Squeenix Spoony plays Final Fantasy XIII

[Machocruz]

I'm working on my own FF story.

It takes place on a world called Negrodamus, which takes the shape of a sequined Chocobo skull during every other change in phase of its 10 moons. The people wear metal suspenders with no pants. Negrodamus is ruled by Chamberpot, a kritarchic government. The main character is named Epic -because why not take it all the way- a 13 year old, melon-haired former soldier who joins up with resistance group Il Devo to stop a terrorist cell known as Le Zeni-max from acquiring the genetic key code necessary to access Fugazi-CB4, the rhomboidal planetoid made of living grass that is rumored to house the souls of The Five Altoidian Elder God-Slaves that were believed to have shed their material form and abandoned mankind 3000 years ago. In the wrong hands, the power of these souls could be used to unleash Declinu on the world and render their wielder all-powerful. Epic and Il Devo are hunted by the Radio-Ga-Ga Guarde, the imperial security force of Chamberpot, for subversive acts committed by a third faction, El'Goatse, and falsely attributed to the rebel group. But the head Judj of Chamberpot, Sargento Maytag, really wishes to neutralize the opposing factions, and opposition within his own government, and claim the power of the God-Slaves for himself and bring about Judjment Day, a cataclysmic event that would bring the world into an era of eternal butthurt 7 times the normal level, and where Sargento Maytag would rule as Gran Moderator Sargento Maytag-Codex.

Fantasy, man. It's about imagination and stuff.

 

[SausageInYourFace]

I don't really care that much about minor stuff like Snow punching a Robot in the face with his fists. Its FF after all. But the whole deal with the evil god and how they try to kill him even though that seems to be exactly what he wants. So he can destroy the world. For whatever reason. Which he could do anyway? I don't know, it seems like a total mess. Well, I guess it might be better to try and play FF6 again then. I never finished it despite trying twice. Thanks for the input.

So, the guy responsible for this game is a massive weirdo who has the power and resources to create huge AAA games simply in order to be able to fantasize better about his waifu? He seems to be living the dream. That stuff is really fascinating, any more real infos on that?

 

[Infinitron]

PART SIX: http://spoonyexperiment.com/game-reviews/final-fantasy-xiii-part-6/



Spoony's site got a new design!

 

[felipepepe]

Heh, I liked the irony at the ending.... "Hey Spoony, you think FF sucks, but just look at yourself bro!"

People keep saying the battle system is good, I'm not seeing it.

The idead behind it is that they wanted the turn-based to be fast-paced, so instead of micro-managing every attack everyone will cast every turn, you are a level above, controlling what they can do and cast. As Spoony said, is more about coaching a football match than playing one (althought you still control one of the characters). And it works well in some boss and tough enemies fights, but I agree that is boring and auto-play for trash mobs. They didn't give it the depth necessary, and most fights play by thenselves.

FF XIII-2 executes it way better, by allowing you to swap the third party member for captured monters (each has unique skills and stats) and by offering more demanding battles while making trash fights optional.

 

[SausageInYourFace]

I agree that is boring and auto-play for trash mobs.

Without having played it, I would imagine that an uncomplicated auto-play for trash mobs would actually help to keep the tediousness low, since you could blast through most of the random encounters without much of a hassle?

 

[felipepepe]

FF XII is like that, with combat encounter happening without changing screens or anything, and the other party members AI being controlled by priorities you set up. It was a great system.

FF XIII doesn't work like that... most trash fight are mandatory, and there's a separate battle screen for them, with results and everything. And since the game is so linear, the devs alway know what Level you are, so the combat is always "to your level", hard enough that you have to look at what you're doing, but not challenging enough for you to really care. Also, since you attack a lot per turn, enemies have tons of HP...

 

[Rahdulan]

What I liked in FF12 combat-wise was that Gambits and subsequent automation they introduced were entirely up to you and you could completely ignore them while manually inputting every command. It's why I never understood the IT PLAYS ITSELF complaint that people like to throw around about the game. Yeah, it plays itself... if you configure Gambits properly and actually want it to play itself.

And yeah, just watching the last part reminded what a horrible ending FF13 has. Sweet Jesus. Heroes don't need plans, indeed.

 

[Jasede]

I'd love a Square-Enix / Obsidian production, but that's a pipe dream.

I personally believe that Square-Enix makes incredible visuals. I rented FFXIII for like 30 minutes (then I had enough) but the visuals were outstanding, and it had been out for a long time then. It really is beautiful.



Being able to suplex a train is more awesome than ridiculous.

 

[Zeriel]

That's honestly just asian art for you. Most korean MMOs for example look 10 years ahead of anything at a similar tech level in the West--has nothing to do with technical know-how, is just better artists (or more of a focus on aesthetics, whichever you prefer).

 

[Delterius]

So, is the story really as horrible and nonsensical as Spoony makes it out to be? I haven't played a JRPG in ages and thought about picking one up again, just to spice my gaming up a little. But the way Spoony describes the story, it really seems like a complete disaster. He has a tendency to exaggerate though.. so, should I give it a try?

Couple of things:

1) Anyone who can't figure out what phrases like L'Ciel, Fal'Cie and etc means just from context of word usage alone is a moron. It really isn't that confusing at all, but I guess this is par for the course.

2) SpoonyOne seems to be intentionally not suspending any disbelief at all for the storyline, leading to 10 minutes rant on how it's retarded to have Snow fist fight robots, but when Sabin suplexes a train it's okay.

I think there's a reason why people keep saying that the game gets good X.10 amount of hours into it. One of the things that finally happen is the construction of a long overdue context. That seems to be the reviewers' actual complaint. Far too much of the game's story is left for either data logs or to be understood only after 40 hours into the story.

Furthermore, the issue obviously isn't that Snow is an improbable character. Rather that he's 'just a dude with a trench coat'. Sabin, as with most of that games' cast is supernatural in some way. Though, naturally, the example of the Ghost Train is most egregious less because of Sabin himself but rather because its a battle where the characters are trying to outrun a fucking train, through his tracks. So let's not lose our focus.

 

[Gozma]

I feel like the "incredible visuals" are part of the problem, and not just in the usual budget way. Like every single character in the game is attempting to be a striking visual design in the comic book way where their hair, costume, accessories, etc are all just so, like they're sculptures. And all in a completely "context free" way again like superhero costumes go - they have to look cool/cute/interesting completely in a vacuum, before you know anything about the facts of the character. If the visual designs fail to instantly entrance you, you will never be able to give a shit about the game.

 

[Delterius]

For the most part, people like the visuals. And even the art direction. Its often outrageous, true, (See: FF X), but it is beautiful nonetheless. See the vid I posted on the last page: the sad dissident fan of Final Fantasy from yore always finds that the visuals are stunning and that they promise a lot, but that a lot more was lost over time.

If anything, stunning visuals are sort of expected. Graphical excellence has been a Square trademark ever since FF VII and to see what the next gen Final Fantasy will be able to do used to be a big part of a console kids' childhood. The issue here, I think, is that Square sort of became dependent on that. The investment they make on art is insane, whereas they don't give as much thought on other areas. Which is why they keep the same focus as before, they give little thought in making games for an older demographic (which is characteristic of the 'man children' of the West) or in improving their battle systems with actual tactic/strategy experts. Instead, the battle system's focus is the same as the art direction, cinematics.

 

[Mrowak]

What I liked in FF12 combat-wise was that Gambits and subsequent automation they introduced were entirely up to you and you could completely ignore them while manually inputting every command. It's why I never understood the IT PLAYS ITSELF complaint that people like to throw around about the game. Yeah, it plays itself... if you configure Gambits properly and actually want it to play itself.

And yeah, just watching the last part reminded what a horrible ending FF13 has. Sweet Jesus. Heroes don't need plans, indeed.

Yeah, never understood the complaint about the combat system in FFXII either - neat, straightforward and flexible as hell. Actually due to its complexity the devs could design (and did design) much more challenging encounters. Gambits made things easier, but only because fights could go awfully awry - they helped you managing stuff qhwn you could not do that on your own.

I'd love a Square-Enix / Obsidian production, but that's a pipe dream.

I personally believe that Square-Enix makes incredible visuals. I rented FFXIII for like 30 minutes (then I had enough) but the visuals were outstanding, and it had been out for a long time then. It really is beautiful.



Being able to suplex a train is more awesome than ridiculous.

I guess we all love "the ridiculous" factor inherent in Japanese creations, especially if accompanied with top-notch presentation. Unfortunately the place FF XIII fails is the very foundation of presentation - coherence. Even the most robust, imaginative CGI means nothing when you characters, their motivations, and their actions are completely misaligned. So yeah, we have some pretty colors and explosions and what beside that? A waste of time.

 

[felipepepe]

I think there's a reason why people keep saying that the game gets good X.10 amount of hours into it. One of the things that finally happen is the construction of a long overdue context. That seems to be the reviewers' actual complaint. Far too much of the game's story is left for either data logs or to be understood only after 40 hours into the story.

I think it gets good when you are FINALLY allowed to customized your party, both in members and in classes. a.k.a. fucking play the game. Is mindblowing how much this game holds your hand... your still getting tutorial screens 40 hours into the game, not because of some new and complex mechanic, but because the game threw you a slightly curved ball and it's now afraid it might be too much for you.

 

[Machocruz]

13 has horrible art direction, imo. Completely random and undisciplined. Anyone can smash a bunch of shapes together that serve no discernible function. FFXIV has exotic locales, but they look like livable spaces. If you want crazy, outrageous fantasy design, Jean "Moebius" Giraud's stuff is infinitely superior. He was even better at infusing asian flavor into fantasy, judging by his unused designs for Willow.

10 and 13 have nice color compared to the norm, which is what the Japanese are absolutely good at. I don't know which game is more offensive though. Wakka is one of the worst character designs in the series, maybe ever, with Seymour not far behind. Both games are guilty of architectural atrocity and fashion mag posturing. They ruined Lulu, an other wise interesting take on the Black Mage, with that random strap mess below her waste. Lightning is usual Nomura try-hard, and not convincing at all in her role. See the difference with Sabin suplexing a train is that he is designed according to a strongman archetypoe; not strong enough to suplex a train of course, but form follows function at least. But Snow is just a jack ass in a coat, nothing about him says "bruiser" or "heavy hitter," and he doesn't appear to be channeling any metaphysical power either. And Lightning is a string bean with weak legs who I'm supposed to buy as some expert melee combatant who can cut down squads of soldiers and giant war machines alike. SMH. Yoshitaka Amano absolutely owns the current designers at SE. You don't see Terra or Celes strong-arming soldiers, or Locke hip-tossing Behemoths.

 

[Grunker]

PART SIX: http://spoonyexperiment.com/game-reviews/final-fantasy-xiii-part-6/

Spoony's site got a new design!

So he redesigns his website alongside him being less active in terms of actual content than he's ever been (barring 2012 I guess). That's... bizarre.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Probably setting up for a more active period, I guess?

 

[Grunker]

would be cool

 

[Rahdulan]

PART SIX: http://spoonyexperiment.com/game-reviews/final-fantasy-xiii-part-6/

Spoony's site got a new design!

So he redesigns his website alongside him being less active in terms of actual content than he's ever been (barring 2012 I guess). That's... bizarre.

I assume he paid someone to do it. Also, ever-present PNG image for no real reason. Great.

10 and 13 have nice color compared to the norm, which is what the Japanese are absolutely good at. I don't know which game is more offensive though. Wakka is one of the worst character designs in the series, maybe ever, with Seymour not far behind. Both games are guilty of architectural atrocity and fashion mag posturing. They ruined Lulu, an other wise interesting take on the Black Mage, with that random strap mess below her waste. Lightning is usual Nomura try-hard, and not convincing at all in her role. See the difference with Sabin suplexing a train is that he is designed according to a strongman archetypoe; not strong enough to suplex a train of course, but form follows function at least. But Snow is just a jack ass in a coat, nothing about him says "bruiser" or "heavy hitter," and he doesn't appear to be channeling any metaphysical power either. And Lightning is a string bean with weak legs who I'm supposed to buy as some expert melee combatant who can cut down squads of soldiers and giant war machines alike. SMH. Yoshitaka Amano absolutely owns the current designers at SE. You don't see Terra or Celes strong-arming soldiers, or Locke hip-tossing Behemoths.

Meanwhile in Ivalice. Which reminds me, what is Spoony's opinion on it?

It really makes me wonder if SE has pathological hatred for the setting and always keeps underplaying it for some reason. Yeah, you have this great setting fleshed out over different time periods and what do you do with it? Nothing, you don't even use it for an MMO which would be a prime opportunity to bring Ivalice to life.

 

[Delterius]

His stance towards FF XII is what you'd expect. Only thing I remember him stating about the game is the obvious protagonist stupidity.

 

[Horus]

 

[Valestein]

I like how nobody bothered with VIII, Lol.

 

[evdk]

I like how nobody bothered with VIII, Lol.

It's there, it just says "XIII." There's a Squall picture and the text references Time Compression and Sorceresses.