Star Jihad Episode V: Gaddafi Strikes Back

[Cassidy]

Quiet before the Storm, Part 1

Ride the Worm (Note: How can you argue Gaddafi wouldn't fit as the ruler of a House in Duniverse? In fact I'm going to stop using "Galactic Libyan Republic". House Gaddafi sounds much more appropriate and next update I'll rename the civilization to it.)

Ron Perlman's Voice(Just imagine he is narrating everything LOL): The year is 2152. Tensions slowly grow between House Gaddafi and the United States of Earth. A full survey of all anti-Newtonian resources in Sol becomes the greatest strategic priority for the Pimp of Pimps, before a massed colonization and mining program can start on the richest spots. This includes scanning Earth too. One of the Mecca Class Survey Ships thus began to scan the Blue Planet. The head of the all-female Palace Guard of the Pimp of Pimps was heading in to bring the reports.

"My pimp, we have confirmed the survey of Earth wasn't interrupted through hostile action by USE forces. Apparently they have agreed with your offer or are too ignorant to oppose."

"Excellent. My plan proceeds flawlessly, Colonel Katja Hamsun. The illiterate fools have no idea of what is coming for them. What about our diplomatic relations?" Could you call the head of diplomacy for a short meeting?"

"Of course, Invincible Colonel. *clicks* It is done, she should be coming up soon. Also, forgive me, if I may ask, but why have you chosen so many women to assume important positions?"

"I am the PIMP OF PIMPS, Colonel, what do you think? Dismissed, and have a nice day."

Thus, while the attractive chick left the Throne Room of the Emperor of Emperors, eventually came another, not so attractive old woman(or was it a man?) who had a bloodied knife in one of her hands. Gaddafi looked at her and shunned her:

:

"Our cloning vats aren't for your personal enjoyment, my daughter. One day every clone you play with might be missed because if you haven't noticed yet, we are in a still lifeless rock, our potential enemies have a much greater population than ours, and there is a shortage of seven million unfulfilled jobs in our economy because there is more infrastructure than people to work at it right now!"

"Easy to say that for you who abandoned me for thirty years in Earth! You have no idea what I had to do to not get killed by those savages from Libya! It's all about resources! Efficiency here, productivity there, big plan elsewhere. And you don't care for me, or for mom, or for what's left of our family, only for your big plans of galactic conquest!"

:

"Are you blind? If we don't gain an advantage and if these plans fail, we are all going to die! Or worse! Wake up daughter! Think on the long term for a change! There is a warfleet of hundreds of spaceships just a few million kilometers from here, and who knows how big their ground army is? We cannot afford to make mistakes. I am doing this and warning you because I care about you!"

"You are overreacting. What difference will make cloning a whining deformed baby, a small blind kid and the other cess of the gene pool from the vats? It's not like I'm taking a hundred every year. I prefer to ensure... they last as much as possible."

She laughed a EVIL MANIACAL LAUGHTER(TM).

"One hundred lives is just a statistic anyway, but hear this. From now on I'll program an yearly quota for you on the vats, and don't even try hacking through it. Hit that quota and you'll be dry for the rest of the year. Remember that all of this requires water, and Mars has only 10% of..."

"Drinkable Water! Earth has much less than it! Don't come with this bullshit over me or... do you want to have fun with me?"

"Just because you're my daughter you don't have the right to threaten me. That is it, I'm halving the quota I was going to give to you and I'll teach you a lesson."

In spite of the bloodied knife, the Pimp of Pimps has such title for a reason. One rapid, strong bitchslap on the face was enough to make his rebellious and psychotic daughter drop the blade, and after that, he rapidly went in to slap her on the ass until it was red. She, or is it a man? cried and departed in shame, literally butthurt, but not before dropping a report.

"What did I do to deserve a family like this?"

So the United States of Earth relations are worsening, he thought.

"Science director, come here!"

"My liege, what do you request?"

"How long until all necessary technology for at least Planetary Defense Centers is completed?

"By November, development of all sensors will be concluded. However, there will be the need of designing missile launchers for the PDCs as well, which should take a few more months. I can guarantee that in early 2153 all technological conditions for construction of plantary defenses will be in place."

"Excellent, the plan continues going well. Dismissed!"

Gaddafi wrote a memo on not giving him any reports on "near worthless mineral deposits".

"Sir, we have worrying reports. The United States of Earth continues to expand their star fleet at a dramatic rate. They just christened several of what we believe to be warships, and have over sixty of them."

"Numbers won't defeat the Invincible Colonel! Continue monitoring their fleet operations from within our sensors range."

Time goes on with new discoveries, sometimes not really pleasant ones:

"Bastards! They think they can outrun us in the race for the wealthiest mineral sources of this solar system? They're going to regret it. Mark this asteroid as a priority. I want all its infrastructure wiped out as soon as we have a proper warfleet to engage those dumbfucks, so my cousins can build civilian mining colonies in that one."

"As you wish."

And time moved on. Watching movements of the USE fleets, it became evident something big was going on.

The question was: what exactly? It was never truly made certain. They only presumed the USE were at war with the Unknown Furfags.

"Good news, my Liege, everything is set in sensors technology for the design of planetary defense centers. Our teams will now focus on the missile launchers."

"The best thing is that whence Mars get very close to Earth we can attack them using the PDCs only! They will pay the price for the path of idiocy they led mankind into! I WILL RULE EARTH AND CONQUER THE GALAXY! AND THEN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!"

"My liege? Do you wish to have other research projects interrupted so that focus goes on the launchers?"

"Of course, the sooner construction of PDCs start, the better."

"We'll get to it immediately."

And the race never ends for the resources of this star system, the cradle of mankind.

"Just another target. Don't worry, there is still some good natural resources for us. Venus for one, they never bothered with it... and maybe some asteroids still not surveyed. And maybe other solar systems. I suppose the shipyard production of the newest Medina Class Interstellar Surveys is going fine now that at last you made proper jump drives for them?"

"Indeed, my liege, they will be ready by 2154."

"Four years of rule and I will already be making a glorious interstellar empire. Who else could be given such credit of awesomeness?"

"GADDAFU AKBAR!"

However, one news would confirm certain suspicions:

"Emperor of Emperors, we have confirmed unknown furfags vessels in what appears to be a poorly planned invasion attempt of Earth. It is very likely the United States of Earth are at war with the Unknown Furfags rather than a supposition, now."

"Excellent, I don't even need to pull some strings to make these degenerates fight each other, it seems. Keep me updated."

And then, finally the ultimate news: SOON THE GLORIOUS HOUSE GADDAFI WILL HAVE MEANS OF DEFENDING THEIR GLORIOUS GADDAFI'S WORLD!

"My liege, we came with two proposals of Planetary Defense Centers. Here their are:"

Idi Amin class Planetary Defence Centre    154.450 tons     5894 Crew     29974,1997 BP      TCS 3089  TH 0  EM 0
Armour 34-256     Sensors 1/720     Damage Control Rating 0     PPV 180
Troop Capacity: 5 Battalions    Magazine 23316    

GBS-1 PDC ABM Missile Launcher (36)    Missile Size 1    Rate of Fire 5
GBS-2 PDC Missile Launcher (12)    Missile Size 12    Rate of Fire 40
MEC Akbar-116640 Missile Fire Control (2)     Range 116,6m km    Resolution 4
MEC Akbar-4900 Anti-ballistic Fire Control (36)     Range 45,4m km    Resolution 1
Shield of Faith Anti-ballistic Missile (8640)  Speed: 29.400 km/s   End: 2,5m    Range: 4,5m km   WH: 1    Size: 1    TH: 352 / 211 / 105
Kwanzaa Cluster Missile (1223)  Speed: 10.000 km/s   End: 125m    Range: 79,4m km   WH: 0    Size: 12    TH: 33 / 20 / 10

MEC Djinn-86930 Search Sensor (2)     GPS 6480     Range 86,9m km    Resolution 20
MEC Djinn-4700 Missile Warning Sensor (2)     GPS 720     Range 43,2m km    Resolution 1

Missile to hit chances are vs targets moving at 3000 km/s, 5000 km/s and 10,000 km/s


This design is classed as a Planetary Defence Centre and can be pre-fabricated in 62 sections

Intifada class Planetary Defence Centre    56.350 tons     2861 Crew     12247,7999 BP      TCS 1127  TH 0  EM 0
Armour 34-130     Sensors 1/720     Damage Control Rating 0     PPV 156
Troop Capacity: 1 Battalion    Magazine 5940    

GBS-1 PDC ABM Missile Launcher (12)    Missile Size 1    Rate of Fire 5
GBS-2 PDC Missile Launcher (12)    Missile Size 12    Rate of Fire 40
MEC Akbar-116640 Missile Fire Control (2)     Range 116,6m km    Resolution 4
MEC Akbar-4900 Anti-ballistic Fire Control (12)     Range 45,4m km    Resolution 1

MEC Djinn-4700 Missile Warning Sensor (1)     GPS 720     Range 43,2m km    Resolution 1
MEC Djinn-86930 Search Sensor (1)     GPS 6480     Range 86,9m km    Resolution 20


This design is classed as a Planetary Defence Centre and can be pre-fabricated in 23 sections

"Our time is running out. The United States of Earth government continually sends barely intelligible statements accusing us of being "boring, antiquated elitist cunts with rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia ruining their fun" and recently they even came threatening to "Unlock the achievement of defeating Mars", the closely we could translate their word in their dumbspeak. We must be ready to hold out soon, so that one day, we will put these dumbfucks in their place and give my enlightened population permanent leisure as the dumbfucks toil in joy camps for my glory! Therefore, focus all industrial production in the construction of Intifada Class PDCs!"

"It is done. The first PDC will be ready at the beggining of the next year. However, may I suggest expanding the ordnance production factories? Ramping up the production of missiles will be important to ensure the PDCs are always loaded up for battle."

"Once the first PDC is built, yes"

"While my diplomatic team buys time with inanity tricking the dumbfucks, we shall built an impenetrable line of defenses in my world, and then, ALL WILL BE SET FOR EARTH TO BE MINE!"

 

[Hellraiser]

The Pimp of Pimps knows how to keep them bitches in line.

 

[Lindblum]

House Gaddafi ruled by the Pimp of Pimps with his army of hot babes.

 

[JagreenLern]

All hail to the Padishah Emperor of Padishah Emperors! Dominate the morons and cleanse the furfags! All glory to House Gaddhafi! Long live the God(dhafi)-Emperor of Man!

Perhaps, when you've liberated earth from the furries and dumbshits, you could dig me out of my vault under the cathedral in Compton, to serve the Pimperor of Pimperors as biology specialist? Or perhaps an ultraviolent cadre?

 

[Cassidy]

The Fall?

The War Begins

They year is 2153. As the diplomatic relations between House Gaddafi and the United States of Earth continued to worsen, the Emperor of Emperors decided to stake a claim over the far away and valuable moon of Proteus, hoping it would be too small to be noticed once the inevitable comes. Although only in whispers, many believe in the inevitable Doom of the House, for the USE fleet is growing in unrealistic proportions, and is estimated to have hundreds of warships, against which even dozens of Planetary Defense Centers might be overwhelmed. The fate of over two billion humans inhabiting Mars and of the Pimp of Pimps is at stake.

"We are running out of time! Execute the emergy plans! Get Aline and all my family to Proteus! It is too dangerous for her to stay here! "

"My liege, the enemy has not attacked yet. There is still time."

"Continue the plan. The Intifida must be ready before they come!"

And so, all resources of Mars, or as they called it, Gaddafi's World, were dedicated to the construction of a single Planetary Defense Center, a single PDC against a fleet that may soon reach the thousands, guided by a powerful Artificial Intelligence that was still evaluating whether House Gaddafi was a threat or not.

The Pimp of Pimps grandiosity only grew even in these uncertain and dangerous times. A master of promoting mining operations, he led the existing infrastructure to maximum efficiency. "Strike the Earth! Strike the Infidel! GADDAFU AKBAR!" was a sort of slogan for them.

At last! A glint hope. But, could peace have a chance? If being doomed is an inevitability, how should History record these events? The one to blame, once everything clears off, would be the one who fired the first shot.

The expansion of productive capabilities is critical to keep up with the needs of more and more missiles. There was a growing tension, for they knew that war now was most likely a matter of time, and nothing more.

"Pimp of Pimps. We have detected the presence of USE starships that will be in range of our missiles and get dangerously close to our planet. Orders?"

"Let them go. Their trajectory is heading towards Earth and let them try to fire first. The long range missile warning sensors are active, and rest be assured they will pay dearly if they dare! But I want them to be remembered as the first ones to shoot once it comes the time to shove these scumbags into Auchwitz!"

"As you wish."

"But, forgive me, are you sure, my liege? They are getting dangerously close to your planet."

"I have witnessed imperialism for decades. I am well aware of their methods to justify invasions and genocide: faking WMDs, provocation and many other even more dishonorable methods. But I refuse to give them what they want: A pretext to start their war!"

"Understood."

"Good news, my liege. Those spaceships are probably non military vessels and didn't stop to try anything. They are heading towards Earth."

"I told you. Their populace may be dumb, but the AI that governs them isn't. It will try to provoke me into attacking first so that whatever plans it possess to destroy my glory can be even more easily justified to the derps. Be on your guard, because this is not the end, just the beginning."

"Pimp of Pimps, sensors have picked up a large fleet heading straight towards Mars, we believe they are warships! Orders?"

"Get all the PDC fire controls targetting those of them with sensors, but hold fire for now. They are still playing with me as they haven't issued an official declaration of war! Launch your damn missiles already Kwanzanian States of Earth, come to daddy you dumbfucks!"

"My liege, we are ready to fire, on your command."

"Lets not History justify their imperialism. By their range it shouldn't take long before we detect their missiles and the Intifida is strong enough to hold out without the advantage of being the first to fire. Have all civilians been evacuated to the shelters?"

"Yes. Emperor of Emperors? But what if they wanted you to exactly do what you are doing? What if they don't care whether their acts are justified or not and would be willing to cowardly exploit your refusal to be the one to start this war?"

"Then we will still survive it! And I will get my programmers to code a virtual reality where this Djinn they call A.I. will be raped and tortured and flayed alive over and over for all eternity for its cowardice and trickery! For nobody cheats the Emperor of Emperor and get away with it!"

"My Pimp! They are orbiting this world! They have been for days and still didn't fire a shot, nor they sent any kind of demand, threat or diplomatic proposal to solve this crisis! What are they trying? Terrorism? To make us live in fear?"

"Plain old 'gunboat diplomacy', my dear Katja. This is not the first nor the last time imperialist pigs pull these kinds of intimidating moves towards my glory. Just wait. In time they'll see we won't fold, and will leave, because if they came in to attack rather than only intimidate, they'd have started this attack a long time ago."

And thus, thirty days have passed, with the ominous United States of Earth warships hovering above Mars, but making no move. They just stood there, doing nothing, for an entire month, in what Gaddafi believed to be just an intimidation attempt through gunboat diplomacy, although the mystery was what they were really trying to demand through these threats. Because they never said a word...

Then, suddenly, the thirty days of silence were broken by a thunderous, machine-like but mighty voice:

Exterminatus theme

"It is now that we perform our charge. In fealty of the Machine-Emperor, our undying Lord, and by grace of the Silicon Throne, I declare EXTERMINATUS on the rogue world of Mars. I therefore sign the death warrant of an entire world, and consign a billion souls to Oblivion. May the Imperial Justice account in all balance. The Emperor Protects."

Later, Historians would consider the EXTERMINATUS of Mars as the beginning of a conflict that would be in the future known as the Butlerian Jihad.

"They are bombarding our planet! They are indiscriminatedly targeting both civilian and military infrastructure!"

"PDS Intifada, Fire at will!"

"These miserable pigs! They killed over thirty million innocent lives! There will be payback! Keep firing at this Great Satan's force!"

"Here is *static* Intifada. The nuclear detonations didn't pierce through the extremely thick armor of the facility, but I don't know how long we're going to survive. We'll do our best, my liege!"

Even at the very face of EXTERMINATUS, they fought back valiantly. For this was their only planet. Their only hope. If they don't survive. It'll be all over for the Emperor of Emperors. The cluster missiles caused massive damage against the enemy crafts, and their massive numbers easily overwhelmed their defenses. Yet, all would be defined in just one or two minutes.

"This will be their graveyard! We shall yet emerge victorious! Make sure we have a very special reception for their survivors! They killed thirty million of my people, so remember that once we start vivisecting these whores of the Great Satan!"

"We need to stop them! Can't you fasten the missile reload rate for the sake of Idi Amin?"

"Unfortunately that is impossible, my liege! We'll do everything we can!"

"Get that freighter with women and children to Proteus ASAP!"

"These, these monsters! That freighter was loaded with innocents, with children! Kill them all! No, keep them alive and force them to eat their own intestines for months until they die! They deserve it!"

"They killed over seventy million innocents and the evil dictator is me? Star Mujahideen, do you listen me? Report your status, over? Star Mujahideen? Are you still holding up in PDC Intifada? Star Mujahideen?"

TO BE CONTINUED... IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF SPACE

 

[Hellraiser]

The Pimp of Pimps shall not yield not even when faced with the threat of thermonuclear holocaust by the hands of sentient machines. LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR OF EMPERORS!

 

[Nex]

GADDAFU AKBAR!

 

[Cassidy]

I wasn't aware on how many cheats Aurora gives to the AI before doing this and it was a sort of disappointment. Although considering the complexity of the game, it is no surprise if you think about it. The bad thing is that this kind of "dumb AI cheats to match smart player" approach isn't balanced when it comes to building a custom NPR in the same solar system as the player's civilization, so in a way of sorts, this is messed up.

But the Pimp of Pimps never surrenders!

I'm just not really in the mood to write dialogues, specially as extending from an obvious game over in an already doomed scenario feels sort of demotivating, so this one will be narrative only.

===================

The Geometry of Djinns

Fight in the Dunes

When everything seemed lost, Andhaira suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Time itself stopped like if a greater force could control it, but Gaddafi didn't. He looked at the frozen world around him, and at the Djinn of inanity with anger. Yet, all this person did was applaud the Pimp of Pimps, and then mysteriously vanish, saying nothing at all. Then, all of a sudden, the Earth over the nuclear devastated planet began to shift, as from several separated geographical areas emerged a new hope.

Ten Intifada class Planetary Defense Centers that probably were constructed by Andhaira's associates, somehow. Rapidly, they were crewed, and their weapon systems were gearing up to wipe out the entire fleet of the Great Satan over Gaddafi's World.

Over 93 million innocents dead. The new PDCs couldn't really avoid this. The damage was such however, that the entire effort looked ultimately like a lost cause. For the radiation and temperature drop from atmospheric dust would wipe out the entire population of the planet in a matter of years. But the Emperor of Emperors never surrenders.

They may kill more than Mao and Stalin together, but it won't be enough to break the resolve of those under the wise guidance of the Invincible Colonel. And revenge, revenge will come. Hundreds of Missilets hitting their targets. The enemy fleet began to suffer heavy casualties. Eventually, they began to lose, and cowardly, attempted to retreat.

All of them have been wiped out. The Pimp of Pimp prevails! However, the damage they caused to the planet may make this victory futile.

For the environmental catastrophe will nearly wipe out the entire population in two years. A disaster, a cynic show off that even with the support of Djinns, there is nothing but death and certain defeat ahead. Except that there is no solid proof Djinn exist.

Or better, there was. For in a few minutes, all radiation and dust vanished from the planet, with only the devastated ruins and bleached bones serving as a legacy to what happened in this 4th of March of 2153, a date which will forever live in infamy, proving for once an all that Djinn exist, for what else could have granted such a wish of saving this world from certain ITZ. Nevertheless, over a hundred million of people were slaughtered without mercy by the orders of the twisted Great Satan machines. 03/04 NEVAR FORGET.

Gaddafi borrowed his personal luxury liner for rescuing survivors from the Hufuf Class Freighter and those pigs that survived as well, who will soon regret what they have done.

Along the rescue, intelligence gathered from sensor date revealed the Unknown Furfags have a far more advanced propulsion technology than the United States of Earth

Being forced to eat their own intestines for months was the most merciful fate these mass murderers were given. Others are best left unspoken, except that, for being directly responsible for the slaughter of over a hundred million civilians, they surely deserve it. Gaddafi has chosen only interrogators who lost their families to conduct the interrogations, so that they would really perform the job with great motivation.

When spiked multi headed dildos previously dipped in acid began to be used for interrogations and revenge, they began to tell everything. First came the technical knowledge about the Cleveland Class.

Cleveland class Jump Destroyer    6,600 tons     669 Crew     956.6 BP      TCS 132  TH 480  EM 0
3636 km/s    JR 3-50     Armour 2-31     Shields 0-0     Sensors 6/1/0/0     Damage Control Rating 4     PPV 20
Maint Life 3.19 Years     MSP 362    AFR 87%    IFR 1.2%    1YR 54    5YR 803    Max Repair 182 MSP
Magazine 328    

J6750(3-50) Military Jump Drive     Max Ship Size 6750 tons    Distance 50k km     Squadron Size 3
Ion Engine E8 (8)    Power 60    Fuel Use 80%    Signature 60    Armour 0    Exp 5%
Fuel Capacity 200,000 Litres    Range 68.2 billion km   (217 days at full power)

Size 5 Missile Launcher (4)    Missile Size 5    Rate of Fire 50
Missile Fire Control FC27-R52 (1)     Range 27.2m km    Resolution 52
Zaharon Anti-ship Missile (65)  Speed: 33,700 km/s   End: 15.1m    Range: 30.6m km   WH: 6    Size: 5    TH: 112 / 67 / 33

Active Search Sensor MR36-R52 (1)     GPS 4368     Range 36.3m km    Resolution 52
Thermal Sensor TH1-6 (1)     Sensitivity 6     Detect Sig Strength 1000:  6m km

Missile to hit chances are vs targets moving at 3000 km/s, 5000 km/s and 10,000 km/s

This design is classed as a Military Vessel for maintenance purposes

If those are their missiles, it means that House Gaddafi can out-range them. Thus, future spaceship designs will consider their maximum speeds to out-range and out-run their foes along this AI and the retarded human populace it rules.

Also two more enemy designs were uncovered through these EXTREME methods:

Clemson class Jump Cruiser    13,200 tons     1213 Crew     2147.35 BP      TCS 264  TH 960  EM 0
3636 km/s    JR 3-50     Armour 3-49     Shields 0-0     Sensors 18/6/0/0     Damage Control Rating 8     PPV 30
Maint Life 1.86 Years     MSP 813    AFR 174%    IFR 2.4%    1YR 299    5YR 4482    Max Repair 702 MSP
Magazine 492    

J13250(3-50) Military Jump Drive     Max Ship Size 13250 tons    Distance 50k km     Squadron Size 3
Ion Engine E8 (16)    Power 60    Fuel Use 80%    Signature 60    Armour 0    Exp 5%
Fuel Capacity 250,000 Litres    Range 42.6 billion km   (135 days at full power)

CIWS-200 (3x6)    Range 1000 km     TS: 20000 km/s     ROF 5       Base 50% To Hit
Size 5 Missile Launcher (6)    Missile Size 5    Rate of Fire 50
Missile Fire Control FC27-R52 (2)     Range 27.2m km    Resolution 52
Zaharon Anti-ship Missile (98)  Speed: 33,700 km/s   End: 15.1m    Range: 30.6m km   WH: 6    Size: 5    TH: 112 / 67 / 33

Active Search Sensor MR27-R52 (1)     GPS 3276     Range 27.3m km    Resolution 52
Thermal Sensor TH3-18 (1)     Sensitivity 18     Detect Sig Strength 1000:  18m km
EM Detection Sensor EM1-6 (1)     Sensitivity 6     Detect Sig Strength 1000:  6m km

Missile to hit chances are vs targets moving at 3000 km/s, 5000 km/s and 10,000 km/s

This design is classed as a Military Vessel for maintenance purposes

Wickes class Missile Cruiser    13,200 tons     1286 Crew     1787.7 BP      TCS 264  TH 960  EM 0
3636 km/s     Armour 4-49     Shields 0-0     Sensors 18/6/0/0     Damage Control Rating 8     PPV 60
Maint Life 4.71 Years     MSP 677    AFR 174%    IFR 2.4%    1YR 50    5YR 750    Max Repair 63 MSP
Magazine 907    

Ion Engine E8 (16)    Power 60    Fuel Use 80%    Signature 60    Armour 0    Exp 5%
Fuel Capacity 300,000 Litres    Range 51.1 billion km   (162 days at full power)

CIWS-200 (2x6)    Range 1000 km     TS: 20000 km/s     ROF 5       Base 50% To Hit
Size 5 Missile Launcher (12)    Missile Size 5    Rate of Fire 50
Missile Fire Control FC27-R52 (2)     Range 27.2m km    Resolution 52
Zaharon Anti-ship Missile (181)  Speed: 33,700 km/s   End: 15.1m    Range: 30.6m km   WH: 6    Size: 5    TH: 112 / 67 / 33

Active Search Sensor MR27-R52 (1)     GPS 3276     Range 27.3m km    Resolution 52
Thermal Sensor TH3-18 (1)     Sensitivity 18     Detect Sig Strength 1000:  18m km
EM Detection Sensor EM1-6 (1)     Sensitivity 6     Detect Sig Strength 1000:  6m km

Missile to hit chances are vs targets moving at 3000 km/s, 5000 km/s and 10,000 km/s

This design is classed as a Military Vessel for maintenance purposes

Analysis proves the only advantage they truly have against the Invincible Colonel lie in their sheer numbers. Victory was celebrated, but, would it last?

Because more were heading to attempt the complete extermination of Gaddafi's World, and this time, after the Unknown furfags are dealt with, there would be not around twenty, but possibly hundreds of enemy warships heading for Mars, which ordnance production can barely keep a single PDC well supplied, much less ten, and one would be blind to think ten PDCs could hold out a fleet that large, no matter how large or well-designed they be.

Thus, the future remained gloomy. Is this the end? Was the Djinn just playing with the Pimp of Pimps by giving him only delusions of grandeur while he was to witness his just started empire crumbling to radioactive dust?

 

[JagreenLern]

We march on, towards victory or annihilation. We care nothing for our lives, for we know no reward greater than to die for the Emperor of Emperors.

ONWARD, MUJAHIDEEN, TO DEATH AND GLORY! GADHAFFU AKHBAR!!!

 

[Nex]

NEVER GIVE UP

 

[Hellraiser]

As always the Djinn plot against the greatness of the Emperor of Emperors. They shall not win!

 

[Cassidy]

As always the Djinn plot against the greatness of the Emperor of Emperors. They shall not win!

The Pimp of Pimps has 10 Intifada Class PDCs with about a hundred and half Kwanzaa cluster missiles each. The problem is, they will run out of ammo first than the enemies run out of warships.

In face of recent real-life events, I think it is very appropriate to revive this thread.

======

Gaddafi's Last Stand Part 1: The Unremitting Tide of the Butlerian Jihad

Assembling the Troops

My liege, the evacuation of key individuals is carrying on as planned. However, may I indulge on a question: where are they supposed to go?

They shall stay in cryonic stasis, hidden inside an asteroid that is completely devoid of worth. I must take an insurance that even if I die making a stand for my world, my reign shall still have a chance in the far, far future, once the idiocy of our foes lead to their self-destruction and Earth is ripe for the taking.

Pimp of Pimps, I understand. I shall return to my duties.

Emperor, the unknown furfags refused to hail to our communications attempting a cease-fire. It seems they were too oblivious to our hails while they were yiffing.

Then we shall make these degenerates yiff in Hell! Exterminate all of them!

GADDAFU AKBAR!

All targets acquired.

Fire at will, but remember, we must conserve ammunition. Once you are absolutely sure all targets will be destroyed with the amount of missiles heading their way, stop firing. The greatest threat to our survival, the United States of Earth gigantic fleets heading my way but still beyond the range of my missiles, must be met with the fiery avenging fury of the Mujahideen. I will not allow the machines ruling those idiots to exterminate my people!

Understood. Sir, how do you expect to handle over fifty hostile vessels?

I am called the Invincible Colonel for a reason. Carry on with your duties and do your best. And we shall win the Butlerian Jihad!

First Mirabello Class Cruiser locked on, switching to other threats.

Science Minister, will Earth get close enough to our planet's orbit for our PDCs to begin a sadly necessary EXTERMINATUS campaign against the tainted Earth faster than our technology and production of warships?

I cannot really predict, but sir, if I may, isn't our missile production insufficient to cope with so many warships? How could we hold out until either of the two happen?

Let's just say a certain inane being made a promise, and I'll have his head if he doesn't get to it.

Sir, I have pressing news!

Go on.

The USE fleet is in range of our missiles. Your orders?

Any information gathered on the composition of their fleet?

Around fifty or sixty one thousand ton fast attack crafts. They are trying to overwhelm us through sheer numbers.

Launch one salvo of only one PDC per ship, until there are missiles heading for all of them, and then hold fire until all missiles in flight are destroyed or flying aimlessly after missing their targets. Remember: conserve ammunition as much as possible.

It shall be done.

Great news my liege! The Mirabello Class Cruisers stand no chance against our missile barrages! It is almost sure none of them shall survive!

Our great work of purging these degenerates from the Galaxy has just begun! Carry on with faith and never surrender to the legions of idiots and degenerates inhabiting our once blessed Earth! We shall yet retake our home!

Also, we finally ended launching missile barrages against all USE FACs. I hope they will be enough to wipe them out. Our ammunition is running low.

Pimp of Pimps, I have both good and bad news. The good news is that all unknown furfags vessels have been wiped out. The bad news is that we could have saved some salvos as only about 60% of the missiles we launched against them were needed to wipe all of them.

The inane one is under my will. He will never betray me. Nevertheless, conserving ammunition is important, but that is already over. How long until the results of the salvos against the USE fleet?

They will take more than a hour to reach their targets, supposing they continue heading the same way and at the same speed.

I should warn you however, that our PDCs can afford only launching more five salvos before they start running our of ammo.

Did you find any traces of the inane one?

Unfortunately not, sir. This associate of yours seems to vanish like a Djinn every time and our sensors failed to pick up anything all times you requested of us to track him down.

He better not betray me, if he knows what is good for him.

How is the situation? How many of those dregs still stand?

Only one, my liege. Their entire fleet of FACs was completely wiped out by our missiles. And considering ammunition isn't evenly distributed among PDCs, we took the liberty of setting a single salvo to wipe it out.

All of their scum shall be crushed and crumble! We shall turn the tide of this war yet and victory shall be certain! Because I am the Invincible Colonel, the Emperor of Emperors and it's thus my duty to lead all of you into victory and reclaim Earth!

I have however bad news, Pimp of Pimps. A second wave of United States warships will arrive soon, and we are almost sure they will be, although almost as numberful than the first ones, composed by much bigger warships than FACs.

I shall never surrender! No matter how outnumbered, no matter how much we lose! No matter even if we have to retreat to an uncertain fate surrounded by foes and with our escort convoys lost, our victory shall yet come even in these direst times!

GADDAFU AKBAR!

 

[Cassidy]

By the way, I updated the OP of this thread to reflect recent news and found a great pearl of wisdom for those who might have gotten bored from vault-co.blogspot.com :

http://libyanfreepress.wordpress.com/

 

[Cassidy]

No hour would be more appropriate to ressurect this LP!


Can you really shoot missiles from Mars against Earth? That is incredible awesome! Exterminatus without needing to leave your comfy chair

Carry on, Bro of Bros!!

http://www.spacetoday.org/SolSys/Mars/M ... Earth.html

At any rate, modern astronomers say Mars will not make a closer visit to Earth until August 28, 2287, when the Red Planet will be 34,603,170 miles (55,688,405 kilometers) from Earth.

The Kwanzaa cluster missiles have a maximum range of 79 million kilometers. But there won't be any need to wait that long, as in the same article:

Earth and Mars come close to each other every 26 months

Won't take that long for this awesome form of EXTERMINATUS to happen provided the Pimp of Pimps hold on long enough.

Can you customize civilizations on the fly?

I'm pretty sure SEIV allows editing save games to change civs in an already going game.

*Edit 2: Also on that article something I shouldn't have forgotten:

That means the last previous Earth inhabitants this close to Mars probably were the Neanderthals.

 

[JagreenLern]

This LP is back? FUCK YEAH!

And I completely agree with Slaughter. The dumbfucks must be exterminated, and the furfags along with them. Earth must be reclaimed by the true human race, or something you whipped up in a lab to settle post-Exterminatus Earth. Regardless, the inhabitants of the Cradle of Man will bow to the Pimperor of Pimperors, and they shan't be retards or zoophiles.

 

[Hellraiser]

The Iron Will of the Pimp of Pimps will be enough to stave off the impending doom. The missile are merely an icing on the cake!