Considering the stuff that passes for RPG these days, I don't see much reason to laugh at pogeymans.
Turn based combat(newer ones have 2 vs 2 and 3 vs 3 battles)
Full party creation
Huge customization (unless you're a tourneyfag, in which case there are like 5 "community approved" party builds)
Stats matter (but trainer guy has no stats)
No romances (only raw, animal sex among monsters)
No bullshit epic story (there may be a crime syndicate or two in your way, but what matters is: are you a bad enough dude to beat the champion?)
No cutscenes
No fake choices (You sure as fuck are a bad enough dude. Take this monster and go hurt things for XP and money)
No grindan (unless you're lazy and want to win by sheer level difference)
No decline (the best, most complex title is always the latest one)
Very few bugs (the discovered ones are famous because of that)
Beauty contests where you can even win ribbons for your pretty princess of a fire breathing dragon, holy shit
fake edit: Hey, it even fulfills Serious_Business requirements for oldschool goodness.
SB said:
Shitty interfaces, generic settings, repetitive gameplay, grindan and loot, excel sheets, levelling up, fake-difficulty based on character skill and not player skill, etc