Chapter V: Po pijaku!
When we left our heroines they were pondering many important issues such as, where to squander the hard-earned loot, how rid Clausewitz of his socks without causing biohazard, which animal companion to choose, what scrolls to scribe, where to find the nearest beautician and such like stuff every self-respecting lady ponders over during long autumn evenings.
Finally, after dealing with mundane matters Anna poses a critical question:
What on earth we are doing here? We've got rid of on that Moathouse Manace – shouldn't we already be somewhere else, liberating loot?
Chill out a little? It's not that there's some nefarious temple full of demons, monsters and stuffie waiting there to be unleashed on the world.
Well, actually they Lareth mentioned something about 'Temple of Evil' in his diary.
What kind of wuss keeps a diary?
The tranny kind – which was pretty much the case with him.
Didn't that town priest fellow say something about a battlefield of do-gooders and temple folk?
Are you thinking what I am thinking?
That we should go out there to look for treasure.
I was thinking of clues on the temple's location that that'll do too.
But before our heroines head for the unknown, they wrap up scribing shitonnes of Glitterdust and Cure scrolls first.
Then their journey is hindered by some pathetic apes with no survival instincts whatsoever.
Yawn?
Once they arrive at the battlefield the slaughter commences.
Can you use that word in respect to undead?
Here's a small map:
Our heroes steamroll the opposition in location 2.
Really, nothing to write home about.
And move on location 3 where they meet even more sacrifices to the dark gods.
Can't we have something living? These folk hardly please the hivemind.
Do you remember that glorious days when all of these would prove to be challenging?
Seems like it was almost last week or so.
Yawn?
Btw, don't you think we forgot about something crucial?
Like trimming toe nails?
Or a make-up?
You forgot about make-up?
:shame:
on you that you haven't noticed I hadn't used any so far.
I meant more that we are missing our animal companions.
Oh yeah, animal companions – totally necessary.
Like, you can't do shit without them?
Thus, the ladies summon their familiars:
Miss Bee calls forth Ursa, the Black Bear:
Nex summons Ganesh, the Rat”
And Aislinn summons Orochi, the Snake.
So what now?
Beside stitching everyone back together? I guess we can pick whatever is under that colourful rock.
Clausewitz! Would you be so kind and bring whatever's under that stone in locale 4?
Duhh...
You are doing it wrong! Clausewitz, fetch!
:sniff: :sniff: :sniff: :sniff:
Oh, shit!
Cheelax a little. It's not that they are any significant opposition
Well, they are undead? Don't you know? My summoned bear worked just fine!
Well, the shit's with your familiar rushed straight into the sphere that makes them more powerful.
A minor trade off
So those folks, are not immune to blinding for some reason.
Our heroines + half-orc focus their attacks on the single skeleton cleric in the hope that they'll put him/her/it down before he/she/it becomes a problem. Did I mention that the party bought blunt weapons earlier so as to bypass skelies' damage resistance?
You conveniently forgot...
Oh well...
After a few turns of serious bear bashing and glitterdusting mixed with a notch of flame producing the skeleton priest falls down before he manages to cause any major problems.
The bear finishes off another skelington.
Clausewitz takes care of another one.
Miss Bee significantly contributes to the third's demise.
Hence, we reach the encounter conclusion
:yawn:
The party moves to locale 5 where they meet more victims.
Again, nothing overly impressive.
Speak for yourself. We are running out of scrolls here!
We move towards place 6 where we meet this:
Fortunately, Aislinn disables its eyes.
And then Nex fires out hilarious joke that makes it roll around laughing.
It looks like a certain witcher I know.
Why do you call 'it'?
I refuse to believe one can falls so low to be excluded from sentient beings.
If I wrote there was an epic, exhilarating battle with many casualties on both sides...
… I would lie. Anyway, it's Miss Bee who delivers the decisive blow throw this time.
Then we take care of the giant's pet.
Can't we leave him alone?
I can't help but notice, that you call it 'him'...
I am a
droid druid, duh...
Then why...?
それは秘密です
Ok
Anyway, the bear dies NOW!!
XP
We loot the giant's corpse.
Soon after that the party gets back to Hommlet.
There they take their rewards.
And XP
More XP...
And even more XP...
Ultimately, they are directed towards new source of trouble:
Orkz orking around again?
Watch out or your lame arse drunken jokes might stand a chance of making us burst out laughing.
Thus, chapter V comes to an end. It wasn't supposed to be so short long, but I posting drunk on the 'Dex so I can do shit and stuffies and roofles and all that. Also, ololololololololololololll!!!1111111
Will post more when I feel less angst butthurt weltschmerz. Take care.