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Let's Smite Some Ragheads as the Knights of Rhodes!

Kingcomrade?

  • Aztecs

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Cuzco (Incas)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Japanese Fiefdom

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Denmark

    Votes: 1 25.0%
  • Knights of Rhodes

    Votes: 1 25.0%
  • Castille

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Georgia

    Votes: 2 50.0%
  • Italian City-State/Principality

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • German HRE-State

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • North African/Arabian Ragheads

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    4

Gondolin

Arcane
Joined
Oct 6, 2007
Messages
5,827
Location
Purveyor of fine art
Qah said:
I call sheer atrocious bullshit on the fact that The Entirity of Europe, India, and Niggerland hasn't attacked you en masse yet with your high infamy rate.

I played a game as Castille in which France managed to reach an awesome 80 infamy points by conquering a large part of Western and Central Europe. I was already rubbing my hands in anticipation of a massive attack by all European countries, thinking I would get southern France for myself. The attack never came. (This was in HTTT, not MM.)
 

Vaarna_Aarne

Notorious Internet Vandal
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
34,585
Location
Cell S-004
MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
Austria-Redux.jpg


The year of our Lord 1812. The house of von Habsburg has ruled the Holy Roman Empire uninterrupted for centuries. The von Habsburg's of France were overthrown by a vile pretender, Louis Bercy, and the throne was never reclaimed. The pretender who seized the throne of Prussia from the von Hohenzollern's was assassinated and a von Habsburg placed on the throne, so the honour of the house is largely unaffected. The von Habsburgs rule Cyprus, Luxembourg, Prussia, Cologne and Austria, with only their closest allies the house Rurikovitch having similar influence in the West. The Middle-East is dominated by the Genghisid dynasty ever since a Genghisid prince rose to the throne of the Ottoman Empire.

The von Habsburg support for the Protestant Reformation and religious tolerance in the Empire lead to a complete reform of the Catholic Church and the return of the moderate Protestants to the mother church (it's pretty ridiculous that there are no actual ingame effects for a reformation in the Catholic church beyond people coming back).

The von Habsburgs of Austria have established themselves as the Emperors of Austria and kings of Swabia, Lombardia, Bohemia, and Hungary. The Czech and Slovak lands have been fully integrated and Austrians are the new dominant population there. The same happened in Romanian lands under Austrian rule, with Wallachia becoming a fully Austrian state in the empire. Krakow, Ruthenia and Carpathia have also become Austrian thanks to Settlement Policies.

A revolution in Netherlands caused it to leave the Empire. Revolution in Austria was crushed.

Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth was partitioned between the empires of Austria and Russia, with only the heart of Congress Poland and Lithuania remaining in their grasp. The westernmost provinces of Poland were seized by Saxony and added to the Imperial lands.

During the reign of the current Emperor, Leopold VIII, Austria has had two wars with the Ottomans. One an Imperial Crusade against the Turk, and another a war in support of the Georgian allies against the vile Ak Kounly. The Turk was thrown out of Europe and Islamic foothold in Europe largely pushed out. The von Habsburg emperor, in His sublime mercy and enlightened rule, liberated many lands in the Middle-East, including Shirvan and Iraq, and later on sold Shirvan more of their ancestral lands, force the Qara Shah to renounce all his claims on non-Ottoman soil, and returned Georgia all the Georgian lands and gifted them Dagestan in recognition of their bravery.

In North America, the revolutions of the colonies remained largely unsuccesful. The United States of America under its king failed to win its claimed lands from the French and the British, the Empire of California was pulled back into Spain, and Louisiana is but a small, irrelevant state after losing the revolutionary war against the British and the French. The Central American Federation is the greatest power in the Americas, with its only local challenger being the puny Empire of Mexico under its Sapa Inka Rodrigo I Gonzalez. However, many revolutions were succesful in South America, with the Empire of Chile ruled by another Sapa Inka being the largest power among them.

EDIT: Next, I'm gonna reinstall so I can try Divine Wind, since the trailer looked awesome and it probably has less bullshit than MMU.
 

Vaarna_Aarne

Notorious Internet Vandal
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
34,585
Location
Cell S-004
MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
Yes, that's a unified Japan.

I was thinking about starting colonies once I got two naval ideas (seriously, the modifier you get for not having two of them is a load of bullshit), but I decided to fuck it, since there's not enough men to go around if you want to have a powerful army in Europe.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
935
Location
The President of France
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Finally, praise the Lord, the rebellion of the past few years is at an end. Rebellion is once more confined to small, isolated and unsuccessful nationalist revolts in the more far outwards provinces. The Grandmaster uses this to expand the army. I'm well above my forcelimits at this point, but my monthly income is so huge that I'm not minting that much to keep my income up.

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The Order continues to make converts both willing and forced. Catholicism is spread deeper into the Middle East. Wherever the divine influence of Roma goes, rebellion ceases almost entirely (I'm assuming that the Muslims minorities would have a much larger part in the revolts than Catholics). You'd think the Pope wouldn't hate me so much after I've done so much to extend the influence of the Church.

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Much of Azerbaijan has been converted, and many Catholic communities are springing up in Mesopotamia and Persia.

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A new colony is founded in Ethiopia. The new Ethiopian colonial army is sent to make sure the local niggers don't try anything.

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The nomads of Yemen attempt another revolt, but now that good order has been restored throughout the Empire they are no longer a threat of any notable significance whatsoever.

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This happened because the Muslim population and the Catholic population in Dagestan dropped below the Orthodox population, so the religion shifted to Orthodoxy. I chose the option to give me religious intolerance. Shutting it down would have given me a slightly larger minority in one province, while the religious intolerance option boost missionary chance across the Empire.

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Not sure what they want exactly. Maybe they need a Red Sea port.

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The niggers try to attack the colonial army as it marches into the colony. They attacked us, but of course in a few centuries everyone is going to feel really bad about the whole incident.

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Arab nomads try to revolt again. The problem i have with this is that it auto-occupies the province. The problem with that is that it can potentially give me the minor blockade modifier, because of how blockades work.

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Figures that the very very small is more deadly to my colonists than the huge hulking Negroids.

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The new glorious campaigning army, after the recent military expansion, now numbers a mighty 50,000 men. Easily enough to smash through any Muslim defense, and a force to be reckoned with even against the formidable Austrian and Russian armies.

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The Grandmaster decides to take this army out for a spin against the Iranian scum. With the new army it should simply be a matter of marching through their lands and cracking each fort one by one. Their allies will be strategically troublesome, but they have no hope in a direct battle.

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Cry some more.

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Their capital is occupied at a negligible cost in manpower. The few that died will go to the Lord, and thousands more heathens will burn in hell for each Catholic.

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One of the local provincial armies marches against a slightly smaller force of Uzbek tribal soldiers.

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Suck it, Muhammad.

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Catholic soldiers have superior potassium.

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The Khorasani army attempts to flee from the campaigning army upon sighting it. To catch up with them, the Grandmaster leaves the artillery behind so his troops can march without delay.

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The mixed Turkic and Persian army is caught marching into Hormuz and decimated. (You will notice in most of these battles that the artillery keeps saving armies from complete routs even after all the infantry and cavalry is slaughtered.)

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The remains of the Khorasani army is destroyed. Most of the richest land of the Khorasani Khan is occupied.

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Another army is encountered in central Khorasan. They attempt to resist, but the sheer overwhelming superiority both numerical and qualitative of the Order army shatters their force asunder.

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Cats? Cats are the pets of Satan!

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I like how the abolition of slavery act is almost entirely negative, and is pretty horrible economically. I don't know why but i find it amusing.

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Eventually the Khorasani capital is occupied, and the Khan is captured. They are forced to relinquish a large stretch of land, including an extremely wealthy Persian Gulf city along the Straits of Hormuz.

eu3game2011-01-0417-23-09-80.jpg


I'd say we've made up for the loss in Arabia quite nicely.
 

LusciousPear

Savant
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
722
Location
SF
MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Shadorwun: Hong Kong
I was very much looking forward to all of Europe attacking you...but this is fun, as well.
 

Nex

Cipher
Joined
Apr 26, 2009
Messages
1,343
Location
Tenebrae
Furious Flaming Faggot said:
Oho, wow. I'm surprised at how important sheer mass of infantry is in the late game. Updatan

Incidentally, how the fuck can Austria afford about 30% more cavalry than infantry?

Magnets
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
935
Location
The President of France
eu3game2011-01-0520-44-27-50.jpg

The cultural identity of the Greek peoples in the Ethiopian colonies begins to shift away from that of their Greek homeland, after long periods of contact with Arabs and native Africans. Personally i think Hellene sounds much cooler than Greek, so I'm okay with this.

eu3game2011-01-0520-45-29-04.jpg


Now that the truce has worn off, the Grandmaster is eager to remove the last bastion of Yemeni independence on the mainland of Arabia. If possible the island of Socotra will also be annexed. It is not very wealthy, but it would make a good naval base for an invasion of India.

eu3game2011-01-0520-46-27-62.jpg


The Yemeni capital is occupied almost immediately. The Arab garrison army is split into two, with the second smaller half shipped off to besiege Socotra.

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I'd like to note that the urban population of Rhodes at game start was something like 2000. Now it is 30,000, even after this event.

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You'd think taking 10 casualties for every 1 you kill would be pretty bad for the morale of your army.

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!

Well, fuck. I guess this was inevitable though. I'm going to have to hold them off until the campaigning army can arrive from Arabia. If i can prevent them from doing any significant damage before then, i can turn the tables on them and overwhelm them through my high discipline and sheer mass. They have superior morale and technology, so equal battle is best avoided.

eu3game2011-01-0520-52-48-15.jpg


Prizren is scorched to sap the Austrian strength while the Greek army awaits reinforcements.

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Thankfully the Austrians have a pathetic fleet, with no naval ideas. I can be assured dominance of the seas so long as their Dutch allies haven't built up a massive doomfleet yet. The war will hopefully remain on one front, so long as the Russians don't get any funny ideas. A declaration of war by any Muslim power is negligible and can be dealt with by provincial armies. Russia is also somewhat backwards, but they are obviously still a threat.

eu3game2011-01-0520-53-18-57.jpg


The Austrian Protestant scum are placed under a full blockade. This will put pressure on them economically, but it will not impede their ability to make war so long as their army is still in the field.

eu3game2011-01-0520-55-30-64.jpg


The Croatians are crushed and put out of the war immediately, but i cannot annex them because they are an Austrian vassal state.

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A two pronged attack is launched against the weary, hungry Austrian army. Besides the problem with flanking attacks being useless except for avoiding long waits while your armies join up, you'd think after losing many thousands of soldiers to attrition troop morale would be quite low.

eu3game2011-01-0520-58-15-62.jpg


Can you say, derp?

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Check out my land forcelimits. That happened because Austria managed an army infiltration against me. This shit is painful, bro.

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Finally the campaigning army arrives near the capital. The Austrian army is still formidable, but their numbers have been decimated by the earlier flanking attack. Their forces are divided, and the battle in Prizren halted their momentum. Now they have completely lost the initiative, and with it any hope of victory.

eu3game2011-01-0521-03-49-22.jpg


I must inquire as to how one supports a 2:1 cavalry ratio with a settled agriculture based country and no large access to warhorses.

eu3game2011-01-0521-04-16-82.jpg


Ah well, they're all dead anyways. To be honest I'm pretty sad about all the dead horses. They didn't do anything to anybody.

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Despite the exhaustion of his march-weary troops, the Grandmaster urges them to a final effort. Plovdiv is occupied, affording the army some well deserved rest before the campaigning begins again.

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The Grandmaster then marches along the border to dislodge a mixed force of Austrian allies, mostly Bavarian.

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Once again, why so much cavalry? They might as well fire the poor horses out of cannons for all the good it would do.

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The manhood of Protestantism has confronted the manhood of Catholicism. It has been found wanting in both size and ability. I didn't expect a war with Austria to be so simple and easy. I guess that's what happens when you control the largest Empire on the planet.

eu3game2011-01-0521-07-40-15.jpg


The Croatian capital is quickly occupied to prevent them from supporting the Archduke.

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Another large Austrian army is spotted marching across the border into Zeta. This is presumably all that is left of the Austrian army, so the Grandmaster feels he must ensure its complete destruction. Triumph is rarely associated with delay, but the Grandmaster decides to allow his troops to rest in Ragusa before marching on the Austrians.

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With spirits high and the men well rested, a crushing victory is won along the border. This war has been taking a toll on the Empire, but a far greater one on Austria to be sure.

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The final remains of the Austrian army are routed just across the border. Now it is simply a matter of smashing through Austrian fortifications one after the other, all the way to Vienna.

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The Austrians are at the forefront of weapons technology in Europe, but even their mightiest of fortifications cannot stand against the mass, discipline, ferocity and zealousness of the Order army.

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There's nothing more satisfying than watching Austria burn. I didn't manage to drive their WE up to 18 single handedly though, it was at 10 when they started the war.

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After a short period of reinforcement, the Grandmaster continues his relentless blitz through the Balkans. The cost in life is great, but the courage and determination of the soldiery doesn't falter for even a moment. :salute:

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Meanwhile, a look at the conversion effort in Persia.

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The Grandmaster orders the second army (the Greek army with some reinforcements from Tunisia) to occupy the Archduke's Transylvanian allies.

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Don't start shit you can't finish. Wars begin when you will but do not end when you please.

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After many months of brutal campaigning almost all of the Austrian Balkans are occupied. The Grandmaster decides to wait for reinforcements, rather than marching on to Wien with his exhausted and bloodied veterans.

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Unfortunately the Grandmaster passes away just as the campaign is about to restart. With the support of the main army, the Grandmaster's most prominent general is made the new Grandmaster. He succeeds to office with little dissent. The war continues with only a short delay.

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Reinforced to over 41,000 men, the new Grandmaster marches at the head of his army into the heartland of the Hapsburg.

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The Grandmaster violently barges his way through all resistance right to the gates of Vienna. The small heretic army surrenders without much of a fight. A testament to the faith of these Protestants.

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Ah well. Money isn't much of an issue at this point anyways because i no longer need to care about keeping inflation down or technology.

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The great heretic city of Vienna is occupied. Even after the slaughter of many Protestants, the Grandmaster admits grudging admiration for the splendor of the city.

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The war is finally drawn to a triumphant conclusion. The Archduke is made to concede most of his Balkan territory, along with a monetary concession to help pay for the expense of the war. Now the Grandmaster can cement his power while the provinces recover from the strains of war. After that, the Order will resume its natural state of constant crusade.

eu3game2011-01-0521-31-57-64.jpg


Don't fuck with the purple, or the purple will fuck you. :smug:
 

Calem Ravenna

Scholar
Joined
Jan 17, 2010
Messages
192
About time you put those heretics back in their place :salute:. Now make the Black Sea your mare nostrum.


Destroid said:
Are you playing MMU Calem? Poland is almost always a good size in all the game I've played, and only gets nibbled over time by Russia mainly, but sometimes Bohemia or the Turk.

Somehow, I completely missed this. Yes, I play MMU. Poland always collapses after inheriting Lithuania and gets eaten up by Bohemia and teutonic Order. Sometimes Russia too, but Russia usually stops after getting its cores.
 

Vaarna_Aarne

Notorious Internet Vandal
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
34,585
Location
Cell S-004
MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
On a certain level, it would have been wise to set up a barrier of released states between you and Austria. But with less than 25 years left, it doesn't matter.
 

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