By consuming large amounts of pork, alcohol and wiping my ass with the koran. Here are some mudslime facts:
Q: What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?
A: Bisexual.
Q: How do Muslims practice safe sex?
A: They mark the camels that kick.
Q: What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.
Q: What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?
A: A pimp.
Q: whats the difference between a truck full of dead Muslim babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
A: The bowling bowls are hard to pick up with a pitchfork.
Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.
Q: What's the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter?
A: Suppressing the erection.
Q: How can you tell if a Muslim girl is old enough to marry?
A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down until her chin is over the top.
Q: What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
A: At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.
A Muslim walks into his local mosque with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about, Abdul?" Asks the Imam.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies Abdul. "I live by the railroad tracks and on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the rails, like in the American movies. I cut her free and took her back to my humble abode. Allah be praised - we made love all night, all around the tent. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position permitted by Mohammed, Peace Be Upon Him!"
"By the most Merciful," exclaimed the Imam, "you have been blessed. Was she as beautiful as a desert flower?"
Abdul grimaced, "By the Jinn, I do not know - I never found her head."
Q: What's the difference between ET and Muslims?
A: ET got the point and went home.
Q: Why are there only 2 pallbearers at a Muslim funeral?
A: There's only 2 handles on a garbage can.
Q: What do you say to a Pakistani at Christmas?
A: A quart of milk, a loaf of bread and a pack of Marlboros please.
Q: When's the only time you should wink at a Muslim?
A: When aiming.
Happy birthday Mohammed!