Vapourware Play-by-post: Anomalous Subsurface Environment (DCC RPG)

[ERYFKRAD]

will we need more bodies to throw?

Depends on how many the Moktar can throw per day.

 

[Llywelyn ap Gruffydd]

The Moktar picks things up, but he doesn't put them down very nicely.

 

[nikolokolus]

Chelmsfordshire is even worse than you thought it could be. Half of the dozen or so buildings look like they might fall in on themselves at any moment, and the local honky tonk, a dump across the square from where the rumble wagon unloaded, doesn't look very promising either. A weather-beaten sign hangs cock-eyed from a single chain, "The Muddy Cup" it proclaims in garish pink block letters on a dingy white shingle. The handful of farmers and goodwives loitering around the square look listlessly upon you, barely seeming to register your presence at all.

As you mill around the ramp at the back of the transport and take in the hot, dusty scene of despair around you, the grotesquely fat rumble wagon driver climbs out of his cockpit on the top-side of the sputtering, smoke-belching vehicle and stretches his arms high over his head. He takes a half-eaten cigar out of his mouth in fat sausage-like fingers and barks at you.

"Grab yer shit an' git. Ya'll aint gonna get paid unless you get your lazy arses to work. The client is supposed to be waiting for you somewhere 'round here."

He then heaves his bulk off the side of the wagon and waddles over to the town well and throws a bucket on a rope into the depths and starts turning the crank.

 

[Grimgravy]

Gathering their things they exit the wagon, look around, and think:
Harrah Toppenish: Ugh. What's this, then?
Meycar Oser: Ugh. Maybe there are worse places than a butcher shop.
Kraft: Where snacks?
Baroda Metamore: Ugh. This doesn't look too promising.

 

[Helly]

: Chelmsfordshire? Is this where the spa is? It'd explain the mud, but I can't see the sea! Are we there yet, master?

: Hahaha sure, sure, we're getting there. This is a great place to lay l- to start our trip! Do you smell this Myron? This is the smell of easy money! And ammonia. Well, could be worse. Pete, take our stuff and follow us. Now where is that client of ours? Conrad! Stop with that fucking goat already and follow us.

: Yes sir, I'm coming. :mutters: Enjoy that trip while you still can you fat fuck

: For crying out loud, can't a man rub his goat in peace in this world?

The group wait for the client to come, checking their surroundings and watching the other groups.

 

[Llywelyn ap Gruffydd]

Dyrak- Rarr, growl rarr!

Corin- I don't know Dyrak? I don't think they have matches around here. Oh look, a goat! I could make some delicious kebabs out of it.

Renard- Corin, I think we have an opportunity to make some money here. I don't know how yet, but I have a feeling.

Horace- This place looks terrible. I don't know if coming here was such a good idea. But, it gives me a chance to observe Dyrak for the book on Moktar I am writing.

 

[nikolokolus]

The rotund driver draws up the full water bucket and takes a long swig, before taking the bucket and up-ending it over his head. He wipes his fat stubbly face with the back of his hand and slicks back his hair and then ambles back over to the rumble wagon, and starts to heave himself up the built-in ladder rungs of the creaky-sounding overland cruiser. "Good luck. I'll be back in week when your tour is over."

With that, he disappears into the great steel beast, snaps his cockpit shut and the turbines begin to whine, kicking up a horrendous, choking cloud of dust.

As you stand around trying to clear your lungs and and get your bearings, you all turn your head toward the Muddy Cup. Two figures dressed in ragged, dirty lab-coats step into the street and lower their darkened goggles to shield their eyes against the harsh billowing dust. One of them points at your group and the two begin gesticulating at each other in an excited manner. One waves his hand over his head and whistles, he jogs toward you and kicks a wandering chicken out of his way.

"Hey!! Hey you! Are you Torg's contractors?"

 

[Llywelyn ap Gruffydd]

Dyrak-Rar, ruaaar.

Spoiler

I saw your note on page 1. Rolled 2d4+4.
: [2d4+4] = 6+4 = 10

 

[nikolokolus]

OOC

Hey tindrli I need you to re-roll your Moktar's HPs (2d4+2) Just realized I didn't catch this when I was posting stats

 

[ERYFKRAD]

The alchemist looked at the figures signalling towards them, and looked askance at his companions. The one he knew to be a former caravan guard regarded the approaching men with casual indifference, while the gunsmith looked on with some trepidation. The barber barely seemed interested in the proceeding.
"We might as well get moving, we have not the entire day." said the guard. The others murmured assent and moved ahead.

 

[Grimgravy]

As the other three look around uncertainly, the apprentice takes the lead. Might as well get them used to me being in charge, he thinks. "Yes, Torg and sons advertisement was quite persuasive."

 

[Llywelyn ap Gruffydd]

Corin steps forward- "My group is ready to go.

Renard steps up next to Corin. "So, what kind of money are we looking to make from this tour? I really hope it's going to be worth our time."

 

[Helly]

Prodigius goes forward.

: We're in too. I was told we'd get paid in advance, though.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

The barber seemed to come awake, and he walked forward. "Oi! Me and my mates are up for this too, dun't forget!"

 

[nikolokolus]

The two men look askance at each other in confusion. The first, a pudgy fellow with bright orange hair and and bad acne pipes up, "Phil, did that sallow cheeked-one just say 'paid'?" The other bespectacled fellow with a lean, undernourished and unwholesome look replies, "I think he did Lenny." The two pause for a long moment and the one called Lenny snorts. Phil chortles.

Lenny turns to the assemblage, "Ah, we don't pay you as such. Torg handles payment if our master Harvinius is happy with your work . . ." Phil interrupts, "You see, there's been a bit of a problem." He titters a nervous laugh. Lenny interjects, "Erm . . . ah . . . well, you see there has been new a wrinkle -- An adjustment to plans if you will." He smiles in a completely unconvincing manner.

Phil pipes in, "Well, the trouble is that Harvinius has been detained . . . Or put another way, he's been captured by a pack of brutes." Lenny continues, "I don't want to bore you with particulars, especially since you all look really eager to do some good, so what do you say to a slight change of plans? How about, instead of digging in the dirt for sixteen hours a day, instead you help us get Harvinius back? There's money in it for you."

The two men flash winsome smiles and nod their heads approvingly.

 

[Grimgravy]

The cheese maker perks up at pack of brutes. Sounds like sausages. "Snacks?"

 

[ERYFKRAD]

"Where should we start looking for this man?" asks the caravan guard.

 

[Helly]

Prodigius smirks a little and ask them about more details

: Ha, well, this isn't what I had in mind, but sure. What kind of money are we talking about?

: Wait, brutes? What do you mean, like bullies? 'Cause I know about those types, I was-

: Shuddup Myron you crying little scamp. Fellas, if fightin's abbot, d'ya have any weapons we can take?

 

[tindrli]

OOC

Hey tindrli I need you to re-roll your Moktar's HPs (2d4+2) Just realized I didn't catch this when I was posting stats

ok

Vrac's 0-level HPs [2d4+2] = 8+2 = 10

 

[nikolokolus]

The the orange-haired man calling himself Lenny raises his hands in a placatory manner, "One at a time, one at a time." He coughs, "Well the problem is that we're a bit lean in coinage ourselves at the moment, but there was this chest . . ." He flashes a toothy grin.

His compatriot Phil clears his throat, "Now, with us being men of Science!" (he practically shouts the word) "and Harvinius being an esteemed and tenured professor of antiquities and old stuff at the Academy of Elevated Thought, naturally you assume that we would be rivals, but not so! Yes, of course the temple and the Academy have had their differences in the past, but we were sent here to observe his diggings and oversee his progress in a spirit of cooperation. But as my companion noted, Harvinius was in possession of a great strong-box. No doubt full gold and gemstones and other precious things. If you were to liberate him from his captors, no doubt he'd look favorably upon Lenny and I and anyone else who helped him escape those vile Moktars."

Lenny kicks Phil in the shins and whispers loudly at him in Pig Latin, "Areful-kay ith-way the-ay oktar-may alk-tay." and points to the two Moktars standing a head above the rest of the rabble.

Phil smiles weakly, "Uhhh . . . present company excluded of course."

Lenny interjects, "As for the whereabouts of Harvinius, it's difficult to say. We were doing some site scouting a few miles away, when the Moktars befell our humble caravan. Phil and I were about 100 yards behind the procession taking samples when the attack came. Bravely, we took up a carefully selected position in the undergrowth to lay an ambush for any Moks that dared come our way. Unfortunately their charge never came. We craw . . . erm . . . emerged from our redoubt several hours later only to find Harvinius gone and a half-dozen dead interns scattered amongst the ruined wagons. It was at this point we decided to make a tactical retreat to Chelmsfordshire and re-evaluate our options. Praise be to Science! when we learned from the barkeep 1P-FR33 that you lot were coming out to join the expedition."

 

[Helly]

: So, y'all have no idea where they went to? Or how many of them they were? Guess we have to f-

: Who cares, man! Gold and gemstones! Gold! That we will of course bring back to their former owners. Of course.

: Oh no, here he goes again. We're done for.

 

[nikolokolus]

Lenny responds, "Well they couldn't have gotten too far. Harvinius' strongbox must've weighed at least 20 stone . . . Harvinius too if we're being honest."

"So who's with us?!" He finishes cheerfully.

 

[Grimgravy]

Speaking for his group the Apprentice says: "We're in." Then under his breath: "It will be your hides if you cheat us."

 

[Llywelyn ap Gruffydd]

Dyrak stares at the two men with hateful eyes, saying nothing.

Horace- "Science you say? I like science!"

Corin- "Well, if there is gold involved, I think we are in. Dyrak probably knows how to fight these guys? Right Dyrak?"

Dyrak-" Raar, grrr!"

Renard- "I think we can find this, Harvinius, and his strongbox."

 

[nikolokolus]

"Splendid!" chirps Phil.

"Brilliant!" quips Lenny.

With that, the two men begin walking briskly along the western road that leads out of Chelmsfordshire and into the foothills and piney woods surrounding it. After some debate, you vote and decide to follow. After about an hour of steady walking a wisp of black smoke appears over the treetops. As you round the corner, you come into view of a scene of carnage. At least a half-a-dozen bodies litter the ground and the smoking ruin of what used to be two wagons lies across the road. Phil and Lenny quicken their pace and jog toward the wreck.