Tacticular Cancer: We'll have your balls

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Witch hunting through space and time - Let's Play Waxworks!

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Black Cat, Sep 29, 2010.

  1. Crooked Bee Nyadmin

    Crooked Bee
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    Codex 2014 MCA Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
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  2. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
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    Insert clever insult here
    Whoa, they sure loved their traps in Ancient Egypt.
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  3. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    Zombies can be nasty foes if properly implemented*.

    *Can only be defeated with holy stuff or total mutilation and dismemberment.
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  4. Black Cat Prestigious Gentleman Cipher

    Black Cat
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    Location:
    Skyrim .///.
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    (it needs more Dakka, always)



    Chapter the fifth; Zombie Nyapocalypse.
    In which our heroine defeats the entire armies of darkness one extremity at a time while exploring the labyrinthine graveyard evil calls home. She will also get totally very angry at her ancestors, defeat the evilest Necromancer and his Vampire bodyguard in glorious combat, and solve about one and a half easy puzzles. And no, I despise, with great passion, Highschool of the Dead and everything related to it so contrary to what I usually do i'm not going to take advantage of the situation to post random fanart here. Sorry.







    Hello, and welcome back to Kuroneko-Sensei defeats the forces of evil with great charm and wit! Ahem. In any case last time we met our heroine and her meat puppet, Prince Cassim of Egypt, defeated the first of the evil twins, this one an evil priest to Anubis, and rescued the Prince's bethroted by means of slaughtering many things and solving many clever puzzles and evading (ha, ha, ha) many devious traps. Now, and after leaving the Prince and the Princess to newlywed stuffies, our heroine returns to her uncle's waxworks to take on a new quest: To enter a graveyard housing an evil necromancer and his many undead minions to both slaughter the later and defeat the former.

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    Our meat puppet now is some gravedigger guy, though his image looks more like a Priest or something. A full moon shines in the somewhat clear sky, graves and monuments surround us almost completely, and we are both unarmed and back at level one. Thank you, game. After exploring a bit around our landing area, however, we find the graveyard's gardener, looking a bit under the weather and, thus, resting with his back against the iron railing that surrounds the premises.

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    In his chest we find a smallish sickle, the only weapon we will have during this quest. We dislodge it, equip it, and we are ready for business. Before going deeper into the graveyard, however, I decide to talk with our Uncle to get up to speed with our mission and it's details.

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    No turn undead, Uncle? I am disapoint.

    'tis be work for a butcher, Uncle. Thou arest a jerk.

    Maps are for the weak, Uncle. When you have crawled as many dungeons as I have you either have developed amazing spatial awareness or you should truly start looking for a diferent job, for thou arest a Noob.

    When I have some, I mean.

    Oh, yeah, ho, ho, ho. You are a riot. :roll:

    So ends tonight's first necromantic experiment. We prepare ourselves and start going deeper into the haunted graveyard, gaining a level for exploration along the way. Then we notice a silhouette in the distance, shambling towards us. There's no mistaking it, a zombie it is! The smell alone is a dead give away, not to mention the fashionable looks.

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    In a similar way to how we fought the egyptian soldiers we must focus on the arms first. Instead of just hurting them to weaken their attacks, however, when enought damage has been done to a Zombie's extremities those will fall off, leaving them trying to beat us with their bloody stumps. Then we go for the head, cut it cleanly, and be done with it.

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    They are actually pretty easy to kill, and as long as you are fast with the mouse you can kill them at a high enough speed the leveling up will negate any damage you are taking, at least until you hit the ninth or tenth level. This is good, given there are veritable swarms of them going around and I doubt you can kill them all as in the egyptian level: Every now and then new zombies come out of the ground, so while the numbers are much smaller in those areas you have already cleaned, since you must only fight just those coming out of the ground instead of both those and the ones walking around, you always have monsters to kill and ambushes to watch for.

    It is also interesting to note that if you cut a zombie's head before cutting both of their arms they will continue fighting until both arms have been cut. Therefore, I'm starting to think you don't ever kill them, just cut their arms so they can't attack you and their heads so they can't sense you and that's it. Ewwww.

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    This area is pretty cool. There are some pretty scenes to see while looking around for stuff, like this statue we come across somewhere. Nearby we also come across the item that can totally stop your advance by itself: The iron bar. We will soon need it and it is pretty hard to find when you don't know where to look, since as you can see below it is a bar from the surrounding fence, that can only be taken from a very specific tile.

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    After taking the bar we keep exploring. We come across the tomb of our ancestors soon afterwards, this being just one of many similar looking tombs around the graveyard. We circle around it until we find a crack we can use to force open one of it's sides, then do so by means of the iron bar and enter. Notice in the second capture the distant light, for that's the light of the tower of the local church, where our evil twin, the necromancer, is waiting. Remembering where a given place is in relation to the tower makes pretty easy to find the place again.

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    Inside we find four coffins, and each of them has an inscription. From left to right they read the first, the second, the fourth, and the last. Naturally, the first thing we do is to open the one whose inscription reads the last and take a peek inside...

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    Yay, the necromancer is one relative closer to complete the collection!

    Seriously, now, we start opening them from the left. Thus we meet The first, uhm, first. We talk to him.

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    Don't say! :roll:

    I know i'm cool and cuddly and amazing and everything but you are coming through as somewhat stalkerish, dude. No offense.

    Can I switch sides? This Vladimir guy sounds like right up my alley...

    You are really helpful, man.

    And how in Hell do you know that? Totally stalker, i say! That's how!

    Can I haz quest, plz.

    ... Do you know what? Screw you. Totally, screw you. Oh, yes, you can't even do that. Ololol. You surely are no master of moving, eh? And screw you, too. Sideways. Wanker.

    :x

    Screw you, dood. People usually ask me for help in such matters, not the other way around.

    Yes, what I have seen of your power already has me in awe. You are a true master of rotting, eh? OLOLOL. Screw you.

    You don't deserve little me, that's for sure. I'm too much of a classy high quality witch for you. I'll go find some crappy commoner spellcaster for you to talk on the same level with.

    One that can cope with your stench and your looks, at least. Hmpf.

    After that we move to the second coffin and meet the second good twin. He's in a similar state, but we resist the urge to throw up in his nose and talk to him out of the compasive kindness of our hearts.

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    Oh, this is just great. :roll:

    Do you really want me to answer that?

    How about i'm sorry for having been a jerk to you, ma'am while we are at it?

    And then he falls silent. *sigh*

    We then open the third coffin, revealing the fourth good twin. He doesn't answer our calls, however, so we are done with the rotten corpses for a while. Before leaving, though, let's talk with Uncle Boris once more.

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    So all we lack to do us some high level necromancy to counter the forbidden rituals of our evil ancestors is... A sponge, right? Right. This is why Chaotes and I can go no further than a Love/Hate relationship, at best. It is time to go further into the graveyard, exploring the far reaches in search of useful thingies. While doing so we will slaughter veritable hordes of zombies, so i'll just post some highlights of our travels.

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    Many zombies and levels later we come across a small stake. We pick it up and sharpen it with the help of our sickle. Then we keep exploring the graveyard, looking for something absorvent for Uncle Boris to use as component for his counterspell and a fresh heart for him to use as component of his Healing spell. Also, zombies were dismembered. Many zombies.

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    :yeah:

    After a while, however, I notice I have yet to die to the Zombies, so I just stand doing nothing while they come at me. And let me tell you, dear reader: Imageshack is soooo going to delete this one image.

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    Ewwww. So we reload and keep the slaughter going until we actually reach the door to the church and, finding it unlocked, open it and enter. Inside we find a somewhat spartan chappel with just the bare stuffies needed to hold service. To our right a door protected by a magical field of some kind. To our left, the, uhm, stuffie that tells what are they going to read today. Or something.

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    My biblical quoting powers are somewhat rusty, so feel free to add the quote if you want. When we approach the altar, however, we are ambushed by a flying rat! Having the heart of a collector I do nothing to stop it. Gotta catch 'em all!

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    Yay. Next time I'm too slow to use the stake before he starts his biting animation. This is pretty fun, for he then bites me and I then stake him to death. And, then, we die because of the bite. Buggy Bug, I found thee! Third time's the charm, for we use the stake before he turns into human shape.

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    He turns back into a bat, maybe to escape, but is engulfed in flames and dies, leaving us to loot the altar. I take it all: The bread, the chalice, the two candles. Then we turn left and find a statue in a niche, which upon closer inspection reveals a mechanism. We turn the head, and the energy field becomes deactivated.

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    Before we go beyond, however, we must return to the graveyard. We could already go back to the tomb of our ancestors, but first I want to find the fresh heart for the healing spell. We explore, butchering many zombies, until we finally find a side path we had missed before. There we find a dead girl with her chest ripper appart.

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    We take the heart and return to the tomb, slaughtering many an undead along the way. Once there we summon Uncle Boris for a little chat.

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    And you are a master of magic and a better spellcaster than, like, moi? Hmpf. We could have just, you know, burned them. No physical undead monster can resist the cleansing power of fire, as per Igne Natura Renovatur Integra. I'm surrounded by noobs, that's what I am. Yessir. Totally surrounded.

    In any case, and leaving the whining for later, the bodies of our ancestors become engulfed in bright light and three orb like thingies come flying towards me and enter the crystal ball. Now we have all of them, along with Uncle Boris, in there, as we can see when we, once more, summon the ball's power.

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    O, great spellcaster? ¬¬

    Yeah, whatever. I have a heart, and it looks fresh enough.

    The spell leaves us with 99 HP. We now carve another bloody path through the undead legions. They seem to be pretty hyperactive right now, given once we hit the chappel we are down to 65 HP. Without lossing an instant we open the door that was, before, blocked off by the force field and start climbing a tall and spiralling staircase. As we do so our Ancestors decide to give us some more advise.

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    Atop the staircase we meet the Necromancer. He is with his back towards us when we reach him, but soon he turns around and bears all of his arcane prowess against us. He has many spells, including lighting and similar things, but he's a while to take all of our health away. So much for the legendary Necromancer, we actually have to sit down to wait for him to kill us.

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    Cool. Now we reload, climb the stairway again, and as soon as we reach him we click on him and pick the touch option. As we give him the finger and the spirits of our ancestors invade his body he starts growing younger with every passing moment. As he's immortal, the only way for our ghostly pals to finish his evil ways is to...

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    ... and since he's outside the flow of time, now he will be that for all of eternity, or something. In any case, we have defeated a new evil twin and, after the obligatory light show, are sent back to the waxworks. Again, the big bald retard congratulates us and then tries to shove us around, but this time we are prepared and quickly run around so he can't use this as an excuse to place his dirty hands on us.

    Only two Waxworks are left, so we are halfway there. Who shall we face next? Jack the ripper...

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    ... or Lovecraftian thingie-kun?

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    The former is like a classical point and click adventure in a big maze, while being pursued by cops and angry mobs against whom we have no defense but outruning them and making them lose our track. They aren't, however, as persistent as Hellnight's evil thingie, though every now and then the feeling you get is pretty much similar: We run around, evade those who pursue us, solve puzzles, explore new places, memorize where everything is. There are some pretty unfair puzzles, however, when the developers go into moralfag mode and the like, but I already know the solutions so there's nothing to worry about. There is only one fight in that level: A duel, at the end, against Jack The Ripper himself. It's pretty easy.

    The later is a beautiful dungeon crawl that's insanely hard until you find the trick. It's the best of the four stages, in my opinion: Creepy, tense, with many monsters to kill, many puzzles to solve, many traps to evade, one or two really unfair segments that require the use of a metagaming sight spell to have a change at solving, and a pretty intense final boss. The main theme in this one is that almost everything you need has several diferent applications but is, also, only found in very limited amounts. It's the easiest level to get yourself into a corner only restarting the level can pull you out of, be it because you wasted an item you later needed somewhere else or because you did not use the metagaming sight spell to know that not doing such thing, or doing such thing in any place other than this precise one, would make the level unwinable.

    So, vote! Otherwise, i'll just follow the chronological order: First the mine, then London. And, then, the Witch!

    'till next time, nya!



    Now, unto other thingies...

    Indeedy. It's the same as the one just before to that, with Prince Cassim crushed beneath big and squaredish stone blocks. It seems imageshack kind of hates me and deletes not only most stuff with sexual content, and that I can almost understand, but also kind of violentish stuff. Later I'll re-upload the ones imageshack deletes to one of the most, uhm, anarchic hosts I was going to use for Enzai and similar pervy games.

    Epic Image is Epic. You have to love the way Kit looks at the gun in that one. :P

    And I had not just to reload some, but almost every single bloody death on that last update. It felt like there was a Soccer Mom somewhere, just waiting in the shadows of Imageshack to start reporting Prince Cassim's most grizzly fates for deletion. It's kind of retarded, those weren't really all that grizzly to begin with.

    Though it's not nearly as frustrating as Enzai was. All my precious little animated GIFs, deleted each time I turned my back on them... T-T

    Sometimes I wonder how it is you people always catch those things I wouldn't even notice if trying to. Then I remember I am surrounded by Rance-Sama's fans here in the Playground.

    She looks kind of Tranny-ish, though.

    Arigatou Gozaimasu.

    :love:

    As you have seen during this update the total mutilation and dismemberment part is pretty well done, though as long as you are somewhat fast to explore the graveyard and remember where everything is it isn't likely they will manage to overpower you, given his main advantage is being without number. Sooner or later, however, they would kill you, given you the more you kill the more zombies you need to kill to level up and regain health.

    Totally. :P
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  5. dextermorgan Liturgist

    dextermorgan
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    I'm becoming strangely enamored by your wackiness BC. :retarded:

    Keep up the good work. :salute:
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  6. Crooked Bee Nyadmin

    Crooked Bee
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    Codex 2014 MCA Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    You know, BC, you're really one of the best bloody quality LPers on the Codex, up there on top the Playground pyramid ziggurat, one of the very select few. I really loved reading your stuff even back when I was still too shy and/or busy to spam-comment the Playground and other threads the way I do now. I remember being in Berlin in September, sitting in a Starbucks on Friedrichstrasse and reading that epic thread on why wapanese games are shit and some other similar thread and getting enamoured with you and your stuffies, which now shows in my own LP. So, erm, why am I saying all this? Ah fuck it, I dunno. Just keep yourself up, will ya?
    I know this is suspect, coming from your alt and all that, but I mean it, really.

    :salute:

    :sisfist: :P

    EDIT: Went so melodramatic that forgot to cast my vote. I vote for the chronological order.
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  7. anus_pounder Arcane

    anus_pounder
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    I don't even read or play Rance anymore. Though my avatar indicates I did at some point.

    But anyway, Go for the Lovecraftian thingy. Leave the Ripper for last.
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  8. KalosKagathos Prestigious Gentleman Learned

    KalosKagathos
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    The return of this LP pleases me.
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  9. Black Cat Prestigious Gentleman Cipher

    Black Cat
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    Location:
    Skyrim .///.
    With two votes against one it seems we will be going to purge us some mutants and heretics, leaving the taking of a relaxing stroll through victorian London for the very last, just before facing the witch.

    I'll get started on it, and let's hope my memory works as intended. At least I remember enough as to keep a save at the very begining so I can restart as many times as needed, at least.



    Awww, you are the bestest alt one could hope for! Thank you for the nice comments and words.

    :love:

    I'm sorry if the Rance-Sama's Fan comment was in bad taste or did bother you in any way. It was mostly an innocent joke on the sharp detection of, well, the lack of nipples, given I did not notice until you mentioned it, myself.

    Again, sorry if it did came as patronizing or something like that, it wasn't the intention at all.

    Thank you both for the encouragement and the kind words.

    Sorry. :(
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  10. Black Cat Prestigious Gentleman Cipher

    Black Cat
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    Location:
    Skyrim .///.
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    Chapter the sixth; Purge the unclean.
    In which our heroine begins the purge of the mine another one of her twisted ancestors has claimed as lair and base of his evil cult. She will fend off evil western tentacles, less cultured and personable than their eastern cousins, and many vegetable horrors, as well as an army of ugly mutant monsters that send a slight Papa Nurgle vibe. She will also improvise one pretty cool weapon with which to purify her enemies.







    Hello, once more. Things are about to get real for our Heroine and her meat puppet, some mine inspector guy this time. While Waxworks is actually divided in four diferent and isolated stages, or fifth if you count the final battle with the witch on its own, the most memorable of them all is, I believe, this one, The Mine. While we have already fought many soldiers of evil and zombies, the enemies on this stage are diferent, as any one of them can kill us easily in one on one combat and we are, instead, expected to fight them using a limited resource. While enemies are not endless as they were on The Graveyard, for the stage would then be virtually impossible, this makes for a very tense and atmospheric crawl through a big underground complex filled with evil and ugly things.

    We enter the Waxworks. We find ourselves in the body of another one of our ancestors. We are in some kind of metalic cage, and before us a corridor extends. We do not step forward, though. We turn around.

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    There's a wounded guy in here, resting in a corner. Also, the elevator, for that's what the cage like thingie is, controls seems to have been sabotaged. Closer inspection reveal they are way beyond our skills, so instead we focus on the beaten guy. The game tells us he is barely conscious and that his wounds are pretty grave.

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    Being vultureish, I just nod and tell him it's going to be alright while I go through his pockets. Only two things of any use are here to be found: A lighter and a small screwedriver. The later is our first melee weapon on this stage, and is about as useful as it sounds. The former is one of the keys to our success on this stage. After this we stand back, turn back towards the mine, and take a single step. No more than one. A single one. Then we turn around again, so that we are looking towards the elevator.

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    Do you see that bulky thing on the floor? That's going to become our best friend ever during this stage. It's a pressurized chemical sprayer that still holds some fungicide on it, though not much. We pick it up, and now we are ready to survive taking any more steps into the mine. We prepare to do so, but before we call upon Uncle Boris for some guidance. He doesn't have any.

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    Then I ask him about the Elixir the plaque mentioned, but he repeats the previous paragraph, word by word.

    This is just great. We say bye and go back to exploring the mine. Since we are at it, if you are wondering what these Ley lines he mentioned are suposed to be, let's say they are the modern and neopagan interpretation of the metafisical circuit through which spiritual or vital energy flows through the globe. As many modern interpretations of old concepts and ideas the topic is kind of a clusterfuck, with debatees ranging from not very bright wiccans to quite weird chaotes to complete skeptics to the most boring and severe hermetists, no one being able to reach even partial consensus with everyone else. The best you can do is just drop the modern writings on the topic and use the olden ones as reference if needed.

    Back to the mine, we do not give more than a couple of steps when we manage to see a figure coming towards us from the deeps, and it is not friendly. I prepare myself and, as soon as it comes into range and prepares to strike, I use my chemical sprayer on him, who then rots and withers on the spot, collapsing soon afterwards.

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    We keep going forward into the mine. Soon, we come across another corridor, transverse to the one we have been following and with its walls covered in some kind of vines or, ewww, tentacles. I hope they are just mutant vines. But, as we discover as soon as we start exploring this side passage, they are actually a mixture of both vine and tentacle! They wriggle and squirm and do similar things, it's totally not nice.

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    If my mind and soul being many times over scarred by japanese games have taught me anything at all is that you don't get near anything remotely resembling a tentacle if you are not feeling oddly adventurous. Given part of this Let's Play involves finding all, or at least most, of the grizzly fates that can be visited upon our meat puppets, however, we can only be thankful this games is one hundred percent western.

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    In this we can clearly see that the usual accusations of barbarism and brutality that Fair Codexia directs towards the far east are unfair and blown quite out of proportion. Here, Mister Mining Guy has met a grizzly and brutal, bloody and grotesque fate at the, uhm, squirming appendices of a western tentacle monster. However, if this had been an eastern tentacle monster chances are he will just be very tired, truly spent, pretty sweaty, and, uhm, very undressed, but alive and ready, after a short rest and some profesional counseling, to carry on with his crusade. It should be, now, obvious which latitude, and which culture, produces the most civilized and sociable Tentacle Monsters, the ones that care about their, uhm, fellow human, i believe, and which one the most inhuman and brutal, the least able to feel and share love, so I declare Q.E.D and stuffies.

    Only the friendly neighbourhood type of tentacle monsters are allowed to live, though, so we take our chemical sprayer and send him it to receive everlasting judgement. Just as the thing we killed before, in the corridor, it withers and rots within seconds. Yay for us.

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    We venture deeper into this side corridor. After some turns and twists, for there are many other corridors spreading from this one, and one or two more mushroom guys killed we come across another victim of the tentacle like vines, a welder. We take his welding mask and the gas container laying nearby.

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    We return and take now another of the corridors in this area. We come across a very unfriendly looking Pod frowing from the vines along the wall. Just like with the tentacles we get several options if we try to interact with it, one of which is to cut it of. It doesn't work, however, given the target starts reacting to your violent intent: The tentacles become kind of hyperactive, the pod starts quivering menacely, etc. Before murdering it, though, we save and take another step.

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    Ewww. We reload and purge it, and continue exploring the mine. We come across a Pickaxe on a small side corridor ending on a dead end, then come across a new type of mutant monster who also receives the cleansing blessing of our chemical spray.

    Next we face more mutants and pods, come across a shovel on another dead end, face a new type of mutant who goes down as easily as the rest, and finally find another of the keys to our victory on this stage, a generator!

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    The one and most truly important use of the generator will be shown shortly. Now, instead, we explore what little of this area there is still to see, finding a couple alcoves covered with metal grills locked by padlocks we can't cut open right now. The first holds four prisoners, the second some boxes. Then we also come across a corridor going back to the main one, but protected by both tentacles and a pod. I decide it is better to return the long way, given enemies do not respawn, to conserve what little fungicide we still have.

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    Somewhere between the two side entrances leading to the area we just explored, we find a crossroad. The tunnel to the left leads to a dead end, given the area we just explored is in that direction and therefore little space was left for another corridor here. To the right, however, a new set of corridors is located, much more straightforward than the one before. Killing a pod we receive a message indicating our chemical sprayer is almost empty, and then we come across a wooden prop on a smallish side corridor. Going deeper into this section we come across another mutant, and upon killing him the game informs us the spray is now completely empty.

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    Are we defenseless? Of course not. We run back to the generator, unscrew the drainage hole, and use the fuel to fill our presurized sprayer thingie. Then we screw it back, for to do otherwise would be to make the stage unwinable by wasting all the fuel. This, thanks to our lighter, has turned our sprayer into a flamer.

    :yeah:

    Now we run back to the area we were about to finish exploring and a, a bit further down the area where we killed that last mutant, another one comes towards us. However, I do not burn him to a crisp just yet: I did just remember we have yet to see the game over screen of each mutant type. So I just sit down and let him eat us.

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    Bloody bleeping ewww, man. Then, I decide to show you just how hard those little fuckers can be in honourable combat. We reload and, wielding our shovel with holy zeal, charge against him with a prayer in our lips! Most of our attacks do not strike, but anyway: We hit his arms several times but his damage isn't affected. Then I hit several times his chest and head, and he's still coming. I switch to my pickaxe and repeat until he kills us, and remember that I had already leveled up four times without ever suffering damage so I had a pretty important amount of HP stored. That's not going to work, at all. I hope we don't have to resort to that.

    [​IMG]
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    [​IMG]

    This is quite totally not fashionable. Now I reload and solve this predicament the Ordo Hereticus way: Taste His cleansing fire, mutant!

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    :incline: of dungeon crawling.

    Down the corridor we just purged we come across yet another alcove protected by a metal grill we can't yet open, then this area comes to a dead end and we return to the main shaft. Going forward from the crossroads we suddenly find ourselves on the opposite side of the second corridor linking the first area we explored with the main shaft, the one protected both by tentacles and a pod. A bit later, and about the same time we come across a new passage leading to a side area, a mine cart comes down to us!

    [​IMG]
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    The plan was to take a single step from the passage, drop the wooden prop across the rails, then take one step back, as if my memory isn't playing games the newly discovered area also has two entrances. The problem is that the plan did not work, given that step was the last one I needed to take to raise a level, and with the message poping up and stuffies I had not enough time to throw the drop the prop and step back. Also, if you just try to dodge it jumping into any of the side corridors the stage will later hit a dead end, given the cart will not stop by itself until it hits the elevator, blocking your return to it.

    So the only thing I can do, in this situation, is to put the prop one or two tiles before the second entrance to the area we explored first. This means I will have to purge it from the tentacles and the pod, which is what I was trying not to do as to save me two charges from my improvised flamer. Also, we must cleanse the corridor from the shaft and not from the other side, given for some reason you can destroy the pod from the inside of the area, so if we had already stoped the cart we would hit a dead end almost immediately.

    So I put the prop in place, cleanse the corridor, advance until the cart starts coming down, then run back to the prop and take one single step beyond. IN retrospective it would have been quicker to just jump into the passage we just cleansed, wait for the cart to pass, and come out. Instead, we need to go back to the first entrance to that area of the mine, run through its entirety, and come out the second entrance, the one we just cleansed. We also take an iron bar from inside the cart, yay.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    And so this update comes to an end. What horrors await our heroine and her meat puppet (and her FLAMER!) in the deepest reaches of this hallowed mine? Will the remaining shots on her new best friend be enough to completely purge sin and corruption from this place? Will she finally get a welding kit with which to open those metal grills keeping the contents of the storage alcoves out of her reach? To receive the answer to those and many other questions you will have to wait for the next update!

    Coming soon to a playground near you, etc.
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  11. anus_pounder Arcane

    anus_pounder
    Joined:
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    5,133
    Location:
    Gethsemane ✞
    :salute: Keep the deaths coming.
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  12. Mrowak Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Mrowak
    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2008
    Messages:
    3,769
    Project: Eternity
    Rich :lol:

    Do carry on. :salute:
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  13. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    13,015
    Location:
    Insert clever insult here
    Why do you hate awesome, BC? Awesome and big busts?

    [​IMG]

    Okey, you are forgiven. Carry on :salute:
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  14. Crooked Bee Nyadmin

    Crooked Bee
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2010
    Messages:
    12,462
    Codex 2014 MCA Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    Kewl.

    The revival of this LP is :incline: indeed.
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  15. lightbane Liturgist

    lightbane
    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2008
    Messages:
    3,788
    Location:
    Neverwhere
    Carry on your lps :love:

    [Perception] + [Intelligence] : It looks like you know many things about tentacle monsters, perhaps you once had first-hand "experience" with one of these? [/joke]
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  16. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,799
    Location:
    Vault City
    BULLSHIT. LIES. R00FLES

    If they were wapanese tentacle monsters they'd rape him, then dismember him, and kill him and then rape the corpse.

    Carry on. This game artwork is really interesting.
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  17. Fowyr Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Fowyr
    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2009
    Messages:
    3,459
    Please continue this awesome LP! Also I remembered this iron bar from graveyard and was totally :x.
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  18. Black Cat Prestigious Gentleman Cipher

    Black Cat
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2009
    Messages:
    1,997
    Location:
    Skyrim .///.
    Chapter the seventh; Suffer not the mutant to live.
    In which our heroine burns many mutant abominations, rescue the prisoners, explores the rest of the underground complex, collects everything that isn't nailed down, and then faces this waxwork's evil twin, whom she defeats by means of poking his eyes with a stick and then rigging the mine to blow up on his face.







    Last time we met we did half the mine. Let's, without further ado, do now the remaining half, then. From the second corridor leading into the first area we explored we now go further down the main shaft, until we come to that side corridor we saw just before the cart tried to kill us. This leads to another small complex of many twisting corridors, the entrance protected by a new type of unfriendly pod.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Ouch, unfriendly indeed. We reload and flame this pod, then the one behind it. After some twists and turns we come across a much needed item: The welding torch! Before we start vandalizing private property, however, we must finish exploring those tunels we are in. A bit further another corridor we come across a dead engineer, whose pocket contains a handkerchief that will be of use later. We also take his toolbox.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    There's also a corridor almost completely dark, but I leave exploring that one for later. After burning down some more tentacles we also come across a small passage leading into a dead end and with kind of rickety looking light fixtures, so I go cleptomaniac on it and take a length of cable with me just in case.

    [​IMG]
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    Now we return to the alcove where the prisoners where being held. Since I have the welding torch, the gas tank, and the welding mask we can finally give that padlock what it deserves.

    [​IMG]
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    [​IMG]

    Inside we meet some fellow dungeon crawlers. The rightmost one, the game tells me, looks scarcely affected by the situation. We talk to her.

    [​IMG]

    Then it did hit me: The chronology on the game is totally wrong! The twins in the mine are suposed to be the seventh batch while the twins in Victorian London are suposed to be the next one, but there is no way this mine is pre-victorian: The technology, this girl's way of speaking, etc. My suspension of disbelief is totally ruined!

    Jeez, how many times are you expecting me to click before giving me the full answer?

    That's pretty cool. If any of the monsters here is in need of first aid I'll get you.

    Tres useful, indeed.

    Whatever you say. The only thing I actually need you for is...

    You are useless, hmpf. This is why White Witches are far more convenient than technologists.

    Whatever.

    Screw you.

    Next, going from right to left, is the soldier, who is, as the game informs us, not yet under the effects of the evil potion.

    [​IMG]

    Blown... up...

    :yeah:

    Sounds totally like a plan!

    Things are starting to look our way, yay. Next is the electrician, a half mutated guy who isn't really holding together very good at all.

    [​IMG]

    Naturally, this is when he falls unconscious. Yay, we wouldn't like things being easy for once. In any case, the fourth prisoner is already fully mutated, or almost. I search him to get a close up, but I do not talk to him given he is already in the clutches of the evil plant monster and, if we were to bring his attention upon us, he would either attack us or call mutants to attack us, I do not remember which one it was. It's a waste of flamer fuel, and as you will later see I came very close to not having enough to finish the stage, so summoning extra monsters to kill isn't smart at all.

    [​IMG]

    We leave this alcove and go to the other nearby, the one with the boxes. I murder the padlock and proceed to loot the contents: The rightmost box has a detonator, the remaining three explosives.

    [​IMG]

    There's one storage alcove left, so we leave this area by the corridor closest to the elevator, move to the crossroads just before the spot where we did stop the cart, and proceed down the right corridor. After a short while we defeat another padlock and loot another room: A small wooden box at the corner contains four bottles, two empty and two turned into molotov cocktails. Over the lockers there are three gas mask, lacking filters, and inside we find two heavy protective suits.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    As we are leaving, however, we find the mutants have decided to stop us here and now. We purge the infidels.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Again, I move to the other side of the cart blocking the shaft through the area with the two exits to it and move past the corridor leading to the area we just explored a while ago. We burn down another mutant, some tentacles protecting the last stretch of shaft and, a little bit before those, the pods protecting a small side corridor in which we find a dead medic. In his pocket he has a handkerchief and a key, and we also take his first aid kit.

    [​IMG]

    The key, we discover upon close examination, operates the lock of the elevator's safety gates. Also, and given further down the main shaft is our evil mutant brother's lair, I assume we are not going to get a lantern or similar tool to light the dark tunnel and therefore return here to search it. After burning down a hard to see pod we find the dark area is nothing but a small corridor and a dead end. Feeling around the walls and floor we find a dead miner, his hand still clutching a drill. This will be useful for the soldier, but we need also the, uhm, drill thingie that goes, uhm, drilling stuffies. The one that goes in the drill's, uhm, tip? Screw this. My knowledge of tools is severely limited.

    [​IMG]

    In any case, I keep feeling along the walls until I find several holes. Then I feel inside each of those holes until I find the one where the drill's, uhm, drill is. As we are leaving again do those mutants decide to ambush us in a previously cleared tunnel. My flamer was already running low on juice, and after reducing to cinders one or two of the evil ones it is left totally empty. The problem is the tunnel leading to the shaft is blocked by one more mutant, so I can't go back to the generator for more fuel. Is this the end of our charming heroine, now defenseless against the mutant hordes? Of course not, for in a moment of mild desperation I try to reload the flamer with the contents of one of those molotov cocktails we just got a while ago and it actually works. Pew pew, ashes to ashes.

    We now go back to talk with the soldier, and again I ask him about the things he'll need to help me fight the chief monster, in detail.

    We have almost everything, already. The only thing we lack is a filter for the gas mask, then we are golden. Next I give the doctor the first aid kit and tell her to come with me so we can help the wounded guy in the elevator. We go straight here.

    [​IMG]

    I offer her my shovel and my screwdriver, but she doesn't like those either. She obviously wants my flamer, but there's no way i'm giving it to her.

    Jesus, I would love if the game let me kick her out of the elevator before leaving the mine at the end. In any case, now's when the key we found in the dead medic's pocket will be of use: We turn around so that we are facing the elevator's entrance, unlock the safety gates, and close them. This also helps our later escape, given the elevator wouldn't want to move with the safety gates open.

    [​IMG]

    The first time we try to talk with her, then, she tells us she's not over yet. We wait for a bit and then talk with her again, and this time...

    Whatever. Now we speak with the guy.

    [​IMG]

    Who do you think you are, again?

    Retard.

    This is just great, I'm trapped in a godforsaken mine full of mutant monsters with the bleeping Tau! Make him the second place in my list of people I would love to kick out the elevator once we are ready to leave.

    Retard.

    That's really interesting, but...

    Thank you! I'm sure this advise will be of great use now that only a handful of monsters are left alive on the mining complex, yay!

    I'm ahead of you on that one, too. Meh.

    Retard.

    The conversation ends here and I leave, but encounter a new mutant before I go too far. Upon burning it I notice my flamer is now empty, so I run to the generator to recharge it. Before long, however, the fuel stops flowing from the generator, and we have managed to get just a couple of charges on our improvised flamer. Since we are here we go back to the prison to check on the electrician and the soldier. The former is still unconscious, and to the later I start giving him all the stuffies he wanted, this way I discover not only are the gas masks useless in their current state but also that the drill we found is devoid of any fuel. Lucky for us we have one last molotov cocktail to fuel it with, and with that all the fuel on the mine is gone.

    Then I run back to the professor, for I remember I have to ask him about the antidote for the electrician guy.

    I really want to kill him.

    Now, I was confused for a little while. I tried improvising some filters for the mask using my handkerchiefs but the game informed me the handkerchiefs alone would not be enough to make a filter. So I went through most of the mine again, killed a single mutant I did encounter near the room where the chief monster is, etc. After a while I decided to check on Uncle Boris and ask him for help.

    [​IMG]

    Don't say. :roll:

    And that's it. Do I look like bloody McGyver, Uncle? I'm a witch, not a bloody chemist! I don't have the slightest idea of what the bleep I can use as a filtering agent! HALP!

    I go back to wander around, hunting pixels. After exploring the entirety of the mining complex twice or thrice I did remember, just vaguely, something about a piece of coal, so I went through the entire complex again while looking really carefully to the floor. Finding nothing I decide to do the same once more but now stoping at each tile to look at the walls for a vein of coal or whatever it is chunks of coal grow from. After another half an hour or so I notice a single wooden prop on a corridor is kind of a darkeish color, so I examine it closely. Then I notice I can scrape it twice to get two pieces of coal.

    [​IMG]

    Note to self: Coal is born from burnt wooden props, or something. I try them on the handkerchiefs and, voila, a makeshift filter! And no, don't ask me why this works. My understanding of the filtering qualities of charcoal is non existant, but alright, you learn something new every day and all that. We use both makeshift filters on two gas masks and go give one of them to soldier guy. He's now ready for business.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    We go to the entrance of the room where the chief mutant lies in wait. Any step beyond that one will make us be enthralled by the monter's sight and walk up to him, where he will start attacking us until he kills us with either his poison breath, his tentacle attack, or his tongue attack. For this we wear both the second gas mask we fitted with an improvised filter and the second protective suit. Then, we will need also need something to break the power the beast's hypnotic eyes have over us. Remember the iron bar we found on the cart? We use it, to make it our weapon of choice for this fight. Then we step forward.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Soldier Guy tells me he needs to place a charge in every wall to ensure total destruction of the lair. That's going to be problematic as long as we can't move, but in any case we can't move until we get killed once to satisfy Fair Codexia's morbidity.

    [​IMG]

    Yikes. Now we reload, and again come to face the evil monster. This time, however, instead of waiting we enter combat mode and...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Take that, vile servant of iniquity and, uhm, dark stuffies! Freed of the power of his gaze we can move around the chamber freely. It is a 2x3 chamber, so taking away the tile his, uhm, throne occupies and the tile where the main shaft connects with the chamber there are eight wall tiles we need to go and face. Each time we do so, Soldier Guy quickly drills a small hole and puts a dynamite stick on it.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    He gives me the detonator, then we run back to where the professor is. I tell him I have set the explosives and ask for the antidote, which he gives me but not before telling me not to leave until after we have activated the detonator. He's soooo staying.

    I run back to the electrician guy and give him the antidote.

    [​IMG]

    He then takes a seat on a corner. We run back to the elevator and he fixes the damaged controls in an instant. I close once again the safety gate, get prepared to activate the elevator, then activate the detonator and, quickly, flick the elevator's lever.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    After a small ride we return to the surface. And, really, there is no way this brother was the seventh and the victorian one the eighth, look at that truck! After a small light show we are back at the museum, and again the bald pervert comes to congratulate us and to try shoving us into the next waxwork. We run away from him and prepare, in our own terms, to enter it.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    So that's it, ladies and gentlemen. Next time we will face the last waxwork and, maybe, the witch! Otherwise, the witch will be left as a small posterior update, but in any case we are almost there. And, given I forgot to take pictures of the chief mutant's tongue attack, though you can see that one on the waxwork itself, after saving I went back to the start of the mine to get you a small bonus!

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    I thank The Lord this game isn't Japanese. I don't want to imagine what would have happened just now otherwise. Problem is, I already did. Ewww. Do not want. :?



    Unto other things...

    Yes, totally. The iron bar on the graveyard, the coals on the mine, and the holes in the dark shaft's walls are all of the kind of absolute unfairness you no longer see in modern games.

    Part of me goes :incline: and part of me goes :decline: about it.

    And thank you about the awesome LP part. :3

    Of course not! Some maladjusted individuals may do that, but there are also the friendly neighbourhood tentacle monsters! I mean, and this is just between you and me, but both over there and among western weaboos the tentacle monsters are a fetish, yes? Thing is, they are an unisex fetish. See? Friendly neighbourhood tentacle monster, indeed!

    I hope you haven't lost too many sanity points due to the revelation.

    It's not about the bust, though the fact all the girls are drawn by Hentai artists and it shows kind of puts me in a bad mood. It's about I can't watch even the opening without feeling dirty and offended. There's something about Highschool of the Dead that just tickles me off the wrong way. Must be the fact that the opening alone has more fanservice than many complete series, and it only goes worse once the opening ends and the chapter begins.



    @ Everyone else.

    Thank you for your comments and for keeping up with the LP.
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  19. Amateur Jazz Novice

    Amateur Jazz
    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2010
    Messages:
    7
  20. Crooked Bee Nyadmin

    Crooked Bee
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2010
    Messages:
    12,462
    Codex 2014 MCA Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    The use of items, tools, keys and other puzzlish stuff seems indeed to be very nicely designed in this game. Good stuff.

    :twisted:

    You're quite ... nitpicky, BC. :roll:

    But aren't witches actually sort of chemists, with all that potion-brewing business they're usually engaged in?

    Oh, and that professor guy is indeed highly irritating.
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  21. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    13,015
    Location:
    Insert clever insult here
    Yeah, the artist started out as a hentai-drawer, apparently plus I checked his other comic and, yes, all the ladies were super-endowed as well. But the fanservice goes too far, I admit - when you get pantyshots from frigging zombies. Still, the combination of realism and coolness and tits is irresistable :D

    A question though - was there any hints to use that coal, beside the cryptic "improve a filter"? And how big was the pixel? Not cool if the only way to find it, seriously, is to go pixel hunting like that.
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  22. anus_pounder Arcane

    anus_pounder
    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2010
    Messages:
    5,133
    Location:
    Gethsemane ✞
    Who do you play in the Ripper scenario. Is it a woman? Tell me its a woman. I want to see one disemboweled.
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  23. Fowyr Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Fowyr
    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2009
    Messages:
    3,459
    Afair, none. But this is common knowledge what activated carbon may be used as filter for many gases. Don't think what ordinary coal makes good air filter, though.

    Sadly, no.
    Show Spoiler
    You will see it.
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  24. Cenobyte Tacticular Staff

    Cenobyte
    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2010
    Messages:
    1,093
    Location:
    Japan
    Hehe, still showing all possible ways to die?
    Anyway, good updates as usual, I'm waiting for the last episode :)
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