more carnage and less tunnel digging in the updates to come.

 

[Hellraiser]

Update 8: ...and they have a plan.

Moonbrush Wood - A forest town with a welcoming population. Demons
and the legions of Hell could ride in, and would probably be offered
cheap lodgings and a night of good cheer in a warm cozy tavern.

The Keeper's horde is approaching Moonbrush Wood a vile place of total decline. However while the keeper expects yet another simple bloody
conquest things won't go as simple as he thinks. Surprisingly King Todd has a plan that isn't complete shit...

: Are the wizards here yet knight?

: They should arrive soon your majesty.

A group of cloaked men approaches...

: Ah finally! I have been waiting for you wise wizards of wizardigroth.

Uh king we not wizards.

: Oh... Then where are those wizards they said they would be here by noon and it's noon in one minute...

A bright flash of light blinds the king. In an instant the wizards appear.

: You majesty we have arrived to aid you in your fight against the great evil.

: Splendid! I need you to defend the ancient libraries of Moonbrush Wood, the horde is advancing in their direction.
We cannot let evil take the powerful artifacts stored there.

: Do no worry my king. We have a plan...

Meanwhile in Keeper Hellraiser's citadel...

: This lands better not be as easy to conquer as the last one. Warlock!
What can you tell me of the inhabitants of this land? Do they anything of warfare and combat?

: Moonbrush Wood - A forest town with a welcoming population. Demons
and the legions of Hell could ride in, and would probably be offered
cheap lodgings and a night of good cheer in a warm cozy tavern.

: I AM SICK OF THESE PASSIVE COWARDS THAT INHABIT THIS WORLD! THEY WILL BURN!

: [booming voice] Keeper, ITZ Coming.

: What is coming Daemon?

: [booming voice] Patience, Soon You Will Know.

: Cryptic nonsense! Order the slaves to start digging.

Hours pass. Many slaves break their backs and die under the burden of their hard labor. The dungeon heart is ready...

: Lord Keeper! I sense powerful magics at work!

: [booming voice] ITZ Coming!

: WHAT IS HAPPENING WARLOCK!?

: Foul Keeper! We have erected a magical barrier that trapped you in this forsaken pit. You will be imprisoned for all of eternity!

: I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY SOME PETTY TRICK OD YOURS WORM!

: Lord Keeper, I believe this wizard is bluffing. This barrier can only be held as long as any of the wizards that erected it is still alive.
If you kill all four of them the barrier will fall.

: I will end their pathetic lives and this "barrier" with them! :X

: [booming voice] The Slaves Have Finished Constructing The Necessary Chambers Keeper.

: Dig north and establish a guard post.

: Lord Keeper the slaves ordered to construct the guard post have encountered a door.

: A door? Can't they... Never mind I will do it myself. Get that orc here and start the possession ritual.

: Oi what ya need me for Boss Keepah?

: Hopefully for some killing.

: New minions... DAEMON! Can we use them for the ritual.

: [booming voice] Yes Keeper But They Are Too Weak. A Sacrifice Made Of Such Pathetic Minions Will Anger The Great Daemon.

: I would greatly enjoy seeing these wizards being slain by the Great Daemon. Bah!

: Lord Keeper do you remember when I told you there was a better use for corpses of the fallen than nourishment?

: Get to the point warlock!

: Your slaves now posses the knowledge necessary to construct graveyards. Slaves can drag and store corpses of the fallen there.
If enough corpses decompose in the graveyard a Vampire is born. It is an undead minion which when it is strong enough doesn't die but gets reborn at the graveyard. Slightly weaker perhaps but still very deadly.

: Now that is a true undead minion unlike those pathetic skeletons.

There will be more minion present in this update.

: Your warlocks have been bestowed by Nurgle with the knowledge of using the disease spell Lord Keeper.

: I have been truly blessed by the Dark Gods! Now none will stand before me!

: Your scouts have discovered new underground areas Lord Keeper.

: Prepare the possession ritual. I will scout them out personally.

: No enemies!

: Shtill no monshtersh. Maybe the horde is not coming?

: AH! Somethin' to kill! YOU! ORC! GET THOSE WORMS!

: Sure thing Boss Keepah!

: NOOOOO!!!

: Shaddap smelly 'umie!

: Da fightin' is over? I wanna kill some more 'umies.

: Splendid. Soon undead minions will strengthen my horde!

: Lord Keeper a deposit of gems has been found.

: I have better things to do than worry about mining shiny baubles! Prepare the possession ritual! I have a wizard to maim.

:

: Oi why I'z can't move?

: You may be biggah but I'z da strongest!

: It is time to "regroup" orc.

Totally underestimated that damn wizard. From this point on the easy part of the game is over and I'm not just talking about this level.

: A resurrection artifact has been located Lord Keeper.

: This vampire better not disappoint me.

: Warlock prepare the possession ritual, I need to scout a few more corridors.

: This artifact should prove useful.

: It is time to see what these undead are capable of.

: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

: FOR KING TODD WE KILL YOU!!!

: Oh good just wat I'z needed some 'umies to kill!

I had to retreat the vampire because of the monks you will see on the next screenshot. Those pious pricks can kill vampires which normally just lose a level and respawn back at their lair when they lose all HP.

: Them robed boyz are were too easy to kill. Oi Boss Keepah find me some stronger 'umies!

: HOW DARE YOU MAKE DEMANDS ORC! I AM YOUR LORD!

Continued in next post...

 

[Hellraiser]

Meanwhile in some of the unexplored corridors an imp is scouting out the area and claiming it.

: Seeing slaves die in such a gruesome way is most entertaining.

I wish I zoomed in more when the boulder crushed that imp.

: Warlock bring me a mistress and prepare the possession ritual.

: As you wish Lord Keeper.

: I have you now dark maiden!

:

: You cannot run from me dark one!

: I will return and impale you for your arrogance wizard!

: It is time to put an end to your crusade of evil Dark Lord!

: Fool! You think you can just walk into my citadel?

: Oi dat old bearded 'umie iz tough! Now this iz a nice and propah fight!

: ORC! You must bring him to me alive. I have plans for him.

: Uh sure thing Boss Keepah.

: You will join my crusade worm!

: I will never give up foul keeper!

: How did this worm get in here?! KILL HIM!

: You will pay for your trespass vampire!

: I will slay those that oppose you Lord Keeper.

: You made the right choice wizard.

: Lord Keeper some servants of decline are trying to attack your dungeon.

: Let them come! Only death awaits them in my citadel of darkness.

: Ah there is nothing quite like torturing those who you have just defeated.

: Fightin' for you iz da best Boss Keepah! I'z always 'ave new 'umies to kill.

: At least these weak fools give my orcs some entertainment.

: A guarded chamber? There might be something useful inside or just more useless trinkets.
Daemon order the slaves to tear down this library and replace it with a treasure room. That should make gathering those trinkets faster.

: [booming voice] It Will Be Done Keeper.

: It is so amusing to see these pathetic slaves kill themselves in stupid ways. However I need to have whatever is on the other side of that door. WARLOCK! THE RITUAL!

Yeah I know I could have used the bile demon to trigger those traps because he is immune to gas.

: Lord Keeper it seems that some of our strongest demon spawn have trained so hard that they have mutated into dragons.

: What how... CLEARLY THE RUINOUS POWERS HAVE TRULY BLESSED ME!

That is the imp slaying bonus level however in a truly dumbfuck moment I have failed to complete it so I will do that again in the future, I have a particularly unconventional solution to it that might work and be very entertaining at the same time. I also missed the earlier bonus level for some reason.

Oh I didn't want to bore you bros with more screenshots of trap triggering so I just skipped them.

: It is time to end the life of the remaining wizards!

: I will end your evil Keeper!

: Oh I you have not finished serving me wizard.

: Your doom approaches loyalist sorcerer!

: You cannot hope to imprison me Keeper!

: I do not plan on keeping you there long wizard.

: Torturing these fools is quite entertaining.

: You will join me as did your brethren.

: NO! NEVER!

: More of those fools? The orcs and dragons will take care of them.

: I will save you brave wizards! Together we will banish this evil.

: You skull will be a perfect addition to my collection worm!

: I think that I should torture you first before killing you.

: Wizards come here.

: Yes Lord keeper.

: Your services are no longer required.

: What do you mean Lord Keeper?

: Daemon! Throw them into the sacrificial pool.

: [booming voice] With Pleasure Keeper.

: Noooo!

: That should have taken care of taht barrier.

With the death of the wizards the magic barrier falls. The Keeper and his horde are trapped no more.

: It is good to see that you have joined my side Lord.

: The Dark Gods are the only true Gods Lord Keeper.

: DIE!

: What?! [screams of pain]

SKULL COUNT:

= 6

: Warlock rename this land as Grimsforth and send in the legions of hell.

: As you wish Lord Keeper.

Days pass...

: Grimsforth - The legions of Hell have been through here at your
bidding. They've altered the appearance of the place as you would
wish Master. Now we breath the heavy perfume of toxins wherever we
wander.

: Truly a sight to behold warlock!

SCORES:

I love minion . Post comments even if they are totally devoid of DISCUSS! value bros.

 

[Yeesh]

 

[lightbane]

Oh yes, Dragons, awesome creatures, they can research stuff like warlocks for some reason. By the way, did you know that you can feed the prisoners with chickens to "heal" them instead of wasting money using the Cure spell?
Also, if I recall correctly when you're trying to summon the Horned Devil your creatures' level don't matter, it's a matter of luck if he appears or not.

 

[Hellraiser]

Oh yes, Dragons, awesome creatures, they can research stuff like warlocks for some reason. By the way, did you know that you can feed the prisoners with chickens to "heal" them instead of wasting money using the Cure spell?
Also, if I recall correctly when you're trying to summon the Horned Devil your creatures' level don't matter, it's a matter of luck if he appears or not.

Yes I know dragons are great researchers, I used a high level transfered one to research stuff fast in some levels.

You can feed prisoners? Now that I did not now.

As for the Horned Reaper the level matters because the reaper that appears has a level equal to the average of the level of the troll, bile demon and mistress that you sacrifice. Horned Reapers gain levels ridiculously slow so it's simply faster to train the 3 minions individually to a high level than have the reaper train. That way you can actually use him as a guard or your primary assault minion rather than have him spend 90+% of the time in the training chamber.

 

[Brotherman Bill]

moment I have failed to complete it so I will do that again in the future, I have a particularly unconventional solution to it that might work and be very entertaining at the same time

In order to beat the bonus level you have to

Spoiler

Dig around until you find a horned reaper, then beat him until he goes ballistic. He will attack your dungeon heart and all your imps will run back and defend it. Lean back and watch them die by the dozens.

It is more entertaining to find the solution by yourself though; so don't read the spoiler unless you really need it.

 

[DwarvenFood]

Read the update and enjoyed it. Can't wait for more. You coming to the more interesting levels now.

 

[Hellraiser]

Update 9: Join us, come with us.

The Keeper's horde approaches the settlement of Nevergrim. A most vile place filled to the brim with happiness and joy.
However it is not the appalling cheerfulness of the denizens of this land that will prove to be the Keeper's biggest problem...

: Warlock what can you tell me of this Nevergrim?

: Nevergrim - Unable to see the bad side of anyone, these folk could
benefit from a swinging sword to the back of the neck, or possibly a
lightning spell in the throat. Such possibilities never cross their
happy minds.

: Another wretched pit full of decline.

: Your scouts reported that a Keeper has already claimed this land as his own Lord Keeper.

: He will be crushed!

: [booming voice] Keeper The Layout Of This Area Is Almost Symmetrical.
Both Your And The Enemy's Dungeon Are Located On Islands Of Roughly Similar Size And Shape With Large Gold Deposits. However Between Your Two Islands There Is A Smaller
Island With Gold Deposits. If You Manage To Seize It Before Your Opponent Your Victory Will Be Made Certain.

: That bit of advice might prove useful Daemon.
Order the slaves to start constructing all the necessary chambers.

: [booming voice] As You Wish Keeper.

I forgot to take a screenshot of the map but as mentioned above by CLEVE this map is basically a giant lake of lava with 2 big islands where both keepers are and a
smaller middle one with gold plus a few smaller islands on the edges of the lakes with some artifacts hidden but nothing else.

At this moment I noticed a truly dumbfuck mistake. Now the key to winning this map is to dry the enemy's economy by claiming the middle gold island
before he does. Because the AI as soon as it digs out its home island and middle island gold deposits goes for the ones nearest to it which are the southern
gold deposits on the player's island. Instead of mining those southern ones ASAP I started with the northern ones. I noticed my mistake later in this level and corrected it.

: Ah yes Dragons. These magnificent beasts should prove useful.

The Keeper hears a quiet whisper as if coming from the back of the inside of his skull. It keeps saying "join us come with us join us come with us".

: What is this sorcery?

: [booming voice] Your Slaves Have Claimed A Scavenger Room.

The whispers become louder.

: Daemon what is this noise!

: Actually Lord Keeper I believe it is the scavenger room that is saying "join us come with us".

: What do you mean warlock?

: The scavenger room lures enemy minions to join your cause by subtle psychic whispering.
Minions using this room will lure more of their kind to join your cause.

: That sounds useful however I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THESE WHISPERS!

: [booming voice] The Slaves Have Begun Mining The Southern Gold Deposits. Once They Will Be Able To Build Bridges They Will Start To Mine The Middle Island.

: Good, proceed as planned.

: Lord Keeper one of your hounds has scouted out the enemy dungeon.

So far I have only dragons and hounds, too many hounds I might add. This is because hounds either use the scavenger room or roam when you don't give them any tasks.
Since my hounds scavenged they attracted more hounds which aren't really that good for anything other than scouting and chasing down enemy imps.

Another hound charges into the enemy dungeon. Babysitting these minions is annoying.

: Your slaves are finally able to build bridges Lord Keeper.

: Excellent! Claim the middle island.

: The enemy had built a bridge and started claiming your island Lord Keeper!

: WHAT?!

: Soon I will have your head on a pike usurper!

: This fool will never claim my dungeon. NEVER!

: [booming voice] The Slaves Have Claimed The Enemy Bridge And Decontructed Parts Of It.
This Should Slow Down Any Future Capture Attempts And Make it Easier To Claim Back The Bridge Should It Be Captured By The Enemy.

: [booming voice] Keeper The Mining Operation Is Proceeding As Planned. Your Slaves Have Already Mined Half Of The Gold.

: Excellent.

: An artifact that increases the power of your minions has been located Lord Keeper.

: Order the slaves to construct a bridge which will allow them to retrieve this artifact.

So far so good. I have 2 more minions than him and more rooms not to mention a surplus of gold.

His minions have low levels. I guess he doesn't have enough gold to train them

: Da boyz are back Boss Keepah!

: [booming voice] The Mining Operation Has Been Finished Keeper.

: Order the slaves to mine the remaining gold deposits on our main island. Soon I will maim that fool.

: The only thing that awaits you in the near future usurper is oblivion!

: Your threats would be intimidating if you had the strength to back them up worm.

Remember what I said about his gold reserves?

Still got plenty of gold left unmined on my island...

..and stored in my treasury .

: It is time to end this fool's pathetic existence.

: Come! I will pierce your skull with my blade usurper!

: Your pathetic life is nearing its end worm!

: I WILL PREVAIL USURPER!

: FUCKING ENEMY IMPS!

: Die! Die! DIEEEE!!!!

: PREPARE TO DIE WORM!

: I WILL NOT BE CRUSHED BY YOU OR ANY OTHER USURPER!

Well aren't they a bunch of hungry little buggers.

: DIE!

: NOOOOOO!!!! GHAAAAAA... [screams of pain]

Keeper tongues ripped out: 6

: Now there is one more thing I must to do before I march out with my horde...

Yeah so maybe the islands weren't exactly symmetrical.

: That fool managed to recover one of the artifacts? How amusing.

: Yes, this mighty beast should prove most useful in my next great conquest.
WARLOCK! Rename this land as Rivalmark and burn it to the ground!

: Yes Lord Keeper.

Days pass...

: Rivalmark - A Kingdom fit for a Dungeon Keeper of your standards,
Sire. The Blackened Hulks of the houses welcome you, and the
overgrounders prostrate themselves, Mainly because we've killed
them...

: One could not ask the Dark Gods for a better reward for his victory than the complete slaughter of the conquered people.

SCORES:

The has spread both to the score screen and to the conquered land. I have some stuff to do so the next update will be posted at least a week from now bros.
It could take longer though. But IIRC the next level is the one with a fuckton of hero assaults. It's one of the more entertaining and challenging levels.

May the Bro be with you Bros as you Bro in your Bro.

 

[Mrowak]

to you bro and your good almighty Lord Keeper. May the era of he's bringing last forever.

 

[Rabidredneck]

Sally forth Evil One, and wreck the shit of those who oppose you!

 

[DwarvenFood]

Again a lovely read. Keep it up!

 

[Rabidredneck]

We need moar CHAOS!

 

[Hellraiser]

MOAR CHAOS will arrive by the end of the weekend. I didn't have much time to write an update between studying for popamole exams and work. Fortunately the last popamole exam is today.

 

[Hellraiser]

Bumping to next page, update coming within 10 minutes.

 

[Hellraiser]

Update 10: Trapped in a...

After his wizards have been sacrificed to the dark gods, king todd has gathered his army near the settlement of Hearth.
Here he plans yet another assault aimed at defeating Keeper Hellraiser's Unholy Crusade.

: Men! As you all know the evil one has defeated the wisest of our wizards.
Thus we can no longer rely on such petty tricks if we are to defeat this evil.

: What shall we do then my king?

: I shall send you, the best and brightest of my knights, to charge blindly into the underground lair of evil where this evil Keeper dwells.

: But what about using battle formations, tactics and other things the great book of strategy teaches us my Sovereign?

: You, my knights, are the champions of good. That alone gives you an overwhelming advantage when facing the minions of evil. There is no
need for strategic or tactical thought. All you need to do is charge blindly into a dark, cramped and no doubt trapped corridor and swing your swords at any moving thing that you see.

: [whispering] We are so screwed...

Days later in the underground corridors of Keeper Hellraiser's citadel in Hearth...

: Warlock! My citadel is nearing completion. Tell me of the fools that inhabit this land.

: Hearth - Family life is the reason these serfs feel so confident and
cheerful. Their unruffled existence would make even a terror dog
throw up it's breakfast of half-chewed champions.

: I will maim, burn and kill everything in this land!

: Lord Keeper! Your scouts have just arrived. They report that
champions of "justice" are besieging your dungeon! Your forces are trapped here unless you defeat them all!

:

As you can see this time I start with most of my chambers already built. This is good because there won't be much time to build stuff before loot hungry suicidal heroes
start storming the dungeon.

: This Dragon's arcane knowledge will prove useful.

Less than 30 seconds later the level 8 Dragon transfered from the previous level already researched a spell, at its best.

: We'z ready for a fight!

This Bile Demon could use some exercise.

: The first wave of enemy heroes have been sighted Lord Keeper! They walked straight into your gas traps.

: Excellent.

How fucking stupid does one have to be to start the assault by attacking the training chamber where both the most and the strongest of my minions are?

Those heroes have some deep pockets.

: Hello? Ish anybody in there behind that door?

: More enemy heroes approach from the north Lord Keeper!

: Send the dragon at them and start the possession ritual!

: HELP ME I'M BURNING!

More heroes...

: BURN WORM!

: [maniacal laughter] HAHAHAAHAHA!

: [booming voice] How Amusing. They Keep Coming Like Moths To A Flame.

: Fightin' 'n' lillin' now dat's propah entertainment for da boyz!

More dragons

: Reveal yourself foul keeper!

: Come fools! Your deaths will be slow and painful!

: I'm melting!

How the hell did they get that close to the dungeon heart?!

: Dat big 'umie iz mine!

: Uh ok boss.

:

Continued in next post....