... You meant to quote Malakal, right?
My problems are not when you get spells and equipment. My problems are managing the first like, 10 or 15 turns. Maybe a bit more than that.
I'd suggest going for a healer, and either swordsmen or archers depending on your hero choice.
Swordsmen are really, really durable against pretty much anything but Orcs in the early game. Use them to tie up enemy units while your ranged guy kills them and your healer makes sure they don't get too badly mauled. Don't be afraid to run your swordsmen around the map, it's more important you try to make sure they fight 1-on-1 and/or that they get terrain advantages, than it is for you to keep them together.
Archers are really squishy and will die to other archers and equivalent (or better) units, so you need to keep those guys out of the way until they can start doing damage. In this case the healer isn't for your units, but for your melee hero. Run your melee hero right up into the face of your enemies and give him a spear or other good counter-attack weapon. Then use your archers to make sure any enemy unit that attacks your hero, dies from his counter-attack. And try to heal your hero as best you can. Again, try to gain terrain advantages. Hills are good against anything, woods are good if you're getting shot and having the enemy stand in swampy tiles is generally good in melee (unless you're fighting lizzers or similar).
Check the building requirements for healers and either archers or swordsmen, and don't try to build anything else until you've got them. Depending on how strong your 1st circle provinces are, spend the couple of turns it takes to get your units exploring your capital province. And vaguely apropos, if you're on a small or larger shard you should seriously consider getting a Scout hero as quickly as possible for province exploration. Fully explored provinces make more money and I'm pretty sure they have a lower chance of disruptive random shit happening. Scouts have a skill that lets them explore provinces much, much more quickly than anyone else. Scout boy doesn't need to fight anything, he just needs to explore provinces forever.
Pick your spells based on how you use your army. Web is neat & stuffs, but if you mostly run a warrior right into the enemy what you likely need are spells that restore stamina. And as soon as possible, spells that heal and buff his armour.
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Not-late game the real power of the commander, beyond the sheer size of the army he can field, is his army buffing skills. Consider them carefully when you level, because what you need depends a lot on your army composition. In a way, the commander hero is like having an army playing on a lower difficulty setting, if you use him right.