ALIEN BASE
Oh, come on! What's a little mass-murdering alien invasion among friends? These people are more whiny than Sill!
Some good news: Light Plasma Rifle researched. We'll never build these weapons, but it opens up research into the Plasma Rifle, the basic end-game weapon.
Meanwhile, we tase a UFO pilot, which mysteriously transforms into a crystal of some kind.
Is that all that's left of the specimen we attempted to capture?
Yes. I believe we may have found the source of the strange readings we picked up when we first encountered it.
We're not exactly sure. It's organic in nature yet highly magnetized. And it appears to resonate, very faintly, within a specific electromagnetic spectrum. It is currently unclear how or--
Perhaps... that's because this is outside of your field of expertise, Doctor. If what you're saying is true, this object is an antenna, one that's receiving a signal.
That signal... can we trace it?
No. At least not yet. We would first need to determine its encryption algorithim.
My team can handle that.
In that case, I will focus on constructing an interface between this object and our global communications array, which we'll need to trace the signal.
Then it looks like researching this... "crystal" should be our top priority.
The last rank of the Assault skill tree offers the definitive skill of the class: immunity to critical hits. Considering that a single critical hit can do more health than most characters have, this is a big deal.
Like Bradford said, this is our top priority. We need to find the Alien Base before X-COM gets shutdown by a panic-ridden council.
A few days later...
Buffering. Buffering. Buffering...
Motherfucker! I knew that link in Skype from HotRussianSk8er16 was malware.
There you are... Tactical, do we have an eagle over these coordinates?
Bradford's "listening to worthless subordinates" face is perfect.
No, that's impossible. I know it's there.
Maybe it's hidden by the spell of a vile magician?!
Hidden... that gives me an idea. Switch to thermal.
Think of what we might find once we get inside that facility. Imagine what they might be doing down there...
Listening to old Kenny G records? I wouldn't put it past them. Their evil is truly unspeakable.
I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.
I thought you'd never ask...
Time to cowboy up, gents.
The methods involved in creating these "crystals"... an organic machine capable of complex communications. We could spend years studying this technology.
Sure, we could. We could also spend years researching a new shape for potato chips. It's been DECADES. Why must we still labor under the tyranny of a round paradigm? FREE THE SALTY CRISPS! SHIFT YOUR MIND! Get to work on that, Doc.
The Skeleton Key is produced instantly.
So, the Alien Base is in the middle of the ocean. You might say it's a... Terror from the Deep!
Meet the A-Team.
Thanks to Dr. Vahlen's research, and some clever developments down in Engineering, this "Skeleton Key" should allow you to breach the alien compound. We've only got one chance to make this work though, so let's make sure we do it right.
Men, when you see an alien, pretend it is a beautiful, sobbing young girl. SHE MUST BE ASSAULTED! This is your mission.
God only knows what they're doing to these people. All the more reason to blow them to hell. Get moving.
Thanks, Grandma! We're moving, we're moving... sheesh.
So far we don't have visual confirmation on the hostiles. I wouldn't get too comfortable though, we're expecting heavy resistance. They're probably moving into position as we speak.
Or maybe they've already fled before our mighty army! I am here, after all. That would be the smart thing to do. Run and hide, gray-skinned nancies!
Noise to the northwest.
Drones! These are robotic medics, who usually support the Cyberdisc, a fearsome mechanical enemy. Today, it looks like they're alone.
On their own, they're not very threatening, and we take them out quickly.
Hah! The aliens have mistaken us for cows, and sent Rectal Probing Bots after us! They will regret this tactical error.
I... don't think that is the purpose of those robots, Commander.
True. Rectal Probing Bots would be much more dangerous enemies.
Floaters! Ulminati gets a reaction shot.
Floater Alpha down.
A miss blows up a crate of fissile alien material behind the floaters.
Come on, TNO!
That's a thing of beauty.
More floaters.
Eeeeugh. This place's got more floaters than the barracks bathroom after BlitzKitchen gets done with it.
Feeling the pressure, Tigranes misses the shot.
Those are some truly... Awesome odds. 
I'll be here all night, folks.
We move up into the next room. One floater jetted away into the darkness, so we're leery.
Something out there...
What could they possibly be storing in those tanks?
Powerade? It's got electrolytes! Did you know that's what plants crave? Electrolytes?
The floater's back.
And decides to spend his turn jetting around uselessly. Perhaps this is the alien version of panicking.
Cya!
What in God's name are we looking at?
I didn't want to believe it... but it's clear the aliens have been experimenting on the abductees... what could they be hoping to accomplish through this?
What were you expecting? You don't abduct someone to feed them vanilla soft-serve, and it's not like we got a ransom note. Your logic is about as shoddy as your blowjob technique. I'm only surprised they're not making party favors out of human livers, with how many people they've been taking.
Textbook overwatch farm.
Textbook Chrysallid ambush!
Oh, Bee! Her honey brings all the insectoids to the yard.
Some sectoids, too.
Ulminati using his scope on a target from ten feet away. Majestic.
Double Tap is a sniper perk that lets Ulminati shoot twice on the same turn if he doesn't move. It has a 1-turn cooldown.
Chrysallids are down, and Bee's safe. Now, for that sectoid...
Another Chrysallid, hiding in the back.
Advancing into rearmost quadrant of enemy HQ, Central. Resistance relatively light so far.
A plasma blast comes through the wall from an enemy we can't see. This freaks me out a little.
Turns out it was the last sectoid.
Before advancing, we lightly perfume apply medikits to the injuried.
Contacts ahead. Stay frosty, men.
Drones. Not much for a so-called Alien Base--
I retract my previous statement.
DEPLOY FUCKING EXPLOSIVES NOW!
... (Tears of joy running down his face.)
Awesome takes a shot...
...and nails it. One drone left.
Let's unpack that sniper rifle to deal 1 damage, shall we?
You may sneer, but every little kill counts when you're talking shop with fellow snipers. "Oh, you've only killed 250 marks? I'm at 310."
One little Chrysallid showed up to the party late...
...but we're always handing out free Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation! As an aside, you know it's going to hurt when the gun barrel is actually inside of your head.
Thin Men! Like the worms they are, they run away.
The Retinal Implant wins out again!
The Sectoid Commander.
That alien is clearly different from the others... it's wielding a power unlike anything we've previously encountered. It almost looks like a larger version of the sectoid, but what is that energy?
Sectoid Commander, meet Ulminati.
Double Tap brings us the kill.
Hah! Doesn't seem so dangerous to me. Just another midget with delusions of grandeur.
With the Sectoid Commander down, Ulminati throws a battle scanner to locate the last aliens.
It feels like we're finally turning the tide. Now that we've captured their device, the aliens are running out of secrets.
It's imperative that we begin the research as soon as possible.
Now that we've captured this device, we should probably be expecting the aliens to pursue us more... aggressively. I doubt losing it was part of their plan.
You might say we've given them an unwanted pregnancy!
Roger that, Voodoo Three-One. See you inside. Central out.
Don't you think a victory celebration is a bit premature at this juncture?
We just NEUTRALIZED their central command. We've got no other alerts on the entire system, AND we took out their leader. In my book, that's a win, Doctor.
A little later, in the labs...
Commander, I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who understands this war isn't over yet. The existence of this artifact, which we believe to be a communication device of some kind, begs the question--if the Sectoid Commander was the alien leader, then who, or what, was it communicating with? I believe this is indeed the same creature we encountered when we made first contact with the aliens. As we have observed, it is somehow capable of using its mind as a weapon. If we were to study this specimen's brain tissue, perhaps we might be able to adapt this ability for own purposes.
Like telekinetically lifting short skirts! Yes! A brilliant plan, Doc.
Our next objective. Since this will bring us close to the end-game, we'll delay chasing it for the moment. Previously, the aliens used the Hyperwave relay in the Alien Base to communicate and pilot all their UFOs. The "pilots" (Outsiders) we saw in alien spacecraft were really just sophisticated, human-shaped drones. Now that we took their communication toy, Sectoid Commanders will start showing up in every UFO, since they have to pilot the ships directly.
Just what we needed! Panic reduced worldwide by our daring raid on the alien base. We won't lose any countries from the project this month.
The current situation.
Turns out the aliens were keeping geneslurry in those barrels, not powerade. Unlike in the original X-COM, you can't research these flavor items. They're purely for selling.
I know, I know. What use could the French possibly have for weapons? But they offered a good price, so we made some scatter lasers Just For Them!
The month ends on a positive note. It looks like we might finally be seizing the advantage in the war against the extraterrestrials.
Normally, dissecting the Sectoid Commander would give us access to the Psi Labs, and psionics in general. But a Second Wave option requires us to capture a psionics alien (i.e Sectoid Commander) alive, so for now we just get some exposition. Oh, well.
This is an extremely dangerous species, Commander. Although not physically intimidating, the 'psionic' power that this creature wields is perhaps the greatest threat we've encountered so far.
You keep saying that, but it died the same as the other sectoids.
This unit appears to be a "Drone", which is similar to the military drones we are familiar with. This particular example seems to have the ability to repair damaged equipment. Dr. Shen and I believe it should be possible to capture and repurpose these for our own use in the field.
Hey, it's a scout! The smallest ship size. This'll be a quick and easy mission.
Here's a video of what happens next:
I didn't have any screenshots of this mission, so thought I'd just have to describe this from memory, but then I realized I had some video clips of it. Normally I prefer the flavor and character of a screenshot-with-text-LP, but this will be a one-time exception because it's just too hilarious to see this in action. Enjoy.
There's a really annoying song about Irony, but it's less ironic than this.
How is this possible? I AM THE HERO OF THIS TALE! Vahlen, fire up the cloning labs, and get the genetic samples out of cryo. This can't be allowed to stand.
ALIEN BASE ENDS
. My troops keeps dying left & right, i guess i just suck with all this cover n' RNG.
