Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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In Progress Butthurt Valley - Sims 3 Saga

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Hoaxmetal, May 10, 2014.

  1. Hoaxmetalgender: ⚧ Arcane

    Hoaxmetal
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    Last edited: Oct 2, 2014
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  2. Hoaxmetalgender: ⚧ Arcane

    Hoaxmetal
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    Show Spoiler

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    Welcome to our show. We have been following this extraordinary community for two years. Today, we bring you their story. These are the real tales of Butthurt Valley.

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    We begin on the outskirts of this community. The local (and only) church is maintained by the HHR family. Although at first glance it seems to be an idyllic place, there is trouble brewing.

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    Ugh, Daily Librul, damn that newspaper. Why does my wife keep subscribing to it? When will she learn?

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    If you look carefully you can see the distinguished priest HHR behind the bushes. He's a well respected member of the community who many consider to be the moral authority.
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    All the advertisements are for wheat products. It's POISON of MIND and BODY!

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    Librullibrullubrul... I wonder how old is she... brulibrul...

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    Oh god, all this non-sense is giving me a headache. I should contact my West-Coast Discussion Society pals for a general discussion about the liberal menace. Some constructive arguments never hurt.

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    Oh boy, HHR sure is a character. To his right we have his lovely wife and their firstborn.

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    They spend every day together, mostly taking care of the church.

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    Lately the attendance has been very low so the HHR family has had a lot of free time. Sadly, this has lead to grave consequences.

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    The family lives in the small attic of the church. While Mary takes care of Thomas, HHR maintains good spirits visiting internet forums and by buying the newest gadgets.

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    Err, I better hide the memory card.

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    Not all is well with HHR. Although his high moral standard has given him ability to talk with higher powers, he still can't find answers to some of his questions.
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    Oh have mercy on me Lord. I've been trying to stay pure for you but last few months have been difficult. Thomas is a blessing, of course, but Mary, you see... er... has changed. She seems to be more and more influenced by the liberal wheatist propoganda and... she doesn't want to consume our love anymore.

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    I put the "stud" in bible study. *wink*

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    I believe one of my ribs belongs to you. *wink wink*

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    Do you need prayer? because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you.
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    Eeh, sorry, I don't feel to well today.
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    ...

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    So, there's that. Well, you don't seem to be talkative, again.

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    Will HHR and his wife rekindle their holy love? Or will HHR give into sin? Find out next time, on Butthurt Valley!

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    That...curve..trans fats...brulibl...Lord give me strength!
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2014
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  3. zwanzig_zwoelfgender: ⚧ Guest

    zwanzig_zwoelf
    :lol:

    Will watch with interest.
     
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  4. RK47gender: ⚧ Degenerates happily Patron

    RK47
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    Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
    :|
     
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  5. Hoaxmetalgender: ⚧ Arcane

    Hoaxmetal
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    I made the screenshots (for roughly 3-4 updates) in August but never bothered to put them together, add text etc.

    Let me show how Sims LP is done :smug: ( in before abandoned after page 3).
     
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  6. RK47gender: ⚧ Degenerates happily Patron

    RK47
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    Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
    Good luck. Go with God.
    I pray for you before sleep etc
    Vaya conned Dios
     
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  7. Aziragender: ⚧ Arcane Patron

    Azira
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    Codex 2012
    Watched. :avatard:
     
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  8. The_scorpiongender: ⚧ Liturgist

    The_scorpion
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    :whatho: watched indeed.
     
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  9. Make America Great Again Irenaeusgender: ⚧ Self-Ejected Patron Dumbfuck Repressed Homosexual The Real Fanboy

    Self-Ejected
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    Seems very interesting. I wonder will happen in the next episode.
     
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  10. Major_Blackhartgender: ⚧ Codexia Lord Sodom Patron

    Major_Blackhart
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    RAPE!!
     
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  11. Hoaxmetalgender: ⚧ Arcane

    Hoaxmetal
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    :smug:
     
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  12. Hoaxmetalgender: ⚧ Arcane

    Hoaxmetal
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    Welcome to another episode of Butthurt Valley!
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    HHR has been brooding these last few days. His wife's lack of passion for consuming of love in good christian manner and the general lack of church-goers has left a mark on his mind.
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    Even inspecting every inch of god's son's body doesn't give me pleasure anymore. I cannot go on like this!
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    Oh, I know! I should contact someone who shares my faith. And is not my wife.
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    Hmm. Yes. That waitress girl... she has certain... qualities... let's see. She works at کافر کو جلا دو now? What is that gibberish? Some hipster place? Well, I should meet her after her shift.

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    On his way there HHR starts to feel uneasy. The locals seem to be... browner than he's accustomed to.
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    What is that smell? Smells like decadence.
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    Oh, hello father HHR! I haven't seen you since that mass you did on those people you call libruls.
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    Hello my child. *What is that on her head? And why is she wearing a carpet?
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    I'm just checking on good christians that I haven't seen in the church lately. Where have you been?
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    Oh, about that... I got married, you see? My husband showed me how christianity is full of infidel lies, as he says.
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    OH GOD! FIRST LIBRULS THEN NO SEX AND NOW MUSLISMS AGHOOOD I MUST CLEANSE THIS POOR SPIRIT
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    THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!

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    What the heck are you doing? Get off me!! Help, Andhaira!

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    Andhaira is the local muslim wise-man although he asks more questions than he gives answers.
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    What is this infidel doing and why?

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    Looks like trouble. Will this end peacefully or in hurting of the backside? Find out next time, on Butthurt Valley!
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2014
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  13. evdkgender: ⚧ comrade troglodyte :M Patron

    evdk
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    Codex 2012 Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 A Beautifully Desolate Campaign
    I love the shirt.
     
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  14. rawgender: ⚧ Turbo Chad Patron

    raw
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    Last edited: May 17, 2014
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  15. Make America Great Again Whiskygender: ⚧ The Solution

    Whisky
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    Shit bro, HHR must be feeling bad. He didn't even notice his wife made a VEGAN meal for him.
     
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  16. Major_Blackhartgender: ⚧ Codexia Lord Sodom Patron

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    RAPE!
     
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  17. Hoaxmetalgender: ⚧ Arcane

    Hoaxmetal
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    Meh, making up silly alternative names for characters is a bit too derp when they're just codex personalities anyway. Retconning and updating soon.
     
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  18. Hoaxmetalgender: ⚧ Arcane

    Hoaxmetal
    Joined:
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    Welcome back to Butthurt Valley!
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    We left off with HHR encountering Andhaira. Feeling pumped by touching woman's lips for the first time in months, he's prepared to teach him what bible is about.
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    And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray! Only my church isn't corrupted! Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood! Stone the muslim!

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    What's wrong, silly westerner? Strong and confident muslim men taking your women? Let me show you the hands who tore though the walls of RPGWatch prison.
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    لحاظ سے پسماندہ موضوعات کی طاقت!
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    I cannot watch this.
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    Show me that white pasty ass!
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    That must be some Pakistani male bonding ritual.
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    ...why doesn't this fell as bad as I feared?
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    Limping back home HHR is greeted by another bad surprise.
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    Is that one of those furry freaks? What is he doing here?
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    I just cannot stop loving him, even after the operation. Oh no, is that the priest?
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    Hey, you, in the suit!
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    What are you doing in my church at this ungodly hour?
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    Err, just promoting our local sport's team to your... wife, heh heh.
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    I'll show you god's wra- ow! My ass burnss!
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    Heh, tell me about it. You better visit a doctor buddy. Anyway, gotta go!
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    All the pain and implications have left HHR a bit... unstable. He decided to spend the night in the streets. What'll happen next? Keep watching Butthurt Valley to find out!





     
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  19. Make America Great Again Whiskygender: ⚧ The Solution

    Whisky
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    That fucking shirt is the best one in the game.
     
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  20. Major_Blackhartgender: ⚧ Codexia Lord Sodom Patron

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    It is amazing
     
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  21. rawgender: ⚧ Turbo Chad Patron

    raw
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  22. Hoaxmetalgender: ⚧ Arcane

    Hoaxmetal
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    Show Spoiler
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    Welcome back to Butthurt Valley!

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    Unwilling to return back to his wife, HHR had no choice but to live on the street. Dumpster diving became a necessity.
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    Soon he found out that Butthurt Valley had plenty of homeless souls like him. One of these encounters completely changed HHR's life.
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    Meet Melcar. Once a successful playboy, how he's just a shell of his former self.

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    That asian booty, man. Nothing like it! Her ass was so fat. I lust love asses. Asian asses are the best.
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    I met this hooker hanging out behind some Thai bar. I didn't even have to pay her, that's how handsome I used to be. Long story short I decided to marry that piece of oriental booty. Week later she ran away with all my money. Oh well, won't stop me from appreciating tits and ass.
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    You don't look tough or too smart either so you don't have a lot of choices if you want to survive here.
    *Grabs croth* Ok you can work with this. No homo.
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    Here's how you earn easy 50 bucks. You go to that pub, find a dude and offer him your butt. That's how it works.
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    Well, a man has to eat.
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    It didn't take long for HHR to find his first client.
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    Sure thing cutie. Give me some... spiritual guidance in the bathroom.
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    *unzips* God forgive me.

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    [​IMG] Ugh, I changed my mind. See you around.
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    Wait, what? COME BACK HERE AND I'LL EARN THOSE FIFTY BUCKS! *slams door shut*
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    Love thy neighbor indeed. See you next time on Butthurt Valley!



     
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  23. rawgender: ⚧ Turbo Chad Patron

    raw
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  24. Major_Blackhartgender: ⚧ Codexia Lord Sodom Patron

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    Fuck off raw. This is great.
     
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