(it needs more Dakka, always)
Chapter the fifth; Zombie Nyapocalypse.
In which our heroine defeats the entire armies of darkness one extremity at a time while exploring the labyrinthine graveyard evil calls home. She will also get totally very angry at her ancestors, defeat the evilest Necromancer and his Vampire bodyguard in glorious combat, and solve about one and a half easy puzzles. And no, I despise, with great passion, Highschool of the Dead and everything related to it so contrary to what I usually do i'm not going to take advantage of the situation to post random fanart here. Sorry.
Hello, and welcome back to
Kuroneko-Sensei defeats the forces of evil with great charm and wit! Ahem. In any case last time we met our heroine and her meat puppet, Prince Cassim of Egypt, defeated the first of the evil twins, this one an evil priest to Anubis, and rescued the Prince's bethroted by means of slaughtering many things and solving many clever puzzles and evading (ha, ha, ha) many devious traps. Now, and after leaving the Prince and the Princess to newlywed stuffies, our heroine returns to her uncle's waxworks to take on a new quest: To enter a graveyard housing an evil necromancer and his many undead minions to both slaughter the later and defeat the former.
Our meat puppet now is some gravedigger guy, though his image looks more like a Priest or something. A full moon shines in the somewhat clear sky, graves and monuments surround us almost completely, and we are both unarmed and back at level one. Thank you, game. After exploring a bit around our landing area, however, we find the graveyard's gardener, looking a bit under the weather and, thus, resting with his back against the iron railing that surrounds the premises.
In his chest we find a smallish sickle, the only weapon we will have during this quest. We dislodge it, equip it, and we are ready for business. Before going deeper into the graveyard, however, I decide to talk with our Uncle to get up to speed with our mission and it's details.
Greetings, my nephew niece, how may I assist you?
Can you help me against the zombies?
I'm afraid I can be of little use against them magically as there are few spells which can harm a zombie. I can offer some advise for combating them, however.
No turn undead, Uncle? I am disapoint.
Find something sharp to use as a weapon. Zombies are very difficult to kill but they can be inmobilized. If you chop their arms off first, they will be unable to attack you whilst you finish them off.
'tis be work for a butcher, Uncle. Thou arest a jerk.
How can I assist you further?
Got any tips for this place?
I would advise you to make a map of it as the layout of the stones could be confusing. Watch out for getting stuck in a corner.
Maps are for the weak, Uncle. When you have crawled as many dungeons as I have you either have developed amazing spatial awareness or you should truly start looking for a diferent job, for thou arest a Noob.
How can I assist you further?
Is there any further advice you can give me?
Look for your ancestor's tomb and try to contact the dead.
How can I assist your further?
Can you heal my wounds?
When I have some, I mean.
I can make you a very powerful healing spell, but I shall require a fresh human heart to do it. At least we are in the right place to find one.
Oh, yeah, ho, ho, ho. You are a riot.
I guess I'll have to look for one.
So ends tonight's first necromantic experiment. We prepare ourselves and start going deeper into the haunted graveyard, gaining a level for exploration along the way. Then we notice a silhouette in the distance, shambling towards us. There's no mistaking it, a zombie it is! The smell alone is a dead give away, not to mention the fashionable looks.
In a similar way to how we fought the egyptian soldiers we must focus on the arms first. Instead of just hurting them to weaken their attacks, however, when enought damage has been done to a Zombie's extremities those will fall off, leaving them trying to beat us with their bloody stumps. Then we go for the head, cut it cleanly, and be done with it.
They are actually pretty easy to kill, and as long as you are fast with the mouse you can kill them at a high enough speed the leveling up will negate any damage you are taking, at least until you hit the ninth or tenth level. This is good, given there are veritable swarms of them going around and I doubt you can kill them all as in the egyptian level: Every now and then new zombies come out of the ground, so while the numbers are much smaller in those areas you have already cleaned, since you must only fight just those coming out of the ground instead of both those and the ones walking around, you always have monsters to kill and ambushes to watch for.
It is also interesting to note that if you cut a zombie's head before cutting both of their arms they will continue fighting until both arms have been cut. Therefore, I'm starting to think you don't ever kill them, just cut their arms so they can't attack you and their heads so they can't sense you and that's it. Ewwww.
This area is pretty cool. There are some pretty scenes to see while looking around for stuff, like this statue we come across somewhere. Nearby we also come across the item that can totally stop your advance by itself: The iron bar. We will soon need it and it is pretty hard to find when you don't know where to look, since as you can see below it is a bar from the surrounding fence, that can only be taken from a very specific tile.
After taking the bar we keep exploring. We come across the tomb of our ancestors soon afterwards, this being just one of many similar looking tombs around the graveyard. We circle around it until we find a crack we can use to force open one of it's sides, then do so by means of the iron bar and enter. Notice in the second capture the distant light, for that's the light of the tower of the local church, where our evil twin, the necromancer, is waiting. Remembering where a given place is in relation to the tower makes pretty easy to find the place again.
Inside we find four coffins, and each of them has an inscription. From left to right they read
the first,
the second,
the fourth, and
the last. Naturally, the first thing we do is to open the one whose inscription reads
the last and take a peek inside...
Yay, the necromancer is one relative closer to complete the collection!
Seriously, now, we start opening them from the left. Thus we meet
The first, uhm, first. We talk to him.
Don't say!
Vladimir?
The Necromancer, Vladimir - curse his undead soul - who keeps us alive here against our will and uses us for his sadistic pleasure. You do not serve him, though.
Why does he torture you?
We are your ancestors who defeated the Dark side of our family before. I am Druec - the first of your ancestors to feel the pain of the curse upon your family. I see that you are the fifth of the family to suffer it although the spirit that dwells withing is that of the last.
How do you know so much about me?
I know i'm cool and cuddly and amazing and everything but you are coming through as somewhat stalkerish, dude. No offense.
We two, and the others here, are but reincarnations of the same person. We have all battled against your evil brothers at one time. It is you, however, who is destined to defeat the curse once and for all.
We have tried many times in our former lives. All of us have failed. You must succeed and free the whole family of the evil.
Why are you imprisoned here?
Vladimir is one of the evil twins. As is the way with them, he demands power, and intends to obtain it through the Black Art of Necromancy.
Can I switch sides? This Vladimir guy sounds like right up my alley...
He sent his zombie slaves far and wide to recover the bodies of the good twins so he could make them suffer. He resurrected us from the grave and bound us here so that we may never experience the peace of true death.
Each day he comes down here to play with us and gloat over our suffering.
You are the Druec my Uncle has spoken of?
I am that Druec. One of the sons of the man who originally incurred the witch's wrath. The legend that your Uncle told you of when you were younger is true.
I have existed as Druec for the last 600 years and I want nothing more than revenge on Vladimir and an end to the curse.
Why don't you kill Vladimir for this?
Vladimir is very powerful indeed. He is unaffected by the normal passage of time and is magically shielded against all non-magical attacks. Much as we would like to make him pay for the humiliation he has heaped upon us, we are trapped in the physical plane in these rotting, useless bodies.
How can I lift the witch's curse?
I know not how the curse can be broken, and I fear this task to be impossible.
You are really helpful, man.
In order to defeat it, it must never have been set in the first place. You must somehow journey back to my land and kill the witch before the curse is pronounced. That is the only way to rid us of it forever.
How can I possibly go back to your time?
The same way you got here - through one of your Uncle's waxworks.
And how in Hell do you know that? Totally stalker, i say! That's how!
First, though, you must defeat the four twins whose spirits have been captured in the waxworks. Only then will your brother be sufficiently weak that he will no longer be able to prevent your entry to the waxwork.
Is there any way I can help you?
Can I haz quest, plz.
You are no master of magic.
... Do you know what? Screw you. Totally, screw you. Oh, yes, you can't even do that. Ololol. You surely are no master of moving, eh? And screw you, too. Sideways. Wanker.
You must enlist the assistance of a spellcaster to remove the binding.
Screw you, dood. People usually ask
me for help in such matters, not the other way around.
Also, in order to make use of our power...
Yes, what I have seen of your power already has me in awe. You are a true master of rotting, eh? OLOLOL. Screw you.
... you must channel us into the crystal ball with your Uncle until we have dealt with Vladimir.
You don't deserve little me, that's for sure. I'm too much of a classy high quality witch for you. I'll go find some crappy commoner spellcaster for you to talk on the same level with.
I'll try to find a spellcaster for you, Farewell.
One that can cope with your stench and your looks, at least. Hmpf.
After that we move to the second coffin and meet the second good twin. He's in a similar state, but we resist the urge to throw up in his nose and talk to him out of the compasive kindness of our hearts.
You come to torture us once again, evil one.
Oh, this is just great.
Evil one?
Try to trick us not, spawn of Satan. Do your worst, but remember that you'll never break our spirits.
I'm not who you think I am.
Do you take me for a fool?
Do you
really want me to answer that?
I shall not suffer your pathetic questions any longer.
This whole situation is very confusing.
But wait... I realize now who you are. Druec foretold the coming of one with the face of evil but the spirit of good. You are the savior we have been waiting for so long. Druec lies in the leftmost coffin.
How about
i'm sorry for having been a jerk to you, ma'am while we are at it?
And then he falls silent. *sigh*
We then open the third coffin, revealing the fourth good twin. He doesn't answer our calls, however, so we are done with the rotten corpses for a while. Before leaving, though, let's talk with Uncle Boris once more.
Greeting, my nephew niece, how may I assist you?
Can you cast a spell to free Druec?
I may be able to remove the magical bonds that bind his spirit to his body. Before I can attemp the spell, however, I shall need an absorbent material as the ingredient. It will suck the energy from the magic and deactivate it.
So all we lack to do us some high level necromancy to counter the forbidden rituals of our evil ancestors is... A sponge, right? Right. This is why Chaotes and I can go no further than a Love/Hate relationship, at best. It is time to go further into the graveyard, exploring the far reaches in search of useful thingies. While doing so we will slaughter veritable hordes of zombies, so i'll just post some highlights of our travels.
Many zombies and levels later we come across a small stake. We pick it up and sharpen it with the help of our sickle. Then we keep exploring the graveyard, looking for something absorvent for Uncle Boris to use as component for his counterspell and a fresh heart for him to use as component of his Healing spell. Also, zombies were dismembered. Many zombies.
After a while, however, I notice I have yet to die to the Zombies, so I just stand doing nothing while they come at me. And let me tell you, dear reader: Imageshack is soooo going to delete this one image.
Ewwww. So we reload and keep the slaughter going until we actually reach the door to the church and, finding it unlocked, open it and enter. Inside we find a somewhat spartan chappel with just the bare stuffies needed to hold service. To our right a door protected by a magical field of some kind. To our left, the, uhm, stuffie that tells what are they going to read today. Or something.
My biblical quoting powers are somewhat rusty, so feel free to add the quote if you want. When we approach the altar, however, we are ambushed by a flying rat! Having the heart of a collector I do nothing to stop it. Gotta catch 'em all!
Yay. Next time I'm too slow to use the stake before he starts his biting animation. This is pretty fun, for he then bites me and I then stake him to death. And, then, we die because of the bite. Buggy Bug, I found thee! Third time's the charm, for we use the stake before he turns into human shape.
He turns back into a bat, maybe to escape, but is engulfed in flames and dies, leaving us to loot the altar. I take it all: The bread, the chalice, the two candles. Then we turn left and find a statue in a niche, which upon closer inspection reveals a mechanism. We turn the head, and the energy field becomes deactivated.
Before we go beyond, however, we must return to the graveyard. We could already go back to the tomb of our ancestors, but first I want to find the fresh heart for the healing spell. We explore, butchering many zombies, until we finally find a side path we had missed before. There we find a dead girl with her chest ripper appart.
We take the heart and return to the tomb, slaughtering many an undead along the way. Once there we summon Uncle Boris for a little chat.
Greetings, my nephew niece, how may I assist you?
Will this bread do as the spell ingredient?
It will suffice for the disenchantment spell. Here we go!
And you are a master of magic and a better spellcaster than, like,
moi? Hmpf. We could have just, you know, burned them. No physical undead monster can resist the cleansing power of fire, as per
Igne Natura Renovatur Integra. I'm surrounded by noobs, that's what I am. Yessir. Totally surrounded.
In any case, and leaving the whining for later, the bodies of our ancestors become engulfed in bright light and three orb like thingies come flying towards me and enter the crystal ball. Now we have all of them, along with Uncle Boris, in there, as we can see when we, once more, summon the ball's power.
Once you have located him, you must physically touch him so that the spirits may pass through you into him. Once there, although not able to kill him, they will be able to render him harmless.
How can I assist you further?
Can you heal my wounds?
O, great spellcaster? ¬¬
I can make you a very powerfull healing spell, but I shall require a fresh human heart to do it. At least we are in the right place to find one.
Yeah, whatever. I have a heart, and it looks fresh enough.
I have a human heart right here.
Do you wish me to heal you now? This spell will restore you totally.
Yes, please.
The spell leaves us with 99 HP. We now carve another bloody path through the undead legions. They seem to be pretty hyperactive right now, given once we hit the chappel we are down to 65 HP. Without lossing an instant we open the door that was, before, blocked off by the force field and start climbing a tall and spiralling staircase. As we do so our Ancestors decide to give us some more advise.
Atop the staircase we meet the Necromancer. He is with his back towards us when we reach him, but soon he turns around and bears all of his arcane prowess against us. He has many spells, including lighting and similar things, but he's a while to take all of our health away. So much for the legendary Necromancer, we actually have to sit down to wait for him to kill us.
Cool. Now we reload, climb the stairway again, and as soon as we reach him we click on him and pick the
touch option. As we give him the finger and the spirits of our ancestors invade his body he starts growing younger with every passing moment. As he's immortal, the only way for our ghostly pals to finish his evil ways is to...
... and since he's outside the flow of time, now he will be
that for all of eternity, or something. In any case, we have defeated a new evil twin and, after the obligatory light show, are sent back to the waxworks. Again, the big bald retard congratulates us and then tries to shove us around, but this time we are prepared and quickly run around so he can't use this as an excuse to place his dirty hands on us.
Only two Waxworks are left, so we are halfway there. Who shall we face next? Jack the ripper...
... or Lovecraftian thingie-kun?
The former is like a classical point and click adventure in a big maze, while being pursued by cops and angry mobs against whom we have no defense but outruning them and making them lose our track. They aren't, however, as persistent as Hellnight's evil thingie, though every now and then the feeling you get is pretty much similar: We run around, evade those who pursue us, solve puzzles, explore new places, memorize where everything is. There are some pretty unfair puzzles, however, when the developers go into moralfag mode and the like, but I already know the solutions so there's nothing to worry about. There is only one fight in that level: A duel, at the end, against Jack The Ripper himself. It's pretty easy.
The later is a beautiful dungeon crawl that's insanely hard until you find the trick. It's the best of the four stages, in my opinion: Creepy, tense, with many monsters to kill, many puzzles to solve, many traps to evade, one or two really unfair segments that require the use of a metagaming sight spell to have a change at solving, and a pretty intense final boss. The main theme in this one is that almost everything you need has several diferent applications but is, also, only found in very limited amounts. It's the easiest level to get yourself into a corner only restarting the level can pull you out of, be it because you wasted an item you later needed somewhere else or because you did not use the metagaming sight spell to know that not doing such thing, or doing such thing in any place other than this precise one, would make the level unwinable.
So, vote! Otherwise, i'll just follow the chronological order: First the mine, then London. And, then, the Witch!
'till next time, nya!
Now, unto other thingies...
Crooked Bee said:
"403 Forbidden. This file removed due to violation of ImageShack Terms of Service or by user request."
Indeedy. It's the same as the one just before to that, with Prince Cassim crushed beneath big and squaredish stone blocks. It seems imageshack kind of hates me and deletes not only most stuff with sexual content, and that I can almost understand, but also kind of violentish stuff. Later I'll re-upload the ones imageshack deletes to one of the most, uhm, anarchic hosts I was going to use for Enzai and similar pervy games.
Crooked Bee said:
Epic Image is Epic. You have to love the way Kit looks at the gun in that one.
And I had not just to reload some, but almost every single bloody death on that last update. It felt like there was a Soccer Mom somewhere, just waiting in the shadows of Imageshack to start reporting Prince Cassim's most grizzly fates for deletion. It's kind of retarded, those weren't really all that grizzly to begin with.
Though it's not nearly as frustrating as Enzai was. All my precious little animated GIFs, deleted each time I turned my back on them... T-T
Anus Pounder said:
Does the princess not have nipples?
Sometimes I wonder how it is you people always catch those things I wouldn't even notice if trying to. Then I remember I am surrounded by Rance-Sama's fans here in the Playground.
She looks kind of Tranny-ish, though.
Crooked Bee said:
Anus Pounder said:
and
Mrowak said:
Good stuff as usual
Arigatou Gozaimasu.
Cassidy said:
Zombies can be nasty foes if properly implemented*.
*Can only be defeated with holy stuff or total mutilation and dismemberment.
As you have seen during this update the total mutilation and dismemberment part is pretty well done, though as long as you are somewhat fast to explore the graveyard and remember where everything is it isn't likely they will manage to overpower you, given his main advantage is being without number. Sooner or later, however, they would kill you, given you the more you kill the more zombies you need to kill to level up and regain health.
GarfunkeL said:
Whoa, they sure loved their traps in Ancient Egypt.
Totally.