It was a time for blood. The mighty Attention Whores, their ranks boosted by several linewoman mercenaries who didn’t even have proper Codexian names, stood against Der Intellektewals. On this rested their tournament hopes. But they’d beaten these brutes before – and, they agreed, they could do so again.
Prosper ‘The Artist’, her breasts perky and uplifted, cried,
“FOR THE LEAGUE!”
The Orcs, meanwhile, stamped their feet nervously. The cup, they knew, was out of their reach – but they had some much-needed kudos to regain. They’d beaten and drawn against Mantiis’ Norse, after all – and what were Amazons, but Norsemen without werewolves or trolls?
Norsemen without werewolves or trolls, but with dodge as a starting skill.
Oh, shi-
*
Kick-off to the Whores, as the rain sleeted down. Fortunately for the sluggish Orcs, the Amazons booted the ball straight off-field, and it was returned directly to the hands of a Blitzer.
At once the ladz moved forward, veering towards the right, relying on the protection of the Blocky Black Orcs. The neat little cage was upset, almost immediately, by a bevy of high-powered Blodgey-Guardy Blitzers, including the dreaded ‘Side Step’ Prosper. The ball-carrier dashed madly to the left, reforming the cage closer to the wing. This went on for some time, and I was slightly miffed by my inability to get even a K.O. out of any of my hits.
Then tragedy struck; an Amazon offensive managed to break through, knocking the ball far back into their own ranks; immediately they picked it up and formed a neat cage on their right wing just past the halfway line. The Orc thrower waited near the endzone, ready to strike. He was really quite surprised by the Blitzer that ran all the way to him and kicked him over. The ball-carrier was left open near the endzone – but protected by a couple of Blitzers, one of them with Guard. One of my own Blitzers got to her, with two dice against him, managing only to shove her lengthways towards the edge of the pitch. A hop, a skip and a bash, and the Amazons were over on the seventh turn, pushing a Blitzer off the pitch in the process.
1-0 to the Attention Whores! Der Intellektewals did their best to get an injury before half-time, but to no avail.
Orcy kick-off; and the Amazons immediately formed a tight cage in their own half, protected by the Blitzer Skyway at the front. She found herself surrounded by a couple of Black Orcs, who somehow managed to roll a 6. Badly Hurt!
The Whores went left; the Orcs followed. In the melee, the Whores dodged back around, heading right, and managing in the meantime to pin down a Blitzer on the edge of a pitch with a linewoman. Der Intellektewals managed to get across and fight their way through – and suddenly the ball was in the hands of an Orc Thrower.
Growling something murderous about ‘damage limitation’, Grunker decked him, and got the ball back – but he was now dangerously far into his own half. Another struggle and an Orc Blitzer had the ball, veering left and forward, though exposed. He was taken down, the ball picked up, and, sensing a threat, the carrying linewoman quickly handed the ball to Prosper. The Orcs charged on, Badly Hurting another Amazon. A bit of Blitzing and the ball carrier was surrounded. A few turns of trying to knock that bitch Prosper over, and finally the ball was on the ground, well within reach of an Orcy Blitzer – but it was covered by an Amazon. Along with the rain, that was a 5+ roll.
The heroic Blitzer dived in, dived out, and then made two successive GFI rolls, leaving me my final re-roll for the remainder of the last two turns. He was in spitting distance of the endzone, and clear – the rest of the team did their bit by knocking down as many Amazons as possible.
One turn left apiece. Grunker managed to get one of his players free with some strategic bashing. Now he had a choice ahead of him. Make a 1d attack on the Blitzer, or try and dodge one of his players clear and get both dice. He chose the latter, moving his free player up first, then preparing to Blitz.
All around the stadium, hearts were thumping, voices hoarse with yelling paused in silence or whispered prayers to Nuffle-
-and a Black Orc’s arm took out the Blitzing Amazon. K.O. Turnover.
And it was all over. Another Blocky Black Orc contemptuously knocked the ball-carrier’s marker out of the way, and the Blitzer ran free and clear.
1-1. End of match.
Very well played to Grunker, who made the right decision and got shafted for it. Which we *think* means that he’s now out of the running for the trophy. All on you, Mantiis, buddy.