Inactive Let's Play Europa Universalis III: Jerusalem Sancta

Click here and disable ads!

INDEX

1. Damascus sub Jerusalem. Deus Vult!
2. Venimus, Vidimus, Deus vincit
3. Islam regna Europa, Deus regna Jerusalem
4. Nostra hora magis tenebrosa
5. Exterminatis Heretica et Infidelia! Ad Victoria Semper!
6. Nemo Expectat Inquisitio ab Jerusalem!
7. Mecca sub Jerusalem!
8. Roma invadit nostra sancta terra denuo. Debemus protegere Jerusalem!
9. Nunquam obliviscimini nostri heroes
10. Destruemus ab Jihad ex Iberia. Jerusalem Suprema!
11. Sibylla et heroes portaverunt Pax Hierusalemica et semina ex Imperium Humanum Sacrum. Quoque Exterminaverunt traditores sine pietas!
12. Pax Hierusalemica
13. Gloria et Pax
14. Omni mares insunt Deus
15. Victor supra terra, Victor supra mare
16. Imperium Ascendentis
17. Era Coloniae
18. Hussariam hastarum frangent Aegyptus et Parthia: Traditores delenda est.
19. Expeditiones: Conquirator ex Jerusalem
20. Defendite Hierusalem! Vincite Roma et Traditores! Abante!
21. India sub Jerusalem
22. Plus India, plus Nihonia, plus heretica, plus aurum ex Africa
23. Ceterum censeo Timuridem delendam esse
24. Conquirite India
25. Gog et Magog, plus Horus Haeresis
26. Interregnum, Colonia Lheria Borealis, plus... EXTRA HAERESIS!
27. Sine Exitus ad Traditores

=========================

This time featuring alternate history options, of course not in MMU, but they are some of the most fucked ones as explained here, from a mod originally intended as a "less frustrating Magna Mundi" that became entirely different:

Jerusalem: The crusades never stopped, and the total focus of them was into the Holy Land. The Kingdom of Jerusalem survived up to the 15th century, but it remains surrounded by many who want to wipe this brave little crusader kingdom from the map: from the still mighty Byzantine Empire to the north, to Syria to the east and the Mamluks to the sout, Jerusalem has few close allies and many potential enemies.

Ikko-Ikki: mobs of peasants, buddhist monks, shinto priests and minor nobles who rose against the Samurai rule, they have, against all odds, overthrown one of the daimyos in southern Japan, but their future is bleak, even if their enemies are disunited during the Sengoku Jidai. Could them, against all odds, achieve the dream of establishing an united Japanese Republic?

Copt Egypt: The Catholics were not the only ones benefitted from the crusades. The Copt Kingdom of Egypt was equally established thanks to the turmoil against the muslims, and promises to bring a revival to the lost culture of the true Egyptian people, but it is in a complicated situation. Although to their west they are bordered by the neutral to friendly but weak Catholic kingdom of Tripoli, to the east the resurgent Mamluks have claims over all their territory, and many hostile towelheads oppose this new kingdom, seeking open violence against the copts. Will Egypt survive and reclaim all of the former historical territory from the turbanheads or will the religion of peace ragheads conquer all of it and later demand that the Pyramids should be destroyed?

Navarra: Where the Crusades on the holy land were relatively successful, the Reconquista was a succession of failures. Driven by the growing threat of the Christian kingdoms, the moors eventually united themselves under the banner of Granada, that ripped apart the Christian kingdoms while an ambitious independent Aquitaine conquered the former kingdom of Aragon. Castille is only a shadow of its former glory now, while the Basque Navarra, still not directly touched by the losses, is now on a perilous situation, as Granada dreams of becoming the Sultanate of Iberia by wiping both Castille and Navarra off the map.

And as a recap:

Tripoli: Can the Al-Gaddafi dynasty unite all Berbers and proclaim the Kingdom of Africa, while surviving the ambitions of the Mamluks and Iberian Christians?

Norway: Starting as the lesser part of a personal union with Denmark and at war with Sweden, Norway starts the weakest of the Scandinavian kingdoms, but there are sagas not yet forgotten about the legendary Vinland of much wealth and opportunity. Can Norway ever become powerful enough to colonize this mythical Vinland and unite Scandinavia?

Pskov: A little Noble Republic sandwiched between giants, but the Boyar of Pskov is a dreamer. He dreams that with the right opportunities and timing, he could turn Pskov into something much greater, that Novgorod, target of Muscovy ambitions, could fall to such a tiny lion as Pskov if he were to strike it at the right time, and more, in pure megalomania, that he could unite the Rus and form the Republic of Russia.

Riga: The Latvian minuscle bishopric, a result of the Teutonic incursions on the region, is an exception to the rule, for it is ruled by Latvian bishops rather than foreign krauts, and seeing the plight of other Latvians, Silvester has many dreams. The Livonian order may be large, but they aren't particularly powerful while their stronger allies are separated from them. Could the tiny Riga become a power in the Baltics?

You can post other suggestions, with three exceptions:

1) No countries already LPed.

2) NO COUNTRIES BORDERING DJINN CHEATSHIT KEBAB IN MMU

3) No countries too powerful to be FUN.

Qadaffi.

Although, if you're Tripoli and Ottomans inherit or PU Mamluks then you'll border the kebab.

Jerusalem. Remove Abrahamic upstarts from premises.

Keeping positive relations with a country with the same religion is not much of a big deal and that is just something that might rather than will happen.

Cassidy
How about playing kebab itself

Anyway, let's go with the miaphyshites

pskov is perfectly positioned for some triple penetration raep

do it

Navarra or Norway, rest are shit.

anyone who doesn't vote pskov is a communist

I've already voted for something else, товарищ.

Ja, vi elsker dette massacre of those darn Swedes. Norway.

Provide map of this alternate history so I can vote accordingly to what will most likely get you tastefully raped.

Navarra, because we can.

If you want to vote for Ryukyu or some country landlocked between France and HRE your vote will be ignored. There is very difficult and there is banal shit boring.

Tripoli.

Make al-Qadaffi unite all lands from Morocco to Egypt.

Hell, maybe go all the way to Spain and Turkey as well.

I was torn between Navarra or Jerusalem but eventually voted Navarra. Jerusalem is too close to kebab and a change of region would be nice.

If we pick Jerusalem, apparently it will not be played using Ubikebab, so no huge worries there.

But personally, I think we should go for someplace in sub-Saharan Africa. Bring tasteful machete rape to the world, or something.

Copt Egypt: we most free the arabic egyptian people of the religion of peace and understanding!

Gaddafu Ackbar 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Just as a reminder and shameless bump: I'll only count the votes on the poll and, if options outside the poll are suggested in sufficient numbers, them.

Oh, and will there be shameless Breivik jokes if Norway wins, or do you intend to keep your comedy clean?

Difficult vote, but ended up voting for Norway due to the chance of shameless Breivik jokes.

Good stuff Cassidy, but I think a lot of these choices have been used already. Furious Flaming Faggot's awesome MMU LP's have already covered a few of the choices that you mention: he's already done the Livonian Order (Riga), and the Coptic Kingdom is a bit too similar to the Knights of Rhodes LP or my liking.

Norwegian colonization of the Americas sounds OK, but uniting Russia sounds cooler. Pskov for me.

Riga is an archbishophric surrounded by Livs, so it would be harder, probably too hard.

Norway might be cool, but I'd like to see Tripoli. Alternatively, Navarra would be a hellish game.

only a dirty scand would vote norway