Welcome to our show. We have been following this extraordinary community for two years. Today, we bring you their story. These are the real tales of Butthurt Valley.
We begin on the outskirts of this community. The local (and only) church is maintained by the HHR family. Although at first glance it seems to be an idyllic place, there is trouble brewing.
Ugh, Daily Librul, damn that newspaper. Why does my wife keep subscribing to it? When will she learn?
If you look carefully you can see the distinguished priest HHR behind the bushes. He's a well respected member of the community who many consider to be the moral authority.
All the advertisements are for wheat products. It's POISON of MIND and BODY!
Librullibrullubrul... I wonder how old is she... brulibrul...
Oh god, all this non-sense is giving me a headache. I should contact my West-Coast Discussion Society pals for a general discussion about the liberal menace. Some constructive arguments never hurt.
Oh boy, HHR sure is a character. To his right we have his lovely wife and their firstborn.
They spend every day together, mostly taking care of the church.
Lately the attendance has been very low so the HHR family has had a lot of free time. Sadly, this has lead to grave consequences.
The family lives in the small attic of the church. While Mary takes care of Thomas, HHR maintains good spirits visiting internet forums and by buying the newest gadgets.
Err, I better hide the memory card.
Not all is well with HHR. Although his high moral standard has given him ability to talk with higher powers, he still can't find answers to some of his questions.
Oh have mercy on me Lord. I've been trying to stay pure for you but last few months have been difficult. Thomas is a blessing, of course, but Mary, you see... er... has changed. She seems to be more and more influenced by the liberal wheatist propoganda and... she doesn't want to consume our love anymore.
I put the "stud" in bible study. *wink*
I believe one of my ribs belongs to you. *wink wink*
Do you need prayer? because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you.
Eeh, sorry, I don't feel to well today.
...
So, there's that. Well, you don't seem to be talkative, again.
Will HHR and his wife rekindle their holy love? Or will HHR give into sin? Find out next time, on Butthurt Valley!
That...curve..trans fats...brulibl...Lord give me strength!