Kodex Kommunistic Kolony in Rimworld, Seasons 2, 3

[vazha]

Oh Boy!

 

[Bliblablubb]

Mindcontrol: rolling for initiative! Here goes nutin'

 

[Bliblablubb]

Crepe. Shouldn't have eaten the icycle BEFORE trying to mindcontrol someone. Don't drink and mindrape kids!

But hey, at least 1000 shekelz to spend on booze and... well actually us elder beings are above money, so Kalin can spend it on womyn if he likes. (And I am pretty sure she would have stabbed me in my sleep eventually anyway)




Next up: rolling for Grimwulf's fate. Still boozed.

 

[Bliblablubb]

Criticool hit! You better spawn Grimwulf carrying yuge amounts of ice cream for that!


If there was any doubt Grimwulf was destined to return: the dice don't lie!

:russia::russiastronk::russia:

 

[hello friend]

4 is a success bro

 

[Bliblablubb]

4 is a success bro

In my book yes. Kalinski might have preferred an obidient luv slave instead.

 

[Storyfag]

4 is a success bro

In my book yes. Kalinski might have preferred an obidient luv slave instead.

But you're not rolling on the "convince to stay in KKK" table, you're rolling on the "mind raep (tasteful?)" table.

 

[Reinhardt]

It's just temporary solution. When you find Grimwulf he can recruit her.

 

[Grimwulf]

Trusting Bliblo was the right KEY CHOICE after all.

Crepe. Shouldn't have eaten the icycle BEFORE trying to mindcontrol someone. Don't drink and mindrape kids!

But hey, at least 1000 shekelz to spend on booze and... well actually us elder beings are above money, so Kalin can spend it on womyn if he likes. (And I am pretty sure she would have stabbed me in my sleep eventually anyway)

You were rolling this:

Spoiler

1. Failure! The woman escapes. Kalin gets nothing.
2. Failure! Your attempt is revealed, Croc takes it personal. Kalin gets nothing.
3. Success! She is your thrall now.
4. Success! She is your thrall now.
5. Success! She is your thrall now.
6. Critical success! She is your thrall now, and Croc pays 500 silver for Kalin to keep her safe.

So she's your thrall now. Congrats!

Last CYOA update is coming this evening (Moscow time). Meanwhile, the password to both archives is Dreaad.

I'll spare you the trouble and post the contents there.

Blib's message

There were several ways to decipher the symbols. First and most obvious is using the last pic in that update as the key.

Next, you could google this font if you really wanted to bruteforce the answer.

Finally, guessing password was not an impossible task either.

Since Bliblablubb considers Kalin a primitive lifeform, she tried to draw a picture, just in case he won't understand the symbols. She's not great at drawing.

destinations

The Harbinger - hitman from mysterious company
Mysterious Man - werewolf hunting the woman
Besieged Tower - PTSD maniac, survivor of the Deer Apocalypse
Ferry - Grimwulf

We are going to the Ferry now. Well played, everyone.

 

[hello friend]

That could hardly have turned out better

 

[Bliblablubb]

You were rolling this:

Ooops, wrong spoiler tag. Vodka and Putin made it a success anyway. "Teh Woman" was added to inventory. Most excellent.

Bliblablubb, Croc asks if he can buy a labrador? He only needs one (you can choose which one yourself) and is willing to pay 500 silver.

Forgot aboot this. While I consider them slightly smarter than Kalin, I am still not overly attached to them. I leave it to the hivemind (or Kalin) to decide if and who we let go.

 

[vazha]

Besieged Tower - PTSD maniac, survivor of the Deer Apocalypse

Xaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxa!!!

 

[Storyfag]

Besieged Tower - PTSD maniac, survivor of the Deer Apocalypse

Xaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxa!!!

Could be, could be. But I rather suspect Dreaad is the author of the mysterious letter Kalinsky found.

 

[Azira]

Bliblablubb, Croc asks if he can buy a labrador? He only needs one (you can choose which one yourself) and is willing to pay 500 silver.

Forgot aboot this. While I consider them slightly smarter than Kalin, I am still not overly attached to them. I leave it to the hivemind (or Kalin) to decide if and who we let go.

Hello friend...

 

[Andnjord]

Bliblablubb you high roller bro! Ever considered going to Vegas?

Forgot aboot this. While I consider them slightly smarter than Kalin, I am still not overly attached to them. I leave it to the hivemind (or Kalin) to decide if and who we let go.

This portion of the hivemind votes for selling one dog, preferably Hello Friend.

 

[hello friend]

: (

 

[Lagole Gon]

Good job bros.

Tasteful tentacle mind rape is the only answer.

 

[Andnjord]

: (

Think of it as a way to avoid the inevitable early death that will result in you sticking with Kalin.

 

[Kalin]

Hawt diggity! Always bet on Neanderthal ancient multi-headed dik-squidz.

And yeah, sell one worthless mutt and buy anutha 28 beers.

Should cost 504 silver shekels. Good thang I kept those 4 extra coins in the emergency fund.

 

[Bliblablubb]

Good thang I kept those 4 extra coins in the emergency fund.

It was meant to be. The Spirit of KKKommunism guides us.

So, we are gonna start our new season with food, firearms, 52 bottles of beer and ~20 vodka-flavored icycles. Sounds like one week of heaven to me.


Btw: if "The Woman" turns out to be the trannie you were waiting for:

Spoiler

Ima gonna send her to entertain Kalin, convinced he will love it. Because I cannot into human genders. And drawing

 

[Storyfag]

Nah, she's probably just a werewolf

 

[Kalin]

Hah, werewolves! I ain't afraid of no furfags.


In before:

Spoiler

 

[Reinhardt]

 

[vazha]

Besieged Tower - PTSD maniac, survivor of the Deer Apocalypse

Xaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxa!!!

Could be, could be. But I rather suspect Dreaad is the author of the mysterious letter Kalinsky found.

Nah, Dreaad would not be able to devise any sort of a coherent plan. The D. in that letter probably stands for DevilDeer, Grimdeer's arch-nemesis.

 

[Grimwulf]

Sometimes questions lead to trouble, Kalin. Do me a favor, take the silver and go search for that man who owes you.

Excuse me. I need to take a shit. *walks away* Psst. Bobby.

*pop*

Need sum squid magic here. That woman is something more than potential rec time. Can you make her stay? Like, MAKE her stay?

*GURGLE*

Atta girl.

*ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL*

*closes her eyes*

Are you alright, Cheetah?

My head feels... fuzzy...

You really need to go home. Your father must be worried sick about you.

... Actually... I'd rather accompany Kalin for a while.

WHAT?!

Don't worry. I can take care of myself.

BUT WHY?!

I-- *long pause* If you see my father, tell him-- *another long pause*

*trying hard to establish a solid connection*

Are you sure you're feeling okay?

*makes his return to the bar* Let's talk business before we talk women. I got stuff to sell.

I'm not buying. Although... 500 silver for a dog.

SOLD! Bob, bring the stupid one!

*sets Hello Friend free, popping in sadness*

Anything else?

Food, meds, beer. A fuckton of beer.

... Maybe you should buy weapons instead? I would sleep better knowing you are capable of protecting her.

Naaah. Beer.

I won't try to stop you if you've made up your mind, Cheetah. But are you absolutely sure about it?

I'm going with Kalin.

Great. I need someone who can haul all that beer.

... Can you at least accept some clothing? I have a suit and a trenchcoat here, reserved by a customer who's not showing up for days now. I doubt he will. Take it.

Thank you.

Be safe. *speaks in low voice* Everything will descent into chaos without you. Come back home as soon as you can.

I will... *face expresses pain* try.

Cheetah, isn't it? Come on, we have places to go.

Lead the way.

Yah, about that... *looking at Bliblablubb*

*sexy tentacle waving*

Dafaq are you doin'? *sigh* I'm going to regret it so much, but... lead the way, Brobra. If you won't find him, nobody will.

*hesitates for a moment, then heads NE, towards the ferry*

Next evening.

*GURGLE*

That's the place!

Spoiler

Ahoy, furry man!

It's ferryman. Charles the name.

KALIN - now THAT's a fucking name! Take me to the communists. Time is moneh, so make it fast!

That will be 60 silver for all of you, and extra 10 for the dogs.

Yeh yeh, take th-- motherfucker.

*makes something resembling a facepalm with her tentacles*

*waiting*

My, uhh, friend is waiting for me on the other side. He will pay.

I suggest you leave. *takes a handgun out of his robes*

This man is acting as my bodyguard. Do as he says.

... Apologies. I didn't recognize your face in the dark.

Apology accepted.

*makes a welcoming gesture, invinting the group on the boat*

*mumbles* Aren't you full of surprises...

Hours later.

Are we there yet? I'm getting seasick.

Six, maybe seven hours until we reach our destination.

*sigh*

*keeps silent all the way, observing Bliblablubb*

Is there a problem?

She's fucking with my head, isn't she?

What makes you think so?

Hard to focus. I feel... relaxed. I don't like to be relaxed.

*confused gurgling*

Take my advice - enjoy this experience. It's the best thing you can do.

When I'm trying to think about killing or leaving you, my mind falls into this... foggy... state... *rubs her forehead*

How about you tell me about yourself?

How about I don't?

*throws an angry look at Bliblablubb*

*tentacle shrug*

Kalin's notes

Mind control? More like popamole. Need another beer.

The more I travel with these so-called komrades, the more I understad what I'm doin' it for. Grimwulf is annoying as fuck, but at least he can be fun. Sometimes. Barely ever. But still!

If he's gone forever, I'll be forced to stay with gurgling alien, cold-hearted bitch who doesn't even talk to me, and the dogs. I swear, talking to the dogs is way more engaging than having a conversation with Cheetah and Bimbo combined.

The ferryman takes his sweet-ass time. Is it because of the money? Okay, so I've spent all our funds on beer and shit. BUT WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THE FERRYMAN NEEDS A FEE?! I MEAN, FUCK!!! HE IS A FERRYMAN!! COME ON!

Grimwulf better be there. Or else.

Six, maybe seven hours later.

We're here. Head east until you see Trudograd.

Thank you. Accept this little gift. *hands Glock-17 to the ferryman*

HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!

Stop yelling like an orangutan and lead the way. *arms herself with a sniper rifle*

Is this SUPPOSED to work like that, Bob?

*affirmative pop-pop*

Goddamit.

Spoiler

Stupid rain, can't see shit with muh poor eye. Are those..?

Dead bodies.

Spoiler

Stay on your guard.

*GURGLE*

No gurgling. Keep it quiet.

Spoiler

Psst. I see silver.

Not your regular criminals. Not pirates or slave traders.

Spoiler

Was it Grimwulf? He has a nasty habit of going mental every now and then.

What's his weapon of choice?

Arbalest, flame bolts, shoddy wrench, and looots of swearing.

It wasn't him then. Look. Gunshot wounds. Two shots to the heart, one to the head. Perfect hits. Professional work.

... Not space lazor.

Ever thought of making a criminalist career?

Fuck you.

Spoiler

I can still see some blood, despite the rain. The firefight happened not so long ago.

The walls are trashed. Hardly a work of profeshinul sniper, eh?

No. Definetely machine guns. But the bullet marks make no sense...

How so?

Spoiler

It's like they were shooting... from above. And I don't mean the rooftops. A helicopter..?

*silent popping*

Poor fools didn't know what hit them. Everything happened too fast. No signs of resistance.

Spoiler

A group of professional killers surrounded the town unnoticed. They attacked swiftly, acted as a team. A helicopter joined soon after, providing cover fire... and several missiles. Their goal was to wipe this place out of existence.

Even if we find Grimwulf here, it will be Grimwulf's corpse. Hey? Cheetah?

*looks around in confusion*

What ails you? Come on!

I don't understand... Kalin, I know each and every armed group inhabitating this realm. I know who they are, what do they want, what are they capable of. I know drug dealers, arms dealers, slave traders, pirates, low-life mobs, medieval warbands, cultists, wannabe-governments - I know them all. But this attack? I have no idea who could have done that...

You seem to know a lot of things. It makes my eyepatch tingle, if you know what I mean.

Let's take a look at the town square.

*crawls ahead*

Careful, Bimbo!

*SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEK*

Spoiler

GRIMWULF, YOU FUCK!!!

*staring in the distance, all soaked wet with rain*

Spoiler

I HATE YOU!! ALSO, YOU OWE ME YUGE MONEH, YUUUUUUUUGE!!! NOW PAY UP!

*happy gurgle*

Grimwulf, isn't it? I'm Cheetah.

Spoiler

I see you found a new girlfriend, Kalin. Good. I was worried about you after Greenballs died.

I'm not his girfriend, fortunately. More like a slave toy of this gorgeous alien abomination.

*timid popping*

On a more serious note, we need to talk.

You need to talk? You?! YOU NEED TO TALK?! --I-- NEED TO TALK TO THIS PIECE OF MAD FUCKING--

Kalin, for fucks sake, stop yellin'! You're gonna wake up the dead. Let's talk inside.

Spoiler

*enters the building* Now. Let's talk.

Spoiler

Tell me wh--

What. In FUCK's name. Are you doing here?!

That's not how it works. Everyone asks one question, starting with me. I am your Kommissar, after all. Why are you not working in KKK, Kalin?

Why I am-- WHAT?!

Answer the damn question.

I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU, FUCKING CUNT BAG!!!

Should have guessed. You'll never miss a chance to skip working hours. Any stupid excuse will do.

MY TURN! THE FUCK, GRIMWULF?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

To put it short... Not long before I left, I received a message from Trudy. You remember Trudy? My burly ex-lover? Well, she's dead now.

You... you... YOU LEFT KKK TO FUCK TRUDY?!

I didn't leave KKK, you idiot. Also, no further questions, you gotta wait in line. Next!

What happened here?

Everything was fine when I arrived. Then I got drunk. Needed to pee. Was looking for a toilet, but none was found. So I went to the forest, apparently got lost. Fell asleep.

Typical Grimwulf. Motherfucker.

When I woke up, the power of hangover and ghost guidance led me back to Trudograd. But all I found was... this.

... Damn. I was hoping for details. Anything.

I'm not sure if it was real or a side effect of stronk liquids, but I might have seen a chopper in the sky when I woke up.

I doubt it was caused by alcohol.

My turn. Who's watching KKK while you and Blobra are "searching" for me?

KKK no longer exists. I burned it down for good.

You piece of SHIIIT!!! *attempts to attack Kalin*

I WILL FUCK YOU UP! *gets into a brawl with Grimwulf*

An hour later.

Done yet? *sigh* Men.

*panting* So... you got a message from Trudy...

Huff, puff... Aye. Turns out, her community managed to build a space ship before the deer apocalypse... Hell, she didn't EVEN KNOW there was a deer apocalypse. You should have seen her face when I told her the whole story, hue hue. Anyway, that space ship crashed before reaching the orbit. They were rebuilding their society from scratch.

And so you decided to pay them a friendly visit, whithout even saying a word to your fellow komrades??

It wasn't just a visit. Hrmpf. You were... right, ok? About the whole undermanned KKK thing. We needed people desperately. We needed work force. I didn't say anything, because I never expected Trudograd to be THAT far away. Remember those fishermen traders who gave us a map? Well, that map was pure garbage!

THIS IS NO EXCUSE!

ALSO, I didn't want to show you the message! It was embarassing. Trudy was still mad at me after the centipede incident. Said that my dick is smaller than, well...

hue hue

MY DICK AIN'T SMALL! I'll show ye *drops his pants*

Seriously?

Still not Kalin-sized! *drops his pants too*

While we're doin' dick mesurment, you may ask your question, woman.

I'll pass. Need some fresh air. *goes outside*

Who is she anyway?

No idea, mate.

So... Since both of us fucked up...

Hey, I didn't leave KKK without saying a word!

Right, you burned it to the ground first, and THEN you left KKK without saying a word!

Maybe we can settle here?

You crazy? I can't imagine a less safe place to settle.

We can loot it, at least. Right?

*opens the door* I suggest you put your pants on and make it quick. We should go. Scratch that, we should RUN!

Why?

Because the helicopter is coming back.

END OF CYOA​