Most useless spells?

[Alex]

Alex, right. I wasn't being sarcastic. I meant, "Oh, I knew there had to be an actual in-game reason why someone would want to cast this spell. Traps, yeah, that makes sense."

As for attracting that army, by the time you're high enough level to cast this spell, you'd have Summon Nature's Ally 9, which is also a 9th level spell. So if your DM assumes that this 9th level spell would be roughly as powerful, you could get a couple of powerful temporary meat shields out of it.

Oh, ok, sorry. Completely misunderstood you.

About attracting an army, I always assumed that the attraction range was sensory. That is, as long as you can see the object or area (or can locate it using some other sense), you can be attracted. So I guess you could cast it on something big and easily seen. Maybe a castle? Or a huge flag? This isn't a very nice spell, though. The affected creatures will want to own the thing, even if they happen to be good. You could disppel the magic once the creatures are near, though.

 

[Zombra]

Wait, I just saw this.

]No, I meant that from the view of the players. Stuff like a magic wand that has a random chance of raising a whole cemetery as zombies or skeletons, or even a deck of many things. You might not want to use it yourself, but you don't want the DM to simply have an NPC steal the thing away from you and start causing trouble for the party.

Neither of those items are things PCs can buy, so if they show up in the game it's because you put them there. And they're such obviously bad ideas that there's no one to blame but yourself if you do. The deck of many things, in particular, has a reputation as being the DM's way of saying he's done with the campaign.

Are you saying that you just let players buy anything they want out of the DMG if they've racked up the gold to do so? Whether you approve or not?

 

[Night Goat]

If they're in a place where they can plausibly buy magic items, I don't see why I wouldn't approve of it unless it's something blatantly game-breaking.

 

[Kev Inkline]

Original Otyugh's Cry in Guild Wars 1:
(it's actually a shout, not a spell)

"All animals in the area become hostile to your target and gain +20 armor for 30 seconds. Otyugh's Cry cannot turn charmed animals against their masters or their master's allies. (50% chance of failure with Beast Mastery 4 or less.)"

Too bad there was very little neutral animals in the game to begin with.

 

[laclongquan]

Would someone please explain Affinity to me? 9th level druid spell that does this:



I don't know about you, but I can't imagine why a druid level 20+ would need to make someone want to hang out someplace.

Traps.

Or distraction. YOu want to draw off sentries so that your char can stealth through the previously heavily guarded invisibility-disabling entry. A story device. STILL, it's hamfisted. The sentries should realize the trap once it wore off and sound the alarm. STill, if you have to escort some squishy NPC through the area, and guarding them is a pain, this method may work.

 

[Ent]

wizards characters with touch range spells in any game.

 

[Matalarata]

wizards characters with touch range spells in any game.

You've got little experience with pnp, right? Some of the best spell have a range of touch. You can extend them via feat or via other support spells, if needed.
Or simply play as a warrior-mage or a thief-mage multiclass...
A sneaking vampiric touch can singlehandedly change the outcome of a fight.

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

No one has mentioned Goodberries?

Just read the whole thread and was wondering when someone would mention Druid spells for IWD1 vanilla. Goodberries are a good one, but the two that stick in my mind are:

Rainstorm
Casting time: 6
Duration: 2 rounds
Saving throw: R. halves
Affects: 30 foot radius. Outside only
Effect: all cold or fire based creatures take 2d3 magic damage each
round, all creatures in area have 50% chance of taking 2d6 electric damage,
which they can save against. Salamander auras and long term flame spells are
extinhuished.
This is a great spell whenever fighting cold or fire creatures outside,
especially salamanders. Otherwise has very limited use. Take none if inside for
a long time; take 1 or 2 during normal outside areas; 3+ when fighting cold or
fire based creatures outside.

and

Call lightning
Casting time: 1 round
Duration: 10 rounds/level
Saving throw: R. halves
Affects: 1 enemy every 10 rounds. Only works outside.
Effect: does 1d10 electric damage to an enemy seen by the caster
automatically.
A brilliant spell for outside. Take none when inside, up to 3 when outside.

Not because they're technically useless, but because you spend the vast majority of the game inside. The vast majority of creatures outside are either too early in the game to have the spells (unless perhaps soloing) or, and including, are going to be the more trashy combat anyway. On top of that, when you look into the mechanics of them, Rainfall doesn't last very long and has to do battle with all kinds of saves whereas the Call Lightning spell only triggers far too infrequently. And, no, the game has no Salamanders outside, but tons of them... inside.

 

[Matalarata]

In AD&D 2nd edition my favourite one is protection from cantrip. Cantrip is a very basic 1st level spell that is rarely memorized, much different from later editions level 0 spells. Mainly, it cannot harm, only hindrance a foe (it can pinch, cause you to scratch, tickle...). Iirc P. from cantrips is a 2nd level spell, but don't quote me on this

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

In AD&D 2nd edition my favourite one is protection from cantrip. Cantrip is a very basic 1st level spell that is rarely memorized, much different from later editions level 0 spells. Mainly, it cannot harm, only hindrance a foe (it can pinch, cause you to scratch, tickle...). Iirc P. from cantrips is a 2nd level spell, but don't quote me on this

Matalarata said on page 5 of this thread:

PnP AD&D 2nd edition has "protection from cantrip" which is a 2nd level spell (iirc) that protects vs the dumbest 1st level spell ever. Basically all cantrip can do is pinch you, smear you or "boo" you. It can't cause damage or make a caster lose concentration, altough I've seen great players use a cantrip as a nice "one trick pony", I still fail to see the usefulness of P.f.C.

 

[Gord]

Realms of Arkania Trilogy has been mentioned already, but it extends to the PnP setting as well (based on my rusty knowledge wich ends with 3rd ed.).

There's one spell that summons a tiny portion of an element which explicitly may not have any meaningful effect in the game.

You might maybe cool your drink or light your pipe or things like that, but nothing else. And to do so you only need 30s of intense concentration on your task.
All the while a proper elemental combat spell with potentially far greater effect does take ~2-3s to cast.

Or the class-based spell for summoning minor elemental spirits. You summon a spirit, it appears, but it may not do anything. It's just there for a while, then it vanishes again.
Well, ok, maybe some roleplaying application can be imagined for that one, but again the rules somewhat clearly state that it might not have much effect (other than probably impressing superstitious peasants).

 

[Matalarata]

Matalarata said on page 5 of this thread

Sorry, I went full retard in my defence, it's early morning here. Also that's proof I'm consistent in my judgement.

 

[Shadenuat]

There's one spell that summons a tiny portion of an element which explicitly may not have any meaningful effect in the game.

You might maybe cool your drink or light your pipe or things like that, but nothing else.

And somehow people playing pnp often love to have spells like that. I remember the orders players often gave me for spells - instead of fire arrow, one fire sorcerer wanted just a flame in his palm to change shape into various objects, because he thought that's what a low level sorcerer was expected to know and cast
I remember sorceress with blood of a succubus and her spells: Lust (basically Emotion: lust spell), Clayface (slight change in facial features), Sense Heartbeat (in small radius she could sense weak or strong creatures by their heartbeat), etc. although that had use. Dragon sorceress asked for changed Detect X spell: Detect Gold.

TBH, the spell selection you'd go for in PnP would always be radically difficult from what you'd go for in a CRPG. Things you could do in PnP with spells like Rust metal, Shape wood, Control X and others...

 

[Gord]

What struck me the most about the spell was not the small effect, it was the disproportionate effort it took to cast it.
Otherwise I agree that there's of course a big difference between the usefulnes of PnP spells and cRPG ones..

 

[Azrael the cat]

goodberries is pretty useful, it's like a permanent cure light wounds potion spell. My go to class in NWN/ ToEE is Druid, and there are very few stinker Druid spells until you get to the higher levels. Goodberries is nice, you can spontaneously cast it into a summon, or if you don't need it you can get a permanent berry before you camp.

You have to admit, even in BG2 Jaheira is pretty bad ass.

Sticks to Snakes (Cleric spell, not druid) is pretty cool if you are ROLE PLAYING a Setite or something.

As far as useless spells go, there *are* some awful spells in Arcanum. And in the original Wizardry. Since Wizardry is 80% combat, 15% mapping and 5% monty haul, I guess this topic is pertinent. The cleric harm spells (badios!) have always been lousy. Even in D&D, the Cause Light Wounds series of spells... probably for role playing purposes only...

Oh I should not forget Kadorto. The best cleric restore life spell in WIzardry... has a chance of permanently LOSING your character (LOST!). lolz. It turns out that Mages have the safest Revive spell in Haman/ Mahaman.

Oh yeah. Zilwan is pretty stinky too. Only good to cast on 1 creature in the entire game, who you only fight once.

Oh and the Mage level 2 spells in Wizardry. Dilto and Sopic... wow, an entire spell level of useless spells.

Kadorto ought to be very high on any list of both 'Most useless spells' and 'Most awesome spells'

It strikes just the right balance between 'this is a standard spell one would expect to have in any crpg' and 'FUCK!! FFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!'

(fake edit: reason for the downside is that they want to enforce the mechanic of having to go to the temple to revive, and having to use a backup party to fetch your corpses if you wipe.)

 

[an Administrator]

Sanctuary spell in Morrowind

 

[Dux]

It's probably already been mentioned but Goodberry from Baldur's Gate.

 

[DavidBVal]

WFRP 1st ed "petty magic" was awesome for flavor but notoriously useless. It was equivalent to D&D cantrips, but expected to be the only magic available for a caster character for several game sessions (Wizard Apprentice career could only cast these, and it could take long to move on to lvl 1 Wizard).

To make it worse, they even required odd reagents to be cast.

Protection from Rain
Spell Level Petty
Magic Points 1
Range Personal
Duration 1 hour
Ingredients: A miniature umbrella
This spell stops rain from falling on the caster. Even in the heaviest downpour the character remains perfectly dry. The effects last for 1 hour or until dispelled by the caster.


Zone Of Warmth
Spell Level Petty
Magic Points 1
Range Personal
Duration 1 hour
Ingredients A piece of animal fur
The Zone Of Warmth creates a 12-yard diameter Zone centered around the caster. The Zone lasts for an hour, until it is destroyed or until the caster moves. Within the Zone, temperature is raised by ten degrees centigrade.
While a character is maintaining a Zone, he or she may not cast any new magic or use Meditation skill to recover magic points. Two or more Zones may not overlap. If they should do so, then both Zones are instantly destroyed.


Repel Small Creature
Spell Level Petty
Magic Points 1
Range 12 yards
Duration Instantaneous
Ingredients A bone of the type of creature being repulsed
This spell will cause any one small creature (up to the size of a dog) to fear the caster. The spell only affects one specific creature; it does not cause all creatures of that type to fear the caster.

Now, the feeling of power after reaching Wizard Level 1 career and suddenly casting your first Fireball or Steal Mind, was incredible.

 

[Delterius]

Behold! The Staff of Protection from Rain!!

Spoiler

 

[Ent]

wizards characters with touch range spells in any game.

You've got little experience with pnp, right? Some of the best spell have a range of touch. You can extend them via feat or via other support spells, if needed.
Or simply play as a warrior-mage or a thief-mage multiclass...
A sneaking vampiric touch can singlehandedly change the outcome of a fight.

I really want to sit down and play some tabletop rpgs with my group of of idiots but our schedules always seem incompatible.

 

[Night Goat]

Here's one from Pathfinder:

Scoop
School evocation [force]; Level sorcerer/wizard 0
Casting Time 1 standard action
Components V, S
Range close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect 6 inch diameter container of force Duration concentration
Saving Throw none; Spell Resistance yes
You will a small vessel of force into existence. As a move action, you can direct the container up to 15 feet per round in any direction, though the spell ends if the distance between you and the container ever exceeds the spell's range. You can dip the container to pick up or drop a liquid as a move action. The vessel holds up to 1 pint of liquid or small objects, weighing up to 5 pounds. You can also gather up a pint of liquid or small objects spread cross a surface with 1 minute of careful concentration.

The following spells are different from your standard cantrips. They are rare cantrips. Spellcasters that gain access to all 0-level spells at 1st level do not gain access to rare cantrips. A spellcaster gains access to rare cantrips only by uncovering their secrets in some other way. Some are guarded by jealous mages, while others are lost in missing libraries or molder on forgotten scrolls.The following spells are different from your standard cantrips. They are rare cantrips. Spellcasters that gain access to all 0-level spells at 1st level do not gain access to rare cantrips. A spellcaster gains access to rare cantrips only by uncovering their secrets in some other way. Some are guarded by jealous mages, while others are lost in missing libraries or molder on forgotten scrolls.

What I love about this one is that the writer thinks it is so overwhelmingly powerful that DMs need to tightly control access to it. Though I guess a fun adventure would be seeking out a mysterious lost spell only to end up with this.

 

[Aholf Ditler]

Transforms you in scavenger no is very helpful in Gothic, Right Piranha?

 

[Average Manatee]

Here's one from Pathfinder:

Scoop
School evocation [force]; Level sorcerer/wizard 0
Casting Time 1 standard action
Components V, S
Range close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect 6 inch diameter container of force Duration concentration
Saving Throw none; Spell Resistance yes
You will a small vessel of force into existence. As a move action, you can direct the container up to 15 feet per round in any direction, though the spell ends if the distance between you and the container ever exceeds the spell's range. You can dip the container to pick up or drop a liquid as a move action. The vessel holds up to 1 pint of liquid or small objects, weighing up to 5 pounds. You can also gather up a pint of liquid or small objects spread cross a surface with 1 minute of careful concentration.

The following spells are different from your standard cantrips. They are rare cantrips. Spellcasters that gain access to all 0-level spells at 1st level do not gain access to rare cantrips. A spellcaster gains access to rare cantrips only by uncovering their secrets in some other way. Some are guarded by jealous mages, while others are lost in missing libraries or molder on forgotten scrolls.The following spells are different from your standard cantrips. They are rare cantrips. Spellcasters that gain access to all 0-level spells at 1st level do not gain access to rare cantrips. A spellcaster gains access to rare cantrips only by uncovering their secrets in some other way. Some are guarded by jealous mages, while others are lost in missing libraries or molder on forgotten scrolls.

What I love about this one is that the writer thinks it is so overwhelmingly powerful that DMs need to tightly control access to it. Though I guess a fun adventure would be seeking out a mysterious lost spell only to end up with this.

Well, this is a spell that:

- Lets you drink 16 potions at once (potions are an ounce, this holds a pint)
- As a move action (as opposed to a standard action).
- That won't draw AoOs.
- Can arguably be used on nearby allies as well if they are conscious.
- Going by the 5 lb weight limit, you could also drop 5 Alchemist's Fire at once. That's 5d6 direct fire damage (no save) + 5d6 per round + 6 AoE damage at level 1. Even if your DM doesn't feel like letting you break the game, you can probably drop grease on the ground or an invisibility/darkness oil on yourself.

Also lets you clean up spilled drinks. Imagine how your DM reacts when his big bad guy's immortality potion is smashed right before he drinks it and you calmly scoop it up for yourself. Massive plot opportunities!

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Transforms you in scavenger no is very helpful in Gothic, Right Piranha?

My hovercraft is full of eels.

 

[Azrael the cat]

If they're in a place where they can plausibly buy magic items, I don't see why I wouldn't approve of it unless it's something blatantly game-breaking.

Deck of Many things and similar items (wish-granting lamps, etc) can be used well, if the DM and gameworld treat them as what they are - crazy-bad things that no sane person should want unleashed. Have the campaign be to keep the Deck of Many Things out of the hands of the lunatic zealot who might start using it now that his cult-army has been defeated, and see whether the players have the sense to bury it via Raiders of the Lost Arc style 'Top. Men.'. If they use the item instead, it's their own fault. And they'll be punished appropriately, even without fudging the RNG, for the same reason that the quest-giving NPC wanted them to stop the lunatic zealot from getting hold of the item - because if they're dumb/crazy enough to use it once, they won't stop until they've used it once too many times.