I bet you didn’t expect an update so quick, eh? Well, I’m sorry to bring you back, but there we go. In this here update we get ourselves a dog, have the final showdown with the matron and kill raiders. Sounds interesting, right?
I leveled up soon after the jump part and as intended I got the dog. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that he didn’t appear right next to me. To have him appear you either must go to another area or go near a save point. Makes more sense than just have him teleported near you, no?
This is the dog.
Lovely, isn’t he?
He’s actually pretty good (when he doesn’t get left behind stuck in some wall or dies in some trap) and scores plenty of criticals. Bad part is he takes your experience, and for what I don’t know. I don’t think he levels up. I can’t find a way to access his character sheet so no name for him either. I’ll just call him Drog. Drog, man’s best friend.
OK, so let’s find that machinery.
Some raiders nearby are having a talk.
Raider Guard 2: What?
Raider Guard 1: My pee. It’s coming out bright green. Radiation, I guess.
Raider Guard 2: That sucks, man. I’m, uh, I’m gonna stand over here.
Radiation makes your pee green. Kinda like the lollipops that make your tongue blue.
Not long after that we finally get to the machinery which is a reactor and we activate it.
So we’re heading for the lair. Again, to my surprise, we don’t have to take the same route back. In fact I think it’s blocked now so we go another way.
On that way we find the first enemy that poses a threat to Drog. Electricity.
He died here, but be not afraid, he reappeared at the next save-point.
Opening a valve kills a raider nearby with hot steam.
Interactivity.
Speaking of which, we get to test the steam dodging skills BOS taught us:
Thank God I did the tutorial.
Then we find this:
Well.. durr… I press square cuz no way something bad’s gonna happen.
Hurr… I did not expect this.
Let’s leave this prime example of unexpected event and go forth.
I find a weapon that I cannot use.
Did you expect this? I certainly did not. No idea why I can’t use it, though.
I get to flush a toilet too.
And sparkling stuff comes out of it.
Toilet humor? I don’t get it.
Finally we’re out and can open that previously locked door to the matron’s lair.
She’s having a talk with someone.
But something happens.
Raider Matron: You better not be messing with me you big –
MUTANT GENERAL! SHIT!
He’s voiced by Tony Jay, btw, just like the cinematics of this game. A disgrace. And he has long hair and 2 balls on sticks coming out from his back.
Mutant General: Our business is concluded.
Raider Matron: Wait! Where are you going?!?
Raider Matron: If there’s a problem, maybe you can stay and help me out… then I can help you.
…she says, in a seductive voice.
Mutant General: Whatever problem you now face, it’s yours to face alone.
OMG. ASS VIEW!!!!
How the hell did the general got through those small doors?
Because he did… and left the matron quite surprised
She lets out her feminine side:
At this point I’m given back control and since we’re near a save-point, let’s save. But…
OLOLOLOLOOOOL!! Because you see all other worked, but this doesn’t and it’s right near a boss. Take that, player! Unexpected, challenging gameplay!
Fuck you, Chuck Cuevas.
OK, so we enter the room and the matron greets us… sort of.
I DUN UNDERSTUND!! TITS!!! HERP DERP!!!
Btw, the tits use bounce technology. Way before people started calling it innovative.
Me: I’m looking for some Brotherhood soldiers – you know where they went.
Matron: I met some paladins weeks ago. The mutants were heading for a ghoul city, so I gave the Brotherhood directions. That’s what you killed everyone to find out?
Well… I’ll be. Grey area and all that. I may have killed so many raiders for a trivial matter.
Me: Just tell me how to get to the ghoul city and I’ll be on my way…
Matron: Ha ha! You think I’ll let you live after what you’ve done?!? No, I’m gonna kill you myself, you little shit… and I’m going to enjoy it!
Me: If that’s how you want it. Let’s get it on.
Unfortunately she didn’t mean what I thought she meant by “let’s get it on”, so the fight begins.
She died incredibly fast. I don’t know if it was because of dog or not.
Fucking unfulfilling.
Back in town pretty much everything is back to normal. We can even uses Ruby’s services again. But we’re just gonna take some information.
Me: Have you heard anything about a mutant army in the area?
Ruby: Mutants?!? When I was a little girl, people told stories about mutants to scare us. They’re not real, are they?
Little girls who don’t believe the stories they’re told become prostitutes. I hope you’re happy.
Me: I’m afraid so. And I’ll need your help if I’m going to find them…
This option just brings me back to the root of the dialog.
Me: I’m looking for a ghoul city in this region…
Ruby: Sorry, I can’t help you. I’ve only seen one ghoul before, a shriveled up fella passing through town. What was his name? Henry? Harold?
Harold… the one they turned into a fucking tree in POS2.
Well, she’s as useless as ever.
The doctor isn’t, however.
Me: You know, there are mutants working with the raiders.
Vidya: Mutants?!? I never saw one, but I’ve seen the destruction they’ve caused… If there are mutants in the are, we’ll have to be extra careful from now on.
Yeah. So far you were just sitting here taking it from the raiders, but from now on you’ll be strong!
Me: Do you know anything about a city of ghouls?
Vidya: There was a ghoul city to the west called Necropolis. But that place was wiped out by the mutants. I guess the survivors may have settled somewhere else…
Nothing else of much interest in town. The bar and the warehouse are now inaccessible and there’s another reference on one of the walls.
When you have no imagination to come up with something good just stick posters on walls. That should do it.
The one that apparently can help us push the thing forward is the Wasteland Stranger.
Hah! What did I tell you? It’s his flask! Kiss me, you sentimental old fool!
Wasteland Stranger: Thanks, kid. You just made my day. And the old vault colors haven’t even faded that much… well well. Here’s those caps.
Wasteland Stranger: Maybe you’ll make it as a Brotherhood knight after all. I’ve been helping these people figure out how they’re going to stay alive… but I’ll be leaving soon.
Me: There are mutants working with the raiders.
Nadia doesn’t give a shit about the old man’s stories.
Wasteland Stranger: I’ve dealt with mutants before… I still remember their Master, his flesh crawling along the walls, a floor of wriggling fingers, clutching at me… If mutants are involved, you’ll need all the help you can get. Here, take this.
Ah.. 1 stimpack. Thank you so much! This is what I needed to destroy the mutants!
Me: Do you know anything about a ghoul city in this region?
Wasteland Stranger: Yeah, I know about a ghoul city.
The answer is always half of the question.
Wasteland Stranger: It’s called Los… Los Anything. I’ll draw you a map.
Los Anything…
…
Wasteland Stranger: Careful if you go there – they don’t like humans.
Well, I guess I’ll just wear a ghoul mask then. Haw haw.
After the dialog is over:
OMG, new character AND bonus movies! Bonus movies being the cinematics I’ve seen so far I guess. Great bonus!
We get to chapter two of the story now, in Los Anything where…
The githzerai have invaded?
Ah.. they’re only ghouls. And they have a Cult Priest which is larger than the others. The next boss?
He recites some deep stuff.
Ghoul Cult Priest: We Strive in battles dire…
Ghoul Cult Priest: … in unseen conflictions with shapes bred from the forsaken wilderness.
Ghoul Cult Priest: Shapes of beast, insect, serpent, and… human.
Ghoul Cult Priest: Los behind me stands, a terrible flaming sun!
Ghoul Cult Priest: It dictates the penalty for trespass: annihilation!
He sort of floats, I think, I can’t see very well… being that THE FUCKING CAMERA IS SO CLOSE and kills the man.
I guess they really don’t like humans.
Ghoul Cult Priest: Let the word go forth.
Ghoul Cult Priest: None may enter the city of Los without the permission of the Church of the Lost.
Ghoul Civilian 2: Who cares? It’s just a human.
Ghoul Civilian 1: Come on, let’s go pick our scabs.
Somebody kill me.
Next time we get to do this:
And shoot the unfriendly ones in the kneecaps, I guess.