Jagged Appliance
Cipher
- Joined
- May 27, 2013
- Messages
- 310
OM please (I thought it was AM btw)
-
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In Progress Let's win the title in Football Manager 2014! (Soccer if you are a fag)
- Thread starter Scroo
- Start date
You've got yourself a reserve goalkeeper
Alright! Don't know if you are an alt but who cares, you're the reserve goalie after all so it would even be kind of fitting
Alright, time to introduce the first team. Will fill reserves up tomorrow evening or on monday if we won't have enough players until then. Don't forget that you can apply to be a future transfer as well!
Alright, so much for that. Will introduce the reserve squad later, as I said. I hope the quality of the screenshots is bearable, otherwise I have to work out something different.
Oh and of course you all have the negative trait "Argues with officials" as Ulminati requested. So I guess we will see lots of yellow cards and the reserves will be getting their playtime soon enough
Meet the first team:
Attributes are highlighted for the selected role
Menckenmar Steinerbächle (thanks to raw for that name)
A very talented striker. He's better as a traditional forward but I will try playing him as a false nine. In which Menckenstein will probably fail miserably.
Rawnaldinho
raw fits his role as an inside forward quite well although he could be faster. I need to train him in that position since it's not his natural one.
shiteatingnippledick
The other inside forward. Faster than Rawnaldinho but as you can see some vital attributes are quite bad. Will probably suck, especially his teamwork is a sad joke.
Jagged Appliance
Our advanced playmaker. Pretty good stats except for flair (also his acceleration is bad). He could take a vital part in creating chances.
Jvegi
An experienced midfielder who is supposed to work the whole field. A hybrid between a defensive midfielder and a playmaker. His low strength and off the ball scores might cause problems though.
Jim the Dinosaur
Our defensive midfielder. Another talented young player that will grow into his role - but he will have to hit the gym to improve that strength stat ASAP.
sea
Again, a talented young player and a promising full back. Will most probably develop quite well even though his determination could be higher.
abnaxus
A very experienced central defender. Has good stats and will do a reliable job, or so I hope.
DDZ
Another experienced CD. His stats are fine too although his low composure and decisions stats might cause trouble against stronger teams. Also having two slow CDs will be an issue against quick forwards.
Irenaeus
Very fast full back with overall ok stats. Will probably develop a bit more seeing he is only 23. Also he is an African American
stabby
Our goalkeeper. Decent stats except for aerial ability and command of area. Will hopefully improve a bit in the future.
Attributes are highlighted for the selected role
Menckenmar Steinerbächle (thanks to raw for that name)
A very talented striker. He's better as a traditional forward but I will try playing him as a false nine. In which Menckenstein will probably fail miserably.
Rawnaldinho
raw fits his role as an inside forward quite well although he could be faster. I need to train him in that position since it's not his natural one.
shiteatingnippledick
The other inside forward. Faster than Rawnaldinho but as you can see some vital attributes are quite bad. Will probably suck, especially his teamwork is a sad joke.
Jagged Appliance
Our advanced playmaker. Pretty good stats except for flair (also his acceleration is bad). He could take a vital part in creating chances.
Jvegi
An experienced midfielder who is supposed to work the whole field. A hybrid between a defensive midfielder and a playmaker. His low strength and off the ball scores might cause problems though.
Jim the Dinosaur
Our defensive midfielder. Another talented young player that will grow into his role - but he will have to hit the gym to improve that strength stat ASAP.
sea
Again, a talented young player and a promising full back. Will most probably develop quite well even though his determination could be higher.
abnaxus
A very experienced central defender. Has good stats and will do a reliable job, or so I hope.
DDZ
Another experienced CD. His stats are fine too although his low composure and decisions stats might cause trouble against stronger teams. Also having two slow CDs will be an issue against quick forwards.
Irenaeus
Very fast full back with overall ok stats. Will probably develop a bit more seeing he is only 23. Also he is an African American
stabby
Our goalkeeper. Decent stats except for aerial ability and command of area. Will hopefully improve a bit in the future.
Alright, so much for that. Will introduce the reserve squad later, as I said. I hope the quality of the screenshots is bearable, otherwise I have to work out something different.
Oh and of course you all have the negative trait "Argues with officials" as Ulminati requested. So I guess we will see lots of yellow cards and the reserves will be getting their playtime soon enough
Last edited:
Menckenstein
Lunacy of Caen: Todd Reaver
I'm ready, Coach!!!!
stabby
Learned
Ah. Well, I have a feeling this will be a good prediction of my goal prevention abilities.
Menckenstein
Lunacy of Caen: Todd Reaver
moar liek:
Ah. Well, I have a feeling this will be a good prediction of my goal prevention abilities.
I am from Japan? ffs. (Wish I was 23 again *cough*). At least I am quite valuable, only the damn Steinbächerle seems to beat me.
lololol since I'm African American and faster than Usain Bolt, let's see if I can score a goal more beautiful than Carlos Alberto Torres (Brasil RD in 1970 WC):
Check 0:30 for happy girl
Check 0:30 for happy girl
I'm faster than lightning, fuck teamwork.
I predict your face will be close to this soon.
I never "Argues with officials" m'lady, I respect hierarchy more than I respect talent and skill.
a bear named spigot
Arcane
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2012
- Messages
- 784
i'm ready coach, pick me for reserve DM.
Alright, you will be the backup for Irenaeus then (RD).
I'm faster than lightning, fuck teamwork.
I predict your face will be close to this soon.
Attacking Midfielder? Yes please. You still got spots left on the bench, right?
Kashmir Slippers
Magister
Put me into whatever sub position you need.
dunno lah
Arcane
I want in too. Make me hot prospect for the future. Sweeper. I want to be sent off.
UPDATE I Pre season and first match
First of all: I will be not be showing the friendlies in the pre season in this LP. They are boring and not very entertaining. Just in case you wonder.
Time for the first match! This should be a fairly easy one, we might easily shoot 5 or more goals here.
So this concludes this update. I would have loved to upload the goal to YouTube but somehow the game won't let me log into my YT account even though I have followed all steps required. This sucks, showing the goals only on picture is a bit dull :/
Whatever, look forward to the next update when we start playing in the league starting against RPGamer and the weaklings from Kotaku! Until then.
Zdzisiu
A very talented CD that can also play DM and CM. Along with a bear named spigot I hope they will be our defensive wall in the future.
a bear named spigot
Probably the most talented reserve player. Will become a terrific DM once I hope. Can also play CM and CD.
Kashmir Slippers
An aging but still somewhat competent midfielder. Will do the job if needed.
Azira
Backup for our star rawnaldinho. He's a worker but very limited in his game unfortunately.
yeye
Experienced full back, might switch to the first team if sea proves too inexperienced.
tindrli
Talented backup for Irenaeus but probably still too young to really help us. Let's hope Iren will remain fit.
Broseph
Backup for shiteatingnippledick. Will play the first few games due to shitnipple's injury. If he plays well it might become problematic for shitnipple. But his stats aren't really good :/
felipepepe
CD backup. Not really a good one. This is worrying.
Ulminati
Another talented striker. Will compete with Menck for the place in the first team.
Telemetry
GK Backup. Young and talented but let's hope stabby will remain fit since he won't be good enough for the PSL yet. Also his creativity dropped as you can see. And we haven't even started yet, what is this!
A very talented CD that can also play DM and CM. Along with a bear named spigot I hope they will be our defensive wall in the future.
a bear named spigot
Probably the most talented reserve player. Will become a terrific DM once I hope. Can also play CM and CD.
Kashmir Slippers
An aging but still somewhat competent midfielder. Will do the job if needed.
Azira
Backup for our star rawnaldinho. He's a worker but very limited in his game unfortunately.
yeye
Experienced full back, might switch to the first team if sea proves too inexperienced.
tindrli
Talented backup for Irenaeus but probably still too young to really help us. Let's hope Iren will remain fit.
Broseph
Backup for shiteatingnippledick. Will play the first few games due to shitnipple's injury. If he plays well it might become problematic for shitnipple. But his stats aren't really good :/
felipepepe
CD backup. Not really a good one. This is worrying.
Ulminati
Another talented striker. Will compete with Menck for the place in the first team.
Telemetry
GK Backup. Young and talented but let's hope stabby will remain fit since he won't be good enough for the PSL yet. Also his creativity dropped as you can see. And we haven't even started yet, what is this!
First of all: I will be not be showing the friendlies in the pre season in this LP. They are boring and not very entertaining. Just in case you wonder.
Alright, now that you know the team it's time to hold the first team meeting. I will LARP it but try to keep the real outcome. And no worries, I will only LARP team meetings and private conversations with players.
: Hello everyone, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Scrooge and I am very glad to be your new coach. I also want to inform you that I am planning on making stabby the captain of the squad with Abnaxus being the vice captain.
: Yay!
: Wait, what? A woman as a captain?! And we've got a female coach now?! What is this, some kind of sick joke? Get back to the kitchen you two ffs!
: Does anyone else have a problem with that?
: Yes
: Yep
: No
: Yup. Or whatever. Can we start playing already?
: May I touch your breasts?
: Coach? Captain? What are you people talking about?
: Well whatever, you've got to arrange with this situation. Let's get to the next point. I plan on finishing top half this season, maybe we can even do better, we will see.
: What?! How is this supposed to work out? We will barely be able to stay in the league! Geez!
: I like your ambition, coach. Maybe this won't be too bad after all!
: Huh? Stabby, I made you the captain because you are the most determined player in the squad and now you are already giving up? And rawnaldinho, the least determined player is complementing my for my bravery? Are you all nuts?
: I still don't get what this is all about. I thought we'd be here to do some music.
: ...
: Sea what the hell are you talking about? This is a football squad, not an orchestra.
: Football?! What am I doing here, I am resigning!
: Err, you signed a contract.
: But I don't even know the rules!
: Just sit down now already, ok? All you need to do is play the ball to me. I will take care of the rest. Actually coach I think you should just nominate me for the games and keep the rest on the bench. Hell, you could even sell the others. Maybe stabby could stay if we really need a goalkeeper.
: ... Well I guess this is going to be an interesting season. Any questions?
: I still don't think we should be aiming for such a high goal, I am now depressed and my moral is bad now ;_;
: What she said.
: We are ready coach! Let's do this!
: Alright, I think the meeting has run it's course. See you on the training ground.
---
Unfortunately I forgot to take a screen of the moral changes this meeting caused but most players reacted well.
Shitnipple's moral dropped a little while stabby is completely on the ground now.
So let's introduce to the press next.
Question mostly focus on my gender instead of my awesum managerial abilities. The mouse points to the given answers.
going full megalomaniacal already
Next, we will set up training for pre season. I won't allow resting before match day as long as we are playing friendlies. You guys need to understand the tactics after all. My other focus will be on building up team cohesion. 11 friends you shall be.
And this is the tactics we are going to use (thanks to Ulminati)
Next we will set the squad win bonuses. Play well and receive more money, you spoiled brats! Can't give out too much money though since the club is not exactly rich. Thus the 'normal' setting will have to do it.
Alright, time for the draw of the first cup round. I forgot to change the name of it though, but whatever. Just imagine DFB as 'Dirty Fag Bros' or something else more codexian.
And we will be going against... drums rolling the glorious Neckarsulmer SU from some very low league you can't even view in the game. We will most probably slaughter them.
We've also got our first injured players. Shitnipple and DDZ got injured during a friendly match. Not a good start, Shitnipple will probably miss the first games of the season.
Also stabby is bored in training. Well, alright, more work for you then.
---
Unfortunately I forgot to take a screen of the moral changes this meeting caused but most players reacted well.
Shitnipple's moral dropped a little while stabby is completely on the ground now.
So let's introduce to the press next.
Question mostly focus on my gender instead of my awesum managerial abilities. The mouse points to the given answers.
going full megalomaniacal already
Next, we will set up training for pre season. I won't allow resting before match day as long as we are playing friendlies. You guys need to understand the tactics after all. My other focus will be on building up team cohesion. 11 friends you shall be.
And this is the tactics we are going to use (thanks to Ulminati)
Next we will set the squad win bonuses. Play well and receive more money, you spoiled brats! Can't give out too much money though since the club is not exactly rich. Thus the 'normal' setting will have to do it.
Alright, time for the draw of the first cup round. I forgot to change the name of it though, but whatever. Just imagine DFB as 'Dirty Fag Bros' or something else more codexian.
And we will be going against... drums rolling the glorious Neckarsulmer SU from some very low league you can't even view in the game. We will most probably slaughter them.
We've also got our first injured players. Shitnipple and DDZ got injured during a friendly match. Not a good start, Shitnipple will probably miss the first games of the season.
Also stabby is bored in training. Well, alright, more work for you then.
Time for the first match! This should be a fairly easy one, we might easily shoot 5 or more goals here.
These are the lineups of each team:
: A team such as ours should be winning this match without any problem at all! Let's do this! Also I have faith in all you.
Green means morals have increased so my speech can't have been that bad. Of course raw wasn't impressed at all.
So far so good. Let's pull up our game from behind.
35th Minute and still no goal?! Not even a chance, what the hell! First shot on goal in the game and it's sea plunging a free kick in the enemies wall.
But only seconds later...
Menck scored, thank god!
Origin:
Menck got the ball in midfield and played it to the left wing where raw was already starting
Raw used his skills to get ahead the enemy defender and crossed the ball in on Menck who did brilliantly by sneaking behind the enemies defence:
And thankfully Menck did his job very well by hammering the ball into the net.
Nonetheless I am not amused in half time. 1:0 is way too low against such a low level enemy.
: What is up with you guys! Aside from that goal you are playing pretty bad ffs! Get yourself together!
Jim cried a little and Menck was all "Yeah, fuck you too".
Second half didn't start any better though, up until the 80th minute absolutely NOTHING happened anymore!
So it was time for a substitution. Maybe fresh players could bring more power to the game.
Jim and Jagged Appliance went out, Zdzisiu and A bear named spigot (referred to as Abos from now on) got in.
And the game actually got better. In this scene sea managed to get a fine cross Jvegi
Unfortunately the angle was a bit to steep for Jvegi so the keeper could block it, but at least we had won a corner
Raw takes the corner which is very well shot
And sea almost crowns his good performance with a blasting header but gets denied by the enemies defender clearing right at the goalline!
Nothing much happened from then, raw had another chance but he didn't really hit the ball. So we take home a scrappy win against a harmless Neckarsulmer SU.
: Yeah, we might have won but come on, we should have given 'em a good beating today! That was arrogant and WAY off guys!
And now: STATS!
As you can see we absolutely dominated the match. Neckarsulm didn't even have a single shot on goal. Also we had 4 clear cut chances which means we were pretty unlucky we didn't get a better result.
Player Ratings are pretty average with sea, Iren and Menck playing pretty good and raw standing out in a decent performance overall.
Green means morals have increased so my speech can't have been that bad. Of course raw wasn't impressed at all.
So far so good. Let's pull up our game from behind.
35th Minute and still no goal?! Not even a chance, what the hell! First shot on goal in the game and it's sea plunging a free kick in the enemies wall.
But only seconds later...
Menck scored, thank god!
Origin:
Menck got the ball in midfield and played it to the left wing where raw was already starting
Raw used his skills to get ahead the enemy defender and crossed the ball in on Menck who did brilliantly by sneaking behind the enemies defence:
And thankfully Menck did his job very well by hammering the ball into the net.
Nonetheless I am not amused in half time. 1:0 is way too low against such a low level enemy.
Jim cried a little and Menck was all "Yeah, fuck you too".
Second half didn't start any better though, up until the 80th minute absolutely NOTHING happened anymore!
So it was time for a substitution. Maybe fresh players could bring more power to the game.
Jim and Jagged Appliance went out, Zdzisiu and A bear named spigot (referred to as Abos from now on) got in.
And the game actually got better. In this scene sea managed to get a fine cross Jvegi
Unfortunately the angle was a bit to steep for Jvegi so the keeper could block it, but at least we had won a corner
Raw takes the corner which is very well shot
And sea almost crowns his good performance with a blasting header but gets denied by the enemies defender clearing right at the goalline!
Nothing much happened from then, raw had another chance but he didn't really hit the ball. So we take home a scrappy win against a harmless Neckarsulmer SU.
And now: STATS!
As you can see we absolutely dominated the match. Neckarsulm didn't even have a single shot on goal. Also we had 4 clear cut chances which means we were pretty unlucky we didn't get a better result.
Player Ratings are pretty average with sea, Iren and Menck playing pretty good and raw standing out in a decent performance overall.
So this concludes this update. I would have loved to upload the goal to YouTube but somehow the game won't let me log into my YT account even though I have followed all steps required. This sucks, showing the goals only on picture is a bit dull :/
Whatever, look forward to the next update when we start playing in the league starting against RPGamer and the weaklings from Kotaku! Until then.
Last edited:
Shit I need to deactivate that steam overlay next time, sorry for that
No wonder the team is doing bad when the pillars of the team and subsequently the best players are injured.
a bear named spigot
Arcane
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2012
- Messages
- 784
strong update, poor performance by the team tho, get it together guys
aww yiss, watch out first teamers, spigot be comin' fo you, nigga
aww yiss, watch out first teamers, spigot be comin' fo you, nigga
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