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You're an asshole, Nelson. Annoying spectral asshole.
For the first time in your life, you're doing a good deed. How does it feel?
I'm cold, tired, angry. And hungry.
How can you eat and sleep when your base is not finished?
Let me show you how. *nom nom*
Your power crisis is history. Batteries have enough energy to last you through the night.
Still, I suggest you finish second solar generator and set two or three additional batteries. Safer this way. More reliable.
I suggest you all shuddup and let me sleep. What's that?
Another ugly-ass snowman. Kind of resembles Azira, no?
Yes. Frozen to death.
9th of Winter, 5501
Wake up, komrades! Let the joyful labour begin! What the
Gotta appreciate the weather.
*yawns* And here I was wondering, what would make my life even better? Now I know. More snow. *sigh* Huh? Le fuck is that?
Apparently, Grimwulf was dominating the shovel this whole night.
Grimwulf? Digging graves, burying strangers?
Truly a man of passion he is.
What a waste of perfectly good emergency meat.
Meanwhile.
Good morning, friend.
Ho-ho, dobroe utro! High five!
Uh?
You clap my hand, like tha-- Nevermind.
Huh. How is Plan E going along?
Plan E, replace all the Kollonists with 'women'.
... I don't think it's a good plan, Dreaad.
What? Nonsense. It's perfect.
Are you talking about me, boys?~
L-lacgirl? Uhh, why are you holding a rifle?
Tee-hee, relax, you silly. I'm going outside to hunt something beefy, since we're running out of meat. Care to join me, Dreaady?
Me? No. Sorry. Important stuff needs to be done here.
Like what?
... Squatting.
Why don't you ask Dr. Azira to accompany you, lacgirl? He is a seasoned hunter and a fine sharpshooter. Unfortunately, he is also sadistic and vengeful tormentor.
We all have our issues, right? *psshhh* Azira, this is lacgirl. Wanna make a bet?
*pshh* Listening.
First one to hunt any big game and bring it back wins.
I'm in.
What? Am I suppose to mine all that steel on my own?
What's on the table, lacgirl?
A blowjob.
... And what if you win?
*giggles*
Later that morning.
Hey! Not fair!
What's the matter, grandpa? *bang* Find it hard to catch up with young and ambitious?
So you want to play it like that, huh? Alright. What are we hunting?
Muffaloes. *bang*
You have no chance, gramps. Give it up. *bang* Damn, missed again!
The ignorance of the young. Watch and learn, girlie. *bang*
What's up with the weather?!
A flashstorm. The gods of space themselves are watching us!
*bang* A-ha! Mine is downed!
Good one. *bang* Mine is dead.
FUCK!
See you later. And don't be too upset, your aim ain't that bad.
The flashstorm is over.
HEY! WAIT UP! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A REMATCH TOMORROW!
Not interested.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING!
I'll think about it.
Meanwhile.
*yawns like a fucking Chtulhu*
Komrade Wulf!
That's Kommissar for you. Keep those stone blocks coming.
Tovarish Grimwulf! How r u feelin' today?
I feel surrounded by good-for-nuthin' lazy bastards. Work dat broom harder, Dreaad.
Yeah, yeah. *mumbles* Недолго тебе осталось править.
What was that?
Ahem. Any other tasks for me today, Kommissar?
Let me consult the voices.
...
Why is lacgirl sleeping in the kitchen? Move her bed to the House of Edgelords, Dreaad.
A bit later.
Doctor Azira?
What have you done to that creature?
*sigh* It's call "hunting", Ryan. We kill animals for food, furs, and fun.
Killing for fun is your specialty, doctor.
Psst. Azi-bro. Com'ere.
What?
Next time you go hunting with lacgirl, is there a chance of an... accident? Like, a bullet to the head? Unfornutate ricochet?
Accidents happen all the time. Kalin can confirm. But I'll try to avoid them, because lacgirl is capable of cooking. And I'm not talking about Grimwulf's testicle shashlik. I'm talking about edible and even somewhat tasty food. I'm glad to have her around.
Later that day.
So. How was your hunting, lacgirl?
Not bad, Dreaady, you muffin. Azira is cool. Way better than that eyefucker Kalin.
Right. Grimwulf told me to move your bed to our humble abode.
You and I will sleep together at last!
Uh, yeah. Sure. You and I. And Azira. And Kalin. And hello friend.
Awww. I'd love us to have some privacy, but if that's how you want it...
Sorry, duty calls! Let's chat another time! *grabs the bed and power walks outside*
There. As far away from me as possible.
Another productive day.
We're finally making some progress. Of course it wouldn't be possible without me, for I am the Kolony. That's what my old man told me once. "Grim, you are not a man. You are a colony". He's a heavy drinker.
Anyway, others are doing what they can. Lacgirl can handle a rifle, as well as frying pan.
Kalin and Azira help a great deal with all manner of tasks. Not to mention the effort they put into defending this place against human and deer alike.
Even that green guy, whatever his name was, cuts stone blocks like a boss.
If only he could walk a bit faster. Oh, well. Can't have everything.
The only completely useless person around is Dreaad. Fucking Dreaad.
Fucking Dreaad.
Is he pestering you? Maybe a club to the head will be proper?
Nah. It's just annoying, you know?
I know. The guy ain't doing shit, wants some kind of "share" from the treasury, and the only woman-ish creature around loves him blindly.
Maybe we should consider banishing?
Why banish if we have unoccupied cryo caskets?
Hm. That's an idea. *psshhh* Grimwulf?
*psshh* I'm busy, over and out.
Now. Where were we?
You're doing it all wrong. Both terminals will barely connect to any cables due to the weird shape. And don't even get me started on separators! They should be made of reinforced fiber or synthetic resin, while yours is... what is it even?
Probably Azira's magic socks. Who cares? Look, it works.
Grimwulf.
*sigh* It's the crazy gravedigger again. Leave me the fuck alone, Nelson, or I will shout the most unfathomable Russian swearings until your ears bleed out.
You are standing on a dead body.
Oh? That explains the soft ground underneath me. Must be Kalin's emergency meat.
WHAT?!
Ehh, emergency meat. Meat that you eat in case of emergency.
You sick fucks.
What kind of "emergency" can possibly force you to eat people?! BURY THIS MAN AT ONCE!
In all honesty, this guy has been chillin' here almost half a year now. Yeah, I wouldn't eat this meat even in case of emergency. Might as well drag him outside.
Dig a grave. Bury this man. Where are you going? Grimwulf!
Fuck off!
Huh? Err, sorry. I was standing on your way, I guess.
Yo, Grim! Have you seen the fires to the west, where the flashstorm struck? The snow is burning! You can say that our frozen progress is now on fire, хахахаха ха ха. Ха.
Who is this guy, Grim? I don't like his eyes.
Well, I don't like your constant presence - do you hear me complain? No. Want to know why? Because chit-chat is a waste of time. Now shut up and let me work.
Hm. Okay. *mumbles* Prick.
Later that evening.
No! This cord should connect to the motion alarm system, not to the gun control unit!
Seriously, Servant. What do I have to do for you to GO AWA-- I mean, final rest or whatever?
You can start with building this turret and making it work properly.
Done.
Now the second one.
That's just foul play.
Err, what do you mean, Grim?
Ignore him, Azira. Grimwulf has clearly lost it. One of these days, we'll have to put him out of his misery.
Seems like our NEED FOR STEEL is covered for now. About time too. My back hurts like a motherfucker.
Hello friend is doing a good job with stone cutting, I must say.
He ain't so bad, after all. Not the worst one around. And not nearly as deranged as Grimwulf. Fucking Grimwulf.
For fuck's sake, Grimwulf. What are you doing right now?
Protection. For the power station.
I hereby name thee Dimitry "Four Dicks" Grimsson. You will stand here and protect this marvel of engineering for eternity. So be it.
... I'll just go to sleep. Yeah.
Heeey. Grimwulf, Kalin...
Where do you think you're going at this hour?
Umm, towards my bed?
I'm keeping an eye on you, Dreaad. Go inside the house. Now.
Fine, fine...
Phew, she is asleep already. Close call.
Where is Azira and hello friend? If they dare to wake me up, I swear...
Meanwhile.
I'm feeling fine, Doctor Azira. Thank you.
Are you sure? Your skin looks green, Ryan. Why don't you lay down and let me tend to this issue?
My skin is perfectly tinted, Doctor. Please, don't touch me.
Full skin replacement.
Nooooo!! *runs inside the House of Edgelords, slams the door shut with a thundering sound*
All in all, things are going well, albeit a bit slow.
Lacgirl and Azira have gone killing spree on muffaloes recently. Damn muffaloes. Of course they are not as cunning and violent as deers, but these creatures are vengeful too.
My kommie senses are tingling this night. An enemy is nearby.
The air smells bad. It smells of capitalism and liberty. Can't sleep tonight. Gonna get myself a snack.
10th of Winter, 5501
If it isn't the Kommissar himself. Good morning!
How's it going in the kitchen, woman?
We have enough food to provide for a small army.
Wish we had one.
You've managed to make it this far. Surely your Kolony is capable of defending itself.
I'm the only grizzled veteran here. SPACE MARINE! Apart from me, well... Azira is a good shot, and Kalin is an expendable brawler. That's it.
I can handle a gun too.
Hmprf. We'll see when the time comes. Meanwhile, go train your skillz on muffaloes.
Wait, do you hear that..? Gunshots!
Sounds like my turret!
We are under attack!
Naah, it was probably Kalin passing by. I forgot to add him into the authorized personnel list. Was going to do it today, but...
Good morning to you too, asshole.
I'll go check it out. Promise me to take care of Dreaad if I die out there.
No promises.
Dreaad is on his own.
Uhhh, good morning.
What's so good about it?
Another day of joyful labor. Aren't you entertained, Kalin?
Where is lacgirl? I thought she was with you?
Gone to check that ruckus outside. If I fucked up with turret settings, she's probably dead by now.
AWRIGHT then! Kalin, you and Azira go find me some components, I need them to finish the second turret.
I expect a bonus for that.
Corporal Greenball, you keep cutting those stone blocks like a pro.
Will do, Kommissar Wulf.
As for me, I got a wall to build. Make way!
Hey, Fellow Rand.
Hello friend.
Whatever. I don't like that look in your eye. If I see you looking at me like that, I'll club you unconscious. Is that clear?
Can't we just get along, mr. Kalin? Can't you be a bit more... social?
You're a good kid, Herr Fiend.
Hello friend.
I used to be a kind person like you. But then I got a deer hoof to the right eye.
I, uhh... I see.
Be careful around here, is all I'm sayin'. It would be very unfortunate if something heavy hits your head six or seven times while you're sleeping. And then in the morning, we shall all wonder, why did that green guy commit suicide?
Maybe I should sleep in the freezer?
Maybe you should, friend. Maybe you should.
Later that morning.
*pssshhh* DREAAD, you lazy arsehole, where are you?! I need more granite blocks!
*psshhh* Coming!
Patience is not one of Grimwulf's virtues. You'd better make haste, Dreaad.
*panting* I hate you, guys. Why can't we make elections or something? Maybe a new leader, someone young and ambitious, can make the Kolony prosper!
*yanws and stretches* You worry about delivering blocks, and we oldfags will worry about politics. Hey, Kalin!
Hey yourself. My whole body hurts like you won't believe.
What are we diggin' today?
Compacted machinery, looking for components. Man. This stuff is tougher than my buttcheeks. Good thing you're finally here to help.
... Heh. Yeah. Hm.
*psshhh* Azira, you old pervert, so how about that rematch?
I kind of waited for you at first. *bang* But then I thought you died of old age on your way here.
I'm not the one who dies today. *bang* He is.
HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE?!
Years of experience, young lass. Try to catch up.
WAIT! *bang* MINE IS DOWNED!
If I waited for you, I would definitely die of old age.
Shieeet, that's a fat one, Azira.
Why, thank you. Hello there, Ryan.
Don't mind me, Doctor Azira. Pretend I'm not here. Please?
Meanwhile.
It's pretty gud, no?
A German tank could break through this sorry excuse of a wall without even losing acceleration.
You know, recently I tried to remember, why did I like you in the first place?
Because of the price?
No, because it was easy to forget you even exist!
Stop it, you two.
Shut up, Nelson. Can't you see I'm talking to my other hallucination?
Later that day.
Azira! Feels good to talk to a living human at last.
Err, yeah. Good to see you too, Grim.
Working that shaft, eh?
... Diggning a tunnel, yes.
Keep up the good work then.
Later that evening.
The cord--
No.
The power uni--
Shut up!
DON'T CONNECT THA--
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!
Oh, wow. That's the first time I see someone putting so much emotion in turret construction.
You should take it easier, Grimbro.
Hmrpf. *kicks the turret* Work, damn you. There you go!
Riiight. See you later?
Later.
Dreaad, you are the most useless, lazy, good-for-nuthin' buttcarrier in the whole Kolony.
*mumbles* I hate you grognards...
Why don't you do something useful for a change? If you want to eat potatoes in the Summer, you'd better start working right now!
Don't be so harsh, Kommissar Wulf. Dreaad is doing his best.
HARSH? You want too see something harsh? I'll show you...
Umm, this is an ugly chair you're making, Kommissar Wulf. No offense.
Not ugly. Just harsh.
Later that evening.
They don't like you, Dreaad. Was it also a part of your plan?
Plan R, yes. Fill them with hate and wait until it kills them from inside! ХАХАХаха. Ха. Get it?
... Maybe you would let me come up with a plan?
You have no experience with such things, hello friend. Leave it to me. Anyway, what's Grim doing?
Making another chair, I think.
You need help, Grimwulf. Urgent. Professional. Help.
Hurrrr. My hand is being possessed.
*sigh* A sorry excuse for that... abomination you've engraved on the chair. Fucking hell, Grimwulf.
Herp. Kalin, call somebody pronto. I'm serious.
HERR FIEND!! GREEN GUY!! Go tend to Grimwulf, he is going mental again!
Kommissar Wulf!
Phew. It passed away. What do you think of the chair?
... Oh.
I've called it... Affection. Look at her. Look at the solitary aunt.
Ummm....
Look closer.
Kommissar, I--
Now SIT on her, corporal. SIT ON HER!
Please, I just want to cut stone blocks!
SIT!! Do you feel the devastation?! DO YOU FEEL IT?!
Later that night.
Iron shortage my ass.
And not a single prick said, "Thank you, Kalin! Thank you for doing all the work!"
YOU'RE WELCOME!!!
Oh, god!
Kalin? What the hell?
Not cool, man! I was sleeping.
Dreaady? Since you're awaken anyway...
Power station is done.
Temporary turret solution is done.
Second Prosperwall is almost done.
By the time I finish it, Azira will dig a shortcut tunnel to the fort construction site. We have plenty of stone blocks and steel to build at least essential part of it quickly, especially if I build it together with Azira.
I've been thinking a lot on how to make it perfect and unbreachable. I've even consulted Servant, although he mostly talks gibberish. Anyway, this is the result:
Will take a lot of time to complete it, but it's worth it. This fort is both the face and the ass of our Kolony. And thus we must take it seriously.
If the enemy comes, they will have to go through narrow corridor towards the entry doorway.
We shall scatter debris all over the place to slow them down. Probably trap the corridors too. We should do our homework first, though - research some advanced traps.
As soon as the enemy shows his face, he'll get shredded by turrets and kommunists.
We shall use granite columns and sandbags as our cover. Nine turrets in total, on a safe distance from each other. If I place them any closer and one of the turrets will end up destroyed, it will provoke a chain explosion and take out several others, if not all of them.
Given enough time, the killing grounds can be filled with debris. But even the snow alone will slow down the enemy a good deal.
First of all, we shall build an armory.
But it will be used as a workshop for now. There will be a stonecutter's bench for corporal Greenball to cut stones and stock blocks in the same place, near the construction site.
Crematorium to store corpses and burn them occasionally. We can't bury eveyone, and I don't care what Nelson says.
Battery rooms are necessary. Ideally I want this fort to have its own power supply, but we can connect it to our currently operating power station for the time being.
Also, mortars. Mortars are needed.
I should consult the voices and maybe the kolonists on any suggestions, additions or fuck-ups of this project. Except for Dreaad. Goddamn Dreaad.
Now that I look at it, I should probably leave more space in here...
Kind of like this.
Oh, well. Anyway, the Kolony must give this project a name. Coz every gud fortification in the history of mankind had a name. The suggestions with most potatoes brofists wins.
And yeah, we gotta decide what to do with Kimmy. She's frozen all right. Now what?
1. Let her stay there forever just for lulz. Or as an emergency deep-frozen meat.
2. Wait until a slaver comes by, sell her for a silver coin or two (she is worthless).
3. Wait until we get meds, unfreeze her, harvest for organs.
4. Unfreeze and let go. The experiment is over.
5. Unfreeze, heal, and let go. Good relations are important.
6. Unfreeze, heal, and recruit. Fail miserably.
Leave her for now; wait until we've got enough people frozen from her faction to turn relations non-hostile in one go.
Also, a suggestion re:the fort: Use metal instead of metal slag as debris. The slag slows them down twice as much (Metal slows to half speed, slag slows to a quarter), but it also provides them with significant cover (40%). On top of that, metal is indestructible and slag has only 300hp, as well as the point that slag can be melted down to 10 metal, while you can place single pieces of metal via unbuilt and canceled conduits, which can then be forbidden to keep it in place.
Again, the figure approaches. Its movements are still mechanical. The surroundings, they are unclear. Like, out of focus. Something huge is on the background, but you can't make it out, it's like opaqueglass.
Good, Grimwulf. Good. He is pleased. Still not enough. Still not strong. Power, Grimwulf. Power and the will to use it. Be smart. Let the girl sleep in the casket. When she will be awakened, she will see. Like Lenin from Old Earth, she will see what you will have built by then.
Walls are great. The Project, better. But remember. Enemy is crafty. Is observing.
They can jump over walls. Germans are smart. Maybe their tanks will appear inside base. Keep training. Keep discipline. Iron will. And traps.
You talk of advanced traps. That is good talk. Revolutionary talk. Build traps. Let them die on the fruits of the Workers' toil.
Yes. That is better. Mortars. Artillery. Hitting from the skies, not like Thunderbolts of weak effeminate Gods, but like angry fists of the Proletariat. Yes.
Endure, Grimwulf. Build and toil. Fight. Can you imagine the results?
The surroundings now are clearer. Everything is sharper. You can see shapes. You can feel the cold. You can see something great. Something.
Can you see, Grimwulf? CAN YOU SEE? THE MAGNIFICENT AND PROGRESSIVE DESTINY OF HUMANKIND?
You wake up.
Tbh, I have no ideas about naming. I am shit at it.
Well since *someone* buried all our backup rations I say keep Kimmy around for emergency nom nom!
Also great, just great, of course we need a massive fort, not like we could use private rooms or anything, nope, no way, better have me haul and dig fucking Steel Masada out of thin air!
Seems like killbox area big enough for roof-fall trap. Make area roofed (build door and keep it open) and build wooden pillar in the middle. Enemies will swarm here seeking cover, but since it's wooden it get destroyed quickly under fire. Falling roof traps cheap (only little wood for pillar expended) and deal decent damage against humans. Not so much against centipedes thought. Talking about centipedes - need defense against them too. This killbox will not hold against them.
About Kimmy - i still suggest try heal and recruit her. You can't predict what kind of shite RNG throw at you - and she is capable doctor right here.
If I fill the entire are with singular units of steel, will the enemies even drop loot? I'm sure that items can be dropped on top of steel slags, but not so sure about steel itself.
It will be more than enough to deal with centipedes. Main damage comes from kolonists, not from turrets. Kolonists have very safe and effective positions up top, and enemies will ignore them completely until all turrets will be destroyed.
Not like it matters, since you never know where will the centipedes drop.
Let's call the fortress Crasters Keep The Gates of Freedom. That's what they are. Enter, and experience freedom from the tyranny of capitalism! Freedom to pursure true Kommunistic ideals. Freedom to sleep in the kommunal barracks. Yes. It's what every sane person would want.
Seems like killbox area big enough for roof-fall trap. Make area roofed (build door and keep it open) and build wooden pillar in the middle. Enemies will swarm here seeking cover, but since it's wooden it get destroyed quickly under fire. Falling roof traps cheap (only little wood for pillar expended) and deal decent damage against humans. Not so much against centipedes thought. Talking about centipedes - need defense against them too. This killbox will not hold against them.
Eh, centipedes are best dealt with in the open; don't expect any static defense to hold up against more than a loner. A basic raid with'em is pretty straight forward with some survival rifles and sniper support, though the scythers can be a bitch, but if they happen to land in your base, kill boxes become irrelevant and you better hope you have an emp grenade handy.
If I fill the entire are with singular units of steel, will the enemies even drop loot? I'm sure that items can be dropped on top of steel slags, but not so sure about steel itself.
While I can't speak for large fields of steel, though it'd be easy to test in dev mode (Just tested with an 11x11 patch of metal and items dropped outside the field), I can say that dropped items often appear on the outside of my entrance corridor when people die on the inside. This is a move that involves a couple tiles of steel and a wall.
Metal's metal, and you know as well as I do how quickly you can burn through stocks of it. It might not seem like much, but with nine turrets putting out 27 rounds at 10 damage a pop, the damage to the slag quickly adds up. Not only does this mean you're destroying metal, but you've gotta haul new slag to replace it. And if you're laughing at me being concerned about the loss of ten metal, I seriously doubt you're the type of player to micro damaged slag to minimize steel losses.
Not only that, but you'd be able to cover the entire kill box with debris with only two hauls using power conduits, while hauling the slag would take ages without animal hauling support.
That's basically his point: Wood walls have very little hp, and if they hide behind it for cover, it'll quickly get destroyed and collapse the roof on them.
Lacgirlgrad, you have to ask? That is where you poke, I poke, enemies poke.
On the survey, 1. We still got three other cryokits, we dont have enough meds, we dont have skilled doctor, we dont have enough food to feed an useless mouth for long. Keep her in the kit and wait~
, so another update is coming. With KEY CHOICES, naturally.
