So I start up the game and slap on iron man. Couldn't change the difficulty from normal. Based on what happens later, that's probably for the best.
Here is our hero, Ramon de Castilla. I'm sure he'll do fine, right? I mean, natives love diplomacy.
Oh and the fucking Codex review lied, I needed 10 people, not 8. Codex cannot into fact-checking. My beloved crew are the ones with the crosses.
And here's where we begin. Time to take on the New World!
wat.
"The governor is a dick" is apparently the arbitrary reason used to keep you in Hispaniola instead of sweet sweet Mexico.
So I use my radioactive hoofprints to go to the governor's house.
So I meet this guy and do the tutorial battle.
I do okay, but it's an early sign that I have little strategic skill.
The governor and I continue our pissing match.
In comes the mudblood who wants el D.
After I get my ship and shit back, the mudblood asks to join my expedition. I agree, since why not? Who doesn't want an extra mouth to feed on a costly expedition? She has a vagina, it's worth it, I swear.
I pick up a sidequest on my way out. This one's to find the treasurer's exploring wife.
Bible thumper wants me to deliver the good book up north. I accept.
I travel and set up my camps, following the map to the heathen temple.
Sometimes you get random events in camp. This was one of them.
I go easy on the guy since we're just starting out. Maybe he just made one bad call.
We arrive at the heathen temple.
Nigga, I invested in diplomacy. We go in weapons sheathed!
Was so worried I'd end up with some kinda native kali ma.
The way this was phrased, I thought Ramon thought that fishlips was a tribe all herself.
I'm a bad Christian, but a diplomacy master.
Ending the first update here. Things get worse for Ramon and crew from her on out. I forgot how much of a pain in the ass this kinda thing was so I'm cutting my nearly 2 hours of play into 2 or 3 updates.