Chefe
Erudite
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2005
- Messages
- 4,731
So, this game is pretty well liked 'round these parts, and with the enhanced edition and all I figured I would finally give old Geralt a go. I downloaded the demo and... don't see why this is considered to be a good RPG, or even an enjoyable G.
C&C? Don't make me laugh. There's the "advance the conversation" option and a "make the person hate you forever and never speak to you again" option. All other options are simple "What's that foozle?" and "Where's this place?" questions.
No C&C might make it a bad RPG, but what keeps the game from actually being enjoyable is the way dialog is implemented. You pick some "question" option and then are treated to a five minute conversation between Geralt and the NPC, totally out of your control. I don't like cutscenes, especially if they happen every single conversation. This game makes Mass Effect look like Torment.
Characters in the Witcher care less than characters in Morrowind. I didn't think such a feat could actually be possible, but it is. They also say the dumbest fucking things. I don't consider it immersive when I'm standing in a tavern and hearing "Dwarf cock!" shouted all over the place, then click on three completely different NPCs and hear them each say the same line about some boil remedy.
I won't even go into how Geralt seems to have a bad case of the "way too badass" syndrome.
Combat is gut-wrenchingly horrible. You stand there and click when your magic arrow lights up. If you're in a fight with multiple enemies they just hang around until you're done DDR-ing one guy before they move to attack you. There's no skill at all. Your health is way higher than everyone elses. You also have no control over what attacks you are performing, so you watch the same drawn out combo move every. single. time. There are multiple fighting styles, but that pretty much just means that when you see "fast ninja type enemy" you hit "fast mode", then proceed to click when the arrow turns fiery at the appropriate intervals.
Something also needs to be said about the women. The men in the game have all kinds of varied facial and body styles, but the women only come in two flavors - really fucking old and busty tavern wench. Okay, this is fine if you're using the game as some sort of medieval wanking material, but having 90% of the ladies look like they belong performing the pole in some Texas small town joint is really fucking stupid for anyone who doesn't consider their penis a gaming peripheral.
Why, Codex? Why do you like this?
C&C? Don't make me laugh. There's the "advance the conversation" option and a "make the person hate you forever and never speak to you again" option. All other options are simple "What's that foozle?" and "Where's this place?" questions.
No C&C might make it a bad RPG, but what keeps the game from actually being enjoyable is the way dialog is implemented. You pick some "question" option and then are treated to a five minute conversation between Geralt and the NPC, totally out of your control. I don't like cutscenes, especially if they happen every single conversation. This game makes Mass Effect look like Torment.
Characters in the Witcher care less than characters in Morrowind. I didn't think such a feat could actually be possible, but it is. They also say the dumbest fucking things. I don't consider it immersive when I'm standing in a tavern and hearing "Dwarf cock!" shouted all over the place, then click on three completely different NPCs and hear them each say the same line about some boil remedy.
I won't even go into how Geralt seems to have a bad case of the "way too badass" syndrome.
Combat is gut-wrenchingly horrible. You stand there and click when your magic arrow lights up. If you're in a fight with multiple enemies they just hang around until you're done DDR-ing one guy before they move to attack you. There's no skill at all. Your health is way higher than everyone elses. You also have no control over what attacks you are performing, so you watch the same drawn out combo move every. single. time. There are multiple fighting styles, but that pretty much just means that when you see "fast ninja type enemy" you hit "fast mode", then proceed to click when the arrow turns fiery at the appropriate intervals.
Something also needs to be said about the women. The men in the game have all kinds of varied facial and body styles, but the women only come in two flavors - really fucking old and busty tavern wench. Okay, this is fine if you're using the game as some sort of medieval wanking material, but having 90% of the ladies look like they belong performing the pole in some Texas small town joint is really fucking stupid for anyone who doesn't consider their penis a gaming peripheral.
Why, Codex? Why do you like this?