Completed Let's play Conker's Bad Fur Day

[Kashmir Slippers]

I'm still interested.

 

[Jaedar]

I'll read this LP to the finish, but the concept of another, more awesome one is also intriguing.

 

[Grunker]

I read this on every update, even though I don't comment. It's my favourite LP on the 'dex, currently

I love the mix og videos and written stuff.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Still reading, awesome stuff.

 

[PlanHex]

moar.

This is the only LP I have left to follow, since the others I've followed have ended / been abandoned.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Full of awesome. Want moar.

 

[Grunker]

 

[spekkio]

Don't worry - if there's interest, there will be moar.

But first we have to break our problems into small pieces.

 

[spekkio]

This new area has a distinctive stone-age theme...

Recommended soundtrack

There's only one way forward - we have to climb to the top of the pyramid ahead, avoiding hungry dinos

There's also 2nd exit from this cave, but the lift leading to it isn't operational ATM

Let's go inside the pyramid

Oh oh.



Conker reaches level two and continues to level three

Somebody get me!

Usual business ensues..

151. Cash

But nothing more here. Maybe except the huge statue. Let's climb it.

152. Descend

This new area is quite huge actually. There are two main points of interest.

#1 - An entrance to 'Rock Solid' club:

Currently inaccessible - the bouncer won't let us in:

Nearby rock-guys are hostile - they will chase you around and kick your ass if they catch you:

Cavemen are hostile as well

#2 - There's a corridor on the other side of the room. It looks like a dead-end, but is patrolled...

What to do? First, we have to go back to the stone head:

And use it again

This will open a door just below the statue:

But what next? Well...

153. Drunkroll

Let's check the new room!

154. In the Lounge of the Lizard King

Recommended soundtrack

This area is quite dangerous

If we stay in one place, we can get hit by fireballs

There's also a 'B' panel (guarded by cavemen)

Let's check it

We can use slingshot there, and operate the huge lifting mechanism nearby. Hitting left switch will move the lift up:

And hitting the right one will bring it back down

But what's the use of it?



Door in left corner of the room is locked

Similar door can be found in the right corner.

This one is open...

Another huge area. Floor is filled with lava, there's a spiral ledge (guarded) starting from the entrance, leading to something looking like a... huge egg:

Let's check it out!

There's a monk there

Those can be useful!

155. Mamme?

It looks that Conker got a pet killer weapon... Just you wait you little stonesuckers!



156. Babies must eat

Next section is fun - we have to lead the little one to the exit. The one that we came from is blocked:

We have to go the other way, dealing with cavemen on the way

157. How to deal with a caveman

Many brutal scenes later, we reach the exit and go back to the area with the Lizard King's head

There, we have to lead the baby to the lift

It will deal with nearby cavemen, giving us time to bring the lift up

One thing left...

158. The sacrifice

Now that was really uncalled for, you sick fucks at Rare!



But that's the grimdark world of Conker...



The Lizard King pulled his majestic tongue out. But there's a problem - it's too slippery for Conker to use:

We have to use another monk

He will launch us on the top of Lizard's head

We can grab some cash here:

So, another wise guy? C'mon then!

Cool! I'm gonna have that Gold Card before you know it.

But that didn't solve our slippery problem. We have to apply more direct approach, by visiting Lizard's nostrils

Both of them

159. Cheers!

That solved our problem - we can access the tongue now and move inside the insides of the beast!

This area is rather empty, except dangerous tingling things that can damage our friend if he's not careful

There are two paths inside the Reptile - the right hand path (hard to traverse due to two deep gaps)

And the left hand path, full of tingling things

After some problems, Conker reaches the... rear exit:

160. Master of disguise

Oh, BTW - we're in the area with the egg. There's another exit in the far end of it:

But we can't go there - we have to go back to the previous section. This time, Conker uses the right hand path (technically speaking, it's the left hand path now )

After moving outside, Conker meets some fans and uses his m4d speech skills again

161. Furry lovers

Next thing is simple, but not easy - we have to lead the group of four cavemen all the way back to the entrance to the Rock Solid bar - where the rockmen are chillin'

After that, there's only one thing a true leader can do - wait in the back while his minions do the dirty work

Recommended soundtrack

162. POPin' time!

Let's see if these epic actions changed the stone-cold nature of the bouncer...

163. Bouncer diplomacy

Finally, we can access one of the most epic locations in the game (at least presentation-wise):

If you thought that Brothel of Slating Intellectual Lusts was an epic location... Well, how about...

164. Rock Solid Club

See you next Turdsday...

 

[Kashmir Slippers]

 

[spekkio]

^
I totally agree.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Conker is way more EXTREME then Shepard. A baby critter is sacrificed right before him and he doesn't give a fuck.

 

[spekkio]

This is what you get when you post your videos on Codex:

 

[Crooked Bee]

"I can put this with the rest of my dead presidents."

Holy shit, that's one hell of a bouncer.

Also, poor birdie.

 

[spekkio]

birdie

Conker moves inside the Rock Solid Bar

If he moves onto the switch nearby, the door on the other side of the room opens

This dancing chick looks strangely familiar...
When Conker moves away from the switch, the door closes back down

We need something heavy to block the switch...
Conker moves to the lower part of the bar - it looks that there is not one, but three doors there. And the place is filled with male and female rockmen:

There's a strange sign over the bar

Christians? In this god-forsaken place?
Conker checks the chick again:

Yup. It's Berri.
In the right corner of the club Conker finds three strange looking guys

A 'B'-panel close to a barrel (this looks similar somehow)

And a stoned rockman

Damn - this looks useful... It's rollin' time again!

164. Rollin'

Conker rolls the drunkard all the way up

And blocks the switch permanently

Let's check the exit out...

It appears to be a portal of some sort - Conker lands on the balcony above the cage with Berri

He has to carefully move to the right - those busty cavegirls can throw him down in their dancing spree (they move back and forth)

At the end of the balcony, Conker finds another switch

When pressed, this one opens door #1 and #3, but closes door #2

Stepping off it does the opposite

We need something to block the switch, but we don't have more drunken cavemen.
But maybe we can 'make' them?



Conker goes back down and presses the Awesome button:

He positiones himself in front of one of the rockmen and... unzips!

165. Territorial pissings

As you can see, it's not easy...



But after some retries...

Conker has to use the First-Aid kit

And follow the pissed-to-stone rockman

Another tricky part - Conker has to roll the drunkard to the area where the switch is, but avoiding the busty bitches

Finally, the 2nd switch can be blocked

That didn't help much. Using newly open doors throws our little fellow on the top of Berri's cage (which does jack-shit):

But what about trying the same with two remaining male cavemen (female ones are resistant to squirrel' piss - they will simply start screaming and stop dancing when pissed upon).
So, back to pissing...

This is the only part of the game that I really hate - it's much harder than the previous pissing part (fire imps), requires many quickloads and you have to repeat it three times.
Chocolate is limited as well and you can't leave the Club to replenish health...

of

After many quickloads, rockman #2 lands on the top of Berri's cage

Well, that wasn't enough. Let's try the 3rd one...

166. Pissing on juvenile caveman #3

For some reason, Conker's girlfriend doesn't seem to recognize him. Can it be a dramatic case of amnesia?



Let's find out!

Conker grabs some cash:

Yeh! I'm here. Hurry up, pick me up, shithead.

Excellent! Jet-packs and butlers, here we come.

And tries to follow Berri by leaving the club...

But it looks like there's another person who he has to meet first...

167. Don Weaso

So Berri has a new sugar-daddy now...

Fucking whores, all of them!

But we have more urgent matter to deal with ATM:

The bomb!

One of the few timed-sections of the game. Conker has to be REALLY quick...
And careful, since all hostile creatures are reset. Rockmen:

Cavemen:

And when he deals with them, there's still:

But not a moment too soon, our friend is able to perform a Obsidian-quality

168. Slam-dunk

Unfortunately, it's not the end of his problems - the level of lava has risen, so our squirrel has to GTFO really fast (platforms will sink into the lava in no time)

Safe at last!

169. Surprise!

It looks like we have to take our precious money back... by winning one of the best racing minigames in the history of gaming!

See you next Thursday!

Spoiler

spekkio uses the scroll of Summon Jaedar!

 

[PlanHex]

This is the only part of the game that I really hate - it's much harder than the previous pissing part (fire imps), requires many quickloads and you have to repeat it three times.
Chocolate is limited as well and you can't leave the Club to replenish health...

of

Yeah, I remember that this was the part that made me give up when I played through this game a couple of years back.

Looking forward to the next update, since we're moving on to stuff I've never seen before!

 

[Jaedar]

*Appears*
You called?

It appears I failed my common lore check, cause I can't see the reference.

Cool update though

 

[anver]

Good stuff.

And the scene of Don Weaso killing some shmuck with a bat appears to be a reference to The Untouchables, wherein de Niro kills some shmuck with a bat.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Commit possible genocide - No biggie for Conker.

 

[spekkio]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-sV-O2-jCY

Improved.

Nice catch, Drog. Have some bonuses:

Conker's free time activites #4

Conker's free time activites #5

genocide

You call THIS genocide? Wait till you see next update...

 

[spekkio]

Let's show them fuckers how to operate an anti-gravitational skateboard!

This minigame is quite fun, but rage-inducing...

170. Doing it wrong

You have to own 3 punks using your MAJESTIC frying pan. But that's not easy...
The stage is not only difficult to traverse, but also full of deadly traps:

lava pits (see above), deadly stalagmites

stomping dinos

And every contact with a wall means either health loss, or:

A part of the stage looks closed, BTW:

There's also a ledge leading to some cash - locked as well

How to win this?
You have to speed up all the time, to catch up with the fags. First, the green-haired one:

When he's close enough, you have to apply your frying pan.
When the first one is down, you have to catch the dude with black afro.
When the 2nd fag is down, the stage changes - previously closed area becomes accessible (and the old path is blocked):

So you have to chase the red-headed punk using longer and more dangerous route:

And finally:

But that's not the end of the race. The area with the cash is now open, so you have to speed up and use the ledge to reach it:

And when you do, you go

171. Out of the frying pan into the arena

Conker moves close to the door. Two unarmed cavemen there:

172. Fangy the Raptor

This gentleman is one mean son of a whore. First, Conker has to run away from him:

Using cavemen as a distraction, if possible

Our target - the 'B' panel in the middle of the arena. The problem is, Conker has to reach it when Fangy is not too close to him, or else...

173. Butthurt

So, make him busy with the cavemen, reach the panel, and when he rushes at you...

174. MC time!

It's time to break up this joint!

By going medieval on some rock asses!



First, we have to kill all remaining unarmed cavemen. No hard feelings, bros.



175. Bloodsport

When first wave of victims is gone

176. Wave #2 shows up

These guys can fight back, using clubs. But they're totally easy - as long as you pick up one at a time and eat the victim away from the rest, they can do shit.

When all clubmen are gone

177. Wave #3 appears

These guys are armed with spears, but they are piss-easy as well. As long as you keep moving around.

When you deal with them, the last wave drops down - a mix of clubbers and spearmen:

C'mon devs, bring on something serious!

BTW, you don't have to eat all of them, you can also butt-head them into the lava...



And when all cavemen are gone...

178. Buga the Knut

Boss battle #5 begins!



He has two main attacks...

1) He can create a

179. Deadly shockwave

He can also stomp you, using either his ass or his bone:

He can also smack you right away:

What to do? Well:

180. Jump, ram, circle, bite

Proper timing is important - if he realizes that you're trying to ram him, he will protect his treasures

Yu have to repeat it two times

Third hit leads to:

181. Full frontal nudity

Boss battle #5 ends!

It's time to claim the BIG prize:

Conker takes the exit

And finds:

182. His personal...

Yeah - Dave Gaider could learn a thing or two from this game...



Nothing more to do here... Conker takes the exit and ends up in familiar place:

Yeah - it's the starting area with the pyramid. The lift is operational now:

But Conker uses the upper exit

MOAR cash

So, you want some green stuff?

Yeh! Let's hope there's more where that came from.

This area is familiar as well

Conker continues forward

And does a majestic jump

He goes all the way back to the Poo Cabin

When he leaves it, there's a short scene:

I sense a Bee-diplomacy ahead...

See you next Tuesday!

 

[Crooked Bee]

Holly volly! Two updates to catch up on already!



Will get on to it right away!

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

I excepted that he'd throw the bone into lava and kill that dinosaur as well.

 

[Kashmir Slippers]

I excepted that he'd throw the bone into lava and kill that dinosaur as well.

 

[spekkio]

I excepted that he'd throw the bone into lava and kill that dinosaur as well.

Me too.



But no raptors were harmed while LPing this game.



Ms Bee is in her 'emo' phase again:

183. Cry-bee

New Quest: Recover a bee-hive for Queen Bee. Again.

But it looks that this time... we have to go deeper.

Yeah - the big bug that was guarding the entrance to the wasps' hive is gone. Let's go!

Everything in these screenshots screams:

But... It's not that bad:

184. Self-defense

Another minigame. This time it's the well-known 'turret' one.
You have to defend your furry ass against a couple of waves of deadly insects.
At the beginning they come flying from one direction, which makes this easier (there's a mini-radar at the top of the screen).
The problem is, this shit is very hard to handle - hitting anything requires as much luck as it does skill...
And you have to 'reload' from time to time (it's automated, but you can't shoot non-stop).
Starting at full health is good idea, since this section is long, wasps will start attacking from all directions sooner or later

Which can quickly lead to:

And even when you kill all attackers, there's still:

185. Phase two

The moment you leave the bee-hive

A trio of (undead?) wasps shows up:

186. Willy and the Wankas - reloaded

So - you have to take the bee-hive out of the wasps-hive!

And when you succeed, Queen Bee will unleash

187. The full power of the hive

Quest: Recover a bee-hive for Queen Bee. Again.

We had 1710$ before completing this quest

And now:

I think we're close to the max - AFAIK I only skipped one roll of money (outside the hive), because I don't have a fucking idea how to get it.
FAQs write that you have to take one of the 'exits' inside the hive, but all of them are inaccessible...

*Post-update edit:

But one thing is important:

If we visit mr Barrel having 1710$, we will only get this:

But if we visit him now

We'll get a chance to take

188. A ride?

189. A ride!

So - it's now night in the grimdark world of Conker.
A time of day, ruled by totally new and different inhabitants...

A time of day that calls for more reliable weapons than our trusty frying pan:

See you in 2012...