GarfunkeL
Racism Expert
Why does she look so familiar?
In any case, good show so far, keep it up!
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Captain Neckbeard in "Sid Meiers Pirates!" (Ended)
- Thread starter WetWorks
- Start date
Why does she look so familiar?
In any case, good show so far, keep it up!
The rape commences and few men, women, children, animals and books are left undefiled.
The pillage is slim yielding only 400 gold, but since we have superiority in numbers we install a dutch governor to incur favor with the potheads,
and are instantly promoted to colonel and given some land where we in time can exploit the locals.
This governor has a daughter too:
So, my dad says i have to dance with you.
Just one question. Will you have sex with me? Please? I'm not entirely raped out yet.
Uhh, no. You are far to mundane looking for me. I need a man that befits my stature as the prettiest girl
in Eleuthra.
Must be skank city.
We go through the motions of dancing with the dutch dimwit, and manage to awe her with some serious jitterbugging.
As a result of our despicable acts against the inbred british hicks, the english bounty on Neckbeard is now 7000.
We are far from done with those bloody teaguzzling weaklings.
YAR!!! STAB AN' CORNHOLE DA ENGLISH!!!
Hey, my granddad was english!
The bloodthirsty bastards continue along the isles, snagging another english merchant on the way.
Soon the small port of Nassau is in sight, and the crew smirks with anticipation.
Same procedure as last time men, stab them all!
This is gonna be a walk in the park...
Nassaus captain of the guard stands in the way of taking this port.
So you are the infamous rogue, Neckbeard? I must say i'm dissapointed.
Aha, why so?
I pictured someone more regal. You give of the apperance of a common footpad.
Hey! I...what's a a footpad?
Figures. One cannot underestimate the skullduggery of the plebs. Very well, good thug.
Let us settle once and for all who is worthy of this port. The noblemen in direct ancestry to the tudors,
or some rustic highwayman just in from the thames. Winner takes the spoils, and the loser swear to never return.
Sure, snooty. Ill teach ya a lessin in edumacation!
On our honor then! En garde!
The fighting commences...
Ouch! That hurt!
Stand up and fight, you coward!
*stab*
Hey! Stop that! That thing is goddamn sharp!
Hah! You are nothing but a stain on a squires commode. Once again the common man is no match for the royal bloodlines.
*more stabbing*
Auw! Thats it!
I'm outta here, no fair.
Do not defile us with your presence again, you hear?
Back on the ship:
Yaar Captain! Ye spread yer wings an' flew the coup?
Well, i kinda stubbed my toe as as i got out of bed yesterday. Ill do better next time, i swear it.
The manboon fails, as i had predicted before i even met him. It is obvious that the captain has none of the superhuman
qualities i possess in abundance. I don't usually embellish my own prowess, but i'd say i am the ONLY choice for captain on this hunk of wood.
Listen, Mr. Neandertal. What exactly have you done since you got here? What about those projects you would be working on?
Howcome none of us have seen anything of it?
I am working on something revolutionary as we speak. When i'm done seafaring will never be the same again. It will be like
being transported to some advanced civilization for your little sapiens mind.
When do we get to see this magnificent invention of yours?
I just need to run through a few more things, to make sure it is perfect. See, that is the difference between
neandertal and sapiens technology. While the sapiens is busy scratching his tufts of greasy hair over the functions
of an apple, we neandertals will have perfected the theory of gravity and managed to breed five new strains of delicious apples.
Yar! No good captain! We demand Cleve as Cap...
Hold it, scallywags! Look, give me one more chance! We sail back into town and attack them again. This time
i will get that bastard captain. Besides you all want to rape some more people/animals/objects right?
Now whos the captain who has always backed up your right to rape the prisoners?
*Grumbling*
Thats right! Me, Captain Rapebeard! Your pro-rape candidate! Whaddaya say, folks? Give me one more shot?
Captain Neckbeards appeal for the right to rape, is a success, the ship turns back, and once again Captain Neckbeard
face off against his enemy.
How dare you sir! You gave me your word of honor that you would not return!
About that. The thing is that we common riff raff have no honor. Otherwise we probably wouldn't be riff raff.
You gastric bypass! Prepare for another trouncing at mine hands!
Several stabbings later, and Neckbeard discovers another depot of gunpowder.
HA! Again! Prepare for liftoff you boarding school twit!
*KAAAA-BLOOOOWIE*
Neckbeard installs a new dutch governor, and is now promoted to admiral.
This is another governor who also seems to have a single daughter, probably because every eligable bachelor is tied up in one of the
dutchs many wars or likes seamen on their poop deck.
Another dance follows with a broad that for some reason has a hitler mustache.
As a result of our tolerance of female nazi bearding, she gives us a poofy... i mean puffy shirt, which makes Neckbeard stab people quicker.
Thanks Adolphine! See you at the next rally.
Visting the tavern we discover the french traitor hiding and instantly challenge him to a duel.
Here Neckbeard is sporting his new poo... puffy shirt.
The traitor get the shit kicked out of him and Neckbeard insists on the bounty of 5000 gold, instead of taking bribes, in the hopes of getting some
gold to appease the mutinous crew.
Look men! I did it! I beat him, and i also brought back a helluva lotta gold. I'm still captain right?
*grumbles*
I'll take that as a yes.
NOOOOO!
Shut the fuck up liberal!
Next stop on our tour of the british isles is another minnow port: Grand bahamas.
You guys should really lock down your ammo depots. This is getting kinda ridiculous!!
After the debris of the garrison has been cleared, we install a french governor who promotes Neckbeard to colonel.
Neckbeard responds with his usual shit eating grin.
We also thank him by not accepting an invitation to the ball.
Sorry lady. You look totally frigid so i am not even gonna bother with you.
Since we are in the neighbourhood the Revenge set course for french port of Florida keys, where we once again attempt to blend in
amongst the rich and beautiful.
Did i ever tell about that time i found a boil on my left testicle?
Actually lefty is a lot better at telling jokes than me. Shake it testes!
"That boil was so full of white goo, that when it popped i was so drenched i thought i had turned into
an egg. Haha, i kill myself sometimes."
So, you wanna make out?
In the end the governors daughter pays us with a fine leather vest to get rid of us.
Leather vest and poofy shirt. All we need now is a motorcycle cap and we are ready for a "gentlemans" night out.
The visit to the tavern turns out to be the most interesting though: Here we meet up with and old codger who has information
on our long lost sister.
All i ask is a thousand gold for this information.
A THOUSAND GOLD! ARE YOU BLITZED IN THE POTATO??? Do you know how many english kidneys i have to puncture
to make that kind of money???
No?
Well me neither, but it's probably a lot! A THOUSAND??? Why you..."
Calm down sonny. I'm just doing you a favor. A thousand is not a lot for clues to your beloved sister.
Hold your horses, gramps. I might love her, but a thousand? Im not sure i love her that much.
Come to think of it, she used to laugh at me all the time. Oh, and she practiced her make up on me,
and fed my GI Joes to our golden retriever. And there was that time she stuffed freshly sharpened pencils
up my bum.
I can see why you entered piracy, sir.
Yeah, lousy childhood traumas.
Look you might not like your sister, but im sure theres money in it. The guy who knows about her has a pretty
big ship. Might be worth some gold.
You don't even know anything about her yourself? You know something about some guy who knows something about her!!!
And you want me - to pay you - a 1000 gold for this knowing about someone who might know something? You are really pushing it, you old bastard.
Listen, take it or leave it! But think about it, don't you wanna get even with your sister?
Hmmm, you have a point sir, i'll buy your information!
The wrinkly old blowhard silently and stealthily palms us a piece of paper:
The guy is in fucking Puerto Bello??? This is goddamn useless!!! Do you know where we are??? We are on the other
side of the god damn carribean, you pretentious bastard! I might as well have dumped a 1000 gold into the ocean!
Thanks for nothing!
Sounds like someone missed their afternoon nap.
Will Cleve evade the machetewiedling mongroids?
Is Lefty a real person?
How many sharpened pencils can you shove up someones rectum?
The pillage is slim yielding only 400 gold, but since we have superiority in numbers we install a dutch governor to incur favor with the potheads,
and are instantly promoted to colonel and given some land where we in time can exploit the locals.
This governor has a daughter too:
in Eleuthra.
We go through the motions of dancing with the dutch dimwit, and manage to awe her with some serious jitterbugging.
As a result of our despicable acts against the inbred british hicks, the english bounty on Neckbeard is now 7000.
The bloodthirsty bastards continue along the isles, snagging another english merchant on the way.
Soon the small port of Nassau is in sight, and the crew smirks with anticipation.
Nassaus captain of the guard stands in the way of taking this port.
Let us settle once and for all who is worthy of this port. The noblemen in direct ancestry to the tudors,
or some rustic highwayman just in from the thames. Winner takes the spoils, and the loser swear to never return.
The fighting commences...
*stab*
*more stabbing*
I'm outta here, no fair.
Back on the ship:
qualities i possess in abundance. I don't usually embellish my own prowess, but i'd say i am the ONLY choice for captain on this hunk of wood.
Howcome none of us have seen anything of it?
being transported to some advanced civilization for your little sapiens mind.
neandertal and sapiens technology. While the sapiens is busy scratching his tufts of greasy hair over the functions
of an apple, we neandertals will have perfected the theory of gravity and managed to breed five new strains of delicious apples.
i will get that bastard captain. Besides you all want to rape some more people/animals/objects right?
Now whos the captain who has always backed up your right to rape the prisoners?
Captain Neckbeards appeal for the right to rape, is a success, the ship turns back, and once again Captain Neckbeard
face off against his enemy.
Several stabbings later, and Neckbeard discovers another depot of gunpowder.
*KAAAA-BLOOOOWIE*
Neckbeard installs a new dutch governor, and is now promoted to admiral.
This is another governor who also seems to have a single daughter, probably because every eligable bachelor is tied up in one of the
dutchs many wars or likes seamen on their poop deck.
Another dance follows with a broad that for some reason has a hitler mustache.
As a result of our tolerance of female nazi bearding, she gives us a poofy... i mean puffy shirt, which makes Neckbeard stab people quicker.
Visting the tavern we discover the french traitor hiding and instantly challenge him to a duel.
Here Neckbeard is sporting his new poo... puffy shirt.
The traitor get the shit kicked out of him and Neckbeard insists on the bounty of 5000 gold, instead of taking bribes, in the hopes of getting some
gold to appease the mutinous crew.
Next stop on our tour of the british isles is another minnow port: Grand bahamas.
After the debris of the garrison has been cleared, we install a french governor who promotes Neckbeard to colonel.
Neckbeard responds with his usual shit eating grin.
We also thank him by not accepting an invitation to the ball.
Since we are in the neighbourhood the Revenge set course for french port of Florida keys, where we once again attempt to blend in
amongst the rich and beautiful.
an egg. Haha, i kill myself sometimes."
In the end the governors daughter pays us with a fine leather vest to get rid of us.
Leather vest and poofy shirt. All we need now is a motorcycle cap and we are ready for a "gentlemans" night out.
The visit to the tavern turns out to be the most interesting though: Here we meet up with and old codger who has information
on our long lost sister.
to make that kind of money???
Come to think of it, she used to laugh at me all the time. Oh, and she practiced her make up on me,
and fed my GI Joes to our golden retriever. And there was that time she stuffed freshly sharpened pencils
up my bum.
big ship. Might be worth some gold.
And you want me - to pay you - a 1000 gold for this knowing about someone who might know something? You are really pushing it, you old bastard.
The wrinkly old blowhard silently and stealthily palms us a piece of paper:
side of the god damn carribean, you pretentious bastard! I might as well have dumped a 1000 gold into the ocean!
Thanks for nothing!
Will Cleve evade the machetewiedling mongroids?
Is Lefty a real person?
How many sharpened pencils can you shove up someones rectum?
I like the Disney-esque presentation of the game. There's hardly any violence and the sort, yet the tunes and whimsical nature fits perfectly. Sid's finest work IMO. I wish there's more game like this...with a pirate lair you can claim as a base like the other NPC pirates in the game where you can hoard treasures and train troops.
GarfunkeL said:
Why does she look so familiar?
Cant remember how i got that pic or who it is.
GarfunkeL
Racism Expert
Now it's going to keep me awake at night, damn you!
Also, Lefty for captain!
Also, Lefty for captain!
Admiral jimbob
gay as all hell
My abiding memory of this game is of chasing Raymondo and Montelban all around the fucking Caribbean because the end screen if I didn't save my entire family made me feel guilty.
Fucking Meier.
Really addictive game, though, played it through every year for a while.
Fucking Meier.
Really addictive game, though, played it through every year for a while.
GarfunkeL said:
or
Vaarna_Aarne
Notorious Internet Vandal
No one can stop the superhuman prowess of Cleve!
Lefty for captain, unless Neckbeard can find better quality hoes in a contest between the two!
Roll anal circumference.
Lefty for captain, unless Neckbeard can find better quality hoes in a contest between the two!
Roll anal circumference.
Hellraiser
Arcane
If you ask me they should just tie Baron Raymondo to a chair and keep him locked in the lower decks. Or have him keelhauled and hopefully raped by rabid Caribbean multiheaded dicks until he tell you where the fuck is your entire goddamn family.
Also you could rename your flagship to something more proper like The Grim Testicle or The Tasteful Rape.
Also you could rename your flagship to something more proper like The Grim Testicle or The Tasteful Rape.
Esquilax
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2010
- Messages
- 4,833
Vaarna_Aarne said:
The only thing that can stop the power of a superhuman ubermenschen is a BRO. I learned this from Star Trek. When Khan was ready to take over the Enterprise, only Captain Kirk's broness could stop him. Likewise, I fear that the only man that might defeat Cleve is either Lefty or BLOBERT.
Vaarna_Aarne
Notorious Internet Vandal
Lefty doesn't stand a chance against Cleve. The only being who can challenge his neanderthal divinity is BLOBERT.
Carlos' Bitch1
Arcane
Besides graphics, what does this version of Pirates! have that the older versions lack? And vice versa?
Blackadder said:
Dancing minigame? My memory's hazy with the original pirates, but there's a sneaking minigame if you get captured, and turn-based land battles that are simple yet satisfying. It's missing a dice and poker game tho'
Luzur
Good Sir
also missing a sex minigame.
Trash
Pointing and laughing.
This version misses the silver train and possibly the treasure fleet from the original. It does have some extra minigames like the dancing and sneaking and the turn based land battles are a lot better.
Personally I loved the amiga version best because it just played great and had such awesome graphics and art direction. This one is a bit too cartoony for me, though I'm really enjoying the LP.
Personally I loved the amiga version best because it just played great and had such awesome graphics and art direction. This one is a bit too cartoony for me, though I'm really enjoying the LP.
Zomg
Arbiter
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2005
- Messages
- 6,984
The treasure fleet is implemented I think but it's in particular treasure ships instead of an abstract thing with one giant haul for looting it.
The sailing is basically identical.
The sea combat game is basically identical.
The fencing game is different but approximately as stupid.
The overland tactics game is different but approximately as shitty.
The map piece game is about as shitty as it was. Confusing landmark stuff is added.
The dancing game is added, it's kinda like a rhythm game.
The sneaking game is added, it's terrible.
No silver train.
You have to capture the map piece guy about a million times just as before.
There are lots of little loot objects in 2004 Pirates! that you gather, like a breastplate or dancing shoes, or cotton sails for your ship, that you generally buy or that come from and impact the minigames.
The sailing is basically identical.
The sea combat game is basically identical.
The fencing game is different but approximately as stupid.
The overland tactics game is different but approximately as shitty.
The map piece game is about as shitty as it was. Confusing landmark stuff is added.
The dancing game is added, it's kinda like a rhythm game.
The sneaking game is added, it's terrible.
No silver train.
You have to capture the map piece guy about a million times just as before.
There are lots of little loot objects in 2004 Pirates! that you gather, like a breastplate or dancing shoes, or cotton sails for your ship, that you generally buy or that come from and impact the minigames.
Drakron
Arcane
- Joined
- May 19, 2005
- Messages
- 6,326
Zomg said:
Well from what I recall, yes because I certainly recall capturing Treasure Ships off Cuba.
In fact I decided to check and those ships are called "Treasure Galleon", they are slow and turn like a pregnant Yak but have a lot of cannons (40) and a lot of crew (200).
Part 5: Everybody loves Baron Raymondo
Before embarking for the south and Baron Raymondo, whom we will do a halfhearted attempt at getting,we upgrade the revenge with triple hammocks.
Good news crew! Now more of you will be able to pass wind on the mate below you.
Pretty good eh, Cleve?
No doubt a milestone in the history of sapiens ingenuity. Now, let's see if you can master the mystery
of the untied shoelace.
All friendly banter aside...
Friendly?
I need some advice. Do you know anything about women?
Do *I* know anything about women? You are looking at a succesfully married neandertal with two superhuman, titaniumboned children.
You are married? With kids? Where the hell are they?
Holed up somewhere safe, where no raving post-apocalyptic gangs can get to them.
Oh, i see. Well about women, there's this governors daughter... and no, its not the one with the glass eye...it's the
dutch godess of Curacao, shes really hot.
Yes Captain, she's a pretty girl. Id like to stick my... what exactly do you do with women?
Well, manboon i might be able to help you. It so happens i'm an expert at handling and understanding the feeble minds of women.
Great! Lay your mighty wisdom on me, good sir Cleve.
This was way back in my youth. I was operating a fried chickenbrian stand in Barcelona together with this girl.
She was quite pretty but obviously beneath me in mental capabilities, as she was a vapid sort who liked to gossip about the courts and whatnot.
Then one fine day, Roy Scheider of the spanish court, comes in and orders a fried turkeybeak with a twist of lemon, and says to me:
"You know kid, you are not half bad looking. Lots of people in the royal spanish court are not as handsome as you. Why dont you get in touch with my agent."
Now, i never really wanted to get in with the whole king business. I mean, a king of sapiens is just a king of a few bawling apes fighting
over a broken twig. But that girl noticed it and she started flirting with yours truly.
As i was young and hadn't fully realized the grandiosity of my being, i was still susceptible to the pathetic mating rituals of the mongoloids.
So, i was somewhat flattered by this, and she ended up seducing me with her vile charms.
Afterwards she just simply ignored me. I must admit i felt a bit used and suspicious of her motives, and i had everything confirmed
when one of her girlfriends told me that she had made a bet, whether or not she could "hitch a ride on the titanium bone".
That's when i started to feel dirty and for some reason my body started to shut down.
First my jaws locked up, then my arms and finally my whole magnificent body entered a catatonic state, and i just lay there in a panic stricken,
catatonic hibernation.
The end.
The end??? What the fuck was that? How is this pathetic story gonna help me ram my oar up the flying dutchman?
Women are cruel.
That's it?
Yes, women are cruel. Dont waste your time or your seed on them.
In fact, it would be better for all of us if you didn't pollute this globe with any of your seed.
Thanks Cleve, you've been most helpful. Now excuse me while i go share your story with the rest of the crew.
The plan is to go south, back to the south american coast, to visit the Curacau (and that piece of dutch tail), invade some spanish cities and
dig up L'ollonais treasure. Oh, and to chase down that Raymondo guy if he gets in the way.
Long ways to go though, so the crew plays some "poke the fundamentalist" on their way there, much to Andhaira and Liberals muffled cries.
After snagging some spaniards and their hard earned cash, we find ourselves in the middle of the ocean.
I made Polyvectored Tacos. Come get him.
We snag another few vessels and end up in a fight with a captain:
Aaargh! What the hell did you do to me! Look at my leeeeegs!!!
Finally we enter the coastline, and battle som fierce winds which slows our eastbound journey.
Captain! Ship ahoy!
Another spanish merchantman? I don't know, i feel kind of pirated out for the momement. Let them...
It's that fella Raymondo! You know the guy who that guy said he knew knew something!
What? Oh yeah...right. We'll i guess its showtime then. Lets show this guy how...
I dont know, sir. Hes got a pretty big ship, lots of crew and cannons.
Hah! Captain Neckbeard is afraid of no man. I have not lost a battle yet, and i am not about to chicken out now!
Actually you did loose to that captain of the guard in Nassau.
Okay that one time, but this is completely different!
We also almost got blown to bits by that spanish treasure galleon back in chapter 1.
Completely different scenario. Dont take things out of context.
Actually this is exactly the same situa...
TO BATTLE MEN! FIRE THE CANNONS!
And so, with steely determination and knowledge of his own superiority, Neckbeard and the Revenge descends into battle with
the vile Baron Raymondo.
The old lookout was not wrong when he said the had lots of cannons.
That bronze thing Cleve installed has made the ship much more maneauverable, and the revenge is able to dodge most of the devestating
cannon fire. It is a cat and mouse game, with the intent of getting up close and personal.
Finally Neckbeard is face to face with raymondo:
So, dude, you seen my sister?
Just who the hell are you, and why exactly are you shooting at my boat and gutting my crewmen?
Im the mighty pirate Captain Neckbeard. Deliver my sister or die!
Hmmm, you do kind of look like someone i know. Does your sister have an inward going nipple?
Yeah, but... how did you know?
Well, lets just say that me and your sister have been pretty close. Actually your sister "know" a lot of my crew.
What the hell is that supposed to mean? Your cheap tricks wont work on me!
You kinda look a lot like your sister. It almost feels as if i have done you.
Ok, thats fucking gross man! Stop messing with me!
Hey captain, why does that ugly pirate look so familiar?
Oh, hey Bob, that's felching friedas brother.
Dude, helluva sister you got, i tell ya! A champ at poppin me mole, har har har!
*Slice*
Noone talks about felching f.. i mean my sister that way!
Bob!!! Talk to me Bob!!!
You slack jawed fluffer, you didnt have to do that to Bob. He was only two days away from retirement!
Now you are in a world of hurt.
Bring da pain, knuckles!
Neckbeard engages in some sharp negotiation.
Look, i might help with finding Fisting Frieda, if you let me go.
I already told you: dont talk about my sister that way!
Okay you sister, who-is-not-at-all-obsessed-with-her-own-poop-chute-and-doesn't-like-to-be-nasally-penetrated, is stashed
away somewhere. I dont really know where, all i got is this part of map.
Why the hell do you only have part of a map?
The rest was in an old jacket that got sold at a fleamarket.
Oh man, i've been there! I once lost my carkeys that way.
Anyway, i guess ill take that map. Its better than nothing i suppose.
Now, im gonna let you go, but you have to promise to never come back to the carribean again. Agree?
Yes, good sir. I promise on my mothers grave. Thank you noble sir.
And off he goes, one of gods own true originals. Thats the last of him we will see in this LP.
Meanwhile we snag all of his goodies.
Right after our succesful plunder the revenge enters a tiny settlement, to sell of our ships.
In the local wateringhole we encounter another old codger who has information about someone who might have information on our long lost sisterslut:
That sumabitch! I'm gonna kill him and stuff Liberal down his wiggling corpse!
Neckbeards rages a while, but then spots some black booty.
So baby, you black on da inside too? 
Sorry, i already have a boyfriend.
You might have a BOYfriend, but you need a MANfriend, baby!
My boyfriend is pretty big, just so you know.
Speaking of big things, wanna see my powerdrill?
Yo cracker! Whadda hell you talkin' to ma honey for?
Whoa, you really are a big fella aren't you? Well, you know what they say, the larger they are, the smaller the penis.
What do you say there biggie smalls? Am i right or am i right?
And here we will leave Neckbeard for this time. Don't worry, i'm sure he'll be fine.
Neckbeard will be back in "Deckswabs only suck thrice" next week!
Before embarking for the south and Baron Raymondo, whom we will do a halfhearted attempt at getting,we upgrade the revenge with triple hammocks.
Pretty good eh, Cleve?
of the untied shoelace.
dutch godess of Curacao, shes really hot.
She was quite pretty but obviously beneath me in mental capabilities, as she was a vapid sort who liked to gossip about the courts and whatnot.
"You know kid, you are not half bad looking. Lots of people in the royal spanish court are not as handsome as you. Why dont you get in touch with my agent."
over a broken twig. But that girl noticed it and she started flirting with yours truly.
So, i was somewhat flattered by this, and she ended up seducing me with her vile charms.
when one of her girlfriends told me that she had made a bet, whether or not she could "hitch a ride on the titanium bone".
First my jaws locked up, then my arms and finally my whole magnificent body entered a catatonic state, and i just lay there in a panic stricken,
catatonic hibernation.
In fact, it would be better for all of us if you didn't pollute this globe with any of your seed.
The plan is to go south, back to the south american coast, to visit the Curacau (and that piece of dutch tail), invade some spanish cities and
dig up L'ollonais treasure. Oh, and to chase down that Raymondo guy if he gets in the way.
Long ways to go though, so the crew plays some "poke the fundamentalist" on their way there, much to Andhaira and Liberals muffled cries.
After snagging some spaniards and their hard earned cash, we find ourselves in the middle of the ocean.
We snag another few vessels and end up in a fight with a captain:
Finally we enter the coastline, and battle som fierce winds which slows our eastbound journey.
And so, with steely determination and knowledge of his own superiority, Neckbeard and the Revenge descends into battle with
the vile Baron Raymondo.
The old lookout was not wrong when he said the had lots of cannons.
That bronze thing Cleve installed has made the ship much more maneauverable, and the revenge is able to dodge most of the devestating
cannon fire. It is a cat and mouse game, with the intent of getting up close and personal.
Finally Neckbeard is face to face with raymondo:
*Slice*
Now you are in a world of hurt.
Neckbeard engages in some sharp negotiation.
away somewhere. I dont really know where, all i got is this part of map.
Now, im gonna let you go, but you have to promise to never come back to the carribean again. Agree?
And off he goes, one of gods own true originals. Thats the last of him we will see in this LP.
Meanwhile we snag all of his goodies.
Right after our succesful plunder the revenge enters a tiny settlement, to sell of our ships.
In the local wateringhole we encounter another old codger who has information about someone who might have information on our long lost sisterslut:
Neckbeards rages a while, but then spots some black booty.
What do you say there biggie smalls? Am i right or am i right?
And here we will leave Neckbeard for this time. Don't worry, i'm sure he'll be fine.
Neckbeard will be back in "Deckswabs only suck thrice" next week!
Trash
Pointing and laughing.
Amen to that. I'm laughing my arse off over here.
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