Yahtzee does Torchlight

[Zeus]

Yatzhee may be overrated, but he's still the only mainstream reviewer who regularly criticizes big-name games.

Here's the problem: If you complement everyone, you complement no one, and vice versa.

People enjoy Yahtzee's reviews for the same reason they like Rifftrax: because it's fun to see someone cut down a big name title. You know he's going to be mercilessly cruel, just like you know Mike Nelson isn't going to give Star Trek (or even The Matrix) a fair shot.

Yahtzee's livelihood depends on saying mean, funny things about videogames, week in and week out. I enjoy his work, but I wouldn't disregard a game just because he says it's rubbish. That's what he has to say.

 

[bhlaab]

Why is Yahtzee's opinion on a game newsworthy? We are talking about a man who thinks the witcher interface is too complicated.

And a man who thinks Torchlight is too complicated apparently, holy shit. Clicking for each attack? I didn't know something so I had to read the manual? Fuck.

Wait didn't he spend the whole review saying it was too easy and not complicated enough

 

[Zeus]

Why is Yahtzee's opinion on a game newsworthy? We are talking about a man who thinks the witcher interface is too complicated.

And a man who thinks Torchlight is too complicated apparently, holy shit. Clicking for each attack? I didn't know something so I had to read the manual? Fuck.

Wait didn't he spend the whole review saying it was too easy and not complicated enough

From the review:

At one point I accidentally pressed the button that made the map fill the whole screen and actually had to wait for one of the loading screen hints to tell me how to get rid of it.

 

[Trash]

Yahtzee is what Skyway wants to be when he grows up.

 

[Melcar]

I can't believe you degenerates enjoy Yahtzee.

 

[Jaime Lannister]

Do they (buffering...) still use (buffering...) real player (buffering...) ?

If so (buffering...) then fu (buffering...) ck (buffering...) it (buffering...) .

the entire thing buffered in 3 seconds for me lol

get real internet

 

[Jasede]

Posting unironically to show how much I do/don't enjoy Yahtzee.

:goonpipe:

 

[racofer]

Yahtzee was fun on the first reviews, then he went the way of the skyway and bleh.

 

[Jaime Lannister]

Posting unironically to show how much I do/don't enjoy Yahtzee.

:goonpipe:

what are you gonna do for post #10000

 

[Berekän]

Skyway is what Yahtzee wants to be when he grows up.

 

[Gragt]

Skyway is still fun.

 

[DemonKing]

Check out Yahtzee's latest project in my home town...classy!

http://www.manabar.com.au/

I predict...Epic Fail.

There will be less chicks in that bar than notorious gay hangout The Beat just up the road.

http://www.thebeatmegaclub.com.au

 

[Gragt]

HAHAHA! Should have called it something like The Desperate Geek, The Pimplish Virgin, The Loser's Corner or maybe simply The Deferred Success.

Also the name of that gay bar should be changed to The Sodomite Barbarian.

 

[bhlaab]

emotional vampire the 56k king

 

[Mantiis]

Free drinks for the ladies might reduce the sausage fest. If there are no ladies there is no point.

 

[Melcar]

Too many dicks on the dance floor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-EN8dpAvBw

Fuck, that show was so awesome.

 

[Zomg]

He just has to make too many of these for ephemeral new releases that no one that over the age of 16 will ever play. In the beginning he had a canon that he judged from (like, Monkey Island, SS2, Silent Hill, probably more) but you can't redrag those corpses out for point-by-point comparison for your 129th same-format review and AFAIK he's never articulated any kind of critical theory. I just watched his criticism of Silent Hill 2 from last yea and it was incredibly flimsy and inarticulate for a game he's supposed to hold sacred.

 

[Shannow]

He pummels a game for having WoWish graffix, boring hack&slash gameplay, ridiculous pet-gameplay that just emphasies how much the underlying game-mechanics suck, no meaningful npc-interaction/schedule, lacking challenge and moronic map-generation/design... and you pussies bitch about him not knowing anything about RPGS, implying that TS is an RPG and a good one, not deserving of his criticism at that... Wow. *decline*

"You don't need to click, you can hold the mouse-button down. LOL, moran."
As if that was better gameplay...

I think I'll join the decline-crowd now.
Next on the codex to-do list: Rip on Yahtzee when he criticises MEh2 for being a boring shooter and ridiculous binary "choices". (Not that I think he'll do that, but if he did...)

*decline*

 

[Azrael the cat]

He just has to make too many of these for ephemeral new releases that no one that over the age of 16 will ever play. In the beginning he had a canon that he judged from (like, Monkey Island, SS2, Silent Hill, probably more) but you can't redrag those corpses out for point-by-point comparison for your 129th same-format review and AFAIK he's never articulated any kind of critical theory. I just watched his criticism of Silent Hill 2 from last yea and it was incredibly flimsy and inarticulate for a game he's supposed to hold sacred.

This. It's kind of what I meant by saying that he reminds of friends that stopped gaming in the early 90s (and did a large chunk of their gaming in the late 80s). I trust him to review point+click adventure games, 1st-gen-style platformers and so on. But he really is out of his depth now - I'm sure he continues to play games all the time as a reviewer, but the games that he enjoyed as a 'gamer' have long since disappeared or evolved or devolved. The genres I'm talking about are BEFORE the golden-age rpgs that most of the Codex likes. It's one thing criticising ME by comparing it to Deus Ex, or criticisng Dragon Age by comparing it to FO or PS:T. It's another thing entirely trying to criticise ME when your arsenal is Maniac Mansion, Monkey Island, Wonderboy and Silent Hill - sure, you might have played SS2 and PS:T and appreciated them, but they aren't the stuff that you grew up on and are passionate about.

Hence he returns to the same old lines and comparisons and rips. It's like comparing, say, your father writing off modern prog-rock because the Mars Volta doesn't stand up to Pink Floyd, vs your grandfather writing off modern prog-rock because he can't find a radio station that plays jazz on it anymore.

 

[poocolator]

With enough lube anything can be entertaining

Codex Hero

 

[Trash]

Check out Yahtzee's latest project in my home town...classy!

http://www.manabar.com.au/

I predict...Epic Fail.

There will be less chicks in that bar than notorious gay hangout The Beat just up the road.

http://www.thebeatmegaclub.com.au

That's not a bar. That's an arcade.

 

[Angthoron]

He pummels a game for having WoWish graffix, boring hack&slash gameplay, ridiculous pet-gameplay that just emphasies how much the underlying game-mechanics suck, no meaningful npc-interaction/schedule, lacking challenge and moronic map-generation/design... and you pussies bitch about him not knowing anything about RPGS, implying that TS is an RPG and a good one, not deserving of his criticism at that... Wow. *decline*

"You don't need to click, you can hold the mouse-button down. LOL, moran."
As if that was better gameplay...

I think I'll join the decline-crowd now.
Next on the codex to-do list: Rip on Yahtzee when he criticises MEh2 for being a boring shooter and ridiculous binary "choices". (Not that I think he'll do that, but if he did...)

*decline*

This. By no means a fan of Yahtzee, this was the first I've watched it in several months, but I kind of fail to see the whole "whoa, let's bitch" business going on. So clicking something to death is a good mechanic? Mouse-killer games, we like them? How about combat that's apparently too easy for a mainstream reviewer that allegedly hates RPGs on hardest setting with squishiest class? The brain-dead AI complaints, are they not valid? Talk about double standards.

Oh, and WoW and Oblivion were mentioned exactly on the account of clicking shit to death. Yeah, technically speaking, this is the norm of the genre. But just like Fate, the whole click click click business becomes real fucking tedious unless played in a "casual" fashion.

Also, his Dragon Age review was pretty good, I was expecting it to be more positive but pretty much up til the end he uses Codex-grade complaints like "Dark Fantasy, my ass", "Typical Bioware plot - you played one, you played all" and so on. The ending is a bit weak, but then again, first 25 hours of Dragon Age are still actually entertaining.

 

[Emotional Vampire]

buffering? whazzat? my internet has a big number next to it.

 

[kingcomrade]

 

[Zeus]

How about combat that's apparently too easy for a mainstream reviewer that allegedly hates RPGs on hardest setting with squishiest class?

Hard isn't the hardest setting; Very Hard is.

Normal is notoriously easy. ("Even newbies will have little trouble with Normal mode. " -1UP)

And if Very Hard is still not enough, there's a hardcore (iron man) mode. Die one time and it's game over, just like the NES days.

buffering? whazzat? my internet has a big number next to it.

Haha, how long'd take you to upload that, five minutes?