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Another RPGCodex Bloodbowl league thread
- Thread starter Mantiis
- Start date
ComradeCommissar
Learned
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2010
- Messages
- 717
Mantiis said:
All from one game too.
OldSkoolKamikaze said:
I sincerely doubt my roster will be completely ready for battle in just one game, considering I'll probably have to fire some ladies.
According to the replay OSK's dead star was the MVP, so he didn't even get SPP. The dice really fucked him whenever possible.
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2007
- Messages
- 8,022
Mantiis said:
I'm pretty sure it was mostly the dice. You had very little to do with it!
If you discount both of our games, my record is 6-0-0, and yours is 3-1-2. We all know who the better coach is!
good little toastboy said:
Yeah, I noticed this right away after the match. It was a nice kick in the nuts.
How is the round progressing? 
Mantiis said:We are waiting for the Grotsnik v Dirk game to be played - Dirk doesn't seem to be responding to hails...Grunker said:How is the round progressing?
So close to finishing as well
Nah, don't worry. Probably just the holidays.
Marsal
Arcane
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2006
- Messages
- 1,304
I guess this is an attempt at a joke, but you can't hide the butthurt. You played ManT twice and got demolished both times. Burning rerolls on irrelevant things, leaving your players next to norse every chance possible and then blaming the dice for the massacre...OldSkoolKamikaze said:
You should have a play-off. Best of 5 series between 1st and 2nd place team to settle this. Level of rage when you lose should be epic
Undead Phoenix
Arcane
Yes yes, the players are important man but what about the team table!Mantiis said:
Undead Phoenix
Arcane
You obviously editted it in after I postedMantiis said:
Ouch, looking at the team ratings has just made me realised just how much Grunker's team got smashed last game
grotsnik
Arcane
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2010
- Messages
- 1,671
As the Codex Blood Bowl league crawled towards its conclusion, two bruised and battered teams faced each other on that really irritating fiery purple Chaos pitch that always seems to show up. The Orcy Intellektewals were down a newly-acquired, apparently bloody useless troll for the duration of a match, and the Dark Elf Nutrippers still only had one Blodging Witch Elf and had acquired a mercenary.
Orcs lost the toss and kicked, getting a ‘High Ball’ result. Reminding us all of how arsey the game likes to be with us, the ball dropped immediately out of the catching elf’s hands and onto the ground beside him. Immediately the Nutrippers made an aggressive attacking front. One Blockless lineman went for a Blockless Black Orc and rolled ‘Both Down’. Dirk re-rolled. He got ‘Both Down’ again. My mocking laughter was cut short as the poor Orc was K.O.ed.
The Orcy defence held for a few turns, whereupon another blameless Black Orc was Badly Hurt. I was losing players fast, but Dirk just couldn’t seem to make it through. Another K.O. on an Orc and things were looking grim for Der Intellektewals – but they still had 2 re-rolls and the elves had none.
Unable to shake off the Orcs, an elf tried to dive out of a tackle zone and smashed a hand; the apothecary offered to upgrade his status to ‘Dead’ but was politely turned down. Taking advantage, the Orcs got their hands on the ball and swept back upfield, their enthusiasm only slightly dampened by the fact that the elves were much quicker than them and that there were only enough of them unmarked for 2 players to be near the ball at any one time. But they were troopers. Dirk took out the ball carrier, another Orc picked it up, and so they ended up irritatingly close to the Nutripper endzone when the whistle blew. The Orcs would have the ball for the second half – but they were down two players to the Elves’ one.
Second half began, and Dirk chipped the ball gently into an open space just on the edge of my half – and then got a Blitz. Angry sobbing ensued, but with my leggy Movement + 1 Blitzer, I was able to get Orc hands on the ball and the ball into safety without too much difficulty. The Elves moved around, trying to find a weakness – the Nutripper Assassin, for the umpteenth time this match, failed his Stab roll and stared at his obviously rubber dagger in disbelief.
The Dark Elf mercenary, who’d been delighted at the chance to play with his heroes, and who was hoping his mum was watching, found himself dump-tackled and smashed his knee. The Orc train rumbled on down the left wing until the ball-carrier found himself in range, round Turn 13, and went for it.
Touchdown! 1-0 to Der Intellektewals.
As the whistle blew again, the Orcs hung back, understandably wary. The Nutrippers, sensing that time was short and that, with the K.O.ed Orcs all back on the field, they were outnumbered, all clustered around the ball, protected by the Witch Elf. Two Black Orcs sauntered forward and pushed her over, getting a Badly Hurt off the annoyingly talented player about 14 turns after I’d have liked it. Turn 16 came around with no progress on the Elves’ part and plenty of their players in touch.
“Right!” I said to myself. “One final turn of concentrated bashing it is, then.” And, with appropriate caution, I picked a Blocky Black Orc and rolled my two dice.
Double skulls. End of the match.
Good game - thanks for being patient, gents.
Orcs lost the toss and kicked, getting a ‘High Ball’ result. Reminding us all of how arsey the game likes to be with us, the ball dropped immediately out of the catching elf’s hands and onto the ground beside him. Immediately the Nutrippers made an aggressive attacking front. One Blockless lineman went for a Blockless Black Orc and rolled ‘Both Down’. Dirk re-rolled. He got ‘Both Down’ again. My mocking laughter was cut short as the poor Orc was K.O.ed.
The Orcy defence held for a few turns, whereupon another blameless Black Orc was Badly Hurt. I was losing players fast, but Dirk just couldn’t seem to make it through. Another K.O. on an Orc and things were looking grim for Der Intellektewals – but they still had 2 re-rolls and the elves had none.
Unable to shake off the Orcs, an elf tried to dive out of a tackle zone and smashed a hand; the apothecary offered to upgrade his status to ‘Dead’ but was politely turned down. Taking advantage, the Orcs got their hands on the ball and swept back upfield, their enthusiasm only slightly dampened by the fact that the elves were much quicker than them and that there were only enough of them unmarked for 2 players to be near the ball at any one time. But they were troopers. Dirk took out the ball carrier, another Orc picked it up, and so they ended up irritatingly close to the Nutripper endzone when the whistle blew. The Orcs would have the ball for the second half – but they were down two players to the Elves’ one.
Second half began, and Dirk chipped the ball gently into an open space just on the edge of my half – and then got a Blitz. Angry sobbing ensued, but with my leggy Movement + 1 Blitzer, I was able to get Orc hands on the ball and the ball into safety without too much difficulty. The Elves moved around, trying to find a weakness – the Nutripper Assassin, for the umpteenth time this match, failed his Stab roll and stared at his obviously rubber dagger in disbelief.
The Dark Elf mercenary, who’d been delighted at the chance to play with his heroes, and who was hoping his mum was watching, found himself dump-tackled and smashed his knee. The Orc train rumbled on down the left wing until the ball-carrier found himself in range, round Turn 13, and went for it.
Touchdown! 1-0 to Der Intellektewals.
As the whistle blew again, the Orcs hung back, understandably wary. The Nutrippers, sensing that time was short and that, with the K.O.ed Orcs all back on the field, they were outnumbered, all clustered around the ball, protected by the Witch Elf. Two Black Orcs sauntered forward and pushed her over, getting a Badly Hurt off the annoyingly talented player about 14 turns after I’d have liked it. Turn 16 came around with no progress on the Elves’ part and plenty of their players in touch.
“Right!” I said to myself. “One final turn of concentrated bashing it is, then.” And, with appropriate caution, I picked a Blocky Black Orc and rolled my two dice.
Double skulls. End of the match.
Good game - thanks for being patient, gents.
grotsnik said:
LIGHTLY?!? Dude, I'm an AV7 team. I LIVE off of substitutes. They are my bread and butter. Fuck what got injured and what didn't, the fact that I'm playing a bashy team with a destroyed roster is what's gonna kill me
But I've been in worse scrapes... I'll manage... Somehow.
grotsnik
Arcane
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2010
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- 1,671
It was a time for blood. The mighty Attention Whores, their ranks boosted by several linewoman mercenaries who didn’t even have proper Codexian names, stood against Der Intellektewals. On this rested their tournament hopes. But they’d beaten these brutes before – and, they agreed, they could do so again.
Prosper ‘The Artist’, her breasts perky and uplifted, cried,
“FOR THE LEAGUE!”
The Orcs, meanwhile, stamped their feet nervously. The cup, they knew, was out of their reach – but they had some much-needed kudos to regain. They’d beaten and drawn against Mantiis’ Norse, after all – and what were Amazons, but Norsemen without werewolves or trolls?
Norsemen without werewolves or trolls, but with dodge as a starting skill.
Oh, shi-
*
Kick-off to the Whores, as the rain sleeted down. Fortunately for the sluggish Orcs, the Amazons booted the ball straight off-field, and it was returned directly to the hands of a Blitzer.
At once the ladz moved forward, veering towards the right, relying on the protection of the Blocky Black Orcs. The neat little cage was upset, almost immediately, by a bevy of high-powered Blodgey-Guardy Blitzers, including the dreaded ‘Side Step’ Prosper. The ball-carrier dashed madly to the left, reforming the cage closer to the wing. This went on for some time, and I was slightly miffed by my inability to get even a K.O. out of any of my hits.
Then tragedy struck; an Amazon offensive managed to break through, knocking the ball far back into their own ranks; immediately they picked it up and formed a neat cage on their right wing just past the halfway line. The Orc thrower waited near the endzone, ready to strike. He was really quite surprised by the Blitzer that ran all the way to him and kicked him over. The ball-carrier was left open near the endzone – but protected by a couple of Blitzers, one of them with Guard. One of my own Blitzers got to her, with two dice against him, managing only to shove her lengthways towards the edge of the pitch. A hop, a skip and a bash, and the Amazons were over on the seventh turn, pushing a Blitzer off the pitch in the process.
1-0 to the Attention Whores! Der Intellektewals did their best to get an injury before half-time, but to no avail.
Orcy kick-off; and the Amazons immediately formed a tight cage in their own half, protected by the Blitzer Skyway at the front. She found herself surrounded by a couple of Black Orcs, who somehow managed to roll a 6. Badly Hurt!
The Whores went left; the Orcs followed. In the melee, the Whores dodged back around, heading right, and managing in the meantime to pin down a Blitzer on the edge of a pitch with a linewoman. Der Intellektewals managed to get across and fight their way through – and suddenly the ball was in the hands of an Orc Thrower.
Growling something murderous about ‘damage limitation’, Grunker decked him, and got the ball back – but he was now dangerously far into his own half. Another struggle and an Orc Blitzer had the ball, veering left and forward, though exposed. He was taken down, the ball picked up, and, sensing a threat, the carrying linewoman quickly handed the ball to Prosper. The Orcs charged on, Badly Hurting another Amazon. A bit of Blitzing and the ball carrier was surrounded. A few turns of trying to knock that bitch Prosper over, and finally the ball was on the ground, well within reach of an Orcy Blitzer – but it was covered by an Amazon. Along with the rain, that was a 5+ roll.
The heroic Blitzer dived in, dived out, and then made two successive GFI rolls, leaving me my final re-roll for the remainder of the last two turns. He was in spitting distance of the endzone, and clear – the rest of the team did their bit by knocking down as many Amazons as possible.
One turn left apiece. Grunker managed to get one of his players free with some strategic bashing. Now he had a choice ahead of him. Make a 1d attack on the Blitzer, or try and dodge one of his players clear and get both dice. He chose the latter, moving his free player up first, then preparing to Blitz.
All around the stadium, hearts were thumping, voices hoarse with yelling paused in silence or whispered prayers to Nuffle-
-and a Black Orc’s arm took out the Blitzing Amazon. K.O. Turnover.
And it was all over. Another Blocky Black Orc contemptuously knocked the ball-carrier’s marker out of the way, and the Blitzer ran free and clear.
1-1. End of match.
Very well played to Grunker, who made the right decision and got shafted for it. Which we *think* means that he’s now out of the running for the trophy. All on you, Mantiis, buddy.
Prosper ‘The Artist’, her breasts perky and uplifted, cried,
“FOR THE LEAGUE!”
The Orcs, meanwhile, stamped their feet nervously. The cup, they knew, was out of their reach – but they had some much-needed kudos to regain. They’d beaten and drawn against Mantiis’ Norse, after all – and what were Amazons, but Norsemen without werewolves or trolls?
Norsemen without werewolves or trolls, but with dodge as a starting skill.
Oh, shi-
*
Kick-off to the Whores, as the rain sleeted down. Fortunately for the sluggish Orcs, the Amazons booted the ball straight off-field, and it was returned directly to the hands of a Blitzer.
At once the ladz moved forward, veering towards the right, relying on the protection of the Blocky Black Orcs. The neat little cage was upset, almost immediately, by a bevy of high-powered Blodgey-Guardy Blitzers, including the dreaded ‘Side Step’ Prosper. The ball-carrier dashed madly to the left, reforming the cage closer to the wing. This went on for some time, and I was slightly miffed by my inability to get even a K.O. out of any of my hits.
Then tragedy struck; an Amazon offensive managed to break through, knocking the ball far back into their own ranks; immediately they picked it up and formed a neat cage on their right wing just past the halfway line. The Orc thrower waited near the endzone, ready to strike. He was really quite surprised by the Blitzer that ran all the way to him and kicked him over. The ball-carrier was left open near the endzone – but protected by a couple of Blitzers, one of them with Guard. One of my own Blitzers got to her, with two dice against him, managing only to shove her lengthways towards the edge of the pitch. A hop, a skip and a bash, and the Amazons were over on the seventh turn, pushing a Blitzer off the pitch in the process.
1-0 to the Attention Whores! Der Intellektewals did their best to get an injury before half-time, but to no avail.
Orcy kick-off; and the Amazons immediately formed a tight cage in their own half, protected by the Blitzer Skyway at the front. She found herself surrounded by a couple of Black Orcs, who somehow managed to roll a 6. Badly Hurt!
The Whores went left; the Orcs followed. In the melee, the Whores dodged back around, heading right, and managing in the meantime to pin down a Blitzer on the edge of a pitch with a linewoman. Der Intellektewals managed to get across and fight their way through – and suddenly the ball was in the hands of an Orc Thrower.
Growling something murderous about ‘damage limitation’, Grunker decked him, and got the ball back – but he was now dangerously far into his own half. Another struggle and an Orc Blitzer had the ball, veering left and forward, though exposed. He was taken down, the ball picked up, and, sensing a threat, the carrying linewoman quickly handed the ball to Prosper. The Orcs charged on, Badly Hurting another Amazon. A bit of Blitzing and the ball carrier was surrounded. A few turns of trying to knock that bitch Prosper over, and finally the ball was on the ground, well within reach of an Orcy Blitzer – but it was covered by an Amazon. Along with the rain, that was a 5+ roll.
The heroic Blitzer dived in, dived out, and then made two successive GFI rolls, leaving me my final re-roll for the remainder of the last two turns. He was in spitting distance of the endzone, and clear – the rest of the team did their bit by knocking down as many Amazons as possible.
One turn left apiece. Grunker managed to get one of his players free with some strategic bashing. Now he had a choice ahead of him. Make a 1d attack on the Blitzer, or try and dodge one of his players clear and get both dice. He chose the latter, moving his free player up first, then preparing to Blitz.
All around the stadium, hearts were thumping, voices hoarse with yelling paused in silence or whispered prayers to Nuffle-
-and a Black Orc’s arm took out the Blitzing Amazon. K.O. Turnover.
And it was all over. Another Blocky Black Orc contemptuously knocked the ball-carrier’s marker out of the way, and the Blitzer ran free and clear.
1-1. End of match.
Very well played to Grunker, who made the right decision and got shafted for it. Which we *think* means that he’s now out of the running for the trophy. All on you, Mantiis, buddy.
Mantiis
Cipher
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2006
- Messages
- 1,786
Nice write up, the build up at the end was cool.
So if OSK loses his next one it'll make the showdown with Grunker in the last round really interesting. :D
EDIT: Actually if OSK draws his next game that is OK too as it will leave him on 6-1-2 going into the Grunker game with Grunker being 5-2-2 with the winner taking all!!! W0000000000!
Not mathematically - if OSK loses both his matches and Grunker wins his last (and I lose my last two) then he can take the league. Having said that I don't think OSK will lose both of his last two.
So if OSK loses his next one it'll make the showdown with Grunker in the last round really interesting. :D
EDIT: Actually if OSK draws his next game that is OK too as it will leave him on 6-1-2 going into the Grunker game with Grunker being 5-2-2 with the winner taking all!!! W0000000000!
Thanks for the match I say to ye Grotsnik! T'was gracious of you not to harm my players too much.
In all honesty, Grotty's ninja-Blitzer at the last part of the match doesn't tell the entire tale. Not sending any of my players off-pitch during the first half smelled of bad luck, considering my AV7-team as well as the multitude of blocks Grotty got off.
So all in all, the last touchdown was well-deserved and the draw probably fair.
And sure, I'm hypothetically still in the run. That's a pretty fucking gigantic "hypothetically" though
In all honesty, Grotty's ninja-Blitzer at the last part of the match doesn't tell the entire tale. Not sending any of my players off-pitch during the first half smelled of bad luck, considering my AV7-team as well as the multitude of blocks Grotty got off.
So all in all, the last touchdown was well-deserved and the draw probably fair.
And sure, I'm hypothetically still in the run. That's a pretty fucking gigantic "hypothetically" though
Mantiis
Cipher
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2006
- Messages
- 1,786
The Dexian Doombringers had entered the league out of curiosity and with a wish to embrace more into the fold of nurgle's stinky stinky bussom. The Northern Wastes on the other hand entered the game with a desire to win to keep their chances alive at the title lest those twice a day washing elves get their hands on the cup. Could the Wastes get away without getting wasted? Would the Doombringers bring doom?
Read on and find out!
The Doombringers won the toss and decided to kick off and the ball lands near the halfway line and to one side. A blitz event occurs and I don't remember much of it so I can only figure that the Doombringers didn't roll well. My thrower "Can't Throw" cannot get to the ball so I try and make a little fortress around the ball. I also frenzy a player off of the pitch: Yay! No damage though: BOO! After a bit of pushing and shoving I manage to get "Can't throw" to grab the ball, I also try and get my players the hell away from SLUGMAN'S REVENGE. The Dexian Doombringer's leave a space open and "Can't Throw" runs on through it. From memory Comrade decides to try his luck at a 2D blitz and rolls double skulls and he had rolled already this turn so a turnover occurs. I run my player to the line with an escort and decide to try my luck at bashing the Doombringers. By turn 5 I decide that I ain't winning and I run it in. Wastes up 0-1.
I kick off to start the match and another blitz event occurs this time for me! Yay! The ball was landing near the line and to one side so I figure with three turns left I would make a play and try and score. I knock off one of the players guarding where the ball would land and I place my runner (with diving catch) next to the spot where the ball would land as I didn't want to leave the catcher next to a Doombringer lest he get infected. Or killed. Or both. Anyway the ball lands and the diving catch is successful - my runner has the ball and he is in no tackle zones. Comrade rectifies this by moving most of his team over. He also rolls crap and a turnover occurs. By this stage he is out of re-rolls so a bad roll is a turnover. My runner breaks free and makes a run for the end zone with no cover - comrade makes a 1D blitz with no rerolls and guess what he rolled? A skull. If it is any consolation my runner is a blodger so he need a defender down result which is 1/6 ~16%. Anyway I decide to try my luck again with the bashy and don't get much luck - on turn 8 I run it in. Waste's up 0-2.
On Comrade's turn 8 I have a mindfail and place a troll and a bersker on the line alongside a lineman. As I click "ready" I think to myself why do I have a troll on the line and then I continue to ask myself that when he gets injured: -1 to agility and miss next game. Meh, no harm done as I play dark elves next and the troll's agility starts at 1 so bleh.
With a troll down but still 11 players on the pitch I kickoff - I was able to move my players away from SLUGMAN with the kickoff event and I set myself up to try and get some ball action. Comrade works over my lineman and then grabs the ball after burning a reroll. He then tosses the ball to another stinky goat and that goat then gets to a place where he gets caged up. After a fair amount of blocking I manage to knock the ball free, I run to the end zone and decide again to hold on the line until (if?) the tide turns. It does and I run the ball in. Wastes up 0-3.
The next kick off event occurs and it is a high kick, the goat tasked with grabbing the ball misses and it lands at his feet. Now I am not sure exactly what happened but I think my runner was able to dodge in, grab the ball dodge out and make a run for the line over two turns. It may have also had something to do with the fact that Comrade had decided he wanted some blood and proceeded to hit as many times as humanly possible and then foul for good measure. As with all the other touchdowns I ran the ball in when the tide started to turn. Wastes up 0-4.
God knows what the last kick off event was because by our turn 16s we were just looking to do some damage. Blocks everywhere and fouling abound (well, one each) but no damage. I gangfouled the slugman on my very last action hoping to get rid of the competition for most injuries in the league but I failed.
The Wastes win: 0-4.
I sustained two injuries: Troll and a lineman and Comrade sustained one on a rotter from memory (which I think regenerated). Let me know if I missed anything Comrade.
The wastes are temporarily at the top of the league - it is now dependant on the OSK Vs Dirk game. Elves Vs Elves! Oh the exciment of dodging and throwing the ball around. HIT EACH OTHER YOU FAGGOTS! ITS CALLED BLOODBOWL!!!
Read on and find out!
The Doombringers won the toss and decided to kick off and the ball lands near the halfway line and to one side. A blitz event occurs and I don't remember much of it so I can only figure that the Doombringers didn't roll well. My thrower "Can't Throw" cannot get to the ball so I try and make a little fortress around the ball. I also frenzy a player off of the pitch: Yay! No damage though: BOO! After a bit of pushing and shoving I manage to get "Can't throw" to grab the ball, I also try and get my players the hell away from SLUGMAN'S REVENGE. The Dexian Doombringer's leave a space open and "Can't Throw" runs on through it. From memory Comrade decides to try his luck at a 2D blitz and rolls double skulls and he had rolled already this turn so a turnover occurs. I run my player to the line with an escort and decide to try my luck at bashing the Doombringers. By turn 5 I decide that I ain't winning and I run it in. Wastes up 0-1.
I kick off to start the match and another blitz event occurs this time for me! Yay! The ball was landing near the line and to one side so I figure with three turns left I would make a play and try and score. I knock off one of the players guarding where the ball would land and I place my runner (with diving catch) next to the spot where the ball would land as I didn't want to leave the catcher next to a Doombringer lest he get infected. Or killed. Or both. Anyway the ball lands and the diving catch is successful - my runner has the ball and he is in no tackle zones. Comrade rectifies this by moving most of his team over. He also rolls crap and a turnover occurs. By this stage he is out of re-rolls so a bad roll is a turnover. My runner breaks free and makes a run for the end zone with no cover - comrade makes a 1D blitz with no rerolls and guess what he rolled? A skull. If it is any consolation my runner is a blodger so he need a defender down result which is 1/6 ~16%. Anyway I decide to try my luck again with the bashy and don't get much luck - on turn 8 I run it in. Waste's up 0-2.
On Comrade's turn 8 I have a mindfail and place a troll and a bersker on the line alongside a lineman. As I click "ready" I think to myself why do I have a troll on the line and then I continue to ask myself that when he gets injured: -1 to agility and miss next game. Meh, no harm done as I play dark elves next and the troll's agility starts at 1 so bleh.
With a troll down but still 11 players on the pitch I kickoff - I was able to move my players away from SLUGMAN with the kickoff event and I set myself up to try and get some ball action. Comrade works over my lineman and then grabs the ball after burning a reroll. He then tosses the ball to another stinky goat and that goat then gets to a place where he gets caged up. After a fair amount of blocking I manage to knock the ball free, I run to the end zone and decide again to hold on the line until (if?) the tide turns. It does and I run the ball in. Wastes up 0-3.
The next kick off event occurs and it is a high kick, the goat tasked with grabbing the ball misses and it lands at his feet. Now I am not sure exactly what happened but I think my runner was able to dodge in, grab the ball dodge out and make a run for the line over two turns. It may have also had something to do with the fact that Comrade had decided he wanted some blood and proceeded to hit as many times as humanly possible and then foul for good measure. As with all the other touchdowns I ran the ball in when the tide started to turn. Wastes up 0-4.
God knows what the last kick off event was because by our turn 16s we were just looking to do some damage. Blocks everywhere and fouling abound (well, one each) but no damage. I gangfouled the slugman on my very last action hoping to get rid of the competition for most injuries in the league but I failed.
The Wastes win: 0-4.
I sustained two injuries: Troll and a lineman and Comrade sustained one on a rotter from memory (which I think regenerated). Let me know if I missed anything Comrade.
The wastes are temporarily at the top of the league - it is now dependant on the OSK Vs Dirk game. Elves Vs Elves! Oh the exciment of dodging and throwing the ball around. HIT EACH OTHER YOU FAGGOTS! ITS CALLED BLOODBOWL!!!
Dirk Diggler
Scholar
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2009
- Messages
- 4,946
The Nutrippers and The Robber Barons took the pitch today, and what a bizarre game of elfball it was.
The Barons lost the toss up and so the Nutrippers chose to receive. Things started out rough when the Nutrippers took the ball up the side of the field and knocked Jay Gould out cold as they cleaved a path. It wasn't enough to throw the high elves off their defense game though, and so the 'rippers made a small cage and prepared for a struggle.
A high elf catcher's shoulder pads got to his head as he made a blitz for the dark elf ball carrier, making the heartbeat rationalization that he was just a chump runner anyway, I mean hell, he doesn't even have shoulder pads what can he do?! As he closed in the runner tossed the ball to a nearby witch elf and kicked the delusional catcher out cold.
With two high elves down, the dark elves ran their cage a few more yard down field and further to the sidelines. A brawl ensued with the Dark Elves coming out on top, and an assassin knocking out another foolhardy catcher with a knife, don't ask me how he does it, it happened! Just as the Dark Elves approached the goal line the High Elves made a line with their remaining players. It would have been easy enough for the dark elves to bust through, but in their vainglorious bloodlust resulted in them blocking the best path for the witch elf to run.
Unconcerned by her comrades' eagerness, she took the best opening she saw and found herself just a few yards from the goal line and with only a single blitzer and runner for cover. The High Elves lept on this opportunity, knocking her to the pitch and quickly throwing the ball downfield with a spectacular long pass. The Dark Elves could only throw muster a winded tantrum as the blitzer managed to run across the goal line, safely out of reach.
1-0
The Dark Elves line up, but their coach seems to have been dipping too heavily into her own witchbrew and totally forgot to notice that they were receiving, instead ordering them up for a defense. Luckily enough, it's a short kick and little ground is lost, but there isn't enough time in the half for a score to be made and so after some general roughhousing the half is up.
The High Elf players that got knocked out manage to get up and walk it off, bringing both teams to a full roster. The Dark Elves kick off again, and it seems that even the ref was on high on something, deeming a kick that barely managed to land on the high elf side as a high kick. The High Elves had lined up on the other side of the field and it looked like the 'rippers were going to gain a quick possession, but thanks to good play they managed to fight the 'rippers off the ball and gain possession. A quick pass and a handoff later, the ball was in the hands of the high elf thrower standing poised to work his magic.
The Dark Elf defense had something to say about it though, with a witch elf making her way past the line and knocking out a catcher in the process. Still, not nearly close enough to pressure the ball catcher, just setting up to do so next turn.
A High Elf blitzer tried to punch a hole in the dark elf line and ended up getting a facefull of dirt for his trouble. This left a hole in the Baron's offense and the Dark Elves made damn sure to take advantage of it, ganging up on the thrower and then knocking him down with a pitch, the blocking blitzer himself taking the ball. He doesn't keep it for long though, as the Barons do some ganging up of their own and get it right back from him. The very next turn the High Elves lose possession again, and a melee ensues toward the sideline of the pitch. The dazed catcher manages to get to his feet throughout this mess and makes a desperate pass to a lineman too scared from his last encounter with dark elves to get involved in the fight. He then begins making his way down the field, his gimped hip reminding him of the beating he took last match with every step.
He wasn't nearly fast enough, a dark elf lineman broke from the crowd and then a witch elf followed shortly behind, hitting the high elf so hard that he threw the ball entirely out of bounds as he careened toward the ground. The crowd tossed it back in and the ball found it's way to the evil effeminate hands of the 'rippers once more. Standing out in the middle of the field with only a partner for support, the lineman looked like easy pickings for the two high elves that went for the blitz. It seems the pickings weren't easy enough, because the high elf catcher found himself eating turf once again, resulting in a curse-worthy turnover for the Barons. The other Dark Elves crowd around the carrier and run him down the field a ways, swatting off harassers as they go. Then, just at the very last step of the long run, the line elf carrying the ball falls on his ass right there on the goal line.
In typical high elf fashion, the ball is quickly snatched and thrown downfield to a catcher, who isn't quite in range of the goal-line himself. The 'rippers suffer a turnover on double skulls, giving the high elves a chance to cage up and guard their buddy. The match ends up coming to a close before they can make it downfield though, as only seconds were left on the clock as they took possession for the last time.
The game ends, with 1-0, going to the Robber Barons.
The Barons lost the toss up and so the Nutrippers chose to receive. Things started out rough when the Nutrippers took the ball up the side of the field and knocked Jay Gould out cold as they cleaved a path. It wasn't enough to throw the high elves off their defense game though, and so the 'rippers made a small cage and prepared for a struggle.
A high elf catcher's shoulder pads got to his head as he made a blitz for the dark elf ball carrier, making the heartbeat rationalization that he was just a chump runner anyway, I mean hell, he doesn't even have shoulder pads what can he do?! As he closed in the runner tossed the ball to a nearby witch elf and kicked the delusional catcher out cold.
With two high elves down, the dark elves ran their cage a few more yard down field and further to the sidelines. A brawl ensued with the Dark Elves coming out on top, and an assassin knocking out another foolhardy catcher with a knife, don't ask me how he does it, it happened! Just as the Dark Elves approached the goal line the High Elves made a line with their remaining players. It would have been easy enough for the dark elves to bust through, but in their vainglorious bloodlust resulted in them blocking the best path for the witch elf to run.
Unconcerned by her comrades' eagerness, she took the best opening she saw and found herself just a few yards from the goal line and with only a single blitzer and runner for cover. The High Elves lept on this opportunity, knocking her to the pitch and quickly throwing the ball downfield with a spectacular long pass. The Dark Elves could only throw muster a winded tantrum as the blitzer managed to run across the goal line, safely out of reach.
1-0
The Dark Elves line up, but their coach seems to have been dipping too heavily into her own witchbrew and totally forgot to notice that they were receiving, instead ordering them up for a defense. Luckily enough, it's a short kick and little ground is lost, but there isn't enough time in the half for a score to be made and so after some general roughhousing the half is up.
The High Elf players that got knocked out manage to get up and walk it off, bringing both teams to a full roster. The Dark Elves kick off again, and it seems that even the ref was on high on something, deeming a kick that barely managed to land on the high elf side as a high kick. The High Elves had lined up on the other side of the field and it looked like the 'rippers were going to gain a quick possession, but thanks to good play they managed to fight the 'rippers off the ball and gain possession. A quick pass and a handoff later, the ball was in the hands of the high elf thrower standing poised to work his magic.
The Dark Elf defense had something to say about it though, with a witch elf making her way past the line and knocking out a catcher in the process. Still, not nearly close enough to pressure the ball catcher, just setting up to do so next turn.
A High Elf blitzer tried to punch a hole in the dark elf line and ended up getting a facefull of dirt for his trouble. This left a hole in the Baron's offense and the Dark Elves made damn sure to take advantage of it, ganging up on the thrower and then knocking him down with a pitch, the blocking blitzer himself taking the ball. He doesn't keep it for long though, as the Barons do some ganging up of their own and get it right back from him. The very next turn the High Elves lose possession again, and a melee ensues toward the sideline of the pitch. The dazed catcher manages to get to his feet throughout this mess and makes a desperate pass to a lineman too scared from his last encounter with dark elves to get involved in the fight. He then begins making his way down the field, his gimped hip reminding him of the beating he took last match with every step.
He wasn't nearly fast enough, a dark elf lineman broke from the crowd and then a witch elf followed shortly behind, hitting the high elf so hard that he threw the ball entirely out of bounds as he careened toward the ground. The crowd tossed it back in and the ball found it's way to the evil effeminate hands of the 'rippers once more. Standing out in the middle of the field with only a partner for support, the lineman looked like easy pickings for the two high elves that went for the blitz. It seems the pickings weren't easy enough, because the high elf catcher found himself eating turf once again, resulting in a curse-worthy turnover for the Barons. The other Dark Elves crowd around the carrier and run him down the field a ways, swatting off harassers as they go. Then, just at the very last step of the long run, the line elf carrying the ball falls on his ass right there on the goal line.
In typical high elf fashion, the ball is quickly snatched and thrown downfield to a catcher, who isn't quite in range of the goal-line himself. The 'rippers suffer a turnover on double skulls, giving the high elves a chance to cage up and guard their buddy. The match ends up coming to a close before they can make it downfield though, as only seconds were left on the clock as they took possession for the last time.
The game ends, with 1-0, going to the Robber Barons.
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