Chapter the eighteenth; Running away
Did men really wash each other's backs in the bath?
I was kind of curious... And besides, somebody might be drowning or something! I had to take a look, for safety's sake!
... why was I even bothering to make excuses? Hahaha...
Well, time to see what everyone was up to...
What were Mon-Mon and Muneshige up to? I could hear their voices.
[Muneshige] Ummm...
[Monzan] And what about... right here?
[Muneshige] Oh, yeah.
[Monzan] Even if you say you don't want it, your body tells me that you're enjoying it. Now how about being honest and admitting that if feels good?
Uh... what exactly were they doing?
[Muneshige] Uh... right there...
[Monzan] Oh, you're so stiff. Just wait a moment... I'll make you feel so good.
[Muneshige] Ahh...
No way, no way, no way! This had to be a lie! Those two were - that - could they possibly be -
Wait a second, here! I could hardly see through the steam...
[Monzan] You're just a breath away from saying it, aren't you? Oh, you're good at being stubborn, but here... I know all your weak spots!
[Muneshige] Ahh! Oh, oh....
Aaaauuuggh!
[Monzan] So what do you think of my pressure technique? You feel better now, don't you?
[Muneshige] Yes, I am in your debt. I was more tired than I'd realized. Aahh... that feels so much better.
...Oh, it was just a massage...
*facepaw*
[Monzan] Hm? I sense a presence -
Must be a passing bee.
Ah! I was such an idiot. I'd ended up looking after all...
Ah, okay!
That was a nice bath, wasn't it, miss?
Yeah.
It's been bothering me for a while now, but don't you think that you are speaking a little too casually to the princess of our clan?
Why so... stiff, Mune-kun?
Are we?
Are you?
She may be your precious princess, Muneshige, but we are wandering samurai. There are no masters and servants here.
Nonetheless...
Again? I could hear the group bantering on the other side of the rock. They were like the Three Stooges, except there were more of them.
They were kind of endearing -- and not too hard on the eyes either --
-- but still. I hadn't heard this much constant, muffled snickering since the "special" unit of sixth grade health class.
Maybe it was a good thing there was no public education system yet. They all seemed like the sort who'd throw spitballs at the teacher, with the possibile exceptions of Bo and Ittosai. And Ittosai would probably throw rocks.
Everybody, hide!
Huh?
Huh?
Princess! Take cover!
Ah! Whoa!
Several ninjas appeared where the sound had come from. Jin was still in the middle of putting his clothes on.
Mmm, awkward!
This is our chance! Die!
More like "our chance to die", amirite?
Uh!
Ah, ah, ah! My belt, my belt!
Calm down, Jin.
Hyyaaa!
Jin, hurry! I can't face this many of them on my own!
First you tell me to calm down and then you tell me to hurry... which is it?
Whichever! You're taking too long! You need to learn to just throw your clothes on, like I do.
You're rushing me, and now the front of my haori is backwards!
At a time like this, who really cares?
I do! My poor dead grandmother told me it was bad luck. There, it's fixed.
Hey, what are you muttering over there?
Heh. You unsightly things... you deserve to die.
Then come and get us!
Slice!
Aaaahh!
What?
Wait... who's supposed to female here?
Did we keep you waiting, Yo? Well, you can relax now.
Ninja! I will be your opponent!
Well then, let me show you my sword as well!
The surprise attack failed? Retreat!
There was a sound of footsteps, racing away...
The ninjas disappeared like the wind.
That was close. They panicked and ran off more easily than I thought they would.
It seems that they were not aiming directly at the princess.
Before you capture the king, you must first capture the knights. The one they were after was --
Huh? What? Me?
I wonder where they would get the idea, given this thread has so far been voting for Mon-Mon as our princess' knight...
It was because Jin dawdled putting on his clothes.
Oh.
Even still...
Don't get any idea, Jin.
I thought the princess was the only one we had to protect. I was not on my guard.
Interesting. This makes it even better.
We can do nothing but make sure to stand watch, and get some rest.
It is only natural that the enemy would want to eliminate our fighting power.
Jin, are you all right?
Oh, I'm fine now. The next time that bunch come around, I'll give them a taste of steel.
After you put your haori backwards, right?
Just don't trip us up next time, okay Jin?
What are you acting all high and mighty about?
Um, your belt...
There, that's better.
Uh, thanks... you know, there's something wonderful about the way girls smell after they get out of the bath...
In before--
You! You're flaring your nostrils!
Too late, hee.
And here we goooo....
Huh?
Now that I think of it, so is mine.
What?
Unbelievable! Now my belt has come untied.
How did this happen...
Somebody's being dense.
You! Stop it! Your ulterior motives are blatantly obvious!
To everyone except the princess, it seems.
Damn. Mine won't come untied.
...You too, Ittosai?
Ahaha... Ittosai's leather belt looked like it would be difficult to fasten once it was undone. When I imagined him putting it on, I had to laugh.
What's so funny?
Uh, nothing.
I simply pictured you without clothes.
Whew....
Ah, ah, ah...
Run faster, woman!
Princess -- take my hand --
Sheesh, they're stubborn.
Hey, you! Do you know what Buddha will do to you if you fire arrows at a monk, you heathen? ...But this isn't the time for that. This is absurd!
Fwoosh!
The moment that dawn had broken and visibility had improved, they had started firing at us from three sides. We could not stand against this unexpected attack; it was all we could do just to run.
This is not good.
What?
We're running in the one direction that the arrows aren't coming from... but maybe that's what they want us to do.
Muneshige, what's up ahead?
Once we get out of the forest, there's a path through some open woodland, and then bare rock. There's no place to hide.
It looks like I'm right...
What is it? We're gonna end up looking like porcupines if we don't hurry up and run!
Yo, buy me some time.
Yo pulled something out of his shirt.
What are those gold balls?
Jealous, eh, Jin?
Hehehe.
Smiling sweetly, he tossed those gold-colored balls in the direction that we had come.
There was an incredible noise, and in a split second, the air around us was filled with smoke. I began to cough.
Cough, cough... Yo!
Cough... Yo, this was a bit... Cough, cough...
What, did I go overboard?
Nah, it was just fine.
For the moment, let's move to the left... Follow me.
You don't like the smoke, Mon-Mon? But you're always so happy blow smoke up other people's---
Yo, this isn't the time to take jabs at me. I can't see...
No helping it, then. I'll hold your hand, Grandpa.
Ooh, thank you, sonny. By which I mean, who are you calling "Grandpa"?
........................................
My eyes still sting. You lunatic brat!
But I saved you, so what's the big deal, you creepy exhibitionist?
Wow, bullseye.
What did you say, Mr. Gym Shorts?
They're not gym shorts! They're capris! Capris!
Either way, they're so severely unfashionable. Hysterically so.
Um, with due respect, I don't think you're one to talk about fashion, Mon-Mon.
Gym shorts are for kids. Capris are for adults.
Gym shorts it is, then.
You're such a fossil because you don't know stuff like that. Let me get you some prunes or something, grandpa.
Ooh, thank you, sonny. By which I mean, don't treat me like an old man!
Ah! Mon-mon, you've got a white hair!
Your hair is entirely white, isn't it?
Oh, right... you jerk! It's not white, it's silver!
Reminds me of Codexers discussing the Wasteland 2 screenshot.
Ssh! Quiet down! We just got away from our pursuers, and all you can do is run your mouths? The enemy will find us again!
Yeah, hush up.
It's your fault!
Mon-Mon! Quiet!
Um, what?!
We have shaken off the pursuit for the moment, but we have to decide what to do next. Any ideas, Muneshige?
Hmm. The enemies are not the only ones who can make a surprise attack. I think we should set up an aggressive defense.
An aggressive defense?
In the present situation, the pieces in our hand are one queen and six knights. Victory is contingent upon delivering the queen to the castle.
Hark, the grand strategist speaks.
I guess I would be the queen.
Ms. Obvious.
Yes.
We must think of effective use of the knights as the key to victory.
I'll leave the thinking to you. So, what do we do?
One group trying to escort the queen, and one to act as a decoy. And then, one to guard the rear?
Precisely. The enemy expects us to act as a group. That is the weakness we will use against them.
Weakness...
The rear guard will stay here and hold off the enemy for as long as they can, to buy some time for the other groups.
If the enemy breaks through and comes after us, the next two people will act as the decoy, and lure the enemy away from the main group.
While the enemy is expending effort on this group, the main group will guard the queen and bring her back to the castle.
I understand your thinking, but... the enemy also has separate squadrons, and they have us surrounded. If one of these smaller groups is attacked...
Then it's out, the end, game over.
So I say we six knights face our enemy in a decisive battle and meet an honorable end. We should cut our way through as many of them as we can.
Well, you could think about it like that.
Ittosai. This is not a game.
It is. Trust me.
We must avoid the sort of danger that would mean throwing our lives away.
So, what do we do?
I'll go with everybody else's decision. Princess. What do you think?
What, me...?
Yes. I too would like to hear the princess' opinion.
The princess is our great generalissimo, after all. What do you think we should do?
I, I think...
Oh the choices...
Did men really wash each other's backs in the bath?
I was kind of curious... And besides, somebody might be drowning or something! I had to take a look, for safety's sake!
... why was I even bothering to make excuses? Hahaha...
Well, time to see what everyone was up to...
What were Mon-Mon and Muneshige up to? I could hear their voices.
[Muneshige] Ummm...
[Monzan] And what about... right here?
[Muneshige] Oh, yeah.
[Monzan] Even if you say you don't want it, your body tells me that you're enjoying it. Now how about being honest and admitting that if feels good?
Uh... what exactly were they doing?
[Muneshige] Uh... right there...
[Monzan] Oh, you're so stiff. Just wait a moment... I'll make you feel so good.
[Muneshige] Ahh...
No way, no way, no way! This had to be a lie! Those two were - that - could they possibly be -
Wait a second, here! I could hardly see through the steam...
[Monzan] You're just a breath away from saying it, aren't you? Oh, you're good at being stubborn, but here... I know all your weak spots!
[Muneshige] Ahh! Oh, oh....
Aaaauuuggh!
[Monzan] So what do you think of my pressure technique? You feel better now, don't you?
[Muneshige] Yes, I am in your debt. I was more tired than I'd realized. Aahh... that feels so much better.
...Oh, it was just a massage...
[Monzan] Hm? I sense a presence -
Must be a passing bee.
Ah! I was such an idiot. I'd ended up looking after all...
Why so... stiff, Mune-kun?
Again? I could hear the group bantering on the other side of the rock. They were like the Three Stooges, except there were more of them.
They were kind of endearing -- and not too hard on the eyes either --
-- but still. I hadn't heard this much constant, muffled snickering since the "special" unit of sixth grade health class.
Maybe it was a good thing there was no public education system yet. They all seemed like the sort who'd throw spitballs at the teacher, with the possibile exceptions of Bo and Ittosai. And Ittosai would probably throw rocks.
Huh?
Several ninjas appeared where the sound had come from. Jin was still in the middle of putting his clothes on.
Mmm, awkward!
More like "our chance to die", amirite?
Slice!
Wait... who's supposed to female here?
There was a sound of footsteps, racing away...
The ninjas disappeared like the wind.
I wonder where they would get the idea, given this thread has so far been voting for Mon-Mon as our princess' knight...
Oh.
Don't get any idea, Jin.
After you put your haori backwards, right?
In before--
Too late, hee.
And here we goooo....
Huh?
What?
How did this happen...
Somebody's being dense.
To everyone except the princess, it seems.
Ahaha... Ittosai's leather belt looked like it would be difficult to fasten once it was undone. When I imagined him putting it on, I had to laugh.
I simply pictured you without clothes.
Whew....
Ah, ah, ah...
Fwoosh!
The moment that dawn had broken and visibility had improved, they had started firing at us from three sides. We could not stand against this unexpected attack; it was all we could do just to run.
Yo pulled something out of his shirt.
Jealous, eh, Jin?
Smiling sweetly, he tossed those gold-colored balls in the direction that we had come.
There was an incredible noise, and in a split second, the air around us was filled with smoke. I began to cough.
Nah, it was just fine.
........................................
Wow, bullseye.
Um, with due respect, I don't think you're one to talk about fashion, Mon-Mon.
Gym shorts it is, then.
Reminds me of Codexers discussing the Wasteland 2 screenshot.
Um, what?!
Hark, the grand strategist speaks.
I guess I would be the queen.
Ms. Obvious.
It is. Trust me.
What, me...?
Oh the choices...
Although I do feel this is an appropriate ending.
