Here goes nothing
also dicksmoker what the fuck is wrong with you man, come on
It feels pretty hopeless.
It's possible this might not distress you. Does it?
Like, what's even the point of trying to get better?
I don't know what trying to get better means here.
Even if I managed to things would not go back to being as they were, and the only thingie I would gain would be more control over the episodes and the break downs but they would not disappear. So it is basically "Gee, do you want to break completely right now and just be done with it or live under the constant stress of clawing at whatever you can claw to so you don't break and people keeps liking you?"
I'm not sure what you mean. What comes to mind is a story of one of
Azrael the cat's clients, he fucking goes catatonic anytime he's pressured yet he managed to marry a woman and have a family...
until corrupt cops fucked it all up, now he's locked up somewhere and has cut off ties to his family but hey if we start considering unlucky misfortunes when we think things we won't get anywhere amirite
No but really that's no reason to stop trying I think since everyone is vulnerable to this, though I might be wrong, and yes it's real story, unless you think Azrael the cat is a liar
One way or another I am not going to have a normal life. The only difference lies in whether people sees it and hates me for it, or people doesn't see it and it is just about me feeling miserable and having to lie even to the people I don't want to lie to.
Why do people have to hate you for it? See what? Why would a good, upstanding person hate you? Maybe there are good people who can tolerate it out there, finding them is a challenge, I know
Why are people necessary?
And I'm not sure if you actually generally feel unhappy. It's possible you don't. I have to consider this you know
But then it's not like you can do anything about it.
But I sure as hell can
try, I'm The Fucking Messiah
It is you guys who are insane.
Hey, I'm sane enough stop insulting us
also notice how I put quotes on the word, that was a important cue... I'd suggest you to "get" good friends who don't believe in magic or embrace superficiality(might be getting things wrong again), even if for more balanced opinions, but then I remembered I might as well tell you to win the lottery or rob a bank as this is probably hard even for "normal" people
She just kind of believes I should stop running away from shit, particularly when running away from shit tends to end with me in places and companies like the present one because I'm the kind of girl who just needs to be surrounded by people 24/7 and I can't simply interact with normal people when I am breaking down and trying to keep my brain from pulling blue screens.
You're telling me I could make you "feel bad" IRL? Well, give me some advice on how not to, if this DISCUSSI... well, conversation, is going to somehow survive for a little longer
How are you running away from something right now? I don't understand. I don't understand what you mean by breakdowns either, maybe it's best that you explain it in PMs... maybe not. I'm not a fucking psychiatrist or one of them dudes who figure out those bizarre(but apparently effective) physical PTSD therapies, if there's some chance of helping you with anything here I likely can't do it by myself... but I don't know if there's anyone else who would try this, well at least outside of PMs
the issue I see with continuing this discussion here, besides proving whatever DU's point might be(didnt read OLOL) and pissing others off is potentially people bothering you with this somehow and you saying something you can regret, all I can list right now
We don't. She has her own account here (with a single post, lol) and elsewhere but she knows all there is to be known about me, so what do I have to hide? She knows all my passwords (and sometimes I ask her the ones I forget, lol) and I can enter -her- accounts if I need to check something too. Like, for example she doesn't switch accounts every time she decides the symbolism is out of date like I do so most of the time I just check the email of people I have lost contact with during my account changes in her account when I remember they exist and want to write them.
That's weird. But while I may be remembering wrong I knew one or more girls who did this. Still p. fucking weird.
It also saves my two best friends and I on the explanations. Like, we are talking over Skype and "Did you read the mail so and so sent me?", "He sent you one? Let me check... OMG, he's a moron."
Black Cat cannot into copypasting, what a surprise
do I have to put disclaimers that I am not being serious on every joke attempt?
It may be hard for you guys to understand, but the three of us (me, "erika", and my other best friend) have known each other since we were really small and I trust them both more than I trust my brother, who I trust pretty much implicitly in anything serious (though he trolls me badly in anything not serious). As far as I am concerned if I can't trust them the same I just jump beneath a moving traind and be done with it.
It is, but hopefully your trust is well deposited. They're still teenagers and just as fallible as you are. Alright, maybe less, but that's still a serious concern, they probably simply can't fill in for a "good parent"(think of a person caring for and guiding physically disabled kid) even if they try, but I'm not sure how rare good parents are
There's other concern I have, and it's about bad things parents can end up doing, but I think it might be best for everyone(?) to stop here
Gee. I am tired of this already. I did not do any drama or any crap like that until this happened and was just hanging in the library and the playground, and minding my own business.
People got mad because you started talking about yourself(in a way that's sure to annoy certain people, let's not forget) and then the text wall(and lots of people are prejudiced), I guess. That thing about romanticizing or something. Let's not dwell on this as it is irrelevant, I'm just saying.
And now she -is- pretty pissed at me for breaking her rules and not leaving the very moment that shit went into the frontpage so I should just leave already and go hunker down in a closet somewhere until my mind becomes clear again and I stop acting at random. See you in half a year or so, I guess.
If she exists I guess I owe her an apology, babysitting people is some hard, headache inducing shit. And I'm not being sarcastic or anything here, though I should probably figure out a better synonym before I post this. But I can sympathize, what this kind of conversation can probably be seen as reckless, and it might be
What do you mean by acting at random? It's funny, I have this problem that I can't think clearly
most of the timesometimes, but it's probably a whole different animal
Anyway, see you next alt(?), hope things get better
See you in half a year or so, I guess.
I don't know what to say so I will say nothing.
See you again if you feel like it.
umad
or cat got your tongue
well, if anyone wants to persuade me to stop this you can try, likely you're going to convince me, I wouldn't want to do something stupid
