Gameplay slideshow #1:
Easthaven
Gameplay slideshow #2:
Kuldahar Pass
I recommend watching on the 'fast' setting, or pausing and clicking through at your own pace using the big arrows on the side. It depends on how much interest you have in the thing.
This is screenshots of a BG NPC party played from the beginning up to Kuldahar Pass with no reloads. It wasn't too bad when I slowed down and utilized every party members' abilities. I've played this bunch up through the second tomb in Dale of Shadows. It got much easier once Ajantis gained a level and stopped getting killed in a single round of combat. Onward!
Here it is, you sick bastids: a goofy update.
*Cue “Three’s Company” theme song*
“Come and knock on our doooor”
“We’ve been waiting for youuu”
“Where the kisses are hers and hers and his, three’s company too…”
Three’s Company in Kuldahar!
Starring:
Ajantis as Jack!
Shar-Teel as Janet!
Branwen as Crissy!
Montaron as Mr. Roper.
Xzar as Mrs. Roper.
And introducing Michael Jackson as Larry.
: Hey there Crissy, those are some nice…um, uh, do I really have to read this out loud? There is no honor in it.
: Read the lines and play your character as written! This is a role-playing game, after all.
: Hey there Crissy. Those are some nice sweater puppies you’ve got. May I pet them?
: *snort* Dur-hur *snort* Jack you ist a naughty man! Keep der mitts off mein shvetter poopies.
: Yeah Jack, keep your hands off Crissy or I’ll chop them off myself!
: Woo-hooo! Uhn! *crotch grab* The way you make-uh me fee-eeel!
: I’m sorry Crissy. I don’t know what came over me. I’m not feeling like myself today.
: Yer got that right. We all know you’d rather be petting MY sweater puppies, eh queer-bo?
: Oh, Stanley, I’ll pet your sweater puppies any time. Or better yet, you can pet mi-ine!
: Blaargh! *vomits*
: Billie Jean, uh, is not my lo-ver! Uhn. Uh. *moon walks*
: Hey Crissy, you got any more of those magic feel good happy pills?
: Nein! Lay off mitt der happy pills, Larry, they vill make der heart shtop vorking.
: Awwww… *dangles a baby*
: Let us all go down to the Regal Beagle for a drink.
: I could use a drink. A really, really big drink.
: Jack, you silly boy. The Regal Beagle is in a far off land called California. Today we are in Kuldahar.
: Well, whatever the local watering hole is called around here, we need to go there. Now.
: What be Larry doing to that small boy?
: Larry! Stop that! You must follow the script precisely and that is not in the script!
: These are not actions of warrior born!
: By Helm, this blasphemy must stop! Xzar, I shall no longer participate in this mockery. And I shall put an end to this evil interloper right now!
: For once, I am in complete agreement with Mr. Goody-Two-Peckers.
: Ben, the two of us need look no moooore… *cries a single tear*
*The role of Larry the molester is now played by Garrick.*
: Hey! I resent that “molester” moniker.
*POOF*
: Gah! My head is filled with images of dancing zombies. Ugh! And a decidedly unpleasant memory of something unnatural being done to a chimpanzee. I can’t seem to remember anything else. What have you guys been doing? How did we get here, and where is ‘here’ anyway?
: What? You don’t recall Easthaven? You don’t remember the past five days of arduous adventure? We’ve traveled through the mountain pass to get here, Kuldahar.
: That sounds familiar, but I’m still drawing a blank.
: You fill him in, Xzar, since you seem to enjoy pointless yakety-yak.
: Thank you dear leader, for I do and I shall. Garrick, my dear boy, we began our journey a week ago in Easthaven. Although I would rather have burnt that pest-hole to the ground we were poor and in need of strengthening, so we did many small favors for the pathetic residents of that scab of a town. First we cleared the ale-house cellar of vermin, then we equipped ourselves and delivered a bottle of wine to the local sod.
: I still say that was a waste of a perfectly good bottle…
: Silence, girl! Xzar is talking now. We then agreed to find a missing caravan. We killed a dog in a warehouse and solved the mystery of the dreaming fisherman and the sea elf. I was particularly impressed with how you, dear Garrick, browbeat the hapless elf into giving us a handful of gems. We gave a boy a fish and killed some goblins who were threatening the town. We found the missing caravan and slaughtered the cave full of orcs who had captured it. After returning to town to receive our due accolades and rewards we set off with that lump Hrothgar to travel the mountain pass to get here. Alas, Hrothgar and his entire party were killed in an avalanche while we, miraculously, made our way to Kuldahar Pass with ne’er a scratch…
: Interesting, that. It’s almost as if it were…pre-ordained.
: …anyway, we exterminated a band of goblins and orcs near the millhouse in Kuldahar Pass. After that, we zoned into…er, I mean we arrived here in Kuldahar itself. Then the production of my latest play was rudely interrup…
: Okay, that is quite enough, and the less said about events since we arrived the better.
: Aw, you're no fun. The best part was coming up. Or coming apart, you might say.
: *snicker*
: You evil minded savages can tell him about it later. Right now we have business to attend. The archdruid Arundel has tasked us with investigating the Dale of Shadows. We shall go there and determine the cause of the strange happenings in this country.
: Oh Jack, you're always so serious! *bats eyes*
: Rraaagh!
*Freeze shot*
*Roll Credits*
Yeah, whatever...stupid old fart.
after "Larry's" death was noticeable. Go on!
