Game News Mass Effect Coming to an Extreme Theater Near You

[DefJam101]

coz female Shepard is the only way

 

[MetalCraze]

It would be based on the universe of Mass Effect. Not on the game itself. That is all.

Let me guess - it will be a movie about a bunch of space mari... uhm Spectres consisting of a Cool White Main Hero, A White Dumb Main Hero's Soon-to-be Female Lover, A Nigger That Will Die First, A "Oh Fuck This Shit I Will Find My Own Way Out" Guy who will die after the Nigger and A Random Chick With A Little Screentime who will also get killed fights the Ancient Alie... uhm robot race.

And the irony - that would've fitted Bioware game universe just fine

 

[sportforredneck]

Correct.

 

[inwoker]

Skyway, learn to use spoiler tag!!!

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

SPOILARZ

There's a plot twist.

 

[Grifman]

Doles anyone really enjoy those shitty superhero movies?

No one like ths shitty ones, they just like the good ones.

 

[sportforredneck]

SPOILARZ

There's a plot twist.

What was the plot twist in Mass Effect? I swear to god there wasn't one.

 

[Lesifoere]

SPOILARZ

There's a plot twist.

What was the plot twist in Mass Effect? I swear to god there wasn't one.

That's what I thought too, so I asked around. Apparently, the fact that Sovereign the evil ship is the real villain and Saren is a brainwashed slave was the plot twist.

No, really. That's it.

 

[sportforredneck]

That's what I thought too, so I asked around. Apparently, the fact that Sovereign the evil ship is the real villain and Saren is a brainwashed slave was the plot twist.

No, really. That's it.

That was a plot twist? That wasn't obvious from the get-go? Hell, they basically said all that stuff before the game was even released.

 

[thesheeep]

Yeah, well, I didn't know that before and IMHO it was far from obvious.
But I'd never call it a plot twist. It really makes no difference if you are following Saren because he is evil or because his ship is evil....

 

[Suchy]

Doles anyone really enjoy those shitty superhero movies?

No one like ths shitty ones, they just like the good ones.

The thing is - there aren't any good ones. The last Batman would be good, if only it didn't feature Batman. That character made the flick fucking ridiculous. Ffs a dude in bdsm mask with pointed ears trying to be a badass saviour of righteousness... :/

 

[sportforredneck]

You fail at suspension of disbelief. You can't ever watch a fiction film again.

 

[Suchy]

I managed to watch Bourne movies - that's where suspension of disbelief comes in handy. But Something-Man? It's as bad as any radnom anime.

 

[Fat Dragon]

It would be based on the universe of Mass Effect. Not on the game itself. That is all.

Let me guess - it will be a movie about a bunch of space mari... uhm Spectres consisting of a Cool White Main Hero, A White Dumb Main Hero's Soon-to-be Female Lover, A Nigger That Will Die First, A "Oh Fuck This Shit I Will Find My Own Way Out" Guy who will die after the Nigger and A Random Chick With A Little Screentime who will also get killed fights the Ancient Alie... uhm robot race.

Don't forget about the one every other marine calls "The Rookie". He'll often seem utterly worthless throughout the movie but when everybody gets caught up in some deep shit he'll be the one to save their asses. Will be one of the guys that survives in the movie and the only one to get a promotion.

 

[Solohk]

The other possible path for The Rookie is the sudden untimely death. What a shame. He had a lot of heart. Such a good kid.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

I thought Mass Effect already was a movie? Sure, it's not Metal Gear Solid but there's direction in them cutscenes, man!

Also skyway is wrong. The black man will be Shepards commanding officer. "You're a loose cannon, Shepard! You're off the case!" And then Shepard's superbadass (and played by Kiefer Sutherland, btw) and he's like "noone's gonna stop me from saving the world!" and he grabs two rocketlaunchers and he blows up a wall and then the movie ends with a to be continued.

 

[St. Toxic]

Expect some major collar-grabbing action on screen as well as off screen. To the extremes, probably. Sheesh.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

I managed to watch Bourne movies - that's where suspension of disbelief comes in handy. But Something-Man? It's as bad as any radnom anime.

Y so srs?

Especially because there are tons of superhero comics that make the Bourne novels look like shit.

 

[Shannow]

I managed to watch Bourne movies - that's where suspension of disbelief comes in handy. But Something-Man? It's as bad as any radnom anime.

"Managed"? So you didn't like them either? You don't like anime... Can we conclude that those are simply not genres you enjoy and thus all discussion is useless?

Anyway, Elektra, Chost Rider: crap. I want my wasted time back.
The Punisher: I like.
All other Marvel movies: From bad (Fantastic 4) to meh (X-Men) to ok (Spider-man 2/3)

OT: How can there be a movie based on Mass Effect without Meat Loaf? No one can resist the effect his mass has.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

I managed to watch Bourne movies - that's where suspension of disbelief comes in handy. But Something-Man? It's as bad as any radnom anime.

"Managed"? So you didn't like them either? You don't like anime... Can we conclude that those are simply not genres you enjoy and thus all discussion is useless?

Anyway, Elektra, Chost Rider: crap. I want my wasted time back.
The Punisher: I like.
All other Marvel movies: From bad (Fantastic 4) to meh (X-Men) to ok (Spider-man 2/3)

OT: How can there be a movie based on Mass Effect without Meat Loaf? No one can resist the effect his mass has.

:

 

[Suchy]

I can't call Bourne movies "good", but they were kind of fun for an evening when you're braindead after work.
The superhero movies are just utterly stupid. Nah, I can't enjoy any flick about guys in idiotic costumes flying around. The Punisher was hardly a super-hero movie, based on a comic-book, but rather into Bourne category. And like Bourne fliks, delivers as a one-time brainless entertainment.

Anime from the other hand... no fucking way. With the exception of Ghost in the Shell 2. But that's because I'm a sucker for cyberpunk and the only thing that connects it with anime are hand-drawn characters. Still they are drawn in a rather realistic way, not the big-eyed, pink-green-haired creatures out of pedobear's mind.

Mass Effect will be cheese, but might be enjoyable. And it must feature Vin Diesel.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Tell me, do you know what this is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3orQKBxiEg

Now, have you read superhero stories? Since before you go calling them idiotic it would be smart to read some of them, like Kingdom Come, Mortal Clay or Tygers.

As for The Punisher movie, to me it was a disappointment. The Punisher is easily Marvel's best character and the movies haven't really explored his madness yet (like Garth Ennis' Punisher: Born). However, Marvel is most likely flushing the character down the shitter now that Ennis isn't working for them.

 

[Spectacle]

Wasn't the mass effect plot twist supposed to be that the Citadel, the capital of the galaxy, was a hyperspace portal that the evil robotships were going to use to invade and destroy all life?

 

[Suchy]

Tell me, do you know what this is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3orQKBxiEg

Oh please....

Now, have you read superhero stories? Since before you go calling them idiotic it would be smart to read some of them, like Kingdom Come, Mortal Clay or Tygers.

I'm talking about movies, not comic books. Never read them, but in general I'm not a fan of comic books.
Anyway I doubt any story featuring some guy in spandex costume and a cloak would appeal to me, no matter what the presentation was.

 

[deshields538]

Oh Bioware... what have you done?