Did you miss Nine-Toes? Well he missed you. Which is why he's going to make up for it by investigating Lysandus in...
CHAPTER 5: THE ORC, THE WITCH, AND THE +5 HOLY AVENGER!
In this chapter, you will...
Be awed by the sheer force of the dwarven flail!
Watch our hero make several useless trips, but EPIC ONES!
Also watch him grab some phat loot!
And then watch him get the shit kicked out of him by the undead!
But remember, this chapter is not for the faint of heart! If you are
alarmed by arachnids, best to get the fuck out while you can!
Nine-Toes rests up in a close inn, then sets off for these Wrothgarian mountains to find this Mad Witch. It shall be an epic journey of... of...
Man, what? I got the idea here that these mountains were an isolated area or something. Well, shit... Might as well go to a town and ask around...
Well, it seems the women here are just as well-endowed as the ones in Daggerfall. A quick interrogation shows that nobody knows SHIT about the witch. So let's cart our asses back to Daggerfall...
Once there, Nine-Toes thinks it's about time to do a Fighter's Guild quest. He might be behind on quota.
Not Shown: the man giving the quest. He tells Nine-Toes to go to an inn and kick the shit out of spiders, apparently.
Spiders? What, is the innkeeper not wearing
shoes? Last I checked it doesn't take a Warrior to take on a spider. Jesus, people these days...
This must be it. Oh well. Time to go squish a spider.
"WHA WHAT!? You call that a spider?! You sure you didn't leave out one or two vital adjectives, such as
big and fucking, to describe the spider?!"
Nine-Toes still doesn't have trouble squishing it. He then declares "Squish, bitch!" which is what all heroes are required to do when killing any type of insect or arachnid.
He then heads back to the Fighter's guild to collect his fee.
Nine-Toes then ponders the situation. It seems at the moment, we've failed to go contact the witch, so the next logical step is to go to Castle Daggerfall. However, since it's getting late and Nine-Toes is in Daggerfall anyway, he decides to brave the dark midnight streets of Daggerfall to see this spirit of Lysandus...
"Here goes nothing..."
So far so good... Doesn't look to be any sign of danger. "Maybe I did something right?"
At this moment, a deep rumbling voice shouts "VENGEAAANCE!" It would appear that Brisienna was pretty accurate in her report. The shout is accompanied by another roar. Nine-Toes spins around to confront whoever approaches.
"Hello? Hey, wait a minute is that..."
Argh! A wraith! They weren't kidding when they said the ghosts and undead roam the streets!
Nine-Toes battles the wraith for his life, and manages to defeat it by a small margin. Whew!
This is all that remains of the ghost. Searching the remains, we find some type of were animal horn. Hm... intriguing. Also, disappointing, since we were obviously hoping for phat lewt.
Nine-Toes decides to go for a walk. While the wraith is slain, the words "VENGEANCE!" can still be heard every few seconds. It would seem that Lysandus' spirit is not easily excorcised.
Unfortunately, Nine-Toes walks outside the city gates and encounters...
"Aaaaaah! RUN AWAY!" This particular wraith hands Nine-Toes' ass to him, sadly. Fortunately, though, Nine-Toes had a save game several seconds earlier!
Let's go to Sentinel. As you may or may not be able to see, it's on the south side of the Bay, on the coast.
"Argh. This dry weather is bad for my flaky scaly skin. I knew I should've brought my oil of Olay!"
Soriosis or not, Nine-Toes knows he must brave the hot weather and make his way to the castle... stopping at several armories along the way, of course. I mean, he has to spend his cash on
something!
"Something about the shape of that castle makes me feel funny, but in a good way."
We walk in a bit, and we soon encounter...
"Hootchie-Momma! Man, if only I were a human. Anyway, you seen the queen?" Obviously, the image has been edited for work-safety. But yeah, I wasn't lying when I said nudity.
Ah, here we are. The throne room? Argh! No, after a bit more trekking, we come to it...
Nine-Toes humbly approaches the queen and starts to speak...
"Well fuck you too, frigid bitch!" Nine-Toes is sadly turned away. Even after performing a couple pointless side quests for chump change, they still don't seem to realize he's on an epic quest. Great. One useless trip in the bag.
At least their battlemages are hot.
Nine-Toes makes his way back to Daggerfall, in the daytime, this time. Let's get to the castle.
Here's a quick update on the character. As you can see, I decided to pick up the cloak again, and a better helmet. That golden flail is actually made of Dwarven metals. It's very powerful, as you'll note soon.
That must be the castle. We head on in...
"Pound sand, pal, I do what I want, I'm a mushroom cloud-laying mother fucker, motherfucker."
Good to see that Oblivion carries on the tradition of Elder Scrolls NPC's schedules involving staring at walls for hours on end, too.
Let's talk to the queen. We are given the option for a quest.
Seeing as how we want to finish this game within the next several years, we obviously accept. Refusing at this point can lead to an unwinnable game.
"Gee, that's not nearly enough time. I mean, it takes me a whole 15 days to get there..."
Oh yeah. Here we go.
The ominous situation we have here is but a foreshadow of the massive destruction and murder about to happen in this castle.
Nine-Toes finds the entrance and quickly jumps in. Ahead of him, he spots a door and approaches, attempting to open it.
"Bastards!"
Not to be dissuaded, Nine-Toes attempts to bash the door a bit. In case I didn't mention it, locked doors can be bashed open if you don't have the skill to pick the lock.
Alas, but to no avail. It appears this is no ordinary lock.
Nine-Toes spots a tabard by the door.
A riddle, it seems. We don't know the answer, sadly, so we can't get in. And sorry to break the fourth wall, but we shouldn't be able to see this riddle from OUTSIDE the door. There's actually a character on the other side who asks this question, and we're talking to them through the wall. Awesome!
Time to kick some ass.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SCENES MAY CONTAIN SERIOUS ASSKICKING THAT MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR WUSSIES! DISCRETION IS ADVISED, BUT NOT RECOMMENDED.
"Fuck you, magi, I'm Nine-Toes!" Probably worth noting here that Nine-Toes has absolutely no skill in magic. He has about 25 spell points in the dark and 15 in daylight, and all his spells cost about 40-50. Needless to say, he's not going to be casting anything anytime soon.
With all the asskicking, Nine-Toes even levelled up! Hooray! Level 4!
Great, another dungeon that winds on forever. I could cheat and tell the password to get through the door, but that would be lame.
Instead, I spend hours...
And hours...
And hours...
Searching for the room. Probably not time well spent. However, we will be returning here some time soon, so it's worth doing this quest.
Nine-Toes finally enters a nicely-made room. And then he is instanly blown to kingdom come by a pair of liches and a mage. I shit you not, there were 2 liches in that room, and they would paralyze Nine-Toes, then kill him in a single hit. That's about 60 damage in a single hit. Even if they didn't kill him in one hit, Nine-Toes cannot do anything, as his weapons are ineffective against liches. Great. Silver doesn't even affect them.
So what does he do?
He makes a mad dash for the witch, who seems obliged to share some of her creepy insane knowledge with us.
"Uhh... sure, you just keep doing your thing."
However, this cryptic remark is actually a very useful tidbit we should remember. It's hard to tell, but she's actually telling us the password to the door AND, apparently, Lysandus' crypt. If you didn't catch it, the password is "shut up." Yeah, I don't get it either.
We use the password on the skeleton guarding the door, then flee the liches and certain death.
It's certainly good to see Daggerfall again. Let's go get our flail from the queen.
I'm guessing that's the prince there, but he doesn't like me so he won't talk to me. The big jerk.
"Well that's strikes two and three right there, bucko." Still, Nine-Toes decides against killing her, seeing as how she's plot central, she's giving us a cool flail, and there are enough armed guards in the room to fill a galleon.
And what an awesome flail it is! It gives about +30 to Willpower, which is very handy for resisting spells, not to mention it's magical, so it can damage some creatures normally immune to normal weapons. Magnum upgrade!
Well the world is safe once... oh, I already said that. In that case, fuck the police.
Nine-Toes asks some random asshole about the news to see if anybody realizes how awesome he is.
But apparently, everybody seems annoyed that the pesky queen is trying to get rid of the ghosts wandering the streets at night killing people. What a total bitch!
Okay, here's what our stuff looks like now. As you can see, I found a really spiffy red cloak, and the greaves are actually upgraded to Elven steel, despite not looking as cool. Oh well.
Let's end this chapter on a Doom Comic Book note!
Awesome.
It would appear that the spirit of Lysandus causes deadly ghosts and wraiths to appear upon the streets of Daggerfall at night. This is troublesome indeed! What will become of the people of the good city? Will Nine-Toes really manage to catch up with Lysandus' killer? Will giving Lysandus the vengeance he cries out about finally put his spirit to rest? Was there even an Orc or a Holy Avenger in this chapter at all? All these questions will be answered in the chapters to come, and possibly in the next chapter...
CHAPTER 6: OH COME ON, YOU CAN'T EVEN HEAR ME STEALING IT! STUPID PSYCHIC GUARDS!
Note: You see, it's funny because it's actually a Dwarven flail! It totally was not a typo/mistake on my part at all!
