Crispy™ Let's run rings around Blood Bowl F13 Season 8 - Three Codexers in Play Offs

[RK47]

03 - Do you even lift?!

Spoiler

Amazon's turn and Shadenuat is a pussy.

Yeah, fuck that russian guy.
STAY THE COURSE!

Yeah, fuck you wimin. You think you can kick men around?
RR'ed into a push.

Amazons fired a handover as they get away with the ball.

That's it. Run bitch. Now you're 2 man down. Just like us.
Bada bing.

Badaaa boom.

Karma. Time to show our manhood, boys.

Ignore the ball. Put your pride and soul into your fists. Remember: Hands of the Rapists, Body of the Victims. LET THE PIXELS CLIP INTO EACH OTHER! LARP IT! ENGAGE IT! FIST ON!

Danny scores a push.
RK squeezes a stumble, which is nullified by dodge!

GO DOWN ALREADY!

Finally. ORANGE! Blitz!

SMASHED COLLAR BONER (-1 STR). That bitch's career is over if the medics fail. Poland Coach, Darth Roxor calls down the apothecary to the field, screaming 'C'mon kurwa! C'mon!'

No go. She's not coming back. Catchy Kathy's gonna have to settle being a porn star for the rest of her lives, fluffing old dirty men who has unwashed dicks covered with 4 weeks-old smegma. The crowd masturbates.

Disbelief from the Amazon's bench. But the ref ordered the body to be carted away after giving her ass a quick squeeze.
Play on Fist moar!! The crowd cheered, and the Ogre obeys!

Stunning Herstorian with a left.
The human coach gets excited and calls out another assault, Jasede the catcher will get a chance to ravish a woman!
With a 2 Dick Block!

RRRRR FAGGGOT!!!!!!

Rerolled for a push. Turn over.

 

[RK47]

04 - Netorare

A vastly overrated genre that has it's origins with crappy shoujo anime and manga. It's basically a Japanese term for cuckolding, and only a jealous mangina would do that to another guy.

Spoiler

Run bitch, run.

They wanna delay the TD? Good good.
Me like.
Me haf big cocks.
And what do cocks do, Zoltan?
They go into vagina, yes?

Davion the Slow eats dirt.
Looks like the wimin still puts up resistance.
Good. Resistance will only make my cock harder.
However, this does not seem the case for LundB 's cock.

It went limp. I see him no up.
Big trouble lah.

Aiyoh.
Ayn Rand punches Jasede ,who is stunned.

This bash game is just getting started.
Sgt. Equality dodges out of tackle zone!

Not sure why she settles behind Jaedar. Guess she has a thing for butts.

Our turn to play. Let's get up boys.

Turisas puts his guard up for assist.
Danny swings, and causes a stumble... bleh.

Orange turn to swing: same result.

Can't let that stop the punching. Gotta keep swinging..
RK47 finally scores a down on Kaiserin.

But no injury. Ballers are getting desperate, Blackhart is called into action.

Blackhart doesn't give a fuck.

Fisted that bitch on the face. And the crowd goes wild when they realized she's not even twitching!

Fisted to death...wow. So power. Much toughness. Female doge is ded.
Jaedar, witnessing this snuff flick in action, pops a boner and decides to go on a single dick block!

He gave no fucks and pushed her to the line.

Female doges be wet after all that pawing. Turn over. Time to make those hips move on their own, Amazons.

 

[RK47]

05 - Yamete yamete, dame, ichau.

Spoiler

Look at this slut.

She's still THERE? GREAT.
'Get offa me, you creep!' Sgt. Equality screamed as she brings down Jaedar with an assist.

Sgt. Womyn only manages a shove on Davion.

Ayn Rand blitzes Orange and brings him down.

However, WesDude's wet dream remains uninjured. Turn over.
Orange and Danny wants to help Jaedar realize his dream.

IKEI! JAEDAR KUN!

Ding Dong Bells are ringing.
Ayn Rand's next.

Down but not out.
Blackhart is ordered a second fisting...

But derped as he wipes the cum off his fist. Turn over.

 

[RK47]

06 - Blood and Thunder

Spoiler

That's three down on their side.

Ours are of the same count, but KOs can still return. And we have apoth.

Dem sistas are tenacious tho.

They know they're outnumbered. But they still want to delay the TD.
Turn over. Not like I mind.

Turisas gets a push.

Blackhart derps again.

Let's pressure her a bit. Danny will get there.
Orange blitzes as he runs past.

Kaiserin goes home, badly hurt. That's a hit and run for you. Four down, girls.

RK only manages a push.

Turn over. C'mon doges, you can either score now or delay. I don't care.

 

[RK47]

07 - Fists of Furry

Spoiler

Jasede succumbs to darkness as he eats a fist. Both sides are down by 4 players now.

The crowd is loving this orgy of bloodbath as Davion goes down to a blitz.

Finally, the Girls touched down.

As the ref calls for a set up formation, two of their players will replace the fallen three.

The Ballers have no such shortage. Lund is out of the game, otherwise everyone is still in the fight.

Kick off as 10 Ballers face 9 Amazons.

Can they score in this limited time?

Wow, that result is gonna stop the offense cold.
Ball lands back left. Not within range of the Thrower.

Orange with a blitz!

Scores a down, but no injury.
Popcorn moves up.

Davion needs to slow the defense down.

Tzaero fires a block.

Takes down his mark, but no injury.

Jasede, running back for a pick up.

RR.

Fudged it again!

 

[RK47]

08 - Plan C

Spoiler

Big drop by the Ballers, can the Amazons capitalize?
Danny stunned by Sgt. Womyn's fist!

Davion gets double teamed.

Turisas survives his.

Turn over. We can't score. But we have to take more of them down with us.

The game plan hasn't changed. Blitzers go!
RK's 1D block gets a push on the guard piece!

Turisas tries his luck and only stumbles the defender.

Blackhart couldn't make it count.

Don't drop it now fag.

I swear.

Last RR Burned.
Davion gets up.

Plan C. Orange to be receiver. Cmon. Doge!

There goes our scoring window.

 

[Darth Roxor]

 

[RK47]

09 - Abort mission, abort mission

Spoiler

Orange is still stunned, Davion is down. No receivers possible for final turn play.

They want to bash us too? C'mon bring it, bitch.

Already burned a reroll earlier in the round on a 2x D.pushed result.

Plan C: Kurado no Surf.

Danny, get in there and blitz!

Only a push? Go for it!

Tzaero, free Blackhart!

Yooosh!

Get there, Blackhart!

Eat this.

First half over. 1-0 Amazons.

 

[RK47]

10 - Monogamy

Spoiler

2nd Half. Turn 9. Ballers receiving.

We're going in. Nothing can stop us now. We have the numbers. They have 9. We have 11.
Kick off!

Short kick. Good, we'll oblige.

 

[RK47]

11 - Manpower

Spoiler

The girls desperately try to keep their comrades free from the men's grasp.

Assist blocks, blitzes. Anything.

Also, they wanted to kill Jasede so bad.

Burned a reroll for this???

rofl. Jaedar gets pushed.

Dodged out of rape zone.

Assists a mighty blow to inflict a stun. Hmph. They're really trying hard.

But it's now my turn.

Blackhart moves ahead.

Yeah baby, open wide.

Turisas blitzes!

Only gets a stun!

Right flank is WIDE open.

Jasede dodges out.

We're about to put these AV7, MA6 bimbos in their personal hell.

 

[RK47]

12 - Futality

Spoiler

Bitches still have the moves. Another dodge out.

They're trying SO hard to remove the lino markers from the game.

*Heavy breathing*

But what can you do, sisters? You don't have the numbers, nor the muscle to match us, men.

Get into the thick of the action and bash them till they all leave the field.

You're never going to have this ball.

Their turn. More doge.

Lol Jasede. I feel his pain.

Ayn Rand falls to Jaedar. Turn over.

 

[RK47]

13 - Crush their feminist aspirations

Spoiler

Bah just a stumble.

Not getting away from us...

Yeah, lie down there girls. The crowd or the boot will see you shortly.

So many chain blocks. Gods, if the dice felt more punishing in the first half than second. No injuries so far on the Amazons.

Turn over. What can you do, woman? Cry?

*RR phailed* Yeah, I thought so. Turn over.

Danny gets a push.

Popcorn setting up for a delayed touchdown. Nobody can get to him.

Enjoy the show.

Don't forget the other girls on the floor. They want it so badly.

 

[RK47]

14 - They are cute when they are angry

Spoiler

Wow. Shadenuat gets KO'ed. So powerful.
Herstorian dodges from the rape zone...

Twice!

Grrrr....

You know what? I don't wanna win anymore.

Kuh...

You still want to resist?! It's FUTILE!

It's a draw fools! And I've killed and maimed your loved ones. And a few of them will never play again!
I've won! WON!

 

[Darth Roxor]

Burned a reroll for this???

Cuz I was sure you'd go for fast TDs with that guy, so I wanted to eliminate him at all cost.

It's a draw fools! And I've killed and maimed your loved ones. And a few of them will never play again!
I've won! WON!

 

[RK47]

15 - James Blunt

Spoiler

It's a draw. But I drew the moral victory.

Bah, so many kick off events go to their side. But still, I killed them. I hurt them. I won.

No way you can touch down in two turns now.

So you stunned someone. I have apothecary. All your attacks don't matter one bit.

Go ahead, woman. Cry out injustice. Demand equality. We proved how unequal we are today.

You are not my equal.

Told you so.

Game over.

Sayonara sucker. You got no RR left.

Your last chance to hurt my players.

What?

Go ahead. See if I care...

Blood Bowl is played in two different match mode: a one-off match and a season play.

There are different C&Cs that comes with each type of play.

For one-off matches. People tend to play recklessly with no regards to C&C. Injuries etc are permanent, yet it seems meaningless since you can simply replay infinite matches till you rebuild your strength.

Losses and wins are there to simply boost your records. There are no 'league points' to be won. No ladder to climb.

For closed seasons, the meta is different. You don't have the luxury of infinite matches. Lose too many times and you are out.

What you won and lost in a match could determine what would happen for the rest of the season.
Some people don't take foolish risks, some coaches think anything is worth a shot it's 1 out of 6. ANYTHING can succeed.

And that proves to be the difference in today's match.

 

[Brother None]

Feminism wins again over raging misogyny

 

[RK47]

Post Match Analysis
So, a smashing game where both sides really went all out in the bash game.
Ballers let it slip at the end, but overall the 130 TV gap is not as narrow as it looks.

Here are the skills that mattered:
1. Dodge (AG Access Skill) - Natural skill for All Amazon Players.
Dodge: Allows a player to re-roll a failed dodge. In addition, the are only Pushed back on a "Defender Stumbles" result
Can't say this enough, but dodge adds much to defense, and relocating marked players is much safer with a free reroll.
The Amazons with AV7 live and die by Dodge and it proved to be decisive as many blocks ended up as mere pushes.

2. Mighty Blow (ST Access Skill) - Amazon Blitzers
Adds +1 to any Armour OR Injury roll made by a player when an opponent is knocked down during a block.
The Ballers gets a few of their own taken down in the game due to this skill, their AV8 advantaged is nullified by M.Blow.
Blitzers should take this skill AFTER Guard if they want to go the killer route - it's effective against all targets and may prove the difference between a KO or a Casualty roll.
Having extra armor piercing attacks helps the Amazons in not losing the bash game and hampers the Ballers tremendously after a few KOs were scored in the first half.

3. Guard (ST Access Skill) - Amazon Blitzers
A player with this skill assists an attacking or defensive block even if they are in another player's tackle zone.
Since Amazon's Blitzers start with Block AND Dodge, giving them Guard will cause extra headache to the opposing players trying to take her down.
Guard pieces are crucial for ST3 teams to be competitive in the bash game and are priority targets for the opponents.

For a low to mid TV(Team Value) league, the Amazons are worth it. The combination of ST access Blodge (Block & Dodge) Blitzers with an all-Dodge starting team will prove troublesome for starter teams with no Tackles. Until you face a Dwarf team that is. At higher TV, once everyone starts to develop a Tackle piece with Mighty Blow, the Amazons will get into trouble in high-risk bash games, while their passing/dodge plays are hampered by AG3. Oh, also, AV7 isn't exactly bash-friendly. Go back to the kitchen, girls.

What saved the Amazons were the injury rolls in the second half. Late first half crowdsurf leading to no injuries, 6-man fouls only getting a stun and KO.
If they had crumbled much earlier in the 2nd half, I would've gone for TD and aim for a 2nd interception, but eh, I'm happy that Blackhart gained 4 SPP from the 2 casualties, and agentorange took MVP (Now at 12 SPP) after a smashing display.

I debated whether to give Orange Guard or Mighty Blow. But decided to go for the former since Guard is much more important at low TV stages to get those 2D blocks going when playing bash games.

 

[RK47]

Welcome to Pre-Season 04!

So much grudge in this match. Orangina really wants to score one over the average humans, they're starting to get skill ups and money to burn. With a third reroll earned and a Witch Elf armed with Block, can they finally turn the table on the Ballers?

Post your predictions people, and let's bowl!

Spoiler

Orangina wants to receive. Let's setup a bit forward. I'm feeling brave today. I wanna win after that last gasp loss to Strong Female Leads. Undeserving sluts.

And the kick off event is...

Oh, a bribe. This could be handy for fouling.

Kick is decent. Far out. Scatter took it a bit further back than intended.
But the Oranginas don't give a fuck and went for a straight pick up. AG4, people.

What the fuck. Too much swagger. They just executed a pass from a direct pick up!
WHAT NEXT?!

A handover completed with a burned reroll. Finished with a blitz by the ball carrier!

FOLKS THIS IS FUCKING NOT RECOMMENDED. Whatever they did is insane.
They just did a Frenzy 1D block which resulted in a push, the second forced block (triggered by Frenzy) was 2 red dices. Orangina was lucky not to lose possession in the first turn.

And to add the insult, he dodged the Witch elf back out into another tackle zone.
With the fucking ball.

So this is what being trolled feels like.

 

[RK47]

02 - I don't even

Spoiler

This bitch is asking for it. We'll take it.

Get down.

Blodge is so damn good.

Too good. Didn't burn a reroll to retry the 2D blocks, figured it was still early in the half.

Seems like the dice isn't with me today. Turn over.

Yeah, I knew it.

Whatever, punk. Orangina takes early lead.

 

[RK47]

03 - Our turn

Spoiler

A showcase of AG4. That's all I can say.
We'll score one back, no problem. So much time.

Kick off!

Yeah, with results like this - I'm not surprised if I lose today.

They used the event to tie up our players. Gonna have a hard time breaking through that.
Whatever, let's start the LOS bash.

No injuries from two downs. Send the rest of the boys right to cage the ball.

Popcorn is out of range, but I bought a second thrower just for this occasion.

Haba gets the job done.
Now with the important task done, time to bash more.
Tzaero punches the line to finish the turn.

 

[RK47]

04 - Vaginas

Spoiler

Seems like the Ginas are playing it conservatively just setting up a line to slow us down.

Their blitz came near the end of the turn and succeeded in taking out one cage corner.

Turn over.
Blackhart on the move.

Takes down one line elf, putting him on the line.

Haba relocates.

Danny was given the order to do a wake-up blitz!

Pays off handsomely! Line bashing starts now.
Tzaero nabbing a quick stun.

Shadenuat joins the party.

The Ballers look safe for now.

 

[agentorange]

オーホッホッホッ

 

[RK47]

05 - Deadlock

Spoiler

The downed line elf decides to get up and blitz Jasede.

Thankfully no harm came to the catcher. Also the blitzing player did a dodge into TZ to relocate... and successfully beat -2 odds.

Where is he getting those lucky rolls!?
A little bash on the line and Orange gets taken down.

Another line elf dodges out.

Finish the turn with a stumble inflicted on Shadenuat.

Our turn. Gonna try to take down this witch elf...

Only gets a push dammit.
Jaedar takes down the line elf, putting that faggot back into the edge.

While Danny only manages a push.

Ballers starting to set up receivers on the other half. Might have to employ a short pass.

RK frees a player with a push.

Turisas heads into the opposing half.

Turn over.

 

[RK47]

06 - Cross the Line

Spoiler

Shadenuat somehow survives three block attempts against him.

Finally, a break for the Ballers.

Burned a reroll on a dodge earlier. No saving against the Red Skull.

Danny gets in there, wants to make an opening!

Stuns the witch elf!

Rerouting all power to right flank.

Ballers offense looking good with 2 stunned players on the Elf side. Also, one KO. A 3-man advantage!

Go for it, IMO!

See? We're fine. One more wouldn't hurt.

Chill, we got reroll.

All good.
Now, let's hand over and score before Jasede dies from a blitz at the next turn...

Nope. I'm not angry. Not at all. Totally not.

 

[RK47]

07 - Damn it

Spoiler

Of course the elf can ignore Jasede and just grab the ball with AG4.

And nothing will stop them from dodging out with it.

And handing it over as the turn ends into a player at the central of their make-shift cage.

But this is a test I guess. I'll just have to keep plugging at it.
Orange brings down a player.

Turisas can only manage a 1d block on the ball, which is only enough for a push.

Tzaero wants to get RK freed by pushing away the assassin.

Sigh, told Blackhart to swing just for the hell of it. If we can't score, we might as well inflict casualty for the next drive.

Stuns. Not bad. Except it's a double-down.

Not looking great.