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GONE MOPPING: Let's play Space Quest Zero!
- Thread starter Crooked Bee
- Start date
Interesting (or not) nerdy fact : AGI is not even EGA, it is 160x200 instead of 320x200, because it was tailored for the PCJr and graphics weren't changed on the other more deserving platforms.
(And honestly, I prefer amateur games with these kind of symbolic graphics than ugly detailed ones)
(And honestly, I prefer amateur games with these kind of symbolic graphics than ugly detailed ones)
KickAss
Augur
:D Quality LP, not quality game!Quality? Who said anything about quality?
Also, bump
dextermorgan
Arcane
Crushley, Picante and Smorf? ST: Next Generation?
MMXI
Arcane
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2011
- Messages
- 2,196
M:Crooked Bee said:As far as I'm concerned, the decor could use colours incorporating the always favoured black with autumn hues.
This game doesn't seem too bad. Usually fan games are quite terrible. It's way too easy so far, but hopefully the difficulty will ramp up.
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2011
- Messages
- 2,728
Good LP thus far. Please continue CB!
Update 5: Between a fish and a talking tree
Previously on Space Quest Zero:
OH MY THE STATION IS UNDER ATTACK
EVERYBODY'S DEAD
WHAT'S UP WITH THIS GUY'S HEAD
I'LL JUST PUT THIS CHIP IN HERE
HEY SWEETIE WAIT FOR ME (said to a mysterious blue alien girl)
AAAH IT'S A VIRUS
OH NO I CAN'T BREATHE
So where did we go wrong?
Well, for starters, we shouldn't have let ourselves be pulled by the underwater current.
Instead, we should've gone after that little white box descending straight to the bottom of the lake (?). As a matter of fact, it's a survival kit, and boy do we need it.
We only have a few seconds to type GET KIT to grab it, however, before we run out of air.
Then we have another moment to open it and see what's inside.
> open kit
OH HEY A REBREATHER
> wear rebreather
O.K.
Fancy rebreather mask put on, we don't need to worry about drowning any more.
A rope! Every adventurer's favourite toy.
> examine lighter
I can only hope this lighter is waterproof.
(It is.)
(Everything is waterproof in the future. Except Roger.)
> examine fish
Nothing more for us to do on this screen, so let's move on.
GIANT UNDERWATER TESTICLES
THAT DOESN'T BODE WELL
Huh? Why's that, I wonder?
Let's just swim over there...
OH NO WHAT'S THIS
I CANNOT MOVE
Roger Wilco, now plant food.
So yeah, the thing is, we must somehow manoeuvre around that pink paralysing testicle hair.
AND BOY I TELL YOU THIS AIN'T EASY
Took me several retries before I got this right.
MORE OF THEM
Easier this time, though. More room for manoeuvre.
Freedom at last!
Our exciting underwater adventure isn't over yet, however. Now for a most unintuitive thing...
> take plant
What would we need fucking weed for?
Oh, I see now. Forget I asked.
LABION I MISSED YOU SO
Civilisation? Here?
> look
TO THE EAST
Hmm... What's that thingy on that bush over there?
> examine bush
Fruit!
> take fruit
What a delicious-looking fruit! I wonder what it tastes like...
> eat fruit
You remove the fruit from your pocket and give it a quick polish on the sleeve of your shirt.
Yummy!
Uh-oh
WHY HAS MY SKIN TURNED PINK ALL OF A SUDDEN?!
Aaaahh mommmyyyy
What a pathetic way to die.
Anyway, quite a suspicious-looking log you've got there!
What for?
Oh well why not.
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Sadly, before you can grasp it, he slinks away.
What else could be there, eh?
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Nada?
But... but... there's GOT to be more!
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Sadly, before you can grasp it, the wind blows it away.
This can't be all!!
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Sadly, before you can grasp it, he slinks away.
Oh FFS. Even a snail is faster than Roger.
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Sadly, before you can grasp it, he slinks away.
Bah! We don't need no worm anyway.
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Oooh.
Anything else?
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Yay! We're rich now!
Buckazoids are Space Quest's currency, by the way.
But hey, that tree in the middle looks somewhat suspicious...
An adventurer could always use a branch! For one thing or another, you know.
This looks like a perfect walking stick. As you tear the limb from the tree, you are startled by a nearby shriek.
Aaaah!
I AM YOUR FATHER, ROGER.
HOW DARE YOU TREAT YOUR FATHER LIKE THIS?
Er, well...
Tree diplomacy?
> talk to tree
There are two ways we can go about this situation, actually. We can return the branch to the tree and get something in return, or we can take the branch with us and get that something in another manner. We opt for the latter 'cause, really, fuck that stupid tree. Plus the latter option should bring us more points!
AND I LOVE POINTS
EVERYBODY LOVES POINTS
Oh hey a hut! I wonder who lives there.
Death count: 6 (x1 gone garbage-chuting, x1 gone flying, x1 gone into space, x1 gone swimming, x1 gone plant feeding, x1 gone berried)
Next time: get out of here, stalker!
Previously on Space Quest Zero:
OH MY THE STATION IS UNDER ATTACK
EVERYBODY'S DEAD
WHAT'S UP WITH THIS GUY'S HEAD
I'LL JUST PUT THIS CHIP IN HERE
HEY SWEETIE WAIT FOR ME (said to a mysterious blue alien girl)
AAAH IT'S A VIRUS
OH NO I CAN'T BREATHE
So where did we go wrong?
Well, for starters, we shouldn't have let ourselves be pulled by the underwater current.
Instead, we should've gone after that little white box descending straight to the bottom of the lake (?). As a matter of fact, it's a survival kit, and boy do we need it.
We only have a few seconds to type GET KIT to grab it, however, before we run out of air.
Then we have another moment to open it and see what's inside.
> open kit
OH HEY A REBREATHER
> wear rebreather
O.K.
Fancy rebreather mask put on, we don't need to worry about drowning any more.
A rope! Every adventurer's favourite toy.
> examine lighter
I can only hope this lighter is waterproof.
(It is.)
(Everything is waterproof in the future. Except Roger.)
> examine fish
Nothing more for us to do on this screen, so let's move on.
GIANT UNDERWATER TESTICLES
THAT DOESN'T BODE WELL
Huh? Why's that, I wonder?
Let's just swim over there...
OH NO WHAT'S THIS
I CANNOT MOVE
Roger Wilco, now plant food.
So yeah, the thing is, we must somehow manoeuvre around that pink paralysing testicle hair.
AND BOY I TELL YOU THIS AIN'T EASY
Took me several retries before I got this right.
MORE OF THEM
Easier this time, though. More room for manoeuvre.
Freedom at last!
Our exciting underwater adventure isn't over yet, however. Now for a most unintuitive thing...
> take plant
What would we need fucking weed for?
Oh, I see now. Forget I asked.
LABION I MISSED YOU SO
Civilisation? Here?
> look
TO THE EAST
Hmm... What's that thingy on that bush over there?
> examine bush
Fruit!
> take fruit
What a delicious-looking fruit! I wonder what it tastes like...
> eat fruit
You remove the fruit from your pocket and give it a quick polish on the sleeve of your shirt.
Yummy!
Uh-oh
WHY HAS MY SKIN TURNED PINK ALL OF A SUDDEN?!
Aaaahh mommmyyyy
What a pathetic way to die.
Anyway, quite a suspicious-looking log you've got there!
What for?
Oh well why not.
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Sadly, before you can grasp it, he slinks away.
What else could be there, eh?
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Nada?
But... but... there's GOT to be more!
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Sadly, before you can grasp it, the wind blows it away.
This can't be all!!
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Sadly, before you can grasp it, he slinks away.
Oh FFS. Even a snail is faster than Roger.
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Sadly, before you can grasp it, he slinks away.
Bah! We don't need no worm anyway.
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Oooh.
Anything else?
> examine log
You look inside the log and find...
Yay! We're rich now!
Buckazoids are Space Quest's currency, by the way.
But hey, that tree in the middle looks somewhat suspicious...
An adventurer could always use a branch! For one thing or another, you know.
This looks like a perfect walking stick. As you tear the limb from the tree, you are startled by a nearby shriek.
Aaaah!
Er, well...
Tree diplomacy?
> talk to tree
There are two ways we can go about this situation, actually. We can return the branch to the tree and get something in return, or we can take the branch with us and get that something in another manner. We opt for the latter 'cause, really, fuck that stupid tree. Plus the latter option should bring us more points!
AND I LOVE POINTS
EVERYBODY LOVES POINTS
Oh hey a hut! I wonder who lives there.
Death count: 6 (x1 gone garbage-chuting, x1 gone flying, x1 gone into space, x1 gone swimming, x1 gone plant feeding, x1 gone berried)
Next time: get out of here, stalker!
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2010
- Messages
- 10,872
This is a weird game. In many ways it seems to take the worst of AGI games; the underwater sequence reminded me of PQ2's. It certainly doesn't feel anything like SQ1.
Seems our Crooked Bee got a promotion from "Worker Bee" to "Queen Bee" and is too busy eating royal jelly to do space janitoring anymore!
(Sidenote : We French enjoy cutting royalty's heads)
(Sidenote : We French enjoy cutting royalty's heads)
YOU'RE SO MEAN!!!!1
Update 6: The feeding habits of cave bees
I HAVE A FEELING
I have a feeling that hut looks somewhat... familiar.
Oh wait I know!
It's a huge satellite dish!
A board! Good thing our protagonist is an avid board collector.
I am?
Roger, dear! But of course you are!
...Are you sure?
Oh, just shut up and trust me.
Alright, mum.
... Mum?
...
Son, you're adopted.
...
And only for the duration of this LP! So don't get any ideas.
Now be a good boy and pick up that plank, Roger.
> take board
Time to head inside the hut now.
Just what kind of ALIEN BEING could make its home inside a satellite dish?
An... old man?
> look
The room is aglow with a warm firelight. There is an unmade bed against the wall, a large table to the south, and a small chest beside the door.
A crooked old man!
> examine man
Stew? Yuck! Next he's gonna tell me it's his birthday and no one came to his party!
(I just hope this stew's secret ingredient isn't swamp mud!)
> examine bed
Eww, crumbs!
> sleep on bed
Mission? What mission?
Okay, I got it. No time to sleep! The blue alien girl awaits!
Sheesh, I'm all embarrassed now.
> examine table
Hmm, perhaps.
You also see a bottle of glue on the table.
> read papers
ALIEN PAPERS! SO EXCITING!
Cave BEES!
They sound like crooked bees alright!
One of the pages deals with folklore, describing a local primal culture.
Puzzles and dungeons! This game is an RPG, after all!
The remaining pages are indecipherable.
> take glue
Now that we have the glue, let's GLUE THE OLD MAP UP!
Er, I mean chat him up.
For. Fuck's. Sake.
> open chest
The old man won't let us open his chest while he's around, by the way.
I wonder how we could make him... depart.
> talk to man
The old man clears his throat and raises an eyebrow when he looks at you.
Swamp mud? Swamp mud!
> taste soup
What, no gruesome death?
> talk to man
The old man clears his throat and raises an eyebrow when he looks at you.
> talk to man
The old man clears his throat and raises an eyebrow when he looks at you.
Duly noted.
> talk to man
The old man clears his throat and raises an eyebrow when he looks at you.
...
Why would a Jedi Master need a walking stick?
Well, we do have that branch we cut off the tree...
Tell that to the tree, duh.
Be ours soon the chest will, yay!
Now we should just exit the hut area and re-enter it...
And the old man is gone!
> look in chest
Rummaging around in the old chest you find...
> take orium
> examine orium
Getting the orium is what we needed the tree's arm for. Alternatively, we could've given it back to the tree and it would've given us a hunk of amber in return, which serves the same purpose.
Sorry, an old man took it. Nothing I could do about it.
Oooohhh...
What was that about a totem and fruit again?
> examine totem
He looks like a total meanie.
And everybody knows total meanies like fruit.
> talk to totem
..."Roger"?
GOT SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE ALREADY, READER?
Because you should.
> give fruit to totem
You place the fruit into the totem's mouth.
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS IT
And...
Nothing.
There must be another way we could go about it.
Okay so we grab another fruit and return to the totem.
We have a devilish plan.
Heh heh heh.
> feed fruit to totem
You place the glue covered fruit into the totem's mouth.
Success?
Success! We can now enter the dungeon.
What is this, fucking Prince of Persia?
Death count: The same. But not for long.
I HAVE A FEELING
I have a feeling that hut looks somewhat... familiar.
Oh wait I know!
It's a huge satellite dish!
A board! Good thing our protagonist is an avid board collector.
Roger, dear! But of course you are!
Oh, just shut up and trust me.
... Mum?
...
Son, you're adopted.
And only for the duration of this LP! So don't get any ideas.
Now be a good boy and pick up that plank, Roger.
> take board
Time to head inside the hut now.
Just what kind of ALIEN BEING could make its home inside a satellite dish?
An... old man?
> look
The room is aglow with a warm firelight. There is an unmade bed against the wall, a large table to the south, and a small chest beside the door.
A crooked old man!> examine man
Stew? Yuck! Next he's gonna tell me it's his birthday and no one came to his party!
(I just hope this stew's secret ingredient isn't swamp mud!)
> examine bed
Eww, crumbs!
> sleep on bed
Mission? What mission?
Okay, I got it. No time to sleep! The blue alien girl awaits!
Sheesh, I'm all embarrassed now.
> examine table
Hmm, perhaps.
You also see a bottle of glue on the table.
> read papers
ALIEN PAPERS! SO EXCITING!
Cave BEES!
They sound like crooked bees alright!
One of the pages deals with folklore, describing a local primal culture.
Puzzles and dungeons! This game is an RPG, after all!
The remaining pages are indecipherable.
> take glue
Now that we have the glue, let's GLUE THE OLD MAP UP!
Er, I mean chat him up.
For. Fuck's. Sake.
> open chest
The old man won't let us open his chest while he's around, by the way.
I wonder how we could make him... depart.
> talk to man
The old man clears his throat and raises an eyebrow when he looks at you.
Swamp mud? Swamp mud!
> taste soup
What, no gruesome death?
> talk to man
The old man clears his throat and raises an eyebrow when he looks at you.
> talk to man
The old man clears his throat and raises an eyebrow when he looks at you.
Duly noted.
> talk to man
The old man clears his throat and raises an eyebrow when he looks at you.
...
Why would a Jedi Master need a walking stick?
Well, we do have that branch we cut off the tree...
Tell that to the tree, duh.
Be ours soon the chest will, yay!
Now we should just exit the hut area and re-enter it...
And the old man is gone!
> look in chest
Rummaging around in the old chest you find...
> take orium
> examine orium
Getting the orium is what we needed the tree's arm for. Alternatively, we could've given it back to the tree and it would've given us a hunk of amber in return, which serves the same purpose.
Sorry, an old man took it. Nothing I could do about it.
Oooohhh...
What was that about a totem and fruit again?
> examine totem
He looks like a total meanie.
And everybody knows total meanies like fruit.
> talk to totem
..."Roger"?
GOT SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE ALREADY, READER?
Because you should.
> give fruit to totem
You place the fruit into the totem's mouth.
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS IT
And...
Nothing.
There must be another way we could go about it.
Okay so we grab another fruit and return to the totem.
We have a devilish plan.
Heh heh heh.
> feed fruit to totem
You place the glue covered fruit into the totem's mouth.
Success?
Success! We can now enter the dungeon.
What is this, fucking Prince of Persia?
Death count: The same. But not for long.
Yay, an update, and about feeding habits of cave bees no less! 
And thus it was proved I'm a mean bastard (meaning I'm between a low bastard and a high bastard of course).
The game is quite good. But this animated statue mouth is pure evil wizardry.
The game is quite good. But this animated statue mouth is pure evil wizardry.
Edward_R_Murrow
Arcane
You had glue, and you didn't type "sniff glue"?
Decline.
Decline.
Kids these days. It's all about MDMA and crystal meth. And videogames.
Update 7: The plot thickens
So here we are, in a Prince of Persia-like dungeon inside a fruit-loving totem on a distant planet called Labion in a game proudly named Space Quest Zero.
And truth be told I don't like the look of it...
The cold stone floor is littered with small holes in the eastern section, and is divided down the middle by a deep chasm. A basin of water rests along the western wall.
Nope, sorry, I want to show off the death-from-starvation ending. Yes, that means I'll have to replay this entire section later. /masochist
Could you repeat that? Differently?
The chasm stretches into darkness. You can faintly hear the echo of water trickling down there.
So is there really water down there I wonder...
We'll find out shortly.
Welp. That didn't really work out well.
Jumping over chasm by entering a simple text command? You REALLY think that's what a chasm is there for?
No, that wouldn't have been annoying enough.
"You have to WALK THE FUCKING PLANK, YOU BASTARDS." (c) A Space Quest Zero developer who preferred to stay anonymous
Walk it carefully!
Lest you fall down, again and again!
The problem is, you can't just walk straight. Noooo, you must make it to the middle of the plank first, stop, take one step to the north (god forbid you take two steps instead!) and THEN head east again. FFS.
You retrieve the board.
We might need it later.
Funnily enough, it is perfectly possible to retrieve the plank from right under your feet.
Feel free to guess what happens next.
But what about those holes in the floor?
Ouch, that must hurt.
I know. Isn't it great.
But what if we manage to finally get to safety?
"To safety?" I hear you ask. "Shoot that bee!"
And you'd be correct in your scepticism.
Another exercise in funambulism awaits us!
> look
Handrails line some of the more dangerous spots on the path, which is made dangerously slick from the humidity and spray from the waterfalls.
> examine water
One wrong step and...
Roger, dear, is that your hand barely sticking out of the water?
Why, hello there, waterfall thingy.
Naturally, it's VERY easy to take a wrong step on this slippery path.
But what if we manage to safely get across?
Why, we reach an underground secret lab, of course! What else would you expect?
There is a swarm of cave bees here.
The cave bees are surprisingly friendly...
...for now.
Oh-kay!
What is this, the 1880s?
What about the middle door, then?
Nope, doesn't ring a bell.
MAYBE!
All the doors are secured by a passcard system, and there's no getting in at the moment.
So let's head further west.
> look
There is a passcard lying on the floor under one of the computer panels.
A passcard! Just what we need!
> examine passcard
> take passcard
> examine passcard
Now what else is there around here?
There is a flashing red button on the panel along the northeast wall.
> examine console
The main control button is plainly marked "analyze."
When in doubt, press a button!
> push button
You push the flashing red button. A recorded voice emanates from the panel:
Eww. Gross. Guess I'm not a cave bee, after all.
Poor thing.
Hey, looks like there's something on the shelf!
> take beaker
You pocket the beaker.
Gooey!
One of the canisters is broken, and its contents have spilled onto the floor.
[Intelligence] Something sinister is going on.
But what about that glass case in the middle of the room?
Aw a little slime devil.
> take devil
You'll be warm in there, little one.
I... I don't want it to implode. I wanna hug it and pet it and play with it all day long...
I WANT TO BE A SLIME DEVIL
Ahem. Yeah. Back to business.
Now that we've got the passcard, we can access Dr. Bowdler's room.
> use passcard
You insert the passcard into the slot. A short click is followed by the sound of pneumatics as the door begins to open.
IT'S OPEN
SO WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR
LET'S BRAVE IT
OH SHIT
COAT HANGERS ARE EVIL!!
True story.
So are cliff hangers.
'Til next time!
Death count: 9 (x1 gone garbage-chuting, x1 gone flying, x1 gone into space, x1 gone swimming, x1 gone plant feeding, x1 gone berried, x1 gone chasm crawling, x1 gone spike climbing, x1 gone down the drain)
So here we are, in a Prince of Persia-like dungeon inside a fruit-loving totem on a distant planet called Labion in a game proudly named Space Quest Zero.
And truth be told I don't like the look of it...
The cold stone floor is littered with small holes in the eastern section, and is divided down the middle by a deep chasm. A basin of water rests along the western wall.
RK47 said:
Nope, sorry, I want to show off the death-from-starvation ending. Yes, that means I'll have to replay this entire section later. /masochist
RK47 said:
Could you repeat that? Differently?
RK47 said:
The chasm stretches into darkness. You can faintly hear the echo of water trickling down there.
So is there really water down there I wonder...
We'll find out shortly.
Welp. That didn't really work out well.
RK47 said:
Jumping over chasm by entering a simple text command? You REALLY think that's what a chasm is there for?
No, that wouldn't have been annoying enough.
"You have to WALK THE FUCKING PLANK, YOU BASTARDS." (c) A Space Quest Zero developer who preferred to stay anonymous
Walk it carefully!
Lest you fall down, again and again!
The problem is, you can't just walk straight. Noooo, you must make it to the middle of the plank first, stop, take one step to the north (god forbid you take two steps instead!) and THEN head east again. FFS.
You retrieve the board.
We might need it later.
Funnily enough, it is perfectly possible to retrieve the plank from right under your feet.
Feel free to guess what happens next.
But what about those holes in the floor?
Ouch, that must hurt.
I know. Isn't it great.
But what if we manage to finally get to safety?
"To safety?" I hear you ask. "Shoot that bee!"
And you'd be correct in your scepticism.
Another exercise in funambulism awaits us!
> look
Handrails line some of the more dangerous spots on the path, which is made dangerously slick from the humidity and spray from the waterfalls.
> examine water
One wrong step and...
Roger, dear, is that your hand barely sticking out of the water?
Why, hello there, waterfall thingy.
Naturally, it's VERY easy to take a wrong step on this slippery path.
But what if we manage to safely get across?
Why, we reach an underground secret lab, of course! What else would you expect?
There is a swarm of cave bees here.
The cave bees are surprisingly friendly...
...for now.
Oh-kay!
What is this, the 1880s?
What about the middle door, then?
Nope, doesn't ring a bell.
MAYBE!
All the doors are secured by a passcard system, and there's no getting in at the moment.
So let's head further west.
> look
There is a passcard lying on the floor under one of the computer panels.
A passcard! Just what we need!
> examine passcard
> take passcard
> examine passcard
Now what else is there around here?
There is a flashing red button on the panel along the northeast wall.
> examine console
The main control button is plainly marked "analyze."
When in doubt, press a button!
> push button
You push the flashing red button. A recorded voice emanates from the panel:
Eww. Gross. Guess I'm not a cave bee, after all.
Poor thing.
Hey, looks like there's something on the shelf!
> take beaker
You pocket the beaker.
Gooey!
One of the canisters is broken, and its contents have spilled onto the floor.
[Intelligence] Something sinister is going on.
But what about that glass case in the middle of the room?
Aw a little slime devil.
> take devil
You'll be warm in there, little one.
I... I don't want it to implode.
I wanna hug it and pet it and play with it all day long...I WANT TO BE A SLIME DEVIL
Ahem. Yeah. Back to business.
Now that we've got the passcard, we can access Dr. Bowdler's room.
> use passcard
You insert the passcard into the slot. A short click is followed by the sound of pneumatics as the door begins to open.
IT'S OPEN
SO WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR
LET'S BRAVE IT
OH SHIT
COAT HANGERS ARE EVIL!!
True story.
So are cliff hangers.
'Til next time!
Death count: 9 (x1 gone garbage-chuting, x1 gone flying, x1 gone into space, x1 gone swimming, x1 gone plant feeding, x1 gone berried, x1 gone chasm crawling, x1 gone spike climbing, x1 gone down the drain)
dextermorgan
Arcane
Damn girl, the stamina on you...
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