DwarvenFood
Arcane
Heard good things about Spintires, anyone here played it ?
There is some mess with publisher, check it. Other than that - it's glorious.Spintires
tryhard to be cool.Buleltstorm
Wasn't that thing killed off?Doesn't Bulletstorm still have GWFL as well? Definitely not going near it until that's patched out.
Wasn't that thing killed off?Doesn't Bulletstorm still have GWFL as well? Definitely not going near it until that's patched out.
I get annoying graphical glitches in Age of Empires 2
Are those editions really horrible?
Are the blurry graphics unbearable?
Are there really that many bugs?
Fucking Skyrim expansions never go lower than 50%. I hate you Pete.
Heard good things about Spintires, anyone here played it ?
The Eight Games You Will Buy and Never Play from the 2014 Steam Holiday Sale
8. One of the Metro games for under five dollars
Chance that you will buy it: 65%
Why you'll buy it: Every steam sale is required to offer huge discounts on at least three Metro games. Even though they only made two Metro games. They seem to multiply right around the Steam sale. This one has been HD remastered or bundled or something and these games always get such good reviews. Don't you want to walk around an endless sewer level populated with scripted events? It's just like actually visiting the real Moscow subway without all the gay assaults and teenagers passed out drunk in the middle of train cars.
Chance that you will play it: 20%
Why you won't play it: You either mistake the title in your Steam list for a city builder game, and you already have several of those you never play, or you will remember what it is and just keep thinking about how dreadful a whole game in a subway is going to be not knowing that you are also missing out on some really terrible dialogue.
7. Prison Architect for three dollars
Chance that you will buy it: 50%
Why you'll buy it: Pulling wings off flies was fun when you were a tween psychopath. Now you can subject entire populations of prisoners to the cruelty you once reserved only for Sims.
Chance that you will play it: 30%
Why you won't play it: There is no way you could devise a prison more cruel and effective than the crippling social anxiety that forces you to squander your brief life locked away playing gimmicky rogue-likes and survival zombie games. Prison Architect only serves as a reminder of the Netflix-gilded cage you have built yourself out of regrets and nachos.
6. A lame old first person shooter on sale for four dollars
See: Bulletstorm, Rage, Painkiller, Duke Nukem Forever
Chance that you will buy it: 90%
Why you'll buy it: Heyyyyy, these are the guys from that old game studio you used to like we're talking about. They couldn't possibly screw everything up. And some of these screenshots don't look half bad.
Chance that you will play it: 80%
Why you won't play it: Oh, you'll probably play it... for less than five minutes. After that point you will realize that they really did screw everything up as you drive a dune buggy in Rage's tiny world, listen to the teeth-grinding dialogue of Bulletstorm, blast another one of 50,000 skeleton witches in a Painkillergame, or actually interrupt the opening introduction of Duke Nukem Forever to Delete Local Content. These are all games that are worse than Call of Duty games and there are good reasons they cost four dollars. And there is no good reason Call of Duty: Ghosts does not cost four dollars.
5. Whatever Hitman or Splinter Cell game is on sale for 90% off
Chance that you will buy it: 70%
Why you'll buy it: You've probably bought one of these two games in the last few years and yet you somehow will manage to forget just enough of how much you hate them to get lured into buying a new one. Hey, these screenshots aren't so bad! Hey, it has a 72 rating and a "Mostly Positive" this must be a good one.
Chance that you will play it: 10%
Why you won't play it: Once you own a Hitman or Splinter Cell game purchased for almost nothing it becomes nearly impossible to mentally justify the time it will take to sneak past a guard. You're an adult playing a game where you wait for an NPC to complete a walking routine down a hallway. This is not why Jesus died to give us life. There aren't even cool ghost powers and steampunks around like you had to convince you to install that 90% off copy of Dishonored.
4. A survival game for eight bucks
See: The Forest, Rust, Neo Scavenger
Chance you will buy it: 75%
Why you'll buy it: Perfectly hits all your key interests in gaming such as merciless almost random permadeath, long hours spent crafting huts and chopping wood, managing water bottles in your inventory, dying from sunburn while trying to build a hutch for turtles, and trying to figure out the safest place to shit. Multiplayer adds a delightful layer of misanthropic hacker fuckwits for you to socialize with while they steal the shoes it took you ten real hours to craft.
Chance that you will play it: 20%
Why you won't play it: Still enjoying the clock that just counts down the hours you have left remaining in your life. 1,503! That seems like a lot, right?
3. A zombie survival game for for ten bucks
See: 7 Days to Die, Project Zomboid, How to Survive
Chance you will buy it: 85%
Why you'll buy it: You thought cutting wood for a hut was fun in those survival games, but now you realize how you can cut wood for a hut to protect yourself from zombies. These games take one of life's greatest pleasures (surviving life) and combine it with mankind's greatest foe: hackneyed zombie content intended for people incapable of dressing themselves.
Chance that you will play it: 25%
Why you won't play it: Although you are intrigued by the idea of finding clean drinking water in a world overrun by zombies, you are still busy playing that dang death clock. Ha ha. 1,502! This is wild.
2. Two different gimmicky rogue-likes and a pixel platformer for $1.64
Chance you will buy it: 80%
Why you'll buy it: What if every time you die in a rogue-like you could reverse time by ten seconds? What if a rogue-like uses your mp3s to construct levels? How about a rogue-like based on the entire history of jazz? Sure, sounds like fun, but there are also these 950,000 pixel platformers that all received Overwhelmingly Positive reviews from nostalgia cretins and have an insane difficulty level as an homage to great games like Castlevania, Kung Fu, and Kid Icarus. No, that's not placeholder artwork! It's final!
Chance that you will play it: 40%
Why you won't play it: You're tempted to play it, but you have decided to wait until it gets out of Early Access. Just another six years.
1. E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy is being sold for eight cents
Chance that you will buy it: 100% (or you own it already)
Why you'll buy it: As a Steam user, it is mandatory that you own a copy of this perpetually discounted cyberpunk first person shooter game. Buy it now or it will appear in your Steam inventory, forcing you to take the additional steps of activating it in your library.
Chance that you will play it: 0% (no human being has ever played this game)
Why you won't play it: If you think too hard about playing E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy, your E.Y.ES will E.X.P.L.O.D.E. out of your skull.
Honorable mentions: Some anime shit created in RPG maker, one of the dozen or so versions ofCivilization V, a terrible third-person action game like Remember Me, a hidden picture game that tricked you into clicking the store page by having a cool title like Fury of the Ancients, a re-release of an RPG game from 1995, one of those games where you just spin around and shoot at things (aliens, zombies) coming at you, a Paradox game that sells units as DLC, a turn based tactics game trying and failing to copy X-Com or Jagged Alliance, and a Doublefine game that seems like a super cool idea but will absolutely never be finished.
...and a Doublefine game that seems like a super cool idea but will absolutely never be finished.
There is no way you could devise a prison more cruel and effective than the crippling social anxiety that forces you to squander your brief life locked away playing gimmicky rogue-likes and survival zombie games. Prison Architect only serves as a reminder of the Netflix-gilded cage you have built yourself out of regrets and nachos.
Gaben tricked me into buying "The Wolf among us" for 66% on black friday - now this
Primordia and Gemini Rue are also 1$ cheaper.
How is Bastion? Animu emo crap or good gameplay?
Omerta is also cheap? Boring? Tolerable tb combat?
Most of that list is funny, but this part is just plain retarded.6. A lame old first person shooter on sale for four dollars
See: Bulletstorm, Rage, Painkiller, Duke Nukem Forever
Chance that you will buy it: 90%
Why you'll buy it: Heyyyyy, these are the guys from that old game studio you used to like we're talking about. They couldn't possibly screw everything up. And some of these screenshots don't look half bad.
Chance that you will play it: 80%
Why you won't play it: Oh, you'll probably play it... for less than five minutes. After that point you will realize that they really did screw everything up as you drive a dune buggy in Rage's tiny world, listen to the teeth-grinding dialogue of Bulletstorm, blast another one of 50,000 skeleton witches in a Painkillergame, or actually interrupt the opening introduction of Duke Nukem Forever to Delete Local Content. These are all games that are worse than Call of Duty games and there are good reasons they cost four dollars. And there is no good reason Call of Duty: Ghosts does not cost four dollars.
No. But I still think the vanillas are best played on a computer screen of their respective times.
Yes. And very low FPS when many units are on the screen. At least on a 2010 computer. Those games were released in early 2000 so this is quite unnerving.
One thing though, do you have any idea on how to run Rise of Nations? It seems with that game at least i seem to have no choice.