So... Dragon Age 2...

[Lagole Gon]

...that reminds me "Best Served Cold" quest in DAII.
You slaughter dozens of templars and mages because of... misunderstanding, I guess. When you approach their leader, Thrask - virtuous knight type of guy - he. doesn't. give. a. shit. NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Not a single word. Dude! I am literally covered in blood of your brethren! What the hell is wrong with you, you SICK FUCK?!

DAII gameplay is not only completely separated from the story. It constantly undermines it.

--- --- ---

what could have been somewhat interesting in better hands turns outright hilarious and awe-inspiringly stupid thanks to zombie mom.

Wait, you mean that was real? I have no doubts Bioware could be that bad at writing, but there was plenty of trolling at the time.

Video please?

Brilliant stuff


Possible inspiration

 

[Roguey]

...that reminds me "Best Served Cold" quest in DAII.
You slaughter dozens of templars and mages because of... misunderstanding, I guess. When you approach their leader, Thrask - virtuous knight type of guy - he. doesn't. give. a. shit. NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Not a single word. Dude! I am literally covered in blood of your brethren! What the hell is wrong with you, you SICK FUCK?!

Dialogue doesn't acknowledge any blood you may or may not be covered in because it's a cosmetic feature that can and should be turned off.

Also

Total beta.

 

[Lagole Gon]

...that reminds me "Best Served Cold" quest in DAII.
You slaughter dozens of templars and mages because of... misunderstanding, I guess. When you approach their leader, Thrask - virtuous knight type of guy - he. doesn't. give. a. shit. NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Not a single word. Dude! I am literally covered in blood of your brethren! What the hell is wrong with you, you SICK FUCK?!

Dialogue doesn't acknowledge any blood you may or may not be covered in because it's a cosmetic feature that can and should be turned off.

... uh... the blood itself is a minor issue. The thing is... it's blood of his trusted bros. And you have to kill them all. A small army. For no good reason. And he doesn't react.
I mean no offence, but... are you a sociopath?

 

[evdk]

...that reminds me "Best Served Cold" quest in DAII.
You slaughter dozens of templars and mages because of... misunderstanding, I guess. When you approach their leader, Thrask - virtuous knight type of guy - he. doesn't. give. a. shit. NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Not a single word. Dude! I am literally covered in blood of your brethren! What the hell is wrong with you, you SICK FUCK?!

Dialogue doesn't acknowledge any blood you may or may not be covered in because it's a cosmetic feature that can and should be turned off.

... uh... the blood itself is a minor issue. The thing is... it's blood of his trusted bros. And you have to kill them all. A small army. For no good reason. And he doesn't react.
I mean no offence, but... are you a sociopath?

It's just that Sawyer has no quotes about blood and bros.

 

[DraQ]

I disagree since I don't have autism.

Dialogue doesn't acknowledge any blood you may or may not be covered in because it's a cosmetic feature that can and should be turned off.

... uh... the blood itself is a minor issue. The thing is... it's blood of his trusted bros. And you have to kill them all. A small army. For no good reason. And he doesn't react.
I mean no offence, but... are you a sociopath?

Roguey , do you still have anything to say regarding autism and literal thinking?

Because I suggest you shut up.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

What does Josh Sawyer have to do with this discussion?

Roguey is Sawyer, you autists. He's trying to hint at that for like, months now.


FFS

Pronto, falei

Spoiler

rogueys_typical_friday_night.jpg

 

[Dreaad]

I agree the disconnection between the story and gameplay is largely a part of why this game is uh... largely frowned upon by the codex and many other communities. The other things you people are bashing DA2 over the head for is largely nonsense. Take for example how you say the humor is bad, really that's just down to perspective.

Regardless many of you don't enjoy humor that focuses on the structure of the rpg itself (which for those of you too slow to catch on, is exactly what the humor in DA2 is all about). In fact multiple times the game's writers manage to add in jokes about their own game because they know their product is incomplete i.e. repeating environments. The only thing really letting the jokes down at all was the animations/certain hideous textures (isabella's hands *shivers*). The game is certainly far funnier and far far FAR more mature than the terrible pile of #%@* jokes some of you insist on posting, desperate to show of your negligible skills with computers and humor...

 

[Tom Selleck]

The game is certainly far funnier and far far FAR more mature than the terrible pile of #%@* jokes some of you insist on posting

Incorrect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdCIR3rQBfU

 

[Dreaad]

What's wrong with a character living in a city next to a place called the wounded coast, making some light fun of it? If I lived next to the "wounded coast" I would also ask myself and those around me what the fuck is going on.... I'm sure you would be fine with it however tom.

 

[Tom Selleck]

There's nothing wrong with making light fun of it. Like, my drunk touchy uncle probably makes jokes like this when he visits national parks:

"Badlands National Park? Is there a Goodlands National Park? How about a Mediocre State Preserve?"

Before he buttfucks his nieces and nephews in a sodomvan.

The problem is that you said it was funny, while it is scientifically otherwise.

 

[Lagole Gon]

The game is certainly far funnier and far far FAR more mature than the terrible pile of #%@* jokes some of you insist on posting, desperate to show of your negligible skills with computers and humor...

 

[Dreaad]

Do you want me to personally defend every joke you guys post? I'm not going to do it... you can't make me!!!

 

[Dreaad]

There's nothing wrong with making light fun of it. Like, my drunk touchy uncle probably makes jokes like this when he visits national parks:

"Badlands National Park? Is there a Goodlands National Park? How about a Mediocre State Preserve?"

Before he buttfucks his nieces and nephews in a sodomvan.

The problem is that you said it was funny, while it is scientifically otherwise.

How can something be "scientifically" not funny is beyond me, you might have to explain that one to me. Also I hope you were not one of the unfortunates your uncle had his way with, my most sincerest sympathy.

 

[Roguey]

... uh... the blood itself is a minor issue. The thing is... it's blood of his trusted bros. And you have to kill them all. A small army. For no good reason. And he doesn't react.
I mean no offence, but... are you a sociopath?

His "trusted bros" were the ones who attacked you (because they believed you were on Meredith's side which could be true) and he apologizes for their doing so right there in that screenshot I posted.

 

[DeepOcean]

Brilliant stuff

I don't know in what university the good ex Bioware doctors studied, but I didn't knew head transplants were possible. They used the excuse of magic, but even with that, head transplants are way radical to explain with a simple "it was MAGIC" line from Anders. The dialogue with the mother head it is really Monty Python stuff. THAT dialogue, jesus... it is funny for all the wrong reasons.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

An excellent example of how unintentionally hilarious Dragon Age 2 is.

 

[Lagole Gon]

... uh... the blood itself is a minor issue. The thing is... it's blood of his trusted bros. And you have to kill them all. A small army. For no good reason. And he doesn't react.
I mean no offence, but... are you a sociopath?

His "trusted bros" were the ones who attacked you (because they believed you were on Meredith's side which could be true) and he apologizes for their doing so right there in that screenshot I posted.

Okay dude, I will play. Assuming that player is pro magic:
1. You've opposed templars entire game. You've opposed Meredith in public.
2. You still end up as her errand boy. The fact she's an obvious villain is not helping.
3. Mages and templars are teaming up together to fight Meredith. Finally! ... You can't join them of course, they think you are BFF with crazy bitch (despite 1.). Furthermore they kidnapped your sibiling/LI.
4. The only solution is to kill them all. Misunderstandings can happen, right? It's not like you can progress in cRPGs without killing anyone.
5. Since DAII cannot into small fight, you have to kill shitload of them. You turn them into chunks of meat and grotesque exposions of gore. Bathed in blood of your enemies, you can finally reach Thrask who's hanging out nearby. And he's like...
6. ..."I am sorry for any distress"
7. Everything ends up with some mages going crazy. It always ends up like this. Always. Magi leader lady is butthurt because... you saved her ass in the first act.

Now tell me this isn't fucking bizarre. I dare you.


Crazy, right? You know why? I'll tell you why. Because all combat encounters exist in another dimension.
Avelline goes ape shit crazy about some elves who killed a rapist, but she doesn't mind Hawke murdering 100 people per day.
Merrill cheerfully talks about cute stuff and rainbows 30 seconds after freezing/burning her whole clan alive. (srsly).
Hawke. A guy who kills 30 bandits when he's trying to cross a street is unable to stop one templar from taking away Bethany.

Some people will say: who gives a shit? Every cRPG does that! Maybe. I would argue DAII does it way more often and reaches new, completeley surreal levels of gameplay/story separation. And they don't even try to hide it.
DAII just can't get away with this shit. This is not a happy TSR adventure about kicking goblins and hoarding swords +3. It takes itself grrrrim, dark & seriously. It tries to create human drama (lol), family tragedies (lololol) and deep characters(lolololol). All these cutscenes, voice acting, facial animations and the result is just a creepy prosperian puppet show.

 

[Jick Magger]

Don't really understand how the game expects me to side with the mages when it constantly shows me that every single fucking mage in the game who manages to escape the circle is some variety of bloodthirsty psychopath. Even fucking Merrill, the innocent retard girl, is a fucking experienced blood mage who unwittingly made a deal to become a fucking daemonhost which can potentially lead to her entire clan being slaughtered.

And it's hard to take the game seriously as a story about Hawke's rise to power and prominence in Kirkwall because he just fucking fails at almost each and every task he sets out to do. He's too late to save his first sibling and his own actions lead to either the death or semi-exile of the other; he's too late to save his mother; too late at several points to stop the rising tensions between Kirkwall-ians and the Quanari from boiling over; too late to save the splinter faction of pro-mage templars from falling apart due to internal strife (which is mainly caused because I had apparently wronged the mage in question despite compromising my own position and risking arrest and possible execution by letting her go AND taking several actions which led to even more mages managing to escape the Chantry, even further risking my own status and livelihood. So if anything, my involvement in the situation actually made it worse). Too late. Too late. Too fucking late. The few things he does succeed at basically only serve to upgrade his errand boy status, and are basically superfluous in the long run. Even when the game reaches its climax and finally has the opportunity to make you become more than the fucking worst errand boy in Kirkwall, the game instead falls flaccid and tells me to pick one of the two sides because there can't be a compromise because Anders says so. I honestly think that if the Hawke family had actually perished in their escape of Lothering, the main plot of the game would not of changed to any significant degree.

 

[pan]

... uh... the blood itself is a minor issue. The thing is... it's blood of his trusted bros. And you have to kill them all. A small army. For no good reason. And he doesn't react.
I mean no offence, but... are you a sociopath?

His "trusted bros" were the ones who attacked you (because they believed you were on Meredith's side which could be true) and he apologizes for their doing so right there in that screenshot I posted.

Okay dude, I will play. Assuming player is pro magic:
1. You've opposed templars entire game. You've opposed Meredith in public.
2. You still end up as her errand boy. The fact she's an obvious villain is not helping.
3. Mages and templars are teaming up together to fight Meredith. Finally! ... You can't join them of course, they think you are BFF with Meredith (despite 1.). Furthermore they kidnapped your sibiling/LI.
4. The only resolution is to kill them all. Misunderstandings can happen, right? It's not like you can progress in cRPGs without killing anyone.
5. Since DAII cannot into small fight, you have to kill shitload of them. You turn them into chunks of meat and grotesque exposions of gore. Bathed in blood of your enemies, you can finally reach Thrask who's hanging out nearby. And he's like...
6. ..."I am sorry for any distress"
7. Everything ends up with some mages going crazy. It always ends up like this. Always. Magi leader lady is butthurt because... you saved her ass in the first act.

Now tell me this isn't fucking bizarre. I dare you.


Crazy, right? You know why? I'll tell you why. Because all combat encounters exist in another dimension.
Avelline goes ape shit crazy about some elves who killed a rapist, but she doesn't mind Hawke murdering 100 people per day.
Merrill cheerfully talks about cute stuff and rainbows 30 seconds after freezing/burning her whole clan alive. (srsly).
Hawke. A guy who's killing 30 bandits when he's trying to cross a street is unable to stop one templar from taking away Bethany.

Some people will say: who gives a shit? Every cRPG does that! Maybe. I would argue DAII does it way more often and reaches new, completeley surreal levels of gameplay/story separation. And they don't even try to hide it.
DAII just can't get away with this shit. This is not a happy TSR adventure about kicking goblins and hoarding swords +3. It takes itself grrrrim, dark & seriously. It tries to create human drama (lol), family tragedies (lololol) and deep characters(lolololol). All these cutscenes, voice acting, facial animations and the result is just a creepy prosperian puppet show.

That's some pretty intimate knowledge of DA2 you have there. Did you play it seven times?

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Pretty sure he's just capable of remembering things.

 

[Lagole Gon]

That's some pretty intimate knowledge of DA2 you have there. Did you play it seven times?

I have some intimate knowledge about yo mama! Haw haw haw! : x: x: x

Also, no. One playthrough is more than enough.

 

[Dreaad]

It tries to create human drama (lol), family tragedies (lololol) and deep characters(lolololol). All these cutscenes, voice acting, facial animations and the result is just a creepy prosperian puppet show.

While its true that it DA2 doesn't do create all this drama as well as say a book or tv series. It tries and comes far closer than anything at all in recent memory. You do hit an amusing point in that the cut-scenes, voice acting (its actually fine, considering some of the lines these people have to deliver in full seriousness... think about it) and facial animations detract from the story because they do. This game's story would be far easier to swallow as well written text rather than voiced dialog. The reason for this is that its far easier to cover up things you don't like with your own imagination when you don't have much to work with. It's also much easier to enjoy a romance when someone elses idea of a hot partner isn't shoved down your personal critical eyes.

You have to remember that DA2 and in general all of Bioware's work attempts to appeal to anyone from 15-40 years old. That is not an easy thing to achieve, especially not in the serious drama department, someone who is 20 is going to have more or less a different opinion of what good drama is like, based on their life experiences and a whole bunch of completely un-plottable random personal whimsies. I am not saying it can't be done better, but they gave it a good shot with the time and pressure the team had (trying to cash in quickly on DA:O).

 

[tuluse]

While its true that it DA2 doesn't do create all this drama as well as say a book or tv series. It tries and comes far closer than anything at all in recent memory.

Even if I accept this assertion as fact (which I don't, there are Japanese games doing this better), what the argument boils down to is that a solid turd is better than a steaming bucket of diarrhea. While that might be true, I don't want either one for breakfast.

 

[Roguey]

2. You still end up as her errand boy. The fact she's an obvious villain is not helping.
3. Mages and templars are teaming up together to fight Meredith. Finally! ... You can't join them of course, they think you are BFF with crazy bitch (despite 1.). Furthermore they kidnapped your sibiling/LI.

I'm pretty sure it's Orsino who tells you to stop the rebellious templar/mages since he doesn't want the entire circle executed.

Avelline goes ape shit crazy about some elves who killed a rapist, but she doesn't mind Hawke murdering 100 people per day.

• Merrill: Why don't you arrest us, Aveline?
• Aveline: What?
• Merrill: We break the law. I'm pretty sure. There are laws for almost everything. You're not a bad guard, are you?
• Aveline: No!

(If on a friendship path with Merrill)

• Merrill: That's good. Is it because you're fond of Hawke? I kind of am.
• Aveline: How very nice for you. Keep it to yourself.
• Merrill: I'd rather keep it with her/him.

(If on a rivalry path with Merrill)

• Merrill: That's good. You look uncomfortable. Did I say something wrong again?
• Aveline: No, Merrill, that's fine.
• Merrill: Ah, maybe it's your shoes.

Merrill cheerfully talks about cute stuff and rainbows 30 seconds after freezing/burning her whole clan alive. (srsly).

Since she's Aerie in a new skin, how appropriate for her to be just as bipolar.

Hawke. A guy who kills 30 bandits when he's trying to cross a street is unable to stop one templar from taking away Bethany.

Can't be everywhere at once.

 

[Dreaad]

No one is forcing you to eat it... unless you are on a special diet