This is Baldur's Gate - Let's Play

[DraQ]

And I, Keldorn, shall not resort to vilification and apoplexy in DEFENSE of my exaltational mitochondrion, ever again.

Wait, what? :shock:

My centrioli are sprouting microtubules like mad to help my brain contain the sheer amount of bepuzzlement caused by your misuse of terminology normalyl pertaining to the sub-cellular entities.

Now, lay down this celular biology handbook. This is NOT your beloved thesaurus.

 

[Lumpy]

Chapter the Second: The Journey to the Friendly Arms Inn

Just as I wake up, my childhood friend, Imoen, shows herself. It seems she knew something about Gorion, and she followed us. I gladly welcome her as another meatshield for the party.

Not long after I meet a generic fat guy who gives me directions to the Friendly Arms Inn, where I am supposed to meet some friends.

Even though I try to use my bardic charms, he offers me no further help. He does warn me, however, about two seedy characters he met not long ago.

I soon run into them. No wonder that guy found them unsettling - the human is apparently trying to pull his face apart, black runes around his eyes. Disgusted as I may be, I proceed to talk to them.

As I talk to them, I nearly vomit due to their scoundrelry. One of the worms offers me a healing potions, and the dog asks for nothing in return.

Then the wretched creature offers me a lucrative opportunity to investigate some problems which are tearing the sword coast apart. He agrees to follow me wherever I take him before I feel like helping him. Because I need help, I agree to let the two 'things' join me.

Behold my wonderful party:

Is it just me, or does Imoen look more late-20-ish than 16ish?

After killing a Gibberling, I go and mourn over Gorion's lifeless body for a moment, then loot the corpses.

The most interesting find is a letter:

E? Oh, right, it's that Elminster guy everyone's talking about. Why doesn't he use his full name anyway?

On my way to the Friendly Arms Inn, I meet that wizard guy who wrote that letter.

I can't remember his name, and after pondering some names rhyming with parts of the male anatomy, I resolve to just call him "you". Annoyed, he quickly takes his leave, before I remember his name.

I kill another wretched beast with 4 consonants and just one vowel in its name - the Xvart.

Then I reach the gates of the Friendly Arms Inn.

Holy fuck, they have a huge castle and the best use they can think for it is an Inn? No matter - we decide to go inside as soon as possible.

But on the stairs...

"No, honestly, I'm not Kanyel. I mean... boobies, for fuck's sake." Since the guy is completly unfamiliar with any kind of anatomy, he attacks Imoen. We bravely jump to the rescue.

He kills all my companions, but I finish him off. I mean, the guards did. It must be those lousy evil bastards' fault - Xzar and Montaron gave their lives for us.

Ah, screw them, I'll only resurrect Imoen.

After the priest defies the laws of the universe in exchange for 100 gp, me and Imoen go to the Inn, hoping not to meet any more assassins. On the way, I realize that I should've brought Gorion here to resurrect him as well. But screw him, I'm not going all the way back there to get his body. Let him rot.

Inside, I meet Jaheira and Khalid, with whom I have a very bizarre "dialogue".

Then they join me and we all go to bed.

To be continued...

 

[afewhours]

You have to go east from the Friendly Arm Inn and get Vicky. I like Vicky.

 

[Hümmelgümpf]

"No, honestly, I'm not Kanyel. I mean... boobies, for fuck's sake."

I guess that's why the protagonist is the only one who can do the talking in more recent BioWare/Obsidian games.

 

[Brother None]

"No, honestly, I'm not Kanyel. I mean... boobies, for fuck's sake."

I guess that's why the protagonist is the only one who can do the talking in more recent BioWare/Obsidian games.

That really was shit in the earlier games.

This thread is reminding me of how bad BG's storytelling is. Other than that, good stuff.

Is it let's play or let's mock? Open question.

 

[Gnidrologist]

Couldn't Kanyel be a female's name? It sounds quite gayish (as most names in d&d).

 

[Lumpy]

Couldn't Kanyel be a female's name? It sounds quite gayish (as most names in d&d).

Probably, but I suppose that assassin had been given some sort of description, and said description most likely started with the target's gender.

 

[sabishii]

Couldn't Kanyel be a female's name? It sounds quite gayish (as most names in d&d).

Probably, but I suppose that assassin had been given some sort of description, and said description most likely started with the target's gender.

"I think he's a guy. But he's kinda hot... So maybe he's a she? I mean I can't be gay. Can I? Fuck."

 

[Cthulhugoat]

Is it let's play or let's mock? Open question.

No such difference. "Serious" LPs are pretty rare.

 

[Keldorn]

And I, Keldorn, shall not resort to vilification and apoplexy in DEFENSE of my exaltational mitochondrion, ever again.

Wait, what? :shock:

My centrioli are sprouting microtubules like mad to help my brain contain the sheer amount of bepuzzlement caused by your misuse of terminology normalyl pertaining to the sub-cellular entities.

Now, lay down this celular biology handbook. This is NOT your beloved thesaurus.

Now now, you myopic and mechanical bird-brain, my magnificent and meandering use of mitochondrion was mightily metaphorical.

Your rote science parade, however, was strictly academic and linear.

 

[Section8]

Xvart: HAY GUYZ WE ARNT EVIL!!!111!!
Lumpy: ...but it says so on your character sheet, look.
Xvart: tl;dr... my god, do I really look like that? What the hell is up with my face?

Yeah, how did she go from looking like a cute eastern european twenty something to being ugly-as-sin grumpy twelve year old in BG2?

So let me get this straight. It costs 100gp to raise someone from the fucking dead, and 150gp to slow poison? I mean, not even cure poison - slow poison. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

 

[Relayer71]

Xvart: HAY GUYZ WE ARNT EVIL!!!111!!
Lumpy: ...but it says so on your character sheet, look.
Xvart: tl;dr... my god, do I really look like that? What the hell is up with my face?

Yeah, how did she go from looking like a cute eastern european twenty something to being ugly-as-sin grumpy twelve year old in BG2?

So let me get this straight. It costs 100gp to raise someone from the fucking dead, and 150gp to slow poison? I mean, not even cure poison - slow poison. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

The cures are from a pharmaceutical firm, hence the outrageous prices.
The resurrection comes from the Church for a small donation.

 

[DraQ]

Xvart: HAY GUYZ WE ARNT EVIL!!!111!!
Lumpy: ...but it says so on your character sheet, look.
Xvart: tl;dr... my god, do I really look like that? What the hell is up with my face?

It always gave me lulz as well, though it's typical for games with clear-cut, sharp and absolutist distinction between good and ebil to be lulz-inducing.

Torment at least had the decency to sweep the whole alignment mechanics under the carpet most of the time, even though alignment system constitutes the base of Planescape multiverse.

So let me get this straight. It costs 100gp to raise someone from the fucking dead, and 150gp to slow poison? I mean, not even cure poison - slow poison. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

That's why I prefer mechanics where resurrection is practically impossible. Death would have little meaning in the world where so many people are capable of benefitting from resurrection service provided by various temples.

my magnificent and meandering use of mitochondrion was mightily metaphorical.

Meandering it was. You seem to have tripped over your own train of thought quite a few times.

 

[TrustNo1]

It`s 100 gold per lvl of the character. Doesn`t work if the character is gibbed on death. The whole thing makes you wonder why Minsc scream of pathos if Dynaheir dies, when he knows we have the funds to ressurect her 16 times over.

Death is a horrible thing on the Sword Coast, you often have to play inventory juggling to get with you all the dead characters stuff back to the nearest temple.

 

[Edward_R_Murrow]

Yeah, how did she go from looking like a cute eastern european twenty something to being ugly-as-sin grumpy twelve year old in BG2?

Irenicus and his....experiments.

 

[1eyedking]

Boring game is boring.

 

[Relien]

Is it just me, or does Imoen look more late-20-ish than 16ish?

16?!
All models in this game are 18 years or older.

I'm looking forward to see how much life you can put in those wilderness areas that you're supposed to just clean RTS style.

God I hate Baldurs Gate. And I've had such high expectations...

 

[Section8]

I'm looking forward to see how much life you can put in those wilderness areas that you're supposed to just clean RTS style.

I ended up paying the kid next door a couple of bucks per zone to mow the fog of war for me.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Is it let's play or let's mock? Open question.

No such difference. "Serious" LPs are pretty rare.

No, they're "not".

Keep up the good work, Lumpy, but please get some more color commentary going. This game is really boring on its own.

 

[Sovy Kurosei]

Geez, the guy doesn't give you an edge in wordwise.

"There are people out to kill you but please, run, don't walk, to the nearest stranger you see on the road for help."

This game could do with some mockery.

 

[Keldorn]

"No such difference. "Serious" LPs are pretty rare."

Serious LP's ? All or most LP's are ultimately mocked by the graphic whores or the stodgy old schoolers. Rarely, if ever, does one provide a "serious" LP of the objectively unmockable CRPGs (PS:T, FO1&2, Arcanum, Darklands). If one did, they'd be mocked by those who merely want to anarchize the righteous display and descend it into utter blasphemy and envy ! Hatred of the good for being the good !

BG1&2 are mocked even MORE than the aforementioned RPG's, because they are viewed as establishment icons, and representative of generic, over-the-top excercises in high-fantasy massivity.

 

[Gnidrologist]

Xvart: HAY GUYZ WE ARNT EVIL!!!111!!
Lumpy: ...but it says so on your character sheet, look.
Xvart: tl;dr... my god, do I really look like that? What the hell is up with my face?

Lumpy: ..you are trying to rip out your own lower jaw while tearing a chunk of hair from your own head in process. Besides that, nothing really.
Xvart: ...oh..uh. EXCELLENT!!!

 

[Keldorn]

XZAR must get his constitution UP, or he'll be forever WIMPotent !

 

[Lumpy]

So let me get this straight. It costs 100gp to raise someone from the fucking dead, and 150gp to slow poison? I mean, not even cure poison - slow poison. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

That's why I prefer mechanics where resurrection is practically impossible. Death would have little meaning in the world where so many people are capable of benefitting from resurrection service provided by various temples.

I prefer the NWN2 system. It's much better because the characters never 'die', they just fall unconscious, and you supposedly nurse them back to health. Thus, it doesn't create problems like:
"Kaelyn: I'll help you, but don't risk the lives of my siblings.
PC: But don't you have that free once per day rezz anyway?"

Alternatively, have some prohibitive costs for resurrection. I think normal D&D requires 5000 gold in diamonds (at least in Order of the Stick it does), and rich important figures actually do get resurrected.

 

[Hümmelgümpf]

I think normal D&D requires 5000 gold in diamonds (at least in Order of the Stick it does), and rich important figures actually do get resurrected.

/Rules lawyer