Faux Gothic: Let's play ArcaniA: Fall of Setarrif! (Done!!)

[Crooked Bee]

The mines business sounded tedious, so I chose to head to the palace first.



And here I am.



A nice clear view of the next exclamation mark; too bad about the possessed getting in the way.



"Kill me"? I shall oblige.

And oblige I did.



The exclamation mark is hovering over the throne.



Eh no, I don't think the game wants me to sit down here.



Ah yes, the third stone.



Piece of cake.



Because you're possessed, silly. Let me "cure" you now.



And up the stairs I go.

In fact, the rescue-the-damsel-from-the-palace quest is easy to miss, since you can just walk out of the palace once you've got the third key stone.



The only clue you're given for the quest is that white quest marker on the mini-map. I don't think Zyra or Magor mentioned there's a princess in the palace either.



But here she is. Princess Lisha.

I'm having a look around the palace.

Who allowed you?

(Like we needed permission to enter a demonically possessed palace.)

Magor.

The mage?

Yes.

Is he in his right mind?

When I talked to him, he was, yes.



Dat smile.

And... Take care of my wardrobe chests.

...and the one back there I need right away. It's been days already since I last got re-dressed... since the servants went mad. Here in my hideout I used perfume, but I ran out of it yesterday and by now...

You can get the other chests later.

You can come along, I'll take you to Magor.

How dare you?

Dare what? Refuse to take the chests along?

That and the way you talk to me!

...that is how you talk to the daughter of Ethorn VI, the future king of Argaan.

(No wonder no one asked us to rescue this one.)

I'm listening...

Just come along.

Twenty lashes! When we are at Magor's, I'll see that you are properly punished.

Or stay here. I don't care.

All right then: Come along, your Highness, I'll take you to Magor.

It's dangerous out there. I can't take care of the luggage too.

Well, then we leave the chests here for now.

Can we leave now?

Yes, I'm ready.

And leave we do.



The princess tags along.



No taming of the shrew, then?

She is alive, unharmed and not possessed!

Unfortunately.

Yes. Can I leave her with you?

Oh, sure, sure!

And don't forget any! I need them urgently!

Sorry, but I've got other and more important things to do.

Now listen to that unmannered yokel, Magor! He refuses to fetch my chests!

...call a few servants to take care of my chests. And someone to heat water. I need a bath.

Have you got a maidservant who can bathe me?

Luckily for us, Magor ignores her completely.

Oh, wait!

What is it?

You've rendered Setarrif and all of Aargan a great service!

Here, take this! For the great service you rendered to the house of the Setarrifians it might not be enough, but maybe it'll come in handy some time.



Good.



Goddamn.



Screw you. I'm outta here.

 

[lightbane]

Are you sure she's not possessed? That smile... Actually, no, she's worse, no wonder not even the demon wanted to posses her.

I think he was trying to roll his eyes here but failed. Goddamit, it's very bad when a game like OBLIVION, fucking Oblivion for fuck's sake, has better face models than this shit.

 

[Darth Roxor]

The ultimate source of derpy faces

 

[anus_pounder]

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

DAT FIST...

GODDAMN, WHAT ARE YOU SCHEMING, YOU BASTARD?! DOES IT INVOLVE YOUR WILLY?!


This LP is getting more and more emotionally engaging with every update...

 

[spekkio]

This should be stickied and renamed to "Exemplary next-gen game. Look here if you don't know what Skyway means when he babbles about 'next gen'. You can thank us later."

 

[Brother None]

Oh man. I think the last time I lolled this much at an LP was when reading a Limbo of the Lost LP. This stuff is amazing. Those derpy faces. So wonderful.

 

[CappenVarra]

the faces... the faces

 

[random_encounter]

She is alive, unharmed and not possessed!

Oh ho! Ye olde "spoiled princess" cliche!

At least she didn't get in the way of combat, not that there was anything left to fight on the way back I assume. And I actually read this as "alive, untamed and not possessed". Too bad there wasn't an option to stuff her into a wardrobe closet and just leave.

Keep it up, Bee! Great LP.

 

[Storyfag]

the feces... the feces

Fixed

 

[Angthoron]

This is quite awesome. Man, what is wrong with their face?

 

[Erebus]

The retarded faces are pretty hilarious, but aside from that, there seems to be something really wrong with the lighting :

 

[Wyrmlord]

Here is the dumbest dialogue in the game:

"I am sure she will trust you."

"{laughs} We will see about that."

Oh wow, a hero doubts his own trustworthiness and is proud of his used car salesmanlike credentials. Hunh?

 

[Twinkle]

The most emotionally engaging facial animations evar. Bioware, suck it down.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Making my way to the Setarrif mines, I spotted an exclamation mark.



That was Lester, the tattooed one.

Do you bring reinforcements?

Reinforcements? No, why?

Karella is stuck in the mine. We will need more men to get her out of there.

Is she besieged by Thorus' Orcs?



Lester smiled mischievously.



Orc diplomacy?

Suddenly my vision blurred and...

...

...



Goddammit. Not this again.

Ah, you can speak! That makes it all a lot easier.



Go for the dumber option, Boo!

Will you let me enter the mine? I urgently need to dig for some ore.

I know you, Morra...

And if I ask you politely, my friend?

Shut up!

All right then - two puffs.



So much for orc diplomacy.



Eh, piece o' cake.



Thankfully, Lester is a p. agile guy.



And here I am inside the mine.



But of course! Come here, you insectoid filler!



The wonders of hand-holding.



Cleve? Is that you?

You defeated the great Gach-Lug!

You are slaves, aren't you? The possession of Setarrif?

Yes, Mor-Grash. Slaves. But noble mistress promised...

Is Karella with you? Is she all right?

But?

...great Orcs come. Kill people! Kill slaves! Mistress locks herself up. Slaves hide. Then... Then...

Better take a deep breath, my friend.

Then great shaman get angry. Stones fall, everything collapses.

So we dig, for many shifts. But Gach-Lug come. Many Gach-Lug. Angry too. Much much more angry.

The Minecrawlers are a problem. But you will have to dig again, my friend. I guess there is no other way to get to Karella.

[Neanderthal diplomacy: Success]

You are friend of noble mistress, yes? Friend of a king?

Yes, I'm a friend. But King Rhobar sent me.

[Neanderthal diplomacy: Failure]

Don't be afraid! We...

Too late, honey.



A piss easy fight later...

...

Nobody will be killed here! Rhobar and Karella are allies now. The true enemy is the demon!

All right, then clear the debris away and fetch me something I can use to climb out of the mine again. I'll fetch some reinforcements.

Gormak obeys!

....

...

And we're back! Thankfully.

Weren't you going to negotiate with the Orcs?

Oh, you got me wrong, my friend.

'Diplomacy' fits in better with a royal court. Don't you think so?

What? Never mind...

Never mind indeed. Lots of stupid underground crawling awaits...

 

[Kashmir Slippers]

Does the PCs face ever move?

In almost all of the pictures you take of his dialogue, he has the same glazed over eyes and eat shit grin.

 

[1451]

At least they haven't changed Lester's appearance. It's nice to see familiar faces.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Does the PCs face ever move?

Barely. His face only seems to have two expressions: the smug neutral one and the retarded smug grinning one. I prefer to post the latter.

 

[~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-AIN'T]

This is the most entertaining LP I've read in a long time

 

[lightbane]

Ok, the orcs were pretty stupid back in the original game, but you could actually solve their issues in a non-violent way, it seems that was something too complex for the consoletard crowd...

 

[Crooked Bee]

Yes, they overran the mine. There's something wrong with them...

(What's wrong, Minecrawlers? )

The Minecrawler I fought against was not a normal Minecrawler.

That'll take too long.



(Oh the joy.)

I'll enter the mine on my own for now. Just join me later with all the men you can gather.

All right, my friend. It wouldn't be the first time you stood your ground against a superior force alone.

Perhaps he has an idea how you can get to Karella. I ordered him to clear the lower cave.



And into the mines I go.

Les'Ta?

The friendly guy with the tattoos on his face.

Yes! Very friendly! Gormak keeps head. Gormak obeys!

What can you tell me about the mine?

Let's try it differently: Do you know how I can get to Karella?

Perhaps through door, but it's harder than stone... Perhaps through tunnel. We dig, but Gach-Lug come... Perhaps we dig new tunnel next to door, but here stone is very hard. Perhaps Gach-Lug dig to noble mistress. But then noble mistress is dead...

The mine is open. Why don't you escape?

Without noble mistress? Humans hunt us. We get punishment.

Can you help me in any other way?

We hide in storage cave. Ground there too hard for Gach-Lug. Much much stuff there. You go to storage and take what you need.

Take what I need? With pleasure.



The storage chests don't really contain anything interesting, though.

And deeper into the mines I go.



A welcome party of small spider-y creatures greet me at the entrance to the caves. I welcome them back.



The caves are long and tedious, and I have to fight hordes of possessed Minecrawlers along the way. Their favourite trick is burrowing into the ground and then appearing right next to you. They're relatively slow, though, and don't pose much of a threat.



Plenty of opportunity for LARPing here, what with all the deposits around that I can mine. Coal, gold, magic ore, you name it.



Hell yeah, Imma miner!



Not pictured: most of the lengthy boring crawl through the caves.



'Shrooms! The developers' Muses, no doubt.



The fuck are those things on the walls?



The Hivemind! A.k.a. a huge lump of poop.



The queen keeps on summoning unending packs of crawlers huge and small to her aid. I try fighting them all at first, and then it hits me I should just slay the queen and her henchmen will most likely stop arriving.



And voilà, the queen is dead, and the pile of poop deflates.



Ewww. Gruesome.



Oooh, a princess tied up.



Angry one.

Who are you? Did Lee send you?

Yes, I'm a messenger from Rhobar III.

Have you got the Stone of Wisdom on you?

Yes, here it is.

Thank you. We better go, before some Minecrawlers show up. It is a miracle you are still alive.

Why were Thorus' Orcs after you?

Because I publically stated that Thorus is responsible for what is happening here. I can't prove it, but I'm quite sure...

Him and the Orc shaman he had with him.

What makes you so sure there?

...my father retired to his rooms together with Thorus and the Orc. Nobody was allowed to disturb them...

Are you sure you know your father's... tastes well enough?

...not even me, his own daughter.

Where is your father now?

I don't know, but I'm afraid...



Ugh. Just thinking of the tedium that awaits me at the endgame gives me a headache.



All right, I have all the four key stones now. Time to go back to Milten.

Noble mistress is alive! You save mistress! You save freedom!



Eh, alright, whatever.



Freedom! Finally.

 

[Darth Roxor]

 

[laclongquan]

The question is just cant be contained any more.

Can you play a female in this game? Is there a nude/seminude mod?

Cause hours after hours looking upon a steel figure or some hairy male ass is not what I call quality gaming.

 

[Erebus]

I remember playing some CRPGs that allowed you to mine for gems, but it's the first time I see one that allows you to mine for coal.

 

[lightbane]

Steambot Chronicles allowed you to do it (well, sort of). It was an awesome game that no-one knows (and a true rpg to boot, tons of meaningful choices and consequences plus several endings). Too bad that the sequel was PS3 exclusive AND was cancelled.