A Fistful of Collars: BEASTMASTURBATION

[Crooked Bee]

(Suddenly I feel much more experienced after answering a simple riddle...weird.)

RPGs, duh.

 

[abnaxus]

How did you gain all those Exp for training?

Scribing a shitload of mage scrolls to his spell book.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Muahahaaa, the true banality of Aerie's romance only strikes you if you do it like that! :D

Moar updatan!

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

This LP is a new Codex milestone:

Shepard has finally encountered the Djinn.

 

[Esquilax]

Amazing, but I have one major bone to pick with you, Mr. Murrow:

I was promised an EXTREME playthrough and I was expecting an EXTREME makeover. So then I must ask why I got Mace Windu when I wanted JULES MOTHERFUCKING WINNFIELD?!?!?

 

[Wyrmlord]

Do people in these games ever stop talking?

I have played Planescape: Torment, so it must seem silly that I say so. But wow.

Reading that entire Aerie "My wings have been clipped" sequence followed by the dream sequence and some more memories of wings being clipped, I felt nauseated by the fact that it seemed to never stop. It is not treated as a brief amusing distraction from the game. It is treated as a core feature of a game. Why else would such lengthy talks come from that lady?

I don't want to attack the tastes of the many posters who enjoy narrative in games, since they still have otherwise strong arguments to back up their views, but surely they would feel as disoriented as I would reading those 1800 words of endless self-pity.

Even the characters in the sentimental Knights of the Old Republic games seem more muted and at ease, by comparison. Melirinda's romance mods for NWN2 seem like mature adult talk, compared to this Aerie.

But I have, Motherfucker Shepard, I have! I...I just don't have the strength! I'm so useless...

So much expressed in so many ellipses.

 

[Excidium]

Aerie has to be the most annoying character in the history of role playing games.

Whining about losing your wings at a guy that got his fucking soul stolen? yeah...

 

[Wyrmlord]

So she is an exceptional case? Fine.

I would still take to task every supposedly elite roleplaying game fan with whom I used to converse at BioWare forums, and ask them why they would ever consider Baldur's Gate 2 to be a "well written" game.

This is good writing? Are these the typical standards of a computer roleplaying game fan? If so, our kind deserves all the mockery, ridicule, scorn, stereotyping, and marginalisation it deserves.

My heart clenches at the thought, but we must stop ourselves going down this path. I need to...find more about myself...before I can attach myself to another. I hope...you understand.

Baldur's Gate 2: the pinnacle of roleplaying games as high literature.

 

[Excidium]

Writing in BG2 is really nothing special. And as you can see it can be quite awful sometimes, Aerie is really the worst of the bunch.

Only character I liked in that game is Jaheira.

 

[abnaxus]

Who at BioWare wrote Jan Jansen?

I'm guessing Gaider wrote all the romance BS.

 

[RK47]

you've successfully resurrected my childhood trauma of Aerie's Romance...the fact that her name so closely resemble Aerith only burns me moar.

 

[Excidium]

Oh yeah, jan was nice too. Keldorn wasnt bad either, and that issue with his wife and kids was interesting.

 

[MicoSelva]

Finally, an update, and a rather surprising one as well. I did not expect our hero to become a mage.

As much as I love Baldur's Gate, I was never able to endure Aerie's romance. Luckily Motherfucker Shepard's superior resistance to bullshit made him survive it. Good job.

Nice touch with the Harbinger, btw.

Looking forward to next episodes.

 

[ghostdog]

Don't be surprised if in 9 months you suddenly come across a brown winged half-elf blond motherfucker baby Shepard.

 

[Wyrmlord]

+

=

http://www.makemebabies.com/viewbaby.ph ... _name=&o=s

 

[RK47]

sigh...close up of her hair....god..how much shit is that on her hair.

 

[spekkio]

Whoever wrote this:



So this is "one of the best cRPGs ever"?

 

[Excidium]

Well, it's pretty decent if you don't recruit Imoen, Nalia and Aerie.

 

[abnaxus]

Nalia isn't so bad, and she becomes badass in Throne of Bhaal.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Even though BG2's writing is mediocre-to-bad (which is why I prefer the much better written NWN2), there's nothing that compares to the horror that is Saerileth. I request this LP is rebooted at once so you can play through the Saerileth mod instead so Codex will know true terror.

EDIT: And I'd say Jan and Anomen are just as bad or worse than Imoen and Nalia.

Actually, it's good to point out that Bioware ALWAYS wrote characters around a single element. It didn't stumble into mind-boggling retardation in BG2, but you can clearly see it with one thing defining every character.

 

[Cassidy]

Even though BG2's writing is mediocre-to-bad (which is why I prefer the much better written NWN2), there's nothing that compares to the horror that is Saerileth. I request this LP is rebooted at once so you can play through the Saerileth mod instead so Codex will know true terror.

EDIT: And I'd say Jan and Anomen are just as bad or worse than Imoen and Nalia.

Actually, it's good to point out that Bioware ALWAYS wrote characters around a single element. It didn't stumble into mind-boggling retardation in BG2, but you can clearly see it with one thing defining every character.

Is this like Merilinda? Or worse?

 

[GarfunkeL]

Saerileth is even worse than Merilinda

 

[Edward_R_Murrow]

there's nothing that compares to the horror that is Saerileth. I request this LP is rebooted at once so you can play through the Saerileth mod instead so Codex will know true terror.

I would....except that mod, and most character mods, is a buggy mess. I can tolerate derp, but not technical issues and certainly not the "great" design they have (oh hey look, a souped up demon fight early in Chapter 2).

Though maybe one of these days I will do a "Worst of The Worst" style LP, to properly showcase the inanity in so many BG2 mods. Maybe. Gotta finish this first though.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

No mang, we all know how BG2 goes. Saerileth would be a the greatest assault by the Codex has ever weathered.

Just cheat or whatever over the derp fight parts of Saerileth, explain why the design sucks. The meat is in the mind-blowing horror of the writing. And the fact it has a large fandom.

 

[abnaxus]

The BG2 playthrough on lparchive.org uses the Saerileth mod.