Good News, Everyone!
Over the years, I’ve gotten quite a few requests from people for a book version of
my Mass Effect Retrospective. That sounds strange to me.
Haven’t you already read it? And can’t you read it anytime you like? But I don’t know. The heart wants what the heart wants.
I got an email this week suggesting that now might be a good time to do this, since
Mass Effect Remastered is coming out in a couple of months. This could essentially be a “remastered” version of the retrospective. You could get it as an e-book, or you could even murder a tree for one if that’s more your style.
So what “improvements” would this new version have?
- The new “no comments” design of books allows you to enjoy the work without the endless pestering of people who are wittier and better informed than the author. Corrections? Typo police? Not in this version! Read the book and pretend it’s 1994 again!
- Speaking of typos, there will will be allot fewer of thems! Google Docs is a lot better at find incorrect graham are these days and otto-correct is seven smarter about choosing the right worms.
- While we’re correcting things, we thought we’d correct some actual mistakes. Like that one post about orbital bombardment where I messed up my Wolfram Alpha inputs and was off by two orders of magnitude, which everyone thought was inexcusable except my one astrophysicist buddy who said it was “close enough”. Or the very next post where I muddled my point because I didn’t have a firm grip on the Asari religions before I started ranting. It’s like a retcon where I get to pretend I don’t make mistakes!
- The print version of the book exists as a physical object that can be foisted on other people! Yes, you can cause them to have a copy of the book… even if you don’t know their email! Haha. Now you’re holding a small object full of complaining! Take that, Mac Walters!
- More freedom! In the old boring blog version, you couldn’t give me money. This time you’ll have the option to pay for the book if you want.
- No DRM. BECAUSE WHY WOULD ANYONE PUT DRM ON A BOOK THAT WAS A BLOG THAT WAS AND IS STILL FREE? THIS IS NOT A RHETORICAL QUESTION, UBISOFT. I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT THE MECHANICS OF THIS PROBLEM BECAUSE YOU’VE CLEARLY NEVER EXAMINED THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS TECHNOLOGY BEFORE DESPITE YOUR FREQUENT RELIANCE ON IT. THERE ARE REAL ECONOMIC SYSTEMS INVOLVED IN THESE TRANSACTIONS AND YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THEIR IMPACT ON THE COST / BENEFIT CURVE. By the way, did you know that Watch Dogs Legion is already on the torrents? Just sayin’.
- Internet-free! Are you tired of needing an internet connection to read my wild-eyed rants? No? Oh, internet is pretty much a solved problem for you these days? You’ve pretty much got wifi everywhere you need it? Okay then. Good for you, I guess. Well, if that problem… somehow… becomes a problem again, then you can buy my book and enjoy it without the hassle of also listening to Spotify at the same time.
- New material! While proofing and formatting the posts into book chapters, I sometimes re-read the original text and got angry all over again and added a few more unhinged paragraphs of pointless assault on dead horses.
- Andromeda! Will be included. For some reason.
The planned release date is either just before or just after the remaster comes out.
I was very sick of Mass Effect by the time I finished with Andromeda. I didn’t think I’d ever want to come back to this material. But as I was painstakingly translating the book to the new format, I had to proof the stuff I was editing. And that means I had to read it. For the millionth time. But after taking a break from the franchise, I found some passages I thought were fun, interesting, or funny. As of this writing, I’m currently working on
Chapter #45, and I’m not quite sick of the process yet.
For the last few days, I thought the remaster came out on MARCH 14. So I’ve been doing super-crunch all-day shifts trying to get this done. Needless to say, the working conditions here are deplorable. I tried to unionize, but I could only get one signature in support. Besides, the last thing I need is a stupid Union telling me how to run my business.
Anyway, this morning I finally double-checked the release day and saw it was MAY 14. Not March. May. What can I say? They both start with M and remembering things is hard.
Anyway, I’m out of crunch mode now and I’m allowed to spend time with my family again. But there’s good news, too. I also have time to play more
Prodeus. Have you tried it? It’s pretty awesome.
So that’s the state of… whatever it is we do here. If you have suggestions for the ME Retrospective, then it’s best to make them sooner rather than later.
Have a good weekend.
EDIT: Some people are confused and think this is a joke. This is not a joke. This is a real thing. If it’s a bad idea, then it’s a bad idea I’m doing on purpose.