Completed Let's play Conker's Bad Fur Day

[Crooked Bee]

So this is the original button-awesome game.

 

[SCO]

you haven't seen nothing yet

 

[spekkio]

Anti-gravity chocolate works as health - you can "store" up to 6 bars:

Conker eats some chocolate and moves down the ledge. This area seems familiar:

It's the main hub of the game - we can access many different areas from here. We can also do / start some quests as well.
Let's start by doing some sightseeing.
In the middle of the area we can see a windmill - standing on a top of a big mountain, with a river surrounding it:

To the left we can see something looking like a military installation:

Let's go there (it's the 'nasty' direction). The door leading inside the installation are locked. We have to jump over a barbwire to access the area, BTW:

Don't worry, Conker will get a chance to visit this area later (it's one of my favorites in the game actually).



Let's go back. Continuing up the ledge (with the river to the right) we find something strange:

It looks like a huge hive or something. There's some yellow stack (?) outside:

We can check out the area below from this point too. It looks populated. Heavily:

Huge red bugs? Diplomacy seems inevitable...
It looks like they are guarding something:

A mountain made of... poo?
The huge castle behind it looks familiar as well.

:/

Alright, let's go back to the road sign. It's time to check out the 'nice' part.

It looks nice indeed.
There's a wooden platform at the river bank. Something is flying over it.
It looks like a... crying crowned bee.

Let's check it out.

026. Queen Bee

New Quest: Recover stolen beehive for Queen Bee

So, the yellow thing outside the wasps' hive-out was actually a stolen bee-hive.



Continuing to the right, we end up at the mouth of the river. It is blocked:

It's relevant to our interest actually - one of the game areas lies behind it.
Going back to the area next to miss Bee, we find a bridge. Bugs are close now:

You can also see the wasp's hive-out in the back.
Conker crosses the bridge, when suddenly!

027. Dung Beetles

I love these guys. Only bats are funnier. And fire imps. Damn! Fire imps. Those guys simply fucking rock!



Ehem. Anyway...



There's a 'B' panel up ahead (at the foot of beetles' mountain):

Conker moves onto it.

028. The need for manual

New Quest: Gather 10 dollars and give it to Birdy in exchange for a manual

We don't have any cash ATM, though.

Plus - what do we need a manual for, anyway? Stupid console bullshit.
Let's try continuing without it.
Maybe a stealthy approach will work against the beetles?

029. Going stealth

Damn.

I think we need the manual after all.
But before that, let's check out the only unexplored area - the windmill.
A steep path leading to it starts to the left from the bridge:

Conker starts climbing it, when totally suddenly!

030. The worm

What the fuck? It doesn't look like diplomacy or stealth could help us here. Let's try a violent approach:

031. Going commando

Damn.

Still, by using the powerful quicksave+quickload technique, we can outsmart the bastard.
It's not that though, actually.

032. Going Tails

(You can see Birdy and Bee's platform below)

At the top of the mountain, we find a door leading inside the mill (locked) and... one of the most powerful (and secretive) NPCs in the game:

033. Mr Barrel

He gives us a quest. Quite a cool one:

New Quest: Gather an undisclosed amount of cash for Mr Barrel. Give it to him and something awesome should happen.

It's one of the main quests in the game actually.



The funny thing is - we don't know how much we need, so we have to go back to him from time to time to check out if we gathered enough cash to proceed.
Or consult the FAQ, like I did.



Going back down costs Conker some health (jumping from high ledges is not advised, especially if you don't land in water). Falling from a VERY high ledge = instadeath.

Damn. Only one bar left.
I think we should start doing some quests now. Let's go to the wasp's hive.
When low on health, Conker shows symptoms of fatigue:

We should grab some chocolate ASAP. But first, let's check out what's inside the wasp's hive.
I mean, what could possibly go wrong?



034. Checking the big hive

Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Thank you for participating in this ironman LP.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Hey, you can't end this shit until you've helped the bee!



buzz buzz

 

[Krash]

Tease!

 

[spekkio]

So, Conker is dead. But... not quite. :/

035. Meeting Greg

(I have to use old Project64 and Jabo's Directx6 plugin since there were some glitches)

Only one question bothers me: what does Greg need the squirrels' tails for?



Oh NVM, let's grab the one close:

036. The Left Hand of Doom

:/

And that's how the 'lives system' works!

It's time to do some REAL quest at last!
This should allow us to see the dark side of Queen Bee.

Next Thursday, that is.

 

[Crooked Bee]

I mean



The update was too short!!

 

[spekkio]

Well, I meant to post it on Monday, but nobody gave a fuck about the update, so...

[goes back to playing Ogre Battle]

 

[anver]

I give a fuck about this update. Several, in fact.

 

[Jaedar]

Video 35(mr Grim Reaper) contains a reference to ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9bkE0Ox72I
So what do I win?

 

[spekkio]

So what do I win?

A solid 1st place on the scoreboard:

Jaedar: 1,5 points (no sauce for 1st answer)

And an artwork of one of the shortest grim reapers in the entertainment industry:

 

[Jaedar]

So what do I win?

A solid 1st place on the scoreboard:

That's p cool I guess. Would have preferred an update tho

Also, I refuse to touch the low hanging fruit of references.

 

[Krash]

So how about an update, eh?

 

[spekkio]

Alright. Let's visit the wasps again.

This time, Conker decides to grab the bee-hive:

And get the...

037. Busted by the 'Wayne and the Wankas' Gang

038. Strategic withdrawal

You have to bring the bee-hive all the way back to Queen Bee. Without being stinged.

039. The dark side of Queen Bee

Quest: Recover stolen beehive for Queen Bee



It looks like we saved some little guys:

:singlesquirreltear:

Let's go back to Birdy - after all, we have some cash now:

040. The Manual

Quest: Gather 10 dollars and give it to Birdy in exchange for a manual

Let's consult the Manual:

Oh, I see... It's for the more complex stuff.

It'll appear the first time you use a more complex zone.

And if you need it again, then press 'L' and 'B'.

To skip it, just press 'B'.

The catapult...

Let's see now, use control stick to aim and 'Z' to fire.

041. Going Dave

The path is clear.



Let's check it out...

042. The Crossroad

We've reached our 1st crossroad. We can go right (into the hollow) to reach next area of the game.
But let's explore the rest of the main hub for now, by going left.
Something looking like a house can be seen there:

Hmmm. Let's check it out.

043. The Poo Cabin

We have to come back later it seems. But first, we should explore the area.
Starting by climbing the mountain of poo...

044. Climbing the Poo Mountain

(this area had won the 'best soundtrack in the RPG' award back in 2001)

You can see the entire area from the top of the mountain.
And yes - you have to jump to avoid dung beetles - If you don't, they beat the shit out of you.
There are two ledges leading to the top: the lower one is blocked by a huge dung beetle:

The upper one ends up right above him...



The top of the mountain cannot be accessed:

There's also a blocked entrance on the ground floor:

Let's check out the rest of the area. Behind the Poo Cabin we can find another exit:

And continuing past it, we can reach a ledge, leading to a lake:

Jumping in seems like a good idea...

045. Clang Goblings

Fuck. This area is heavily guarded:

We can see another exit in the distance:

And that button behind the walking gobling looked tempting...



Let's go back to the Poo Cabin for now

It's time to check out the exit behind it:

046. Feral Reserve Bridge Pt. 1

This area doesn't look friendly at all...
But we should try crossing the bridge anyway.

047. Feral Reserve Bridge Pt. 2

:/

Everything goes fine, till you reach the final part...

048. Feral Reserve Bridge Pt. 3

Thank god that we can go back, using a nearby rope:

049. Climbing the rope

Well, we can't go that way indeed:

Conker goes back to the previous area:

And decides to check out the right path after all:

When suddenly [tm]!

050. The Menace, Part 3

A new area awaits our furry hero.
But more about it... Next Thursday.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Can I have some moar?

 

[Crooked Bee]

"Your good service to the bee community"

 

[spekkio]

This area is inhabited mainly by... huge moving blocks:

There's a large building (a barn) in the middle of the area. Conker crosses a green river to reach it:

Big doors ahead are locked. Conker continues right and meets... two blocks and a really nasty mouse (his name is Marvin):

051. Jack

New Quest: Get rid of the nasty mouse. Somehow.

The violent way doesn't work:

And if you are not careful:

052. Being not careful

Let's go back to the entrance. The left path is guarded by two jumping blocks:

We should avoid them for now. The right path looks less dangerous. There's some cash inside a cave above the ledge:

And some weird-looking green creature (the cave with a cash is right above it):

What the hell is this:

:/

Hey! Over here!

There's also another inaccessible part below, with another roll of cash inside:

Continuing ahead, Conker finds another moving block (a wooden one for a change):

A hard way...

Fucker.



Nearby, there's another locked gate leading inside the barn:

The roof of the barn looks p. interesting as well:

Don't tell me we're gonna...

Spoiler

Of course we're gonna

Continuing ahead, Conker ends up behind the two moving blocks from before:

There's also another block to the right. It looks like he's guarding a pen or sth:

Let's talk to the guy (?).

053. Burt

Oh - If you don't talk to Jack first, Burt won't talk to you at all.

Well. We have a pen full of cheese. And a mouse.
You don't have to be a BRIAN SURGEON to realize what should be done.



054. Cheesocaust

Your sacrifice won't be forgotten, little fella.



Right. We have to repeat the process twice, without being squished by the blocks or falling down into the valley to the left (the cheese will run away in both situations).
Conker feeds Marvin for the 2nd time:

Marvelous!

Let's do this...

055. Gluttony

Quest: Get rid of the nasty mouse. Somehow.

So, we can access the roof of the barn now:

056. Going up

Somebody get me!

Yeah. There's another roll of cash here. And some kind of a switch.
Let's grab the money first.

057. Moar moniez

We can press the button now:

This would open the locked gate below.
But. I think we should go back all the way to the Poo Cabin instead.
Conker goes back to the area's entrance, checking some things out on the way:

What the hell?
Anyway. He goes back to the windmill area:

And reaches the Poo Cabin shortly after that. The door is open now:

Conker enters it, when suddenly AND unexpectedly!

058. The Menace Plot thickens

So, you didn't think that this whole Menace-stuff was unrelated to our hero, did you?



See you next Thursday, when we should get a chance to face the first boss.
And once again participate in MANY MORE violent acts of...
Interspecies sadism.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Awesomely awesome! This game roxx.

 

[Jaedar]

That was pretty cool.

 

[spekkio]

 

[spekkio]

We left our furry hero when he was accessing the Poo Cabin. Inside, he finds some neutral NPC:

059. Looking for some poo

Hmm. It looks like we have to get our paws dirty after all...
Let's explore!

060. Exploring

The power of the AWESOME button remains strong.

Somebody over here!

That's right, another one:

We can't help him ATM, though.
Conker continues ahead and finds some nice, newfag-friendly platforming section:

We have to reach one of the exits on the other side of the pit: the lower one (visible on screenshot) or the upper one. Both of them lead to same place, so it's quite easy.
Conker has to navigate through the area using ropes and ledges and avoiding contact with the poo coming from the taps in regular intervals.
Failure is not punishable (this time) - if you screw up and fall down into the pit, you simply end up in the starting area.

061. Poopamole

Conker does some climbing:

062. Quality platforming action

And reaches the exit:

Outside, he faces some very perceptive NPC:

063. The Bull

We should follow the advice and avoid the bastard, because if we don't:

There's not much to do in the arena ATM.
We have some weird-looking building with a huge tap on the roof:

But the nearby trough is empty:

Hmm. I think we should check this building out...

064. Climbing the roof of Prune Juice Storage

The top of the building is damn interesting:

Once again, you don't have to be Cleve to solve this riddle...

065. Boss Battle #1 begins!

Conker goes back to the ground level, using the shortest route:

And makes somebody else press the AWESOME button.

066. Marta

Let's check out our 'inventory'.
We have a bull, a cow, a through full of prune juice and a wooden fence. This is simple.
First you have to do:

067. This

And then:

068. That

Let's concentrate on the gameplay, shall we?
The bull will try to shake you off, and you have to press the 'B' button in a proper moment - this will make him charge ahead.
I was damn lucky in the video, because he turned around and faced Marta right away...
Now Marta is sitting in the middle of the arena. What's next? Well:

069. How to get rid of the cow

:/

Yeah.
Now, in every successful console game, to defeat the boss, you have to hit him three times. This game is no exception.
Second target became available, so we have to repeat the whole process. Which isn't easy:

With second button pressed, another cow (Mavis?) enters the arena:

She's more stubborn than Marta - you have to hit her twice to force her into drinking the juice.
After that, she can be dealt with:

The 3rd and final switch becomes available. When pressed:

It will release the final cow (Olive?).
She is the toughest - you have to hit her three times before she moves to the through.
After that, there is only one thing left:

070. Boss Battle #1 ends!

Conker jumps into the hole:

And lands in the upper part of the poo-pit. It's filled up with poo indeed:

So - we have a problem. We can't reach the bottom, so we can't go back to the Poo Cabin.
Only the power of the AWESOME button can help us...

071. New ability unlocked

And if I'm a lot more confident, then I should be able to swim underwater now. Hmmm... How would I do that? Let's see...

Press 'B' and that should submerge me.

Then, once I'm underwater, hold down 'B' to make me swim.

Point the control stick in the direction you want me to go. That's it!

072. The Dive

As I mentioned before, corpses do not disappear magically in this game.



Before going outside the cabin, which is empty now, BTW:

We should grab the roll of money from before:

073. More moniez

After that, we can get back to the bottom/surface and leave the Cabin.

074. Outside the Poo Cabin

So. We have a fully-functional ball of poo. The question is...

075. What can you do with a ball of poo?

The lower ledge is now cleared. We have to use it to roll another ball of poo all the way to the top.

But before rolling it into the hole at the top...

Hey! Somebody get me!

We have to jump on the top of the ball (which takes > 9000 retries):

And continue to the top of the mountain:

076. Moar money

Now we can go back down and roll the ball into the hole

077. Jackpoot

The entrance is cleared!
Alright. Now for the final use of the ball of poo:

078. An airstrike

The button can be pressed now:

079. Flushed

We can cross the lake. Using maximal caution if we don't want to get sucked in.

It also looks like we're going to visit the inside of the wasps' hive-out at some point:

But that's not what's important now.

We have three places where we can go now. We can:

A) Go back to the Barn and open the gate leading inside,
B) Use the entrance at the bottom of the Poo Mountain to explore its insides,
C) Use the entrance on the other side of the lake.

All these entrances lead to different areas. In all these areas Conker will find some p. cool NPCs, new quests and three new bosses.

Let's describe what we can find in these areas:

A) Rednecks, bats, and one of the best sex scenes in the history of gaming.
B) Moar dung beetles. But also one of the best boss battles in the history of gaming.
C) Some blue-blooded ladies. Bats. A NPC of uncertain sexuality. Fire imps. And one of the manliest bosses in the history of gaming.

Tough choice - I know.



But you have to choose - where should we go next (A/B/C)?

Discuss!

 

[Crooked Bee]

Poor cows.

Kawaii!

Also, I vote A!

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

A, let's see what Biowhores can only dream of!

 

[Jaedar]

Let's C those fire imps.

 

[lightbane]

What a shitty update

I vote for B, one of the most epic, awesome, emotionally engaging boss battle ever existed.