Pretty good timing there because
Warning in advance: this is a very favourite-song-friendly update
oooh hello sailor
I rarely notice game music, but one of the space travelling tracks is really good. Absolutely unfitting to space travel, of course, but upbeat and merry and catchy. Just thought I'd let you all know. I boogie to it.
Ranger Mutterer has been convicted of crimes so slight they didn't even bother naming them.
This is the kind of person who's
showing me up.
I trade in some Dominator nodes (bits and bobs that come off their corpses). My rating has improved! I feel like a true Space Ranger now.
To wander the galaxy, indebted to no man, fighting injustice and tyranny wherever it lurks. The Man With No Name, the eternal freedom fighter. Wherever the fire of liberty burns, the Dominators (more like neocons) shall never triumph. :tearofaneagle:
Oh fuck off
I buy a couple of new parts, with the main objective of clearing up some hold space; new radar, new gripper, both a good bit better and considerably smaller. Nothing too exciting.
Buy a couple of probes to explore uninhabited planets...
And decide to make a name for myself by discovering, erm, Saturn. Pretty sure that should've been explored pretty thoroughly by now. Oh well.
This bit's not very interesting. But you might find it interesting. I do. So there.
Basically, you select an area for the probe to cover, depending on the probe's qualities and the makeup of the planet. As with a lot of things in this game, you're pretty much left to work out the details for yourself. My other probe
seems to only be good for covering plains, which Saturn doesn't have, so I just put out the better (and heavier) one and head off to let it do its thing.
Here you can see me being hit by a fucking meteor. This happens all the fucking time. Fuck.
:ecowarrior:
No sooner have I got off the planet than the hippy is demanding I help him fight a bunch of pirates who aren't actually attacking him. Great. Thankfully, the pirate just lands on a planet after being slightly grazed and given a mild nosebleed, as they do, and my charge forgets he ever existed. We move on.
I decide to leave him to his own devices for a bit, keeping an eye on him all the same, and another guy asks me to help him against one of those puny-looking pirate corsair things. I decide to have a chat with it first.
(now play: our favourite song)
Did he really just use a smiley
really
there's only one fitting punishment here really
boom boom boom wee
see all those numbers
that's damage
I'm doing to
him
see that nice shiny 43
I idly wonder if there are any repercussions to taking the money then blowing him up anyway. But Cadet Crotchduster is a man of honour, so he just...
...slaughters the hapless fool begging for his life? Well, at least he didn't trick him out of his money first. That's what counts.
Why not? We're on a roll here, men. Crotchduster is finally asserting his true place in the galaxy.
Let the pirates quake! Let the Dominators tremble! Leave no dick unlicked!
Crotchduster cometh!
Also where the hell is the guy I'm guarding.
Oh.
Him again, eh? Come, fool, face the wrath of Crotchdus...
Or land on a planet you could do that too.
Quite a haven of activity we have here. Probably because this is the only system that's going to
last another week.
I'm really not sure where this guy is going. Well, I'm sure he can survive a week by himself, so I'll head back to the planet for my reward.
Wha... what? What? What the fuck? What the fuck is this?
He's even repeating himself. What the fuck.
I was kind of hoping the reward would repeat itself too. But it didn't. Okay, I'm getting the fuck out of here. Even in the great utopian future, Earth is still a bewildering idiocracy. This is like that thing Cleve was talking about.
Let's see where I am on the ranger rankings...
Sigh.
I'll catch you soon, fucker. Least I'm still ahead of Bitchboy.
Bitchboy... there's some unfinished business.
On my way to the next galaxy over, I stumble across a black hole. Hmm.
Why not? It ended so well last time.
pew pew pew
zoom zoom zoom
budda budda budda
weee vroom vroom
You know, I'm beginning to think the whole black hole thing symbolises a psychedelic trip. Too many flashing colours and shit. And health pickups. And
pills. The
ship eats
pills.
The setting represents the id, the uncoordinated, random, instinctual part of the brain. It forms itself into wackee and incomprehensible shapes and colours. The ship represents the super-ego; attempting to triumph over the chaos of the id and return safely to normal reality. The uh... the pickups are the ego, helping the ship along and... the enemy ship represents... The Fear?
I'm onto something.
Having made everyone who actually knows anything about psychology cry helplessly, I finish off my opponent - symbolising the triumph of the self over existential crisis and resolute will defeating unreasoning instinct - and make my way back to reality.
You know, I'm never sure where these things
are. I don't think I get them automatically, but nothing came out of the ship. Oh well.
Okay, if last time is anything to go by...
Yep.
Yep. I'm in the one system that's under attack.
Yep.
Well, I'm right next to the galaxy exit, so I could actually flee this time, but...
Cadet Crotchduster does not flee.
Who are they to challenge me? Two stupid little pod things and something that looks more fragile than those corsairs I was taking out without any damage? Ha ha ha!
ow fuck
Note to self: pod things pack a fucking punch. Target them first.
But wait! Who's that, emerging from the planet below, to flee the scene of battle like a coward... like a...
...Bitch.
That's it. He can hate me for no apparent reason, but to leave a fellow ranger to die at the hands of Dominators? At least I'd have the courage to take him out personally.
And, given that if he emerges from that planet and I'm not there to distract them, dying at the hands of Dominators is exactly what will happen to him...
Looks like I'll have to fight my way through their army just to get my final revenge.
And that suits me just fine.