[LP CYOA] Epic

[treave]

To be fair it was a blind decision, but I think it could be said that Shulgi is no friend of Naram's, if Athena knows you woke up Naram would too, and your advantage of secrecy from him, your greatest enemy, never existed in the first place. As it is your enemies know you are around while your would be allies (Aodh, the Lady, Shulgi) are unsure.

Regarding Sekhenun, I do have some closure written in.

 

[Tigranes]

I think given the Codex's love for the setting, treave obviously has only one option open to him: milk the Epic franchise for all it's worth, including Epic: the RPG, a multiplayer CYOA where each Codexer takes a Successor and goes adventuring, and Epic: the Strategy Game, Epic: the Tentacle Lover Version...

 

[Baltika9]

treave, I really want to know what would have happened had Ean made Sek his wife and Empress? Also, what would have happened to the Empire if we chose a Praetorian Guard instead of the Watchers. Roman-style expansion?

 

[treave]

Actually the sequel is Epic: True Love VN: Please Fall in Love with Tentacles!

That's why I wasn't sure you guys would want to continue.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

Olympus:

Dio asks you to trust him. If you do he stabs you in the back and steals Anbar-Shi, then stabs Naram in the back and ascends thanks to the precarious dimensional flux and raging powers that have been enslaved to turn the Master into an even higher being. World is saved though. You survive, but Dio is now God.

If you don't you kill him and then lose control because of the Sekblade plus aforementioned unstable reality, devour Naram and everything else, your awakened memories of the void allowing you to comprehend and eat even the spheres and their higher forms. You end and reset everything.[/quote]

#2 Actually sounds pretty good - if by reset everything, you mean put the universe in order and not destroy the universe. Crap. Mistakes - we all make them, but some of 'em get Ean killed...

I guess I'll take solace in the fact that a good number of people may have voted to trust Dio. Dio as a true god would have been a really bad universe to live in...

Something along those lines. The optimum path of action was actually to draw attention to yourself as soon as possible so that Shulgi could indeed confirm you were back. His information gathering is being stymied by Dio.

So, my impulses were wrong every step of the way, then? Good to know. Good to know.

edit: I would buy any and all of the products mentioned above. Esp. Please Fall In Love with Tentacles...

 

[Baltika9]

Actually the sequel is Epic: True Love VN: Please Fall in Love with Tentacles!

Does it feature omni-sexual romances and a rip-off of Rance? What about gritty and grimdark wars to remove worst Masters from premises? What about awesum, visceral combat?
Edit: also, that question about Empress Sek.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

Will there be quick time events? It's not an RPG without quick time events.

 

[treave]

It's set in a Japanese-styled high school. Regarding Empress Sek, she'd have tried to stop you from going into the rift, for one.

 

[Esquilax]

Cue Baltika9 going "See guys?! I told ya we should have married Sek!! WHY DOES NOBODY LISTEN TO ME?!" Jumping into the rift was so obviously a bad idea, you didn't really need Sek to tell us that.

Hopefully Ean's last act will allow him to save the planet and maybe advance the human race along the way. Allow me to give praise to the new Emperor of Mankind...

Lord Shulgi

 

[Kipeci]

Regarding the head-in-a-jar idea: about how long would that have actually worked out?

 

[Baltika9]

It's set in a Japanese-styled high school.

So we'd take on the role of an orphaned Ean living in a housing project. The school would be divided into cliques, I assume? I can see it already:
"The Bi-sexual "Masters of BDSM" experimenting with various aphrodisiacs and "insertions in the interests of, um, SCIENCE!"; the illegal Gieloth immigrants, slackers that leech off of the hard work of others and present it as their own, insufferably arrogant, although they can handle themselves in a fight, their preferred technique being biting you into submission. May or may not be crazy, considering that they believe this gives them "powers;" Also there would be the so-called "Immortals," the title being earned after spending a week within a Masters' home, subject to various "scientific insertions." Loyal followers and utterly dependent by design, although breaking free is not unheard of."

"The player will start out on the steps of Akkadu Academy, exiting the bus with two other new students: Shulgi, a genius megalomaniac from a wealthy family and Naram, a farm boy, charmer, ladies-man and all-around swell guy. But all is not as easy as it seems, before they even make it to class they are kidnapped by the Masters. After a short period of "insertion" in the nearest ladies' bathroom, they awaken and find themselves with strange voices in their heads... Yes, life is not easy for a teenage Ean."

I see a bright future for this.

 

[treave]

Pretty long as you two get used to the arrangement once you overcome the initial difficulties and her constant comedic attempts at seducing you to free her.

 

[Baltika9]

Esquilax, treave was just trolling me. Sek tried to stop us as-is and it didn't work. Although it sucks that I didn't get to see Sek using her "charms" on the heartless jerk Ean.

Edit: I am also appalled that you wold think so low of me.

 

[Kipeci]

What a shame!
I would've voted for intercourse with her adorable little squid face.

 

[treave]

Well, Empress Sek would've tried the "What about our (surprise, I'm pregnant!) baby" emotional manipulation trick which would certainly sway votes from some people towards staying.

 

[Baltika9]

Well, Empress Sek would've tried the "What about our (surprise, I'm pregnant!) baby" emotional manipulation trick which would certainly sway votes from some people towards staying.

Wait a second... I thought she couldn't get pregnant. Unless she would be lying. Still, "Oops!" pregnancies are a dirty trick. Also, would this hypothetical pregnancy result in a Cthulhuoid Lil' E?

But let's get to the important part: what about the Empire and the planet? What would have happened to them?

 

[Esquilax]

Since we're playing twenty questions, how about these:

After defeating Shulgi in Chapter 1, what would have happened if we decided to spare King Sargon's life and leave Akkad in search of other adventures (perhaps an earlier trip to Egypt?)

In Chapter 3, let's say we fucked off to Europe after beating Sekhenun instead of remaining in Egypt. We already knew the North was rising at this point, would we have run into Shulgi during Skane's infancy? Also, what implications would this have for Marduk - with nobody defending Egypt, he'd probably steamroll the place and become a serious threat we'd have to deal with later, I presume.

In Chapter 4, what would have happened had we opted to use the love potion on King Minos? Also, had we been victorious there and regained our powers without the hunger, what would Chapter 5 in Greece have looked like?

In Chapter 5, let's say we came on top against both Zeus and Marduk. We kick both their asses and reassemble Vajra - would this have resulted in Ean being transported to some wacky dimension because he's a primitive Bronze Age warrior who has no idea what the fuck he's doing with a powerful interdimensional weapon?

In Chapter 6, say we partially seal up the rift with our piece of Vajra - what would have an adventure in China have looked like?

Also in Chapter 6, let's say after we jumped into the rift, instead of engaging in dumbfuck sphere diplomacy, we decided to jump into one of the seams in the void. Where would we have ended up?

 

[Kipeci]

Also, would this hypothetical pregnancy result in a Cthulhuoid Lil' E?

I thought it resulted in the Chinese?

 

[treave]

Since we're playing twenty questions, how about these:

After defeating Shulgi in Chapter 1, what would have happened if we decided to spare King Sargon's life and leave Akkad in search of other adventures (perhaps an earlier trip to Egypt?)

You'd have bumped into Naram who'd try to convince you to follow him on a quest for the gods.

In Chapter 3, let's say we fucked off to Europe after beating Sekhenun instead of remaining in Egypt. We already knew the North was rising at this point, would we have run into Shulgi during Skane's infancy? Also, what implications would this have for Marduk - with nobody defending Egypt, he'd probably steamroll the place and become a serious threat we'd have to deal with later, I presume.

Pretty much, but depending on how you dealt with Shulgi you could've gotten backup.

In Chapter 4, what would have happened had we opted to use the love potion on King Minos? Also, had we been victorious there and regained our powers without the hunger, what would Chapter 5 in Greece have looked like?

Wacky Minos hijinks. And with you back to normal the Olympians would approach you with an offer.

In Chapter 5, let's say we came on top against both Zeus and Marduk. We kick both their asses and reassemble Vajra - would this have resulted in Ean being transported to some wacky dimension because he's a primitive Bronze Age warrior who has no idea what the fuck he's doing with a powerful interdimensional weapon?

No, but the Masters dispatch a hostile flotilla that takes a thousand years to arrive. You are given advance notice to surrender Vajra.

In Chapter 6, say we partially seal up the rift with our piece of Vajra - what would have an adventure in China have looked like?

Also in Chapter 6, let's say after we jumped into the rift, instead of engaging in dumbfuck sphere diplomacy, we decided to jump into one of the seams in the void. Where would we have ended up?

China wasn't fully plotted out but the Chinese immortals and Gieloth forged an alliance of a sort. You'd have to deal with both somehow.

Entering the seam would send you to Dragon Age.

The "lodestone" pendant could've guided you guys home, by the way, once you were no longer in the void.

 

[treave]

Well, Empress Sek would've tried the "What about our (surprise, I'm pregnant!) baby" emotional manipulation trick which would certainly sway votes from some people towards staying.

Wait a second... I thought she couldn't get pregnant. Unless she would be lying. Still, "Oops!" pregnancies are a dirty trick. Also, would this hypothetical pregnancy result in a Cthulhuoid Lil' E?

But let's get to the important part: what about the Empire and the planet? What would have happened to them?

Hard to say, it depends more on whether you enter the rift or not rather than who is Empress.

 

[Baltika9]

Well, Empress Sek would've tried the "What about our (surprise, I'm pregnant!) baby" emotional manipulation trick which would certainly sway votes from some people towards staying.

Wait a second... I thought she couldn't get pregnant. Unless she would be lying. Still, "Oops!" pregnancies are a dirty trick. Also, would this hypothetical pregnancy result in a Cthulhuoid Lil' E?

But let's get to the important part: what about the Empire and the planet? What would have happened to them?

Hard to say, it depends more on whether you enter the rift or not rather than who is Empress.

Well, my assumption is that she would be wait too busy governing and EUing to research portals, hence either delaying Zeus' return or preventing it altogether.
And what about that Cthulhu-baby?

 

[treave]

She wouldn't rule forever in your absence. Doesn't want to, and there are better qualified people.

Offspring of Ean and Sek? Kinda leaving that for something in the future.

 

[Baltika9]

Offspring of Ean and Sek? Kinda leaving that for something in the future.

So, hope lives on after all. If this means that we will get a chance to play as him/her/it, then you are a magnificent human being and have my BRO. Just don't give it the name Tenebrae again (seriously, where did that come from?)

 

[Baltika9]

By the way, a fitting funeral song for Ean, in name and lyrics. Just replace "Odin" with "honor" and there you have it.

Now only if that last stanza were true, eh?

 

[Storyfag]

Something along those lines. The optimum path of action was actually to draw attention to yourself as soon as possible so that Shulgi could indeed confirm you were back. His information gathering is being stymied by Dio.

Fuck. FUCK. FUUUUUUUCK!

I hate you morons. Wasting our time on the Lady and the Yellowstreaks has led to the above not happening!