Completed Let's play Conker's Bad Fur Day

[Kz3r0]

 

[spekkio]

That's what I call...

A contribution!

 

[PlanHex]

Conker's exclamation of "Tediz... I hate these guys." reference to

 

[spekkio]

^

Have some bonus videos (intros for various Multiplayer Modes):

Conker's Multiplayer Mode #1 - Beach (Allies)



Conker's Multiplayer Mode #1 - Beach (Axis)



*Edit - still one reference left...

Two additional avatars I've extracted:

 

[spekkio]

Rodent will follow Conker now

The area ahead is filled with

235. Danger

We face two threats here - bombs (GTFO when you see their shadow):

And

236. Mines

The path is long and dangerous, but you should do everything to keep your HP at max, since when you reach the top, you end up in real:

237. Shithole

One of the most dangerous and difficult parts of the game.
You have to jump onto a pontoon with a 'B' panel:

Equip bazooka, and shoot off four locks on big door ahead

FAQ claims that you should destroy all 4 locks ASAP and run in the direction of the door. But if you do...

238. This happens

Every time you destroy one of the locks, four new tediz parachute into the area. So...

As your attorney, I advise you to clear the area (first wave of tediz will parachute in right when you use the 'B' panel for the 1st time), jump onto the pontoon, destroy ONE FUCKING lock, leave the pontoon, reach the pier, kill all tediz from there, go back to the pontoon, repeat three times.

239. How it's done

Using bazooka to kill tediz is bad idea - reloading this baby takes too long, plus you're a sitting duck there. When you succeed, the huge lock will go down:

And the big door will open

You can either try to kill remaining tediz (bad idea), or simply

240. Run for it

There are three points of interest in this new area: small locked door, big locked gate and

241. A tank

First, we have to open the door somehow...

242. How to open a door using a tank

That was the sweetest door-opening I saw in a while...



Conker can move in now

There's a long corridor there, with pools of radioactive waste, guarded by mines

243. Dealing with it

Don't be too smug about this area, sine the final mine is a little bit

244. Different

Yeah, it's too fast to be avoided - you have to take this blow on your hairy chest.

And no, it can't be blown up using guns...

Once you reach the end of the corridor, you have to

245. Throw the switch

OMG, just look a the time!

246. GTFO time

The gate is now open. Another very difficult area ahead - we have to deal with the huge cannon in the middle, which guards the entire area:

Its bullets can't harm the tank, but the problem is, we can't stay inside all the time.
To deal with the cannon, we have to destroy four wedges that support the tower. But to do that, we have to circle around the tower (only 1st wedge is visible from our starting point):

And to do that, we have to lower four bridges. And that's impossible without leaving the tank.
Of course we have to operate while the cannon points away from our current location and the whole area is guarded by tediz who literally come from the ground.



If you leave the tank while the cannon faces it, or you fail at going back inside in time, you will die:

So, wait till the cannon turns away, jump over the gap

Operate the 'B' panel to bring the bridge down

Kill tediz (as long as the cannon is still facing away)

Go back to tank before the cannon rapes you

Drive in, blow up remaining tediz

Destroy next wedge

And BTW - since tediz operating in this area are armed with grenades, if you fail at dealing with them

247. Tank won't survive

As you can see, trying to drive them over is bad idea...



Anyway, this part led to some EPIC moments (and way too many reloads)

248. EPIC moment #1

Final bridge is a real nightmare, since the other bank is really slippery - it's hard to jump over it, let alone do this:

249. EPIC moment #2

We can now blow up the 4th wedge and

250. Deal with the cannon

Conker has to leave the tank now and jump into the hole, created by cannon's destruction

251. Going down

He ends up in gigantic underground cavern, filled with water, but with big island in the middle. It looks suspiciously like a boss arena...

But that's probably total coincidence...
There's some little creature in the middle of the island - Conker moves closer

252. Little Girl

Alright - we have to help the poor creature. And dealing with those submarines seems inevitable anyway...

See you next time...

 

[Crooked Bee]

EPIC!

Also, little girls are evil. Trust me on that.

 

[spekkio]

Thanks for bumping, Bee-chan!

Have a prestigious avatard:

And an update...

 

[spekkio]

So... The submarines.



There are 4 platforms in 4 corners of the arena. One of them is our 'entrance' (we came from there):

And 3 others have 'B' panels, where Conker can use his majestic bazooka. There's always a 'shelter' nearby' as well:

Course of actions: wait till submarines shoot their load salve of missiles (it can be heard clearly - they target your current location), leave the shelter, reach the platform, use the panel, destroy 1-2 subs and GTFO if some of them were able to shoot another salve

253. How to do it right

Repeat till you can't use the panel anymore - it means there are no more subs in the area. Proceed to next platform. Sooner or later, you will

254. Deal with the final sub

Conker tries to take advantage of the loli

Only to learn the true meaning of the term...

255. Pedo-bear (a.k.a. The Experiment)

Boss battle #7 begins!



Another truly MAJESTIC battle!

How to deal with this bastard bitch? First, you have to go back to the shelter - his melee attack will kill you in one hit

Another step - you have to reach the tank

And when you do

256. Shit gets serious

So, it's time for ranged combat.



Hide in the shelter (not as easy to do with a tank as it was with a squirrel), wait till (s)he shoots, and do

257. This

He will reach for her, turning away from you. Wait till he reveals his weak spot, and hit it:

Don't let him grab you when he rushes at you - it will damage the tank

When the job is done, GTFO and back to the shelter, since it's time for

258. Phase two

Nothing new except her weapons, so just

259. Do it again

Alright, time for

260. Phase three

But of course we're going to

261. Deal with it

So, we've won, but our casualties were great...



And shit ain't over yet - it's time for MAJESTIC escape retreat during the countdown [tm]!

Conker jumps into the hole

And finds himself in

262. Fucking hell!

(PROTIP: you can ignore the tail - it seems immaterial...)

You have to deal with many lasers and some tediz

But that's the easiest part of this section - when you reach its end, you can

263. Leave

Yeah, right - first you have to deal with four tediz, but using bazooka this time!

The 4th one will clear the exit

Now you can finally go back to the beach and meet

264. Your doom

Probably the single most difficult part of the game awaits you - 8 tediz patrol this area, equipped with bazookas.
You have to deal with them, since their rockets seem fur-guided, so simply running past them is close to impossible.
Learn their pattern of movement (by mistake)

BTW - this shit would be MUCH easier if you could use your guns instead of stupid bazooka - who uses RPGs to kill infantry, FFS?!

Anyway - blow the fuckers up

And...

265. GTFO!

Boss battle #7 ends!



The First Tedi War is over!

Conker leaves the military zone

Going back to the old and safe windmill area!

Or maybe not...

It looks like the windmill is gone!

Conker moves closer and learns the horrible truth

Oh God why? Why Queen Bee!?

After everything we've done for her...

Conker climbs the hill where the windmill was

And finds the factor responsible for this mess

266. ROMD

Conker goes to mill's basement

And ends up in a place which should be familiar to my dear 5 2 (?) readers:

It's the other side of the canyon leading to the Feral Reserve Bank!
But it looks like we're not the only ones who were able to reach it...

267. Reunion

So, the final chapter of the game awaits us...

It's time for some...

268. Bullet time action!

2 updates left! Don't give up now, Bee-chan (and alts)!

 

[Jaedar]

Methinks I see some similarities between the final video and this


Poor Rodent, almost died by cutscene, twice.

 

[spekkio]

^

One found, two more to go (not to mention a p. obv. Terminator-one in previous update)...

Have some bonus videos:

Conker's Multiplayer Mode #2 - Raptor (Cavemen)



Conker's Multiplayer Mode #2 - Raptor (Reptiles)

 

[Crooked Bee]

Oh God why? Why Queen Bee!?

This fucking game.

Don't give up now, Bee-chan (and alts)!

 

[PlanHex]

Lots of references / stuff that seems like references in this game.
I only know the obvious Matrix one and this one though:

 

[spekkio]

^

Have some quality stuff:

Conker's Multiplayer Mode #3 - Heist



Yo, we've heard that you like movie references, so we put movie reference into you bonus material, co you can reference while you reference...

But Brandon Marlo is still disappoint...

 

[Cowboy Moment]

I have to say, it's amazing how expressive Conker is with that low-poly barely animated furry face of his. The "Oh shit" face is particularly good.

 

[spekkio]

^
Yeah - back in the good old days you had to work creatively to overcome hardware limitations (biggest textures used in this game were 32x64 - checked while extracting avatards)...
Now you can just hire some talentless hacks who will add MOAR BLOOM. And gay romances...



Anyway...

This 'chapter' is short but sweet. We have to break through four lines of defenses.
The path leading to elevator is blocked by lasers, so first we have to kill two waves of guards (we can hide behind pillars) and then we will be able to proceed to next line.

Let's go!

269. Going Payne

270. Clearing Line #1

We can continue to next line of lasers

First 2 waves consist of 2 guards each. Next ones are more difficult (3 guards)

271. Clearing Line #2

Next line to clear

272. Clearing Line #3

Now for the final line!

273. Clearing Line #4

It's time to

274. Take the elevator up

What would a greedy squirrel do without his greedy girlfriend?



It's time to check out the famous safe

(This looks more like some kind of a space station than a safe... Oh, well - paranoia...)

275. Cash

Conker can grab his MAJESTIC prize now

Now. Make yourself comfortable, because the time has come for the game to

276. Jump the motherfucking shark!

Bodycount mothafucka'!!!

to fallen BROS and SISES!

Final boss battle begins!

TBH the battle haven't really started yet. After all, you should never fight a final boss without a

277. Proper equipment

Only one update left...
See you soon!

 

[Jaedar]

Those slow motion shooting sequences were cool. B is truly the old awesome button.

 

[Yeesh]

This shit is fucked up and Spekkio is actually crazy.

 

[spekkio]

You mean this game is worse than Sim-cripplefucker?

 

[spekkio]

As the whole final part of the game, the final battle is a huge popamole decline.



All you have to do is:

1) Move close to Heinrich

2) Smack the bitch up three times, finishing with a nice uppercut

3) Grab his tail, either by moving (may be too slow)

Or by jumping

Make it quick, because he's going to snap out of it fast. So:

4) Start spinning

It's this thing lightbane was writing about back in... November?
You have to start by turning your maje-stick around slowly (he will be using his claws to stick to the ground)

But after a while you have to speed up - he will loose contact with the ground

So, I'm not sure if doing this is possible without an analogue stick - I've never tried.

5) Let him loose at proper moment

What can go wrong?



1) He can bite you, taking 2 bars of health at once

2) He can smack you using his tail - 2 bars of health

3) You can miss the exit, which means starting over

Don't worry about remembering all the above - Computer will keep giving you protips

Warning! Warning! Airlock open. Air pressure compromised. Throw the alien out and shot the bloody door!



278. Protip #2

It's p. easy when you spam quicksaves, but without them it must've been a fucking nightmare - he can kill you in 3 hits...

Anyway, simply throwing him out couldn't be everything...

279. Persistence

Yeah - he comes back and you have to repeat this whole mess twice



But the third time leads to...

280. La grande finale!

The king is dead. Long live the king!

Let the credits roll...

Chris Seavor provided the voice for all the male characters except for Chris Mallow who did the Great Mighty Poo while Louise Ridgeway did all the females.

Let's list all these fags:

Project Leader	Chris Seavor
Game Design	Chris Seavor
Gameplay Software Engineer	Mark Betteridge
Music composed and performed by	Robin Beanland
Lead Artist	Don Murphy
Character Design	Don Murphy
Technical Software Engineers	Chris Marlow, Tony Wong
Audio Software Engineer	Michael Currington
Task and Camera Software Engineer	Shawn Pile
Visual Effects Software Engineer	Andrew Davies
Multiplayer and Front End Software	Robert Harrison
Background and Layout Artists	David Rose, Chris Seavor, Edward Sludden, Carl Tilley
Cutscene Artist	Andrew Betts
3-D Animators and Cutscene Artists	Declan Doyle, Aisling Duddy, Louise Ridgeway
Sound Design and Recording	Robin Beanland
Additional Game Design	Mark Betteridge, Gregg Mayles, Don Murphy, David Rose, Tim Stamper
Additional Graphics	Andrew Betts, Don Murphy, Chris Seavor
Additional Tasking Software	Michael Currington, Chris Marlow, Tony Wong
Cutscene Screenplay	Robin Beanland, Chris Seavor
Character Voices	Chris Seavor (as Conker/Birdy/Gargoyle/Batula/Panther King/Beetles/Wasps/King Bee/Franky/Ron/Reg/Boss/Professor/Ugas/Bugga/Rock Creatures/Male Villagers/Monk/Squirrel Army/Weasels/Rodent/Carl/Quentin/Imps/Sarge/Tediz/Male Boxes/Mr Barrel), Louise Ridgeway (as Berrie/Queen Bee/Jugga/Rock Solid Creatures/The Female Cogs/The Sunflower/Catfish/Female Villagers/Puppet Girl/Cow/Female Box)
Rare Support	Pete Cox, Doug Crouch, Simon Farmer, Mark Green, Leigh Loveday, Paul Mikell, Andrew Wilson
Quality Assurance	Ross Bullimore, Matthew Carter, Justin Cook, Richard Cousins, Andrew Kimberley, Luke Munton, Dale Murchie, David Parkinson, Gary Phelps, Gavin Price, John Silke, Roger Smith, Gareth Stevenson, Huw Ward, David Wong
NOA Thanks To	Tim Casey, Mike Fukuda, Don James, Michael Kelbaugh, Ken Lobb, Gail Tilden,  Treehouse
NCL Thanks To	Masashi Goto, Keisuke Terasaki
NOE Thanks To	Y. Edasawa, Hiroyuki Uesugi
Special Thanks To	Hiroshi Yamauchi
Additional Thanks	Minoru Arakawa, Ben Cullum, Joel Hochberg, Chris Stamper,  Wombat, Hiroyuki Yamada

Of course it's not over until an alcoholic buys a drink...

281. The End

Ending feels derpy? Well...

The game's original ending was very dark. It involved Conker walking up to a mirror in the pub, bursting into tears, pulling out a gun and aiming it at his head. The screen would fade out, and a gunshot is heard, indicating that Conker had committed suicide. This ending was dumped because "It didn't spot much for a sequel." When Chris Seavor was asked about a new Conker game, he said it would focus entirely on the SHC/Tediz war, and Conker would be killed in the first scene.

This time it's really over folks! It took us only a little bit more than 8 hours to gain one million dollars!

But was it really worth it? Only the sequel would tell. But it's not going to happen'.



Rare is making Kinect games for Xbawks now, and gaming as we knew it is p. much dead. Welcome to 2012.



Drama King out.

 

[lightbane]

And so, the adventures of Conker, the first and only Codexer furry ever existed, are over . No, there will never be a sequel, instead there was a lame remake that fixed a few things but broke everything else, Rare declined since it was bought by Microsoft. Hell, even the new Banjo and Kazooie is not a plataforming game but instead a mediocre sandbox thing

Anyways, the ending has not one but three references:

First, the Chestburster alien scene (Alien 1):



The final combat against the Alien Queen in Aliens: Popamole edition:



And finally, this scene of Matrix, when they needed MOAR incline weapons:



Also, I don't know if it's the same in the original game but in Conker: Live and Reloaded, if you're hurt when fighting the final boss, Conker will become more and more slower, making it even harder to throw the monster through the airlock.

 

[Cowboy Moment]

I think the ending is really good. Instead of some dramatic suicide scene, Conker just wanders off into the dark, lonely and depressed. It's the perfect deconstruction, and completely in line with the rest of the game.

 

[spekkio]

lightbane:

You are a true BRO, lightbane-kun.



But you still missed one reference methinks...





I'm gonna list all references you missed soon, but for now, have these:

Conker's Multiplayer Mode #5a - War-Total (Allies)



Conker's Multiplayer Mode #5a - War-Total (Axis)

I don't know if it's the same in the original game but in Conker: Live and Reloaded, if you're hurt when fighting the final boss, Conker will become more and more slower, making it even harder to throw the monster through the airlock.

I think it's EXCLUSIVE XBAWKS feature.



@CM

Yeah, this 'alternate ending' sounds like total bullshit. Still, story doesn't make any sense...

 

[Crooked Bee]

Another awesome LP, spekkio-kun! Thanks for the entertainment.

Now PM JarlFrank to mark this LP as completed.

I think the ending is really good. Instead of some dramatic suicide scene, Conker just wanders off into the dark, lonely and depressed. It's the perfect deconstruction, and completely in line with the rest of the game.

Also, this.

 

[Yeesh]

Very delightful. I too like the ending.


Also: You brought her, YOU conker.

 

[spekkio]

Alrighty - thanks for reading, all dear readers. Since my other LP is currently rather dead, I will use this one to ask you about my possible future LPs.

I was thiniking about 3 games...

1) Front Mission 3

Yokosuka, Japan, 2112 AD. The young student Kazuki Takemura works as a test pilot with Kirishima Industries, a production company of military battle wanzers (walking panzers), mechanized walking robots with movement similar to that of a human being. Kazuki has just finished testing the combat capabilities of the new Zeinslev prototype in the lab. Finishing his day's tasks he is asked by his best friend Ryogo to help with a company delivery to the Japanese Defense Force (JDF) military based. This simple choice determines where Kazuki is when strange things begin happening in Japan. A large explosion, a wanzer theft, his sister Alysia being hunted, rumors of a powerful weapon, and accusations of involvement by agents of both the OCU and the USN all make the situation more complicated. Kazuki is swept up in a plot of conflicting loyalties and attacked by various factions. He will need to recruit additional characters and wanzers in order to be victorious in battle and investigate leads to uncover what is going on.


Front Mission 3, like other games in the Front Mission Series is a turn-based strategy game featuring real-time environments, CG movies, mechanized robots and strategic battles. The game contains two independent storylines with different situations, environments and unique characters made up of different set of allies and enemies.

Between combat missions, Kazuki is able to explore the "network". The network is a virtual internet, allowing connections to the (completely fictional) websites of organizations involved in the Front Mission 3 plot. While exploration on the network is not required, it's exploration will uncover clues to some of the game's backstory as well as open up the opportunity to develop email contacts, obtain additional funds and unlock new wanzer gear.

Readers would be able to choose the name of their wanzer, ITZ setup (example: ranged weapon+shield, two melee weapons) and weapon that their pilot should master (example: shotgun).

Your input would be required only at the beginning of the game, since this 'post what should I do with your unit' idea didn't quite work in the FFT LP...



When I play this game (completed 3 times already, so at least 3 plays to go) I always use one setup for all wanzers, so this would give me a chance to check other setups at last.



Bonus - hot female scientists:

2) Eternal Darkness - Sanity's Requiem

Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem is a psychological thriller epic starring the adventures of twelve characters that span across the world and two millennia. From time immemorial the forces of evil from beyond have been trying to manifest themselves in our world, and it is only through the actions of these forgotten heroes that the world has been saved from being overrun. Chapters take place in Ancient Rome, Persia, the Middle East, and modern-day Rhode Island. Throughout the game, the protagonists will have access to several weapons appropriate for their era, from bastard sword and gladius to flintlock pistol and shotgun.


The game features an involved Magick system, which allows different spells to be created through the combination of runes. These spells can attack enemies, dispel illusions, and heal both the body and items.

Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem also has a unique feature called Sanity. If an enemy sees a character, their Sanity meter drops. When Sanity gets low, hallucinations begin to plague the character. Walls bleed, voices whisper from nowhere, the camera gets disoriented. Sanity can be restored by dealing a finishing move on a dying enemy, or with spells or some items. Aside from this, characters also have health and mana meters.

Something up ghostdog's and Black Cat's alley probably: old gods, magick, lost cities, haunted mansions, romans, monks and cybernegros. Almost totally linear, though.

Bonus - main protagonist:

3) Resident Evil 1

A majestic remake of the first game in RE series (currently undergoing heavy rape). Last good game in the series IMO.

The game is largely a remake of the original Resident Evil for the PlayStation, with some additions. While the floorplan of the returning locations is almost entirely unchanged, several new areas have been added in, extending your stay in the mansion.

So bad it's good voice acting, special police units, regular zombies, flying zombies, swimming zombies, crawling zombies...
Since the game contains some heavy C&C-ing, you would be able to vote what should I do in branchching points of the game.

Bonus - the one and only Jill Valentine:

So, what do you think? What should I LP next?

4) Is: "Fuck off, Drog" of course...