Let's succeed a Dwarf Fortress! [Krash-ing for Fun!]

[GarfunkeL]

Quick update dear diary. We have found some mushrooms and muddy fields. Time to plant more fields! More worryingly, I found some cave spider webs. And we have only a single axe! Is this our moment of doom?

So far, I have only spotted a single Pond Grabber. Filthy beast, hopefully it is unable to crawl out of water.

 

[GarfunkeL]

14th Felsite 252

I've ordered a stairwell to be dung so we can reach the top-most level of the cavern complex. This should not endanger ANUSBLAZE at all, since we haven't found any blood gnats. Meanwhile, poor Goden Logemarzes has gone berserk, the limp-dicked bastard! I've ordered The Red Armors to subdue him, even if they are mostly unarmed, what with R00fles being only one with an axe.

Update: well, Goden won't trouble us anymore. Krash, the brewmaster, showed him who's who in this fort! Personally, I would NOT have grabbed the berserk by his teeth but what do I know?

As the militia did so well, I've sent them to kill the five muskox outside the fort. Should be good practice, chasing the dumb animals.

 

[GarfunkeL]

18th Felsite 252

Pansy elves are here. A caravan from I-C-I-F-A-N-A-R-E-N-A has arrived. Will have to get the exact location of it from them and maybe divert a river over it in the future. Let us hope for a rope and a hearty load of wood! We need beds!

Oh, I also ordered leather workshop to be built next to the masonry. With all these animals were about to kill, maybe we can get some leather armour for the militia and save all of our sorry asses.

Update: Blasted elves! By Armok's vomit-soaked beard! They loved our silly rock baubles and toys but because we packed them in wooden bins, the pointy-eared faggots threw a temper tantrum and ran away! May Ral Eturotil give me years enough to burn each and every elf to ashes!

 

[GarfunkeL]

1st Hematite 252

Well, summer is here. I guess all the projects are progressing satisfactorily. Estirelith prepared a report for me, I've attached it here. Like all true dwarves, we still sleep on the floor. Except for the rotten scoundrels who hoard the few beds at barracks, damn them!

 

[Krash]

Only 117 drink?

 

[Destroid]

I'm up next, I should have it done in the next 48 hours or so.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Wait, that was only spring

Summer, fall and winter left :D

 

[Destroid]

Alrighty then!

 

[GarfunkeL]

4th Hematite 252

We've built two farm plots on the muddy floor of the top-most cavern level - seven levels below ANUSBLAZE. The lads also dug out a little tunnel so we can reach another plateau. I've told the lads to collect the mushrooms and fungus, maybe we'll get some usable wood and plants. Since there are no sightings of spiders, I'm going to order the construction of a loom so the useless weavers can collect the webs and make some silk. Mmm, silk panties, must feel good...

 

[GarfunkeL]

16th Hematite 252

FINALLY the mobile meat pen wall is finished! We're also going to use that place as an archery fortress in the future, so I've ordered some stairs to be built and the wall to be extended vertically. I'm pondering the creation of some bee hives instead of just burning them to the ground, some honey mead would hit the spot!

The stone storage outside the fort is filled. The jackasses will get lazy again unless I mark out a new one. Choices, choices!

 

[GarfunkeL]

18th Hematite 252

I've told the lads to dig out some new bedrooms even if don't have any beds. Going to be useful in the future in any case.

And we got new workshops! A loom, a clothier's shop, and a mechanic's workshop!

 

[GarfunkeL]

1st Malachite 252

MORE FUCKING BEGGARS crawling at our doorstep, for fuck's sake.

Vucar Uzolrab, wood worker (useless)
Mebzuth Arustilral, herbalist (join the army)
Melbil Batoksigun, blacksmith (as soon as we get a forge running, work to death)
Cerol Gamilkeskal, wax worker (useless)
Urdim Daturudib, animal dissector (useless)
Adil Satrith, animal caretaker (do we need a kennel?)
Sodel Kezatbesmar, pump operator (join the army)
Led Nosingalath, engraver (ah, he will immortalize my glory)
Zan Sazirurol, child (useless)
Fath Stettaduzol, child (baby meat)
Kadol Thobgosmer, fishery worker (useless)

At least they brought many mobile meat stocks with them.

In other news, I finally got a bedroom of my own, along with few other, privileged comrades.

 

[GarfunkeL]

25th Malachite 252

DOOMED - we are doomed, I tell you, dear diary. For a mighty cave crocodile has crawled out from the depths of that underground lake!

I'll send The Red Armours to deal with it.

By all that is good in this world! Sending naked and unarmed dwarves to kill one tiny little pest is apparently a bad idea, especially if there's a fucking giant olm nearby!

Sarvesh Shorastokol, Erib Atastmeng and Mebzuth Arustilral are dead and R00fles, the militia commander, lost his right lower leg - the damn beast just chewed through. And we didn't even kill either one, though both were badly hurt and escaped:

 

[GarfunkeL]

6th Galena 252

Oh for fucks sake. The giant olm is healed and back to harassing the stupid mule-breaths trying to collect the mushrooms down there. But this time it's alone, we have a new militia commander so operation KILL OLM is go!

Or not. The giant crocodile is back too! RUN AWAY!

Fuck that. Olm is dead. We're going for the crocodile too. PREPARE TO DIE BEAST

Bah. the witless creature swam away and I'm not going to send any dorfs, no matter how stupid, swimming after it.

 

[GarfunkeL]

13th Galena 252

Ah, a human caravan from Emmunanthath is here. Time to sell all these trinkets and get some weapons and armour!

We have stuff worth of 39,210 dwarfbucks to sell. So I bought the following:

-fire clay x2 (to make jugs)
-wood x 42
-rope (for well)
-copper cage (for traps)
-barrel of sewer brew
-barrel of strawberry wine
-empty barrel x 3
-copper long sword
-bronze great axe
-iron pick
-iron shield
-bin of cloth (for clothes)
-bin of leather x4 (for armour and clothes)
-waterskin x2 (if militia needs longer patrols at some point)
-training sword x2 (for militia)
-leather cape
-large copper helm (dunno if we can actually use it)
-large rope reed fiber dress (for wooing one of the girl dwarves if they catch my eye)
-bags of seeds x6 (for future planting)
-empty bag x2 (for storage)

I removed three bins of trinkets from the equation so the stupid humans wouldn't make too much of a profit. They still made plenty - should be coming back next year for sure.

 

[GarfunkeL]

24th Galena 252

One of the useless weavers, Nish Abirezum, has been taken by a fell mood. I'll be watching that rat-bastard carefully.

Also, the mini-graveyard for the dead dwarves, so far four of them, is ready with coffins.

 

[GarfunkeL]

1st Limestone 252

Autumn is here. We still haven't found any proper minerals, only few gems and lots of rock.

 

[Ulminati]

Brutal!

 

[Hoaxmetal]

:D

Gore filmmakers probably have the violence scenes generated by DF.

 

[Krash]

Krash has mandated the production of updates!

 

[JagreenLern]

Krash has mandated the production of updates!

Yeah I really hope we don't let this LP die. Maybe we could discuss ideas for the fortress to keep this LP fresh in peoples minds?

 

[Krash]

While we wait, it's mandatory to read the Boatmurdered saga. It sucked many players into DF back in the days.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Sorry guys, my dissertation is due in four days and it takes all my efforts and time. But as soon as I get it finished and handed in, I'll return to DF for sure!

So if you guys can wait until next weekend, it's all good - but if you cannot, then you cannot

 

[JagreenLern]

Sorry guys, my dissertation is due in four days and it takes all my efforts and time. But as soon as I get it finished and handed in, I'll return to DF for sure!

So if you guys can wait until next weekend, it's all good - but if you cannot, then you cannot

I think we should skip Garfunkel for now, but since he did the bro thing and let us know he won't be able to take his turn we should fit him in whenever he's ready instead of moving him to the bottom.

 

[Krash]

We'd continue from his last save right? Feels like a waste starting over.