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Insulting spree. Randomly go around and insult people.
Targeted insulting spree. Follow around a specific other colonist, insulting them repeatedly.
Tantrum. Go around randomly smashing furniture, buildings, and damageable items.
Bedroom tantrum. Go to your own room and randomly smash furniture, buildings, and damageable items.
Targeted tantrum. Go to destroy a single, specific, randomly-chosen, valuable item or building.
Sadistic rage. Melee attack prisoners for a while. Fists only. Only occurs when there are prisoners to attack. Does not attack downed prisoners.
Corpse obsession. Dig up a corpse and drop it on a meeting spot table or in a random high-traffic area. The mental break then ends.
Catatonic. Collapse on the spot into a downed state with a psychological breakdown. Recover some days later. This can be implemented by a “catatonic breakdown” hediff.
Jailbreaker. Colonist goes to a random prisoner (who is capable of prison breaking), and upon doing a special “spark jailbreak” action with them, induces an immediate prison break in that prisoner.
Slaughterer. Slaughter random colony animal(s) periodically.
Murderous rage. Hunt down a specific colonist or prisoner (randomly chosen) and attempt to kill them by melee attack. Uses melee weapon or fists, as equipped. Keep attacking until the target is dead.
Run wild. The pawn basically starts acting like an animal. You can tame him to try to get him to rejoin.
Anyway, boot - reconsider, plox. Don't throw your life down the shitter. We might use you in future! :D
Also, talk whatever you want but Kalin is being role-played top notch this season! Well, Blobra (I luv how Grim calls him in different ways every time) is also perfect, as well as Luka-boy and Lizzurd. Cant complain about miself 8)
Reinhardt is going to be our colony humble badass, I guess :D
Inb4 Kalinski trying to heroically charge 100 meters towards the furfag wielding his Silver Klub.
Except it is already expertly cut into tasty filets for 90 meters when he arrives. By an anonymous las0r. And Grimwulf berating him for not being as useful as whoever might have fired that laser.
Krivol is deliberately trying to kill us all with her poisonous broth.
You're dramatizing.
Am I?
What do you want me to do? I can't cook borsch and build Grimlin at the same time!
Appoint a new cook then. Even Luka-boy wasn't that bad!
Luka-boy is our only miner, unless you expect Kalin to actually start doing his job.
Think of something, Grim. Otherwise KKK will be drenched in vomit in no time.
Later that morning.
Enjoying your breakfast, eh?
More like trying to keep it inside for more than three minutes.
You'll get used to it, nazi boy. Everyone does. *slurps on the foul broth with great appetite*
*watching Kalin with disgust*
*picks up something round, soft, and absolutely repulsive from his soup* What's that?
... Goat's anus.
Brilliant. *swallows it whole*
*enters the room* Why the sad face, Senor Investigator?
Our new guy ain't happy about KKK's food. Obviously he had never eaten dead squirrels or dog testicles. Raw.
Krivol's soup is just as delicious as her own voice. Deep. Hard. Crispy. Absolutely stunning.
I would prefer plain. Tasteless, even.
*burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp* PARDON ME, Princess! Where are my FOOKEN MANNERS?! Must have left dem on anutha continent!
*gives Kalin a long, heavy stare* This place desperately needs... purging.
*wipes his mouth* Purge THIS! *spits in Reinhardt's soup and walks outside*
DAY 22
Goin' somewhere, Kalin?
Mah quarry needs some lovin'.
FUCK yer quarry! GRIMLIN is all that matters now! You won't get neither free time, NOR WAGES, until all plantlife around the construction site is downright DESTROYED! Is that understood?
Whu-- WAGES?!
*simply walks away, enters the dining room* And what exactly is YOUR problem, asscracker?
Overly long workshifts and general ungratefulness of my Kommissar.
I must be hearin' things. Was that... hrmpf, can't remember the word... Ah, yes - A COMPLAINT?!
I live like a slave! Slave of labour! Slave of a tyrant! Slave of my own clothes! I WANT FREEEEEEDOOOOOOM! LA LIBERTAD!! *bangs his spoon at the table*
*headbutts Luka-boy*
OWWWWWWW!!
See? You are free to get rekd by your Kommissar any time. NOW START WORKING, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
Mierde! Ese hijo de puta me las pagara!
I am a calm, patient man. It ain't easy to make me explode, but you... You're really testing my composure.
*remembers his diplo training* I'm sorry for this little outbreak, Kommissario. It won't happen again. Hugs?
No hugs. No homo. *walks away*
Luka-boy is weird. I don't like him.
All KKK's residents are weird.
Yeah, but at least I can understand why they stick around. All of us are either too stupid, or too desperate. Sometimes mind-controlled. But Luka-boy... he's different.
Hummmmmm, Kommissar Grim Wolf, are you sure Luka-boy is a kommunist?
Who's Luka-boy?
Hoh? Humm... Forget it.
Meanwhile.
Reconsider.
No, ma'am. I've made up my mind.
You are supposed to be my personal assistant. I need you here. I command you to stay.
Kommissar said--
Grimwulf doesn't care about anyone, Boot. If you go ahead and shoot your brains out right in front of him, he would watch you idly, thinking about suitable colour for Grimlin's floors.
... Still. I wish to prove myself useful. Cleaning and spying are not my only talents.
Indeed. Acting suicidal is what you do best.
*long pause* Ma'am..? Are you worried about me?
No more than I'm worried about those sandbags. I need them right where they are, and in proper condition.
... I see.
*enters the dining room*
SENORITA!! Your face is like a boundless ocean - absolutely breathtaking to look at!
Here is a free piece of advice: if you're bad at doing something, don't do it. You're bad at making compliments, Luka-boy.
It wasn't a compliment - it was a scream of my heart, a bloodloss of my soul.
*shuffles the cards* I killed a man with a card once. Slit his throat.
Oooooooh, sexy stories!
That was the whole story, actually. How about a game of Blackjack? If I win, you owe me a favour.
And if I win?
I'll make sure you won't suffer a humiliating death from a card slitting your throat while you sleep.
I'm in.
A bit later.
You cheated!
Of course I did. But it's a victory nonetheless.
As for the favour, I want you to do everything it takes to change Boot's mind about the whole Grimhound arrangement. It's a suicide mission.
But... How am I supposed to do that?
You have carte blanche on this one. Talk him out. Bribe him. Make Bimbo mind-rape his brain. Cut his legs if necessary - I don't care what you do, as long as it works.
*HAMMERS stone bed like a fucking Hephaestus* Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?
Didn't mean to spoil the experience of Kodex Kommunistic Resort Spa Delux, but, you know, THERE IS SO MUCH FUCKING WORK TO DO, AND NOT NEARLY ENOUGH PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLIN' TO DO ANYTHING BUT EAT, SHIT, AND SLEEP!!!
Stop... screaming.
WAKE DA FUCK UP, YOU LAZY MAGGOT AND GET YOUR SKINNY ASS TO GRIMLIN! Fuck!
I'm not feeling well. Must be the soup.
THAT'S THE POINT! You want to eat soup - YOU WORK FOR IT!!
I don't wa--
*power-walks to the workshop*
*smiles* Hey, Grim.
What are you smiling about?
No reason. Probably Bimbo messing up with my mind again.
How's your research? I need dem battery blueprints yesterday!
Just a few more days. *whispers* To tell you the truth, I am not really a scientist.
This ain't no laughing matter. We're running out of fuel!
Do you have to be so tense all the time? Speaking of which... I've been wandering about something for a while now.
What is it?
How do you relax?
I don-- Wait... what?
Everyone has a hobby, right? What's yours?
...
Well?
... Alcohol.
Alcohol is not a hobby.
Are you..? Might be the first damn time in my life I'm asking that question, but... Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm feeling fine. Why?
... Just askin'. Gotta work.
See you later, Grim.
Cutting dem trees and bushes has a positive side effect: moar medicine.
We should really start growing medical herbs at some point. Not now, though. POTATOES is second most important thing around, right after Grimlin.
Cheetah assured me that we'll have batteries soon. About damn time!
That weird conversation between us... No point in overthinking this, I guess. She could have simply forgotten we had it before. It wasn't even so long ago
Boot spotted cargo pods dropping nearby.
Dat boy sure has a good sight. Too bad he's going to die soon, and we won't be able to preserve his meat. What a waste.
All in all, it was a calm, moderately productive day, dedicated to Grimlin.
Later that day.
Mom? Mom! MOM! Kek.
OH! I'm so sorry, Sasha - I was lost in thoughts.
What thoughts?
If I married Kalin, would you accept him as a father?
NO! No, NO! Although... No. Just... NO!!
Awwww.
Hey, mom...
Yes, my cucumber?
Stop calling me that! I, uh... Say, do you believe in ghosts?
Of course not, you silly Shoggoth.
What about hallucinations? You've had your share of them, no?
Really? I cannot recall...
*sigh* Do you have any medications with you? Pills, anything?
Your mother's love is the best treatment. Come, let me give you a healing kiss.
Kek, no. Gross.
Are you done with that FUCKING FAMILY REUNION, for fuck's sake?!
Kommissar! Would you PLEASE mind the f-word! MY CHILD is here!
*wanders away, feeling extremely anxious for no obvious reason*
Lizzurd shits himself because of Krivol's speshul meals - he simply cannot make it to the toilet in time.
No idea why doesn't he wash though. Probably because in Soviet KKK you gotta wait in line in order to use the only wash bucket No idea at all.
What a shitty weather.
Hommmmm... Something doesn't feel right...
That fog and rain came out of nowhere. Pretty ominous, if you ask me.
Shut yer chattin' holes, damn you! You will spoil my focus.
I beg your pardon?
Ignore the mad fucker - he's probubly speakin' to the dead people or sumthin'.
Are you saying our leader is insane? Just great.
*walks away grumbling* Dem gud-for-nuthin' loiterers eavesdroppin' on honest man's conversations...
Grim. Really. Something isn't right.
Give me a break, Azira, you paranoid bastard.
You can barely see those full moons through that fog...
Later that evening.
Lizzurd?
*shaking*
Lizzurd. Can you hear me?
*trembling voice* Leave me alone...
*shrugs* Fine.
Nonono, NO! NO!!! BEGONE!!!
... Lizzurd?
Time's up.
*closes his eyes and plugs his ears with both arms*
*murmurs to herself* What the hell is wrong with you?
Behold. Your. Death.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*distant SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK*
Meanwhile.
Shh, hear that?? Was it Bliblablubb?
Proably eatin' Krivol's soup.
I want to die so bad.
Same here.
Hommm, missus Bliblableigh? Can we speak in gestures plox?
**DOES HER MIND-FUCKING THING VIOLENTLY**
FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
Wh--
*distant bleating chorus*
Uh-oh.
HOMMMM, there is something in the mist.
Grim...
Stay calm and KEEP BUILDING. Also, shut up.
*BLEATING*
*mumbles to himself* The fuck is that..?
Grim. GRIM!
WHAT?!
BLIBLABLUBB IS STILL HERE!!
I bet she's NOT going anywhere until we DO SOMETHING!
DO SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT, AZIRA?!
**GOES FOR ANOTHER ROUND**
HUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRR!!!
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAGH! This! THIS!!!
Motherfucker...
This isn't real. Is it..?
What a weird question coming from a GHOST!
I may be a ghost, but this... This is a whole other level of weird.
It can wait. I must build Griml--
... lin.
FUCK Grimlin! We gotta RUN!
Meanwhile.
Kek. Kek. Kek. It's okay. It's okay. Kek. Shodan, help me... *breaks down and starts crying*
Meanwhile.
Sir, I think we should get back inside.
Nonsense. Get back to work!
Everyone is going back... And so should you.
Because what, you've heard GOATS?!
This sound... wasn't goats. *walks away*
Where do you think u r goin'? HEY! COME BACK HERE!
One hour later.
*enters the workshop* WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS MUTINY?!
*looks at the fire with blank stare*
And what's wrong with him?
No idea.
He needs a hug and some good scrubbin'.
Well, I need you all to WORK! OUTSIDE!!
Nope. Not gonna make a single step outside these doors.
That does it. Come here, you piece of--
A bit later.
*huff puff*
*panting* When you stop running and... Huff... Willin' to put up a fite...
Shhh. Listen...
They are coming closer...
Hrmpf. Go to sleep, everyone. I want all of you up and workin' before 6 AM!
*BLEATS*
*murmurs* The Old Gods...
*RAMS the door*
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.
*enters the dining room* Get to the barracks, Lizzurd. And lock the door from inside.
*not even trying to move, just weeping*
Oh, for God's sake...
*more RAMMING and BLEATING*
*pshhhh* Kommissar, we need you at the dining room. Right now, if you will.
A bit later.
*sleepy* What?!
They will take down these shoddy doors if we don't keep watch.
*repairs the doors, while swearing a lot*
Who's going to take the first shift? I volunteer.
First shift... First. Shift. Shift. Oh, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! *kicks open the barracks door*
WAKE UP, YOU COWARDS!! I'm not having some GODDAMN GOATS threaten my Kolony!! Are you FUCKING SERIOUS?!
Space Krizto, we are TRYING TO SLEEP HERE, you bastard!!!
NO, you are trying to HIDE! FROM GOOOOAAAATS!!! *enraged* It's high time to decide if we act like MEN, or act like GRASS!
They... they have adapted. Sending yuge waves of useless peasants against their enemies is a proud and honored soviet tradition.
We cannot meet them on even grounds. I won't let them beat us at our own game! We simply don't have enough Kalinskis to spare for this.
So, we will do it like Georgej Washingtonski, the famous 'murican KKKommunist of old: Hide. Then shoot them in the back.
If the KKKommissar feels daring (or is more drunk than usual), he can make Boot the new Private Greenbutt. Boot gets his 5 mins of fame, we get a distraction, Grimwulf gets new paint for the Grimlin. Everyone wins.
Seems like a glitch in the Matrix. Cheeto's mindcontrol is slipping. We need to act fast, or she will cut you in your sleep with a broken Vodka bottle. And not in the playful sexy way proper soviet wymyn do it.
Meh, I wanted to post early but my internet connection got fucked up. I think we should TRY to fight them. If those creepy goats won't be shooting lazorz from their eyes like Beniamin does, we might stand a chance. If they do... Well, damn.
Just dont get overwhelmed by them. Two or three melee combatants on one pawn means death most of the time.