Completed Let's Play: Rage of Mages 2 (The End)

[Malakal]

Go for some orc whacking.

 

[Orgasm]

orc

 

[Lycaon]

Druid.

 

[Azira]

Do the druids. Unlock another city.

 

[ShavenApe]

Hippie communists. Unlocking cities ftw.

 

[Malakal]

Do the druids. Unlock another city.

Wait, gay hippies give another city? Change my vote to druids then.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Destination.

Spoiler

After a rather uneventful walk through the woods, we come upon some ogre. Big deal.

SHITSHIT, PULL OUT, PULL OUT!!!

Quick tactical retreat.

Soon the ogres are all out, and we find this half-dead fellow.

I went to see the hermit who lives where the rivers meet, but he wasn't there. I went on looking for him until I found these rocks. The last thing I remember is an ogre's growl, a club swinging and then darkness. What happened to the hermit? Maybe he needs help, like I did?! I'm afraid I don't have enough strength to find him after laying here uncouncious for so long...

Yes, this is a natural side effect of the healing spell. Nevertheless, you can tell us where to look for your friend. If we know where to go, we may be able to find him.

There is a road south of here. It's the only one the hermit could take.

Neat, maybe he'll give us some hermit permit.

Following the south road, we find this fag.

I am not leaving until I talk to one of your kin. It is very important, and you'll understand fully after I'm finished.

We have more important duties than talking to strangers. Zombies have suddenly invaded the country between the two rivers. We have an order from great Saken-Maye to prevent their spreading.

Saken-Maye? Moar like Sucken-Maye, amirite.

So be it. I will stand next to you in this battle.

Should your compassion guide you to support our cause, we would accept your offer. A company under the command of wise Arafel-Faye is holding the zombies between rivers right now.

He summons a bridge to take us to the other side. Neat.

Seems the druids managed to hold out without our help after all.

(old druid is old) You're correct, young lady. Nevertheless, our men are exhausted, and we can not find and destroy him until we have recovered.

Would you allow me to do it, then? The zombies were certainly controlled by one of the necromancers, and I have a good reason to hate them!

You are still young and inexperienced! Will you be able to manage the task?

Probably not, if I go all by myself. But I have friends to help me.

Exploring the forest, we find this guy. He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

Be careful when you speak, sir knight! Don't say such words about the masters of the Ancient Woods unless you plan to challenge them or us. We are hunters rather than peons. We do not have to cut trees for farming, as the woods give us food. And most importantly, we have our freedom! When the royal tax collectors come to the village, they only see empty houses, and there's nothing they can do but leave. It's easier to get along with the druids than with royal authorities.

The forest landscape suddenly changes into a pretty barren one. Guess our negro friends are near.

Suddenly, a fireball and gazillion life drains shot out of nowhere and hit Dina.

When cannons fade and the shadows disperse, we find this familiar crater. Could it be the necromancers snatched the star?

Anyway, time to return to the druids.

The zombies weren't all by themselves. I found and killed the necromancers who were controlling them. It really wasn't that hard.

You speak as if fighting the necromancers was a child's work. However, that such a victory has a dear price.

What? Nnnnnnaaaaaaaahh.

As a matter of fact, there would be trouble for us if someone in Kaarg learns about this. The King favours the necromancer guild and it is not my first encounter with them. So far my actions could have been qualified as protection of my honour and my land. However, today I deliberately attacked the necromancers without being provoked. If the guild learns of this, the king's vengeance will fall upon my family and me.

You needn't worry about it. Not even the smallest grass blade will tell of the battle today. The woods will keep your secret for as long as needed. From now on, you and your friends are welcome in the Ancient Woods. I, Arafel-Faye, invite you to a place rarely visited by plain dwellers. There, we can sit down and discuss everything in peace.

Weeee!

How fabulous!

We can also initiate flavour dialogue here.

With the shopkeeper:

And the innkeeper:

Yeah, they probably add rape pills inside.

Anyway, so far the shoppe doesn't have any worthwhile wares, but they will come in later. The druids usually have mage-oriented stuff, as their merchandise for warriors while having high defence has 0 absorption, like this dragon leather armour here. And it still can't compare to plate armour, really.

But check what I picked up in the spell section...



!!!!!!!!

Now we'll be able to do some proper killing with fire.

The inn. A new mercenary. Druid spellcaster, don't ask me why she has 251 in axe fighting 'cause I don't know.

There's also this other druid (what is this, clone wars?)

We want to find all three of the fallen stars. There are many indicators that when they are put together, life on Yases will change for the good, and the turmoil of the recent years will end.

My grandpa, an astrologer, had determined that one of the stars has fallen somewhere in the Ancient Woods, and that's why we're here. Who knows more about the woods than the druids? You can help us!

Yes, I know what you're talking about. But finding a fallen star is not much easier than obtaining one of those that shine in the sky. Listen now to this story I tell... An elven family lives in the westernmost part of the Allod. They had come here before the seeds of the first trees of the Ancient Woods fell to the ground. Even the great Saken-Maye, the lord of the druids, knows not a hundredth of what is fathomed by the elves. Their thoughts are obscure and mysterious, but even they cannot hide from the trees. In the Night of the Omen, one of the stars did indeed fall into the Ancient Woods. One of the elves happened to behold its fall. No one except the surrounding trees saw him pick up the star and take it away. The trees told us, and now we tell you this secret. I will show you the way to the western territory. After that, you will be on your own. You will have to attract the elves' attention and convince them to give you the star. There is nothing else I can do to help you.

Great. As if one group of treehugging fags was not enough, we're sent to Lord Faggot himself.

There's also this ZZ Top guitarist here.

What happened? And what kind of assistance do you require?

There is a small village on the plain frontier, which is being raided by throngs of carnivorous squirrels. These pests are besieging the village for no reason! The inhabitants of this village have always been good neighbours to us. I want to help them overcome this problem, however, their lord is very suspicious of druids. If our armed force appears there to aid the peasants, he would perceive it as an invasion. It wouldn't be nearly as complicated if a noble knight does the same.

Yes, I understand. Well, we're undoubtedly capable of destroying some rabid squirrels. Such a task would be boring rather than dangerous.

Firewall testing grounds, here we come

No, no, no! I have no intention of killing the animals at all! Their attack on the village peasants only means that something must be preventing them from living their normal life! If you find and eliminate this reason, you will be able to aid the peasants without slaughtering the squirrels. This is what I want from you!

Goddamn treehuggers. We can't even test our weapons of mass destruction properly.

And a familiar face.

Take a better look, Igles. Don't you recognise our old buddy? How are you doing Ginsush?

I enjoy living-living in the woods. I don't brawl with hunters and druids, only catch-catch animals because I'm kind of hungry. You told me all truth-truth about Ancient Woods. I owe-owe you now. Tell me when you go-go fight somewhere, I go with you.

Ginsush is an archer henchman. Pretty effective iirc. And again, he has 225 in axe fighting. Don't ask me why.

We also return to Kaarg to ask for rumours.

And check out what I picked up in the shoppe. This should aid Igles a real damn lot

Two new people in the tavern. This negrodancer among them.

I came here to discuss a classified matter with Sir Igles. May I insist on keeping this conversation confidential?

I have no secrets from my friends. If you have to say something, talk to the three of us, or not at all.

Well, if you insist. You are aware that there is trouble on Yases. Horrible crimes are happening in remote parts of the Allod.

Yes, we know that. For some unknown reason, we always meet a necromancer or two on the crime site. It's been worrying me for a while.

Yes, there are renegades among us, but our internal investigations unit is working on it. It seems that the noble lords are responsible for these outrageous actions! Have you heard about Sir Teyrack?

Yes, I do. He is greedy and cruel, and because of that has become rich and powerful. I wouldn't want him to be my lord. In fact, there is a long standing feud between our families.

We were informed that Teyrack is violating the king's law in his land by using his personal guards to terrorise the population. Even the noble knights are not safe in his land. However, if the necromancer guild sends a pacification force, it would cause undesired attention. It would be more appropriate if one of the King's knights performed this function...

How convenient.

And that's me, right?

You were the first one considered because you have personal reasons to despise Sir Teyrack. However, if you reject our proposal, we'll select another knight to do it. Give it a thought, sir Igles.

Don't show false modesty, good man. The trade guild is known all over the Allod, and no one would call its members mere tradesmen. Of course I will listen to you.

Everyone knows that your friends and you have defeated the Orcish armies in the desert.

People tend to exaggerate. We have indeed travelled to the desert, but it was nowhere near as glorious as you say. Shall we get down to business now?

Our guild has been sending caravans into the mountains for years. The caravan path winds through the Orcish lands. We have spent a lot of money and effort to make this path reasonably safe. For some time now, almost all caravans made it to their destination safely. However, recently we started losing more and more. The caravans would just disappear! We petitioned the King, but our request was turned down. He values his soldiers too much to send them to the desert. You, Sir Igles, are the one not afraid of the sands. On behalf of the trade guild, I beg you to satisfy our request and deal with our misfortune. Of course, your compensation will be well worth it.

Trade is an old an honourable occupation. I can see no disgrace to me in fulfilling your guild's wish.

So, here are our options:

The quest we picked up from the half-dead druid in the woods.

And the main quest.


Fuck, that was a lot of typing. Anyway, my suggested course of action is that we first take the squirrels because we WILL need mercenary support for this one. Then either the caravans or the hermit or both. After that the stronghold 'cause I think we might need support again, and mercenaries are unavailable for one mission after using them.

DISCUSS

 

[lightbane]

Pick the squirrels' one, horrible creatures.

 

[Azira]

Squirrel!!

 

[Lycaon]

Squirrel.

 

[marooned]

Rampaging squirrels.

 

[Malakal]

Squirrels require emrcenaries? What kind of dumbed down shit is this? Go fry the solo!

 

[Darth Roxor]

Squirrels require emrcenaries? What kind of dumbed down shit is this? Go fry the solo!

Oh, you will see why they require mercs. And no, going solo is just not an option because we'll need to spread forces.

 

[Kaucukovnik]

Awesome LP (well, I haven't read it whole yet).
I had to dig my RoM2 disc and start playing again.

Found this page:
http://www.freewebs.com/rom2/

One of the links provides a high resolution patch. It seems to fix extremely fast scrolling for me as well. Strongly recommended.

 

[Fafnir]

Rampaging squirrels.

 

[Black_Willow]

Rampaging squirrels.

 

[Darth Roxor]

squirrel quest is one huge clusterfuck of epic proportions. spreading forces? you are brave, sir. i usually just run around like a retard.

squirrel quest, of course.

It's usually piss easy if you have the troll henchman (hell, every mission is piss easy with that one), but right now, we don't really have him. But I think we'll manage.

 

[ShavenApe]

Bumping for PETA's sake.

 

[Darth Roxor]

First things first: the mercenaries.

Spoiler

These three should be enough.

Our men were so desperate that they picked up their pitchforks and tried to get rid of the squirrels themselves. There's no one left in the village now! The squirrels took them away!

I wonder how they did that, though. Did the squirrel mafia abduct them into their black cars or something?

Well, we shall see if we can find them. Could you give us approximate directions?

They took them along the south road, and no one has heard from them since. Our village will cease to exist if they don't return! Damn squirrels!

Weird. Normally, these creatures hunt in the woods, and not in the plains. Something's wrong here.

People say it's all because the queen squirrel detests us. Don't attack it if you see it. You may be able to settle this fiasco somehow.

Queen squirrel? I remember hearing tales about it, but it never occurred to me that it actually exists!

I didn't think so too... But one of the lads who disappeared swore he saw it with his own eyes! I had to believe the tales when I heard that!

The moment we leave the village, squirrels try to bumrush us. Guess we're on the right track.

And these are the abducted yokels, I guess. They're behind a wall of stone, we can't do anything about them for now.

Heading through this valley...

We find this level 4 squirrel. Guess that's the queen.

Cute. A talking squirrel. Time to engage in diplomacy.

It's you who intrudes in people's lives, squirrel! Get out of here now, if you care about your survival!

I would be very pleased to take my flock to the woods on the other side of the river. I have absolutely no need for these noisy and generally annoying peasants. Besides, they taste awful. However, a bunch of greedy ogres has taken that part of the forest, and they let no one in. So we squirrels are unable to move there.

Will you move away from the village if the road is cleared?

Certainly, human. And no one of my flock will assail a human from this side of the river ever again. In addition to that, I will even let the hostages return to their village.

It's a deal, then. There's nothing left to do but find these ogres.

You have said your words, and I have heard them. I will order my subjects to grant you free passage to the river.

So, here the deal:

There are these four bridges. There are blue ogres on the other side of each. And if my memory serves me well, they're all linked and rush to the other side if attacked.

Which means we have to try spreading our forces:

Igles with shield + KC as healer here (Igles is probably gonna get fucked, but whatever)

Warrior merc + dina and mage merc as healers on bridge #2

And the druid merc securing bridge #3 and 4. How, you ask? She has the 'wall of stone' spell. Summons an impenetrable barrier that disappears after a while. Neat for aggro control.

Also, another important thing: the squirrels can't die. Or at least most of them. If 3-4 kick the bucket, it's okay, but if more of them die - mission failed.

Igles struggles to survive

But the second bridge is not being stormed.

Neither are the third and fourth ones...

Well, shit. Guess the ogres aren't linked after all.

So we move all forces to the bridges to take the ogres out using conventional methods.

Yeah, here's why having a second fighter is also good. When the ogres enter the bridge, the squirrels decide it's a great idea to rush them and get killed. But this way, we can effectively block and prevent them from being harmed.

Here's what one of the ogres dropped. Neat stuff.

Compared to our current one.

Second bridge.

Third bridge.

Wait, what?!

Then it struck me: It's not the ogres that are linked. The squirrels of bridge #3 and #4 are. When you engage the ogres at either of the bridge, mobs of squirrels from both bridges rush ahead. Which means wall of stone will prove useful after all

Yeah, have fun trying to get through this, stupid furfags.

Some actually managed to get through due to a stupid way the wall is summoned. But there are still plenty to go down before the mission fails.

Support arrives.

All ogres are down. Time to inform the queen.

Damn right. Wasn't as hard as I remembered it.

Some stuff I picked up in Kaarg's shoppe:

Badass.


You can now vote whether you prefer to investigate the disappearing caravans or check up on the Hermit guy.

 

[Darth Roxor]

caravans, and damn you, using stone wall is no fun at all.

 

[Azira]

The hermit sounds annoying. Do that quest. :wink:

 

[spekkio]

Do the Hermit.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Right, I actually skipped the Hermit quest for this LP because it was ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BORING.

Spoiler

Here's a short summary of the mission:

VICTORY!!111 I didn't even get a single gold coin or item to sell there. Bah.

But this mission means business.

However, we can not rely on this protection. The caravans wouldn't have disappeared if the towers were functioning properly.

I know something about the way magic towers work. Anyone in possession of the corresponding room can control them. The towers can become hostile should the runes fall into enemy hands!

Yes, this is a possibility. Especially considering that the trade guild probably ordered the tower grid from the lowest bidder. I do not have much experience with magic towers myself, so you will have to guide us while we check your notion, Dina.

Great. We depart on our epic journey of majestic conquest.

When suddenly, the towers open fire on us.

Nobody saw it coming, eh?

These towers are plagued by a pestilence that I am here to cure. With steel and fire.

Oh yes, there'll be a lot of fire in this mission.

Anyway, guess we have to take the way around (^ screenshot number 1688. Date of the Glorious Revolution in England. Fucking history exams make me see fucking dates everywhere)

Enemy sighted!

Shit.

Anyway, trannies and gentlemen. Behold: the ultimate in nuking technology.

The firewall.

And the best thing about it is that it stacks, which means you can just summon 10 firewalls on someone's head and watch the bbq.

Soundtrack for this episode: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHE9qmeVNgY (a fitting song, even if almost completely stolen from a band called Gamma Ray, but that's a story for another time)

The orc shaman dropped a funky rune.

OH NOES!!

Our objective is clear then. Find runes, find the control centre, disable the towers.

Some bats and ogre attempt to stop us.

Hello, another orc village.

BURRRRRRRRRRN.

BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN.

Oops.

We obviously need more...

SCORCHED EARTH!!

Man, dropping all these firewalls on stuff is amusing as fuck.

Send a few fireballs towards some shaman for good measure, too.

Among the wreckage we find another rune.

Some level 3 goblins (note: they suck ass)

And then, there's this.

Splendid.

MMMMMMOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRR

The only problem with firewall is that the AI is not as dumb as you might think, and instead of charging straight into the fire, enemies will actually go around. This is sometimes useful to stall incoming enemy forces by a second or two, but sometimes it also leads to us being encircled and the mages getting slaughtered.

After the fire dies down, we search the corpses and find another rune.

Which means we should be able to find a hole in the defence grid and get to the other side of the valley right now.

And indeed, we do.

Also, the towers now do our bidding. So it's possible to lure monsters near them to unleash some havoc

Each projectile shot from a tower does a whopping 70 damage, so they're pretty fucking useful.

More goblins.

And among them a black (level 4) goblin pikeman. Black goblins are the only ones worth a damn, and they can hit pretty hard.

And the last orc village.

Routine course of action.

Only the shaman is left.

WHAT THE FUCK, MOAR?!

One of the orcs left this dress, which we give to Dina.

FFS. You can't have a single fucking mission without any fucking undead.

Moar, accompanied by spiders and bats.

Derp.

There's also this level 3 succubus, with a helluva many bats.

Hohoho, it also has prismatic spray that wipes out our party completely.

Hello there, demon freak. Meet my towery friends

The succubus manages to get away, but at least the bats have all been cleared.

Taking it out is a pure formality.

We also meet another ogre.

Guess it's time to deliver the last rune to the control centre.

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Turns out the other altar was right next to the last orcish village. *Shrug*

Damn right. We also get a whopping 500k gold as reward.


This concludes today's update. Next stop - Rebel Stronghold (AKA raep, iirc).

 

[lightbane]

Wait, was your mage Kingcomrade kicking ass INSTEAD of being asskicked? Heresy! ... Just kidding, good that for once your mage can actually hurt something. Can you be accidentally set on fire/be damaged by your own fire spells?

 

[takillya]

yes, your spells can kill your own characters.

i had to say this: you can select a spell in the spellbook and press ctrl+a to make it autofire (remove staff first). Now you can really spam those fireballs

This LP brought back some nice memories.