Crispy™ Let's run rings around Blood Bowl F13 Season 8 - Three Codexers in Play Offs

[RK47]

Spoiler

Honey mustard and sweet onion sauce.

Regular meal please.

Oatmeal cookies.

Ice tea.

Chicken chop.

Coleslaw and mashed potatoes.

Yawn. Let's farm SPP.

Jasede phails at farming SPP.

Gets punched. Gets up next turn to punch again. Look at that Blitz to carry the ball forward. So tacticool.

Both down, still no SPP. This guy is cursed. Turnover.

Man, leave hellraiser alone.

I'm so lazy today. Fags, do something will you?

K. Good. Jasede, get up and punch someone again.

Cmon, big guy. One SPP, that's all I ask.

Yawn.

 

[RK47]

Spoiler

Yeah man, Fagsalom is our ace.

Don't fuck with him.

Jasede is stunned by the turn of events. Me too.

Oh well.

Let's go guys.

Am I scared? Not really. I don't need to win.

Burn.

End my turn.

Humpy is stunned.

stabby too, is stunned.

Arkay stayed on his feet.

Unlike the other losers in his team. Our turn.

Guppy with a push on the leader cultist.

Jaedar with a Dodge Blitz.

I didn't order Cold Cuts trio today.

Tuna wrap.

OK. Fagsalom. It's go time.

Pushed him to the edge.

Sigh. Must it?

Jaedar gets pushed back.

Survived two pushes, but lets them get closer to the end zone. SHAMEFUR DISPRAY.

Humppalekka and Angelo is just taking turns getting punched by Morg.

Frenzied into Muckguppy's -2D block...

Finally.

Ball dropped. Fagsalom, hero or zero?

Tuna wrap.

Big mistake here by me.

I wanted him to score. Conceding an easy horn blitz.

Should've just thrown it to their end zone.

Some half hearted intercept attempt later...

-2D block... oh well.

Fagsalom gets punched...

I survived two frenzy blocks - but still opened that receiver for a clean TZ...

Handover smoothly... No dodges required.

Tuna wrap.
Final turn, wanted to try something new, but the kick was far out.

Throws anyway.

+SPP

Guppy with a failed blitz and it's over, 2-1 loss.
But good effort ! That deserved an award...

OK. Next game he's passing the ball.



Conclusion of this match?
I should've played for draw when I got the ball with Fags. That gamble nearly paid off, but as usual, got caught up in the moment - forgot about horned blitz. Nobody died, two missing players that equates to 280 TV missing from next match against 1440 TV Chaos. That's good.

Next match - Passing the ball with Muckguppy and Ogre

 

[Jaedar]

Oh look, I played a game. I think there was a reporter there, but he looked kind of drowzy.

 

[RK47]

Your opponent gave up halfway at 2-0 down.
I don't see why he should play like that though, or even tell you what's he doing. 'lol i gave up and gonna bash u nao'
Go get the early TD, so what if you lose 3-1? At least you can play with full team bash instead of playing a half assed cage game for 6 turns in 2nd half.
He didn't even foul for the entire game until he had to do a TD on the final turn risking a turnover and missing out on 3 SPP.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Sidekick Storm vs Secret Military Union
Match day 5

Spoiler

Balls, seems photobucket is out for the month. Oh well, Derpbox will have to do.

First mutants, then daemons, now subhumans. This league is truly degenerate, and it shall be purged with the sehcred promethium!

A certain individual advised me to get a 13th lino for this game because there's gonna be the devil to pay with all them trees and star players. But if I did get one, Eldaec would be able to grab Zara + Morg + master chef, while with the current roster he's forced to skip Morg. A gamble, but I'll take it.

No surprises. Zara + Deeproot + chef + babe. Pretty much the same inducements as earlier vs Jaedar.

My advice? Always bet on tails to win the coin toss.

Uh-oh. This sweltering heat ought to turn things very interesting.

Between this, rock throwings and constant pitch invasions, I'm beginning to think BB really loves to send player-killing events my way.

The halfling team sets up with a rather obvious weak point on the right flank.

Which is why we set up accordingly to exploit it.

Also, count the players on my team

The chef eats away only one of our rerolls. Excellent.

Neat.

I took the linos away from the trees in case they were needed later.

AND WE ARE OFF!

Major Glory puts the tackle into good use, otherwise the halfling would have survived.

After which we proceed with markings (re-marking the trees because we are BRAVE), pick up and end turn.

so it begins

That was quick.

Private Capacity is just knocked down.

3rd tree attempts a throw, but fumbles.

WHAT COULD THIS MEAN

uh-oh...

Well, dodged a bullet there. Them gfis

Hello there, conveniently placed halflings.

Please don't move

The marking fling gets blitzed by General Specific to a push. It's sufficient.

Then Major Glory tackle-marks those dudes, while Major Minor stands next to the central star-tree. Last thing I need is it getting any close to my carrier.

This carrier. Turnover.

Major Minor predictably goes down, but not out.

That's a tree out of commission for this drive.

And after a 1337 doge later, the turn comes back to us again.

Sayonara, scumbag

Not hurt tho

General Motors flees to safety, Major Minor dodges out of the tree's grasp. Turnover.

Zara blitzes Specific, just with a normal KD.

Pvt Property is down.

And here comes a fling bomb...

HOLY SHIT

I was considering calling in the apothecary because niggling av7 is not a nice thing to have on a star catcher. But this is only turn 3 and there can be soooooo many other things happening still...

Like another 1337 doge, for starters. Saves me the trouble of sidelining it.

Major Glory rushes a random halfling!

SLAM!

Just badly hurt though.

Motors will hand-off to Major Key, who's been sitting on 4 spp and could never reach a goddamn level ever since this team's creation. He really needs the spp.

Success!

Now we just gotta delay the TD to turn 8 and we are good.

Zara dodges out.

Why hello there.

SLAM!

I love muh tackles.

Got the rerolls to spare, might as well.

Turnover!

Not a whole lot of stuff the halflings could do last turn. But hey at least we can blitz one now.

Nice star player you have there

Would be a shame if anything happened to her.

FUUUUUUU

Not even a KO...

Sup?

One of the only 3 remaining halflings gets thrown away closer to the TD line.

Meanwhile in humanville...

FUCK YOU DEEPROOT

Sum more TZs around his dudes and we are good to go.

Zara tries to gtfo. But is stopped by Corporal Punishment to the bum.

And stay down.

Turn 8 finally here, we can grab our eggs and fours and have this bacon delivered.

He sure has a lot of halflings still available

Meanwhile, we are actually 3 dudes down from 12... including 2 MNGs (one with a niggling). Holy shit.

Just consolation bash left. Altho the bad news is that we actually lack linos to put on the LoS. Had to get Major Key's ass on the line.

weeeeeee

See if I care. You ain't gonna score anyway, asshole.

Zara fails the catch.

just a KD

just a

Zara picks up and rushes

Fumbles the hand-off!

GAHAHAHA

Yeah, no

And finally he attempts a 2-man foul on Private Public, getting no result other than sending away a halfling

We have survived half the tahde, bruvas! But the battle is not yet ovah!

Hurr.


I hope you are all well-prepared for the second half. Because that shit will be going places

 

[Darth Roxor]

Sidekick Storm vs Secret Military Union
Match day 5, second half

Spoiler

This deh shall be a glorious one for the Imperium!

Lady Luck smiles upon us at the start, as the sweltering heat takes out a treeman and a halfling.

While we lose nothing.

Kick lino is out of commission, so we can't do any fancy kicks. Otherwise I'd do a short one to the left.

Also, putting a blitzer on the line is hardly a cool thing, but that can happen when you are out of linos :/

Brother Captain, I don't quite like this.

Np bruva. What's the worst that can happen?

zing

meh

Ball lands exactly in the middle.

Well, so far this half seems promi-

Zara grabs the ball without trouble and advances...

Meanwhile, we have 7 dudes left on the pitch. This means we'll need to employ some halfling elimination asap.

Jesus Christ, major. Turnover

Private Property hits the dirt.

Hah, that's another tree out of-

MAJOR SURGERY IS IN NEED OF SOME MAJOR SURGERY YET AGAIN

BRUVA APOTHECARY YOU MUST NOT FEHL US

Proceeding to extract geneseed.

NO YOU FEWL, REZ HIM RIGHT NOW

Oh. How droll.

this is satisfactory, albeit not optimal. Thanks, bruva apothecary.

uh-oh...

Really.

You are BLITZING an av7 niggling blitzer with Zara instead of STABBING HIM?

The situation is getting worse by the moment. This halfling advance needs to be stopped or we can kiss our ass goodbye.

Some doges later, we have a few dudes in direct vicinity of the ball.

I thought about putting Corporal Punishment next to the 2 halflings on the right of the cage to assure Zara could only do a 1d block, but ultimately I left him back just in case something weird happened and I'd need the MAs.

Again. A normal block instead of a stab vs Major Glory, only knocks him down.

Does that guy even know how Zara works

Blitzing halflings

huh

Secret Military Union, now with 5 dudes left on the pitch against the halfling onslaught.

DOUBLE TIME, MEN! SHOW THEM YOUR FUREH!

After that something happens, I don't quite remember what. I think it was a halfling throw gone awry.

I only picked up my dudes during my turn, still leaving the 2 in the back in case of a runaway.

Like this one.

With a halfling thrown in, he gets half a cage around Zara.

this is looking extraordinarily bad

I love that 8MA on human catchers, I really do.

The feht of the free world lies in your hands, major. Don't fuck this up

FOOOOOR THE EMPRAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

And General Motors catches the bouncing ball!!

turnover!

Major Minor survives the assault.

D:

FUUUUUUUU

She's in scoring range, with a clean pickup and 2 gfis on the way.

Wow

Such scoring.

WOOOOOOOOOOOO

That's right! We are the spehs muhrines! WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN!

General Motors will pick up the ball

And hand off to cpl Punishment, who will gtfo to safety.

I thought about just passing the ball, but +1 from just a gfi with 2 rerolls to spend is a better deal.

PASS!!!

The relic must not fall into enemy hands. Godspeed, brother *hands the ball to Corporal Punishment*

*fumbles catch* I FORGOT MY MORNING PURITY RITUALS!!!

SQUAD BROKEN!!!!!

There is, however, some fortune in this madness. The fumbled throw bounced back to General Motors, which means there was no turnover, so I could mark Zara.

THIS TENSION IS KILLING ME, BRUVAS

Major Minor keeps trolling Deeproot.

uh-oh

D:

FUUUUUUU

So bold and so foolish!

Taking General Specific for the job, I trust his ag4 quite more than Motors's

GET THIS FUCKING BALL OUT OF HERE, MAJOR

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAA YEAAAAAAA

KILL

please dont die please dont die please dont die

Phew!

oh noes, -2D blitz.

Them gfis

Finish the deed, major.

Out of my way, subhuman

SLAM!

doges and stuff

Coach Eldaec gives up.

And Major Glory can score unopposed.

A glorious deh indeed.

But I sure wish those fucking catchers would stop leeching all MVPs. All my blitzers are in level-up range, but it's only the goddamned catchers that hog all SPPs all the time. If there's anyone who should get fucking MVP this match, it's Major Glory, and not the retard catcher that fails a handoff.

And here's the aftermath and Commander Boreale's final thoughts:

Lots of luck was definitely on our side this day. While we also had quite a handful of really bad stuff happening, like all the injuries and KOs or the failed foul, all the key moments and aspects very much allowed us to win instead of draw. This was especially due to the halfling master chef stealing only 1 reroll in the entire game, and thanks to Zara the Slayer failing important dodges at the very end of the game. Halflings are an easy opponent to underestimate, which is often the cause for people's downfall, but we attempted to keep maximum concentration, although the retardo coach could have avoided quite a few casualties if he wasn't so hellbent on marking all possible treemen with blitzers

YES, DARTH ROXOR, YOU ARE A MASSIVE RETARDO.

Commander Boreale, signing off. Until we meet again, bruvas.

And next time is going to be none other than against Skaven of our fellow coach Jaedar. Bad news is we'll be missing one catcher and a blitzer because of this game's MNGs

 

[Azira]

 

[Jaedar]

I'm pretty sure stabbing with the ball carrier is a Bad Move™.

If two objects that are running rings run around each other, what is the result?

 

[RK47]

0 turnover move with loner is a abd move? id take stab on any wild animals if possible

 

[Darth Roxor]

I'm pretty sure stabbing with the ball carrier is a Bad Move™.

I could argue about it when you're blitzing somewhere critical.

But when throwing a stationary block against an av7 dude? Ffs.

 

[RK47]

You shd doge instead into a TZ and fail at AG3.

 

[Jaedar]

I'm pretty sure stabbing with the ball carrier is a Bad Move™.

I could argue about it when you're blitzing somewhere critical.

But when throwing a stationary block against an av7 dude? Ffs.

Failing it(50%+ chance ,even against an av7) still gives the opponent a free block since I think you're not allowed to keep moving afterwards.

 

[RK47]

F13 Bloodbowl in nutshell

 

[Jaedar]

Wow. So doge, much scared.

 

[proudft]

srsly

 

[LundB]

INFILTRATORS!?!?

QUICK DELETE YOUR AARs, BEFORE THEY FIGURE OUT ALL THE SUPER SECRET CODEX BLOODBOWL TACTICS!

 

[Darth Roxor]

THEY MUST NOT KNOW OF BOREALE

 

[Jaedar]

Surely you all know something, what happened to Boreale!?!

 

[RK47]

guys radio silence. nao. come to steam chat.

 

[RK47]

Here comes my Sunday Special

Spoiler

Finally we can have this match underway.
Despite concerns of severe delay and schedule conflict with the upcoming Chinese New Year, we might just be able to finish this match and then just be in time for a tie with Jaedar's Rats after the celebration is over.

Today's opponents are the Chaos String Theorists - a Chaos team with formidable roster.

220K Inducement will probably translate into a wizard scroll and bloodweiser beer.

Rightly so. Now I never liked playing against strength team. They're hard to beat, and they can inflict grievous wounds on my players. Our TV is significantly lowered due to the missing players: Whitewolf and LundB. Otherwise, I think we're good to go.

Ah this place. Glad I've changed the stadium pitch color.

Won the coin toss, obviously going for Receive against such a powerful team.
Here's our problem of the day:

Hetrotic String - Horns, Block, Piling On and Claw. Expect a lot of blitzes from this guy.
Here's how we're setting up for this drive:

Notice guppy at the back? Yes, ST4 Lino with 15 SPP - one pass way from Block.
Today is the day.

Here comes the kick !

Oh boy. Free Reroll!
Let's start with a nice 2D Block with Azira.

Only gets a push... can't get anymore 2D blocks from anyone else but Jasede, so Ogre punch it is.

Stuns his target, allowing Anthony Davis to deliver a punch on the Guard Chaos Warrior.

So, one stun and 1 down. Not a bad start. Got 2 free players on the LOS.

Using them to assist Jaedar's blitz seems to be the wisest move for today - the Swede is 4 SPP from a level up.
He takes down his target but could not break the AV9.
Onward with the cheesy play:

Just one SPP is needed - and shameful as it is, this is why I gave Stabby Diving Catch instead of Sidestep.
I need a catching battery.

Pick up is smooth. How about the throw?

Well done! Turn over as the fans cheered their newest ST4 Blocker (assuming he survives this match, touchwood.)

 

[RK47]

Hello Tomorrow

Spoiler

It's a nice line we've put up to minimize contact, forcing the Chaos team to inch closer just to get within striking range.
This limits them to a few block per turn, and less casualty on our side.
Not that it discourages the POMB Clawer Beastman from Blitzing a 1D block...

Scoring a down on Humppalekka... and still going for a piling on! But no injury.
Next, eklektyk fall from the barrage of blocks -

No injury as Chaos set aside 2 players on ball hunting duty.

They're still quite a distance away, no case for alarm. Turnover.
Our turn now.

Need to reposition Jasede. Not gonna waste a blitz on him.

Got in there, now Anthony can blitz a rookie beastman.

Downs his man, but no armor break.
Muckguppy, having ditched the precious cargo, can now play marking duty.

Needs a go for it - but he should be OK.

No problems at all as the Knights prepare to start normal service by handing the ball over to Xenomorph.

Whoops. Spoke too soon. Not burning a reroll on this though.

Turnover!

 

[RK47]

The Patient Hunter

Spoiler

The Theorists are enjoying a rather relaxed 2D bash game.

Hellraiser is the victim this time, still no armor break though.
While Anthony and Azira gets taken down as well on the right.

Only muckguppy seem to survive the attempt.

Finally, the minotaur refuses to obey its master's command.

Theorists declares turn over as the Knights can make a play again.

Decided not to waste another turn playing safety with stabby, Xeno should get this done.

Even GFI'ed to prevent easy dodge. No Sure Feet needed.
Time for the ball -

Went without a hitch and Xenomorph pulls back.
Elsewhere, Jaedar dodges out for a blitz!

Got the down, but no injury - coach tells him to break forward - his Dodge roll is still unused for this turn.

Makes it through!

More 2D Bash - grabbing as much as we can...

Down, but not out - Jasede mission out that precious 1 SPP from level 3.
But Arkay can now run forward.

Deciding to challenge the Chaos dice a bit, eklektyk is told to dodge out.

Beautiful.
Turnover as Xenomorph holds on to the all important ball.

 

[RK47]

Unlucky!

Spoiler

Chaos Warrior goes as far as he can.

Back on their field, they setup two safeties to deal with potential receivers.

Glad they think it's an early touchdown we're after.

Davis goes down. While Azira...

Only a push.
Guppy isn't so lucky, and goes down to one dice block.

But here comes the Minotaur blitz...

Goes for Jaedar!

Phew.

Calls a reroll! And succeeded!

Just a push, but he has frenzy!

Not good.

Shit. That KO is critical. One less receiver on their end of the field means one more player going into our half to pressure our ball.

They end their turn as Hellraiser gets smacked again by a Chaos Warrior.
Our turn - and -

They used a lightning bolt on Xenomorph! Damn, I'm so unlucky!

 

[RK47]

Sweaty Palms

Spoiler

Stakes just got high - let's hope I'm not gonna mess this up.
Moving Arkay left - hopefully this will entice the safeties to switch flanks too.

They cannot reach the ball yet, so we're going to go with a soft wall here.

The midfield looks bad for us, there's no dice advantage to be had. Gotta squeeze whatever we can.

But first... Get the ball - and move it to safety.

Then we open up with the Ogre's 2D block.

Scores a down but no armor break.

Getting stabby to the left as well.

Still safe - but the noose is tightening.

They come.

Thank god.

Uh oh.

No armor break. Lucky. But piling on?

Yeowch.

Stunned.
We're taking downs everywhere - but somehow no injuries were scored..

Turn ends. Let's see if I can delay them again.

 

[RK47]

Taking Risks

Spoiler

I really want to setup some 2D blocks here. One turn of no blocking will let them have too much of the pitch.
AV8s do break. I refuse to be discouraged.

There. Davis with a stun. Doesn't follow up so he can assist Azira.

Jush a push. But he blitzed, he can move - forward - presenting himself as a scoring threat.

Elsewhere, Jasede takes a swing.

Scoring a stun.
As the turn ends - The ball is starting to look rather stupidly unsafe.

Theorists' turn -
They mark Azira.

Chaos warrior finally arrives to provide assist.

Uh oh.

Shit.

Only a push on eklektyk.

Guppy's feet nearly reaching the sidelines towards the crowd.

Hellraiser succumbing to another blow as the opponent's turn ends.
Our turn.

Ok, let's regroup.

This is probably the riskiest move of all the plays - and I'm faced with no choice.

Oh shit. Reroll (YES, REROLL!)

Succeeded!
Enough assist for a 1D blitz to Xenomorph!

Defender Stumbles!
Elsewhere, stabby trolls!

While the human blitzers start to take more risks by throwing 1D blocks.

Davis takes down his man.

Azira - Scores an injury!

Just a badly hurt, but he's free!
That's HUGE!

Ending turn with super-edgy stalling positions.